Brought to you by PrincipiaDiscordia.com and Edited by The Borderline SimpletonSigns You Spend Too Much Time at PD!1.
Words like "dickballs" creep into your spoken vocabulary.2.
When talking IRL, you wish you had a "quote" button to comment on something trivial saidfive minutes ago.2.
You've been logged in for 255 days, 7 hours and 33 minutes.2.
You fuck up threads with your very first post.3.
You spend a weekend at high geekery, and have to avoid cracking in jokes that THEY won'tget.4.
The Scrid knows more about your life than your meatspace friends.5.
You use "citation needed" in a spoken sentence.6.
You make an OKCupid account so you can troll horny morons, only you end up gettingnothing but messages from people who say things like "OMG, you really run PD.com? Whoare you over there? Are you Roger?"7.
You've managed to convince yourself that this topic can't possibly apply to you.8.
You call your kids SPAGS all the time.9.
You think of people you like as "glorious faggots".10.
Whenever anyone mentions a forum on TV, your bowels tingle with anticipation.11.
You find yourself shouting, "SWEET MERCIFUL FUCK, PTERADACTYLS!"12.
The mere mention of the font 'arial' send you into hysterics.13.
MOUSTACHES!14.
You keep PD.com open in a tab nearly all the time.15.
You don't open PD for a few months, then return only to find that after a week or so, you areonce again like a crackhead slave to the PD drug. And way, way too many of the itemsalready posted apply to you.16.
You get more pissed at fellow forumites than family or co workers.17.
You've met other forumites IRL, and FAIL at referring to them by, or remembering, their realnames.18.
You stay awake late at night thinking about what you should have typed.19.
You post so late at night that you need to increase the font size so you can actually read thescreen.20.
A.) “SHITFUCKDAMN" is both a hilarious curse AND the best thread in existence.20.
B.) You've actually made literary alusions to said thread in conversation.20.
C.) Someone GOT said alusion.21.
All you ever talk about IRL is PD shit.22.
When talking IRL, you wish you had a collection of smileys to express how you feel aboutsomething said by others.23.
You notice 23s, while at the same time making fun of people who notice 23s.24.
You feel lost and lonely without the smiley.25.
When you meet another Discordian in real life, your immediate reaction is a vague revulsion.26.
When you meet another Discordian in real life, your immediate reaction is a vague titillation.
27.
When you meet another discordian in real life and they find out you're a PD-er, they stoptalking to you and get off the bus even though it's not their stop.28.
You constantly talk about people you'd be better off simply ignoring29.
You see something during the day and think of how you'd post it here.30.
You go to post it, think it's stupid, and delete it.31.
You have to remind yourself not to escalate polite discussions into arguments. It is difficultto resist.32.
You know obscure facts about people you've never physically met, but regularly forgetfamily members' birthdays.33.
I posted in this thread.34.
Instead of doing that report for financing, you spend time thinking of witty things to add tothe "Signs that you spend too much time at PD" thread.35.
You think people talking to men named Fred are talking to you.36.
Your political affiliation is to the Noodle Party.37.
You make an off-handed remark about black men raping someone, and people don't find itall that funny.38.
You put up something like this on your bedroom door,because your roommates were getting on your last good nerve.39.
You know both of the cool people in Canada.40.
You're genuinely shocked when you mention "ANAL?", and people take serious offense.41.
You realize 1, 4, 10, 12, 17, 20, 21, 31, 35, and 38 all happened to you last weekend.42.
Your mother thinks you went to college with an internet person cause you talk to her onlineso much.43.
When you call your filthy assistant at work "glorious faggot".And then wonder why he gets mad.44.
Its half past one in the morning and dispite not having slept in 36 hours you keep saying "justone more thread.”45.
You read this entire thread, looking for the funny, and, having found no funny, are onlydisappointed in yourself for trying.
46.
You can no longer tell the difference between insults and humour.47.
You are familiar with all PD tradition.48.
The most exciting thing that's happened to you in months is having an argument with TGRR.49.
Number 47 is made all the more hideous by the knowledge that things will become bothmore horrible yet
less
exciting over the next few years.50.
You understand the need for the icon.51.
Horrormirth is now a part of your regular vocabulary.52.
You tell your mother she will "shit bricks" when she sees something and get a blank stare inresponse.53.
You wish you could actually make this face .54.
You keep wondering why other people don't know what spag means.55.
You have tried to explain to someone why it’s awesome that their last name is Salazar.56.
A.) You try to give someone at another forum and realize a) they don't have amittens smilie b) no one else would understand if you could give them mittens.56.
B.) You imagelink them the mittens anyway then point blank refuse to explain your actions56.
C.) You do the same, but in meatspace.57.
You forget that Fred and Nigel are theoretically boys names.58.
You realize you have more internet friends than you do IRL friends.59.
You realize almost everything, or everything in this list applies to you.60.
When you realize you left your bike outside, you laugh.61.
You long since gave up on getting every in joke.62.
You tell someone to kill themselves and fuck the body and they make a weird little face likethey are choking on their own eyeballs.You vaguely remember making the same face a long long time ago.63.
In a list thread, you don't bother reading the previous posts and wind up posting somethingthat was already done two pages ago.64.
You understand why this is funny.
65.
You try to give "mittens" to people on other forums, and they react with confusion tingedwith a bit of fear.66.
You get bored on a Sunday afternoon when not many people are posting, and haveforgotten about other places on the interwebs to hang out.67.
You have pondered the best way to reformat a forum thread into a readable PDF.68.
You actively take the lead in PD projects.69.
You used to hate puns.70.
You used to
like
puns.71.
You think 1+1=3.72.
You never used to scream "OMGZ U R TEH SUCK KYSFTB!!!" when people made puns.73.
"Pass me the potatoes OR KILL ME!!!!"74.
You actually typed out what you wanted to say, now you have to watch ending work emailswith KTHNXBAI or answering with TITCM!75.
You troll everyone and you can't stop.75.
B.) You see no problem with this arrangement.
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