I closed my eyes and waited. I thought about younger days, schooldays, travels, friends and lovers. And, I saw
, I saw her come into my life,I heard her laughter and her sweet voice and then I saw her slip away from meforever. Tears filled my eyes. I opened them and saw only the faint light andshadow, now grown larger.“IT’S NOT FAIR,” I screamed, jumping up from my chair. “I didn’task for this, this shouldn’t be happening. Suppose I get up and leave. Whatcould happen? Run away from it all, hide, let it all blow over.”“You can’t get away; there’s no place to go,” Peter answered, his voicean annoying, soft, monotonous drone.“WHAT ABOUT YOU? You stand back there as if this whole mess isa small bump in the road. It’s the end, not just the end for me, but for everything and you, Peter, you act like it’s just a stroll in the park.”“Only five more minutes,” he murmured. “Let’s start to walk; it willcalm you.”“I don’t want to be calm. How can
be so calm at such a time?”He didn’t say anything and, like some sort of robot, I did as he said, gotup from my chair and walked into the hallway. There were only dim lightsand the windows were open allowing a hot breeze to blow through thecorridor. Apart from the faint whistling created by the wind there was silence.“If this were a movie, I’d be lighting up a cigarette, coolly smoking as Iwalk bravely down this final pathway. But, I don’t smoke,” I let out a littlechuckle as we reached the end of hall.“Sit down. I think you’ll be more comfortable,” Peter advised.
what does comfort matter at a moment likethis
.I saw Peter’s tall shadow opposite me and then I felt his hand on myshoulder, felt his hot breath on my neck as he whispered in my ear.“Just a brief flash and it will be over. You probably won’t even hear the boom. And, I promise, no pain.”“How much time now?”“Only thirty seconds…twenty nine…twenty eight…”“Don’t …don’t count,” I tried to scream but my mouth was too dry as Icould only muster a faint rasp. I still felt Peter’s hand on my shoulder andturned to look at his face.