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Preface1992
I was lying on my back in our water bed praying the rosary. My fingers deftly found the beads in the dark as I recited the familiar chant, “Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord iswith thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.”But what I was really thinking was, “Mother Mary, why won’t you appear to me as youhave appeared to so many others all around the world? It’s what I want more thananything!” Didn’t she see my devotion to her and to her message to mankind? Hadn’t Ifasted on bread and water twice that week to “make reparation for the sins of unbelievers”?All at once my gaze was riveted to the wall directly across from the foot of the bed.Could it be? I held my breath, for there, on the blue-flowered wallpaper barely visible inthe darkness, a glowing shape had appeared. I squinted to be sure. Yes, it was thatfamiliar outline of the Virgin – the one of countless statues in gardens and churchyards – a woman with her arms at her sides and slightly extended in beckoning supplication.“Oh wow! This is IT!” I still hadn’t taken a breath but gingerly rolled out of bed inorder to fall prostrate before my Queen. Smugly, I thought to myself, “I just knew thatsomeday my zeal would be rewarded!” As I walked reverently toward the glowingfigure, it vanished. “What!” Maybe my forwardness had frightened her. I crawled back 2
 
into bed and hunted for my rosary. That’s when I noticed that the luminous lady was back on the wall! Should I try it again? I decided yes. Quietly, I slipped out of the bedonce more, grasping my rosary tightly in my fist. Again, the form disappeared! I movedslightly away from the bed. She reappeared! I inched back toward the bed -- gone again.Away from the bed, she was there. Toward the bed – gone! And that’s when I realizedthat my body was alternately blocking and unblocking…a reflection…from my water bedheater light!For a second, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Then I chose to laugh -- deep bellylaughs that gave me the hiccups. I tried to do it quietly so as not to wake my two boysdown the hall. When I remember that moment today, more than ten years later, it makesme laugh again – in relief -- because, if “Mary” had appeared to me that night, I know inmy heart that I would be a “goner” today.
Spring, 1965
“Hurry up with the snacks, Debbie; the movie’s on!” My younger (by eighteen months)sister, Rachelle, yelled from the darkened living room as I walked in with the popcornand a couple of bottles of Roxo soda. The erratic flashes of light from the black-and-white television screen played over the faces of my mother, my two younger sisters…and3
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