ANGER MANAGEMENT

Theres a reason why wrath is one of the seven deadly sins. For most people, anger is an infrequent occurrence, flaring up only to die down. Its seen as a just reaction to an extraordinary event: poor customer service, perhaps, or somebody driving into the back of your car. Yet for many unfortunate others, anger is an embarrassing fact of life they struggle to control. I can identify with this plight only too well. From the age of nine to my mid twenties, I had a terrible temper. Almost anything could set it off- an innocuous remark, what I considered to be a funny look. By fourteen I was receiving behavioural counselling; my sharp tongue and tendency to hit anyone who crossed me made me a menace to be around. The most frustrating side of my condition was there was no discernible reason for it, no dark secrets rattling in my closet. Although some techniques were helpful- and I use them to this very day- others were laughable. The fabled counting to ten? Useless when youve a devastating insult to hurl at somebody. The three guards- Is it kind? Is it fair? Is it true? Id readily acknowledge my latest fit of pique was neither kind nor fair, but sadly it was often all too true.

What is anger? In the most basic terms, anger is a natural biological reaction to a perceived threat. The mind and body tense, preparing themselves for danger. Your immune system goes into overdrive, causing your heart to race, your blood pressure to build and your body to sweat profusely. Your senses are heightened and the production of adrenaline (a hormone secreted at times of stress) soars.

With all these physical changes taking place, its not surprising that the way you think also undergoes changes. Your usual value system is cast aside; you can react before judgement takes over. Its no wonder that many destructive acts- manslaughter, suicide, domestic violence- occur while the angry person is in this state. While outbursts of anger can clearly have disastrous consequences, bottling it up is arguably worse. If your anger is repressed yet never properly contained, it can cause a simmering resentment that mounts over years, boiling over one day when the sufferer cant cope any more. It may cause unattractive behaviours such as passive aggression, where the sufferer expresses themselves through sarcasm and burning martyr behaviour. As well as the potential dangers of anger, it can have a serious impact upon your health. Anger can be the root cause of many psychological disorders, such as depression and anxiety. Not only does it lead to poor physical health, it has a direct link to certain conditions, e.g. high blood pressure, heart disease and strokes.

What is anger management? If you believe that your anger issues are more than you can handle, it may be time to seek professional help. There are a number of avenues open to you; it may be worth chatting with your GP to see what course they recommend. A popular form of anger management is the talking therapy, i.e. counselling and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). A trained professional will explore your issues with you, trying to work out why you react to conflict this way. They use a wide variety of techniques, including meditation, exercises and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprogramming). Conducted upon a one to one basis, they typically take place over weeks and months, building a relationship of trust between patient and therapist. Other common methods include group therapy- where people with similar issues are brought together for a short course, often over a weekend or series of sessions- and local support groups. Groups may have a particular area of focus, e.g. a relationship counselling group, or a domestic violence programme.

Remember ... By acknowledging you have a problem with anger and wish to be cured, youre already taking the first step. It may take time to find the right treatment for you- I was seeing various counsellors on and off for ten years. Whatever you do, dont give up. Itll help open the door to a new, positive life.

For further information, follow these great links!

British Association of Anger Management: Whether you suffer from anger issues or work with somebody who does, this is the UKs leading information source. London Counselling and Psychotherapy: Experienced psychotherapist Tom Feldberg offers one of the most comprehensive programmes in the capital. BBC News: Following a series of high profile cases, BBC News examines anger management to see whether it works.