12 Ways to Scare an Adoptive Mom

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12 Ways to Scare an AdoptiveMom - Things Not to Ask

by Lisa CopenAdoption can be a joyful experience, but it's also not asecret that it can have its shares of worries anduncertainties. If a friend or family member is adopting youmay be concerned that she has not yet considered all of therisks involved in putting her heart out there and pursuingadoption. Oftentimes loved ones of those who adopt hear all of the fears voiced byfriends and it just adds to their stress. They do understand the risks and don't need reallyneed reminders of them, keeping them awake at night.What are some concerns you shouldn't vocalize? Some examples include:[1] Are you nervous that you won't bond with the baby since you didn't carry it?[2] What if your child doesn't look anything like you?[3] I thought adoption was really expensive? I don't mean to pry but how do you plan to pay for it?[4] I've heard of some adoption nightmares when the birth father claims his rights? Doyou know much about him?[5] What if you end up paying for all of the birth mom's medical expenses and then shechanges her mind about the adoption?[6] Some day she will be a teenager and want to run off and live with her birth mom.What will you do then?[7] Aren't you afraid his real mom will change her mind and fight for him?[8] What if your child has some genetic disease and you could have avoided it if you'dknown his medical history?[9] Do you feel like you can really love her as much as your other kids?[10] Older children come with a lot more emotional baggage. Have you consideredgetting a baby so you'd be the mom from day one?[11] Did you hear that story about that birth mother who kidnapped her child because shewanted to get him back?

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