Sun Dance

Sun Dance by Jessica Folley
1
Chapter One
“Ma petite voiture.” I said it out loud and proud as I circled my tiny little Vauxhall and
climbed in the drivers side.
It was one of many new things to my life. For starters, I had passed my driving
test over the summer. A hectic summer, one of which I was never planning to survive.
With the attack of the Others mixed with the potential loss of Jasper, kidnappings,
things going missing and general family issues, like my choice of not going to college, I
was planning to be either killed by
a) my Dad due to my choice of rejecting college,
b) Petunia and the Others in their desperate bid to get the Orb of Twilight. An Orb so
powerful that it controlled the moon, bla bla bla. Another fairytale that turned out to be
true in my life. And then option
c) losing Jasper. If I’d have lost him, then I couldn’t be here today. Not wouldn’t,
couldn’t. If I’d have lost him when I first showed him what I was, then I’d have died of
heartbreak. Time would have healed me, even if it were to be incredibly slowly, even if I
weren’t healed completely. After all, I had forever. If the Others were to have killed him,
then I’d have followed behind. Any amount of time away from him was painful, and
there seemed to be no rational explanation for my feelings towards him.
And this was only the supposed beginning of my life as a fairy. I had been kept in
the dark until shortly before my 17th birthday. Apparently, I had been the child they
thought wouldn’t handle it very well, and, as expected, I didn’t. I immediately felt the
need to tell Jasper, something which then led to more trouble. Because he knew, and the
Others knew what a strong bond I had with him, they kidnapped him. It was a hard time
in my life for me, and I hoped that it was now over.
I also learned, after escaping Brazil alive, that Jasper was something just a little
bit out of the ordinary. His family doesn’t know themselves what they are, but they are
different. Super strength mixed in with the sixth sense, super speed, being able to hear
heartbeats as well as the ability to vanish and reappear at free will is pretty damn special,
and way more impressive than being able to sprout wings and say a few little
enchantments.
The final thing I learnt that summer, was that being a fairy was not easy what so
ever. Stuff flowers. There was more action involved than a kung-fu movie, and it was
tiresome. I looked forward to kicking back with ma petite voiture and Jasper. Everything
was at a calm, and I could be normal again. No more need to ever get those wings out.
I couldn’t wait to watch the dust collect on them.
I was smiling manically all the way home from work. I hated the job, it was more
like slave labour. Low pay and high working hours. I really did live on tips. Plus the
commute was a pain. The café I now worked in was shoved in the centre of Hemel
Hempstead, and the traffic was usually thick and irritating. My boss was a small wiry
man who had nothing better to do with his time than to shout at us. He was not a
motivator, and I was surprised that I’d managed to last the two weeks I’d been working
there, let alone still planning to go next week. I usually came home smelling of bacon fat,
and being dead on my feet. I lived for the weekends. Two days I could spend with the
people who mattered most. My Dad wasn’t entirely supportive of this plan, but he was
2
glad that I wasn’t running off with Jasper straight away.

He’d rather that I came home from head to toe in cow poo than do that, however
much respect he now had for him.
My Mum, on the other hand, was just happy to see that I was happy. As long as I
came home with a smile on my face, she was fine with whatever I did. And so was Jasper.
Except that he didn’t like me going home to my family. He wanted me to go home to
him.
I did always go and see him after work, or he came to see me, but it was never
enough. My Dad didn’t want me to move out, nor did my Mum, but I did need more
space and less restrictions. I just wasn’t sure I was ready to give into Jasper’s demands. I
had decided myself that I was going to wait until after Christmas before I make any big
decisions. Then it would have looked like I’d put some sort of thought into it, even
though I knew that I would move in with him anyway. I didn’t want to do it, but I didn’t
want to upset him.
As the engine rattled into life, I turned up the volume on my CD player. The low
autumn sun bounced off of the red bonnet of my car, highlighting yet another dent in it. It
had only cost a couple of hundred quid, but it moved and played music, so I was a happy
bunny.
Surprisingly, for a Friday night, the traffic was rather thin. I managed to speed
home within forty minutes, gaining enough distance between myself and work to relax.
Two whole days to do whatever I pleased, to be with whoever I wanted to be with, before
I had to go back to slavery, and I was never going to complain about that.
I pulled into Jasper’s driveway just as the sun finally sunk beneath the horizon.
Half of the trees down the narrow lanes were part bare, and the floor was almost always
damp. It rained heavily at night time, but very rarely during the day, and for that I was
grateful. However much I loved the rain, I still wasn’t a very confident driver.
You could tell I was expected. I didn’t need to open my door- Jasper was already
there waiting to pull me out into his warm embrace. He pulled me out of the car and
scooped me up into one arm, using the other to remove the key from the ignition. He
kicked the door shut as he kissed my lips briefly. Then, as always on a Friday, he carried
me in through the door of his parent’s house and dumped me on the sofa, his smile broad
and life threatening - in the sense that it stopped my heart to the extent where it nearly
refused to beat again.
“Hey, stranger.” I beamed. I loved our little private jokes. The sort of things you
never got the time to build in a relationship when you were darting to the other side of the
world and stuff like that.
“Why, howdy, Missus. And what’s a pretty young’un like you doin’ round these
here parts?” He pretended to tip up his cowboy hat. He stared down at me, intensely,
setting thousands of butterflies free around my tummy.
The grass is always greener on the other side. With Jasper, that is always true. In
the bad times, his eyes were green, but dull, hopeless. Now they were bright, lively and
even more captivating. I could just sit there all day and gaze. I wouldn’t need food or
drink or anything, just looking at him would do that for me.
I forced myself right to the back of the sofa and patted the empty space in front of
me. He shook his head before putting his hands on my back and sliding me forward and
then jumped into the small gap he had created. He kissed my neck as he reached for the
3
remote and zapped the TV on.

We aimlessly flicked through the many channels, arguing over the boring western
movie on, how he wanted to watch it and I didn’t, how I wanted to watch that cookery
show with the famous guy on it to improve my abysmal skills, and how he didn’t, and it
felt normal. Something I didn’t expect to have for a few years was normality, but there I
was, doing what every other girlfriend and boyfriend were doing. Eventually, we settled
on a music channel, and watched the confusing symbolism a band is predicted to give,
until I grew restless.
I carefully rolled myself over so I was facing him. I couldn’t control my eyes as
they kept flicking back to the tiny scar underneath his lip, the silvery line barely visible
unless under the light. I hated looking at it. It hurt me to remember what pain I put him
through, even if he did have the capability to stop it himself. Even though he had told me
hundreds of times since the incident that it was okay, that I was forgiven, that it wouldn’t
change anything, it still felt like I was having a red-hot poker being forced into my heart
every time I saw it. Looking away I saw that his is eyes weren’t watching the TV- they
were on me.
“What?” I asked, feeling self conscious. Nervously, I patted my hair, making sure
everything was perfect. Sometimes being next to someone so beautiful made you feel
continually and hopelessly scruffy. And small.
“This song is naff. I’ll show you proper music.” The mischievous grin that I had
missed from so long ago was back on his face. I couldn’t really remember the last time I
had seen it. I blinked and he was standing before me. He was now less afraid to move
rapidly around me, since everything was out in the open.
I had always thought he had been happy before, but now being able to do
everything that felt natural to him made him even more amazing than before. There
wasn’t just three dimensions to him- there were dozens, each matching the next with
skills a normal human couldn’t even dream of.
“You know, I would never have complained if you did that before.” I frowned as I
steadied myself from rolling backwards into the newly vacant space.
“Yes, your music taste can be a bit pants.” He grabbed my hands and lifted me up
off of the sofa.
“No, stupid! The movement!” I rolled my eyes at him as he arched his eyebrow.
“Well then, come here.” He commanded. Although I didn’t have much choice. I
was already being pulled into his strong arms, and just as he had carried me into the
house, he carried me up to his room. Except that it was much faster.
The living room furniture all blurred as we rushed past it, not a single footstep
was heard as we sprinted up the stairs. I couldn’t tell where one door ended and another
began we were moving so fast. My heart had only beat twice. I blinked once in the
middle of the landing, and opened my eyes again to find myself in his room, right next to
his CD collection.
The collection where I had found the clue.
I shrank back into him as I locked that memory back in the forbidden cupboard. I
had sworn to myself that I would never let those frightening times effect anything Jasper
and I had. Ever. And I was soul bent on keeping that promise.
He put my feet back down on the ground and pulled out a CD. He didn’t even
need to look for it. He had the order memorised, and killed anyone who messed it up. I
4
sometimes thought you could hear him shout at his Mum from my house, and we lived at
least fifteen minutes away from each other.
He stepped over to the stereo player and put the CD on. He turned the volume up
and went to sit down on the bed. I followed him over as the song chimed through the air,
the sweet sound of acoustic guitar shaking the windows gently.
I sat down next to him, trying to make out the lyrics, but all I could think of was
him being there, next to me. Within touching distance. I just had to stretch out my hand
and I’d be touching him!
I knew I had every right to touch him, after all, he was my boyfriend. And even
though we’d been together for over six months, I still felt just as crazy about him as I had
in the first place. I felt like a little kid in a sweet shop, and I wanted everything.
It was as if he’d read my thoughts. Mental, since his parents hadn’t passed that
trait down to him, but he had. He began brushing my cheek with his fingers. I could hear
his breathing increase. I could also feel the burn from wanting him, and the freeze from
knowing that I couldn’t have him. I had him emotionally, and to an extent physically, but
not physically enough for my liking. But I ‘had to wait’. There was a ‘promise I have to
keep to your father.’ I really did hate that promise. If I had been aware of the time that it
was made, I’d have interrupted. I wasn’t even sure how long that promise had been going
for, or even when the two of them had found the time to agree on it.
“Look at me, Lily.”
I looked up, realising that I’d been staring at my feet. I blushed slightly, making
Jasper chuckle.
“I still feel like I have to be careful with you.” Jasper now had hold of a strand of
my hair and was twiddling it in his fingers, “I don’t know when my super strength will
kick in.”
“It wouldn’t matter anyway! This is driving me crazy! We can’t even really kiss
properly! If it hasn’t happened since, and it never happened before, then it won’t happen
now! Stop waiting and being cautious! Please!” Well, that sure as hell came out of
nowhere. The lightning running through my veins had quickly turned sour, but after the
outburst it was steadily regaining the sweetness that it had around it before.
“What’s wrong?” He dropped my strand of hair and took my hand instead,
cupping it in the both of his. He looked down at it, before swapping it for my left hand. I
could feel his gaze on my ring finger, so I pulled it away. Not for another four years at
least! Please!
“This whole stupid cautious thing. You know there is nothing to be worried about
here. You know that I trust you 100 percent. And please, stop looking at my hand like
that! I’m not going to go running off with anyone else in the next four years. I love you
so much, and you know I haven’t got a life without you!”
I could feel his eyes were now off of my hand. Now they were on my face, which
was ten times worse. Now I could feel him trying to read my facial expressions, to see if
it was something deeper than that. I quickly made my face blank, hoping to sweep this
conversation under the carpet. The quicker it was over, the better.
“So many worries for such a small person.” He growled right in my ear.
I looked up at him for a sixth of a second, and then he jumped on me, sending me
flying to the surface of the bed. He ignored my protests as he kissed my neck, all the way
up to the tip of my nose, his kisses fast and furious.
5
I couldn’t get a single word out. As soon as I tired to speak, he kissed my lips,
making me light headed and my ability to think straight rapidly vanish. So I sat there and
laughed in protest as he smothered me.
I wriggled myself closer to him, beginning to kiss back. I could feel his hands
brushing against my waist, and the temptation was excruciating. He pulled my hair out of
the bunch that it had been in, and combed through it delicately with his fingers. I slid my
hands up the inside of his shirt, continuing to kiss him. For once, he didn’t try and push
them away. Instead, he did the same to me, his hand softly stroking my tummy, covering
my skin in goose bumps and making me shiver.
“Jazz! We’re home!” The sound was obvious over the drone of the new song; it
had a higher pitch. More like the string section of an orchestra than the music coming out
of the stereo.
“Oh!” Jasper pulled away, gasping. He slapped his hand to his forehead before
taking my hand out from under his shirt, and standing up. He did it all in one fluent
movement, and I didn’t have the ability to realise it had happened at first. It was only as
my hand hit the soft mattress that I realised he had gone.
“Parents… They’ve come home today from Paris. You were supposed to be ready
for them to give you something-” I refused to let him finish the sentence.
“Give? Dude, you know how I hate gifts.” I jumped up and stood behind him,
wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Your heart sounds so nervous! It’s not just for you! It’s for me, too. And I hope
your Dad agrees. I already know what it is, of course.” He began to walk to his door,
dragging me along behind him.
“But still! And what would my Dad object to these days?” I quizzed, hoping it
wasn’t something crazy like his and hers motorbikes or matching tattoos.
“You’ll see.”
I could tell his eagerness to get downstairs. I could feel it in the pace he walked-
something between a brisk walk and a run.
“Oh, just pick me up if you want to get there that badly!” I hissed, letting my arms
drop to my sides before folding them. I put my face into my best ‘little girl strop’ pout,
and tapped my foot impatiently.
“You look so cute when you do that! No wonder why Daddy won’t let you leave
home!” He kissed my neck at the same time he picked me up, and rushed me down the
stairs.
Chapter Two
Mr and Mrs Tanner -or Paul and Tara as I were supposed to call them- were sitting on the
sofa, their expensive clothes complimenting their expensive hair-do’s and furniture.
6
Tara’s hair was piled on top of her head, a few random curls hanging sweetly around her
face. Her back was poker straight, and she had her legs firmly crossed with her hands
resting on her knee. I wanted to ask them what all the formality was about, but Paul took
all the words right out of my… well… head.
“It’s a gift, not a form of torture. And we haven’t been able to change since we
got back home. Keeping up appearances, you know.” He winked, his eyes the same shade
of emerald as Jaspers. Although his hair was black and incredibly curly compared to
Jasper’s straight, floppy, auburn hair, you couldn’t see anything but Paul in there. Tara
didn’t even seem to come into the equation, unless you saw them smile.
They were identical. The perfectly straight teeth, the way the smile accentuated
the eyes, and the way that they could warm a whole hostile room with them.
Tara patted the brown leather beside her. I accepted her offer and plonked down
next to her, my bare arms squeaking against the leather. Previously, I had been peeved
that they had gotten ‘us’ a gift. How lovely that ‘us’ sounded. It sounded perfect. But
thanks to that smile -one that would eventually tick me off if it made her get her way too
often- I had melted, and was now putty in her hands.
“You’ll really like it, Lily. I promise.” Jasper sat down beside me and took my
hand. He must have seen the look on my face as I tried to disguise everything. I couldn’t
offend Tara and Paul. They had always been so hospitable to me, so understanding.
“Well, I know how hard you’ve been working recently, Lily, and Paul and I both
thought you and Jasper needed a well deserved break. Now, don’t get too angry. It’s just
for a long weekend, and it’s not anywhere too ‘wow’.” I laughed a she used her fingers as
quotation marks around wow. What parents can do when they try to be cool. She frowned
at me in disapproval, “So, you and Jasper are going to Bournemouth for next Thursday.”
Jasper squeezed my hand. I scrunched my face up. How was I going to get Dad to
agree with this one?
“I’ve already taken the liberty of getting around you Dad for you, Lily. He said
it’s fine. He just thinks that we’re going along too. So remember that. We were there.”
Paul winked once again, before getting up and leaving the room. I couldn’t tell what
direction he went in; the carpet muffled any sounds that they were unlikely to have made
anyway. Tara got up a few seconds after, squeezed my shoulder and ran after him, the
points of her heels leaving marks in the floor.
“Why Bournemouth?” I hissed, remembering my first childhood holiday in
England. It had been warm everywhere else in the country, yet the rain didn’t stop
pouring in Bournemouth. And it was the only time it had rained that year.
The funfair wasn’t open. The beach was deserted. The numerous café’s that
scattered the costal route were mostly closed since only the more serious walkers were
out and about. The only people around were either dog walkers of the hardcore surfers
who used the storms as a great excuse to ‘ride more gnarly waves’ as my Dad had so
cringingly put it.
“It’s close by. Plus, the weather’s going to be great!”
I hated putting Jasper’s enthusiasm down, so I swallowed what I wanted to say. I
half-heartedly shouted thanks out into the hall, unsure which direction to send it in.
“They’re in the conservatory.” Jasper told me, certain that I didn’t have a clue.
Using his knowledge, I turned my head and shouted at the wall behind me. I had
never been in the conservatory before, but I knew where it was. You walked through the
7
shiny, metallic kitchen to it. The kitchen that was very seldom used. It was impeccably
clean except for the few areas of dust piling up, and the odd crisp that Jasper had lazily
dropped on the floor and ‘forgotten’ to pick up.
“Welcome!” Paul’s voice ran down the hallway.
I fixed my gaze on the new family photo that had been put up since my last visit.
There were four people in there, not the usual three that had been before. The new
member was a girl, who looked a few years older than Jasper. She looked strikingly
similar to Tara, although her eyes were the same green as Jasper and Paul’s. Tara must
have felt really left out that she was the only one to have boring, common brown eyes.
I stood up and walked over to it to get a closer view.
The girl had the same elegance to her as her parents, although her clothes were
badly hiding a small bump, the cotton stretching over it. She looked incredibly pale, as if
all of her life force was being sucked away from her. I could only imagine a baby would
do that, especially if you looked like you did as much work as these guys.
“That’s Afina.” Jasper’s lips were brushing my earlobe, his breath warm against
my cooling skin, “She left home about five years ago. She’s 25 now. Expecting her first.
She got married three years ago, and we had to let her husband in on the secret. He took
it… surprisingly well. Much better than we had anticipated. But then when you could see
how he looks at her, you’d understand. There’s something there that is stronger than just
love on its own.”
His lips touched the corner of my mouth. I stood there, frozen to the spot. I closed
my eyes for a moment and rolled back on the balls of my feet into him. I was exhausted.
My week had been tough and the call for sleep was calling me harsher than ever. I had
been battling to stay awake before. I felt his lips at my ear again.
“Something almost as strong as what you and I have. But we’ll talk about that
another day. I’m going to drive you home now.”
I had so many questions to ask him, like why I’d never heard of her before, when
I’d get to meet her, how close they were, but I felt his arms slip into the creases of my
knees. He pushed gently and I keeled over. He caught me and slipped my keys out of my
pocket, called out to his parents and took me to my car. A few raindrops splattered down
onto my face and slid down the back of my neck. I shivered instantly, using the
momentary awareness to speak.
“You’re not driving me home! How will you get back?” My protest was as weak
as I was.
“Who says I’m going home? Besides, I’ll walk. And your Dad wants another
word with me.” He lay me down in the back seat, not bothering to put my seatbelt on.
“Would you stop doing that mind reading thing!” I shouted, waving my left arm
randomly in the air.
“It’s not me! It’s Pau- Dad! You know I can’t do it. I don’t really want to have
another chat with your Dad, either!” The engine roared into life and he reversed into the
road. He sped off home as I lay there silently, my eyes closed, but my brain not shutting
down.
I listened to the tires grinding along the road as Jazz changed my CD, cursing at
how ‘lame and over-rated’ it was, and sliding in something from his personal collection
that he kept in my car now. I could hear him humming along to every song, pitch perfect.
It sounded like a lullaby, and I could feel my brain beginning to give up on me.
8
I had crashed out by the time we had gotten to my door, and woke up twenty
minutes later on my bed. My Dad was sat at my desk reading, obviously waiting for me
to stir. I could see his fists were clenched with tension, and his shoulders were stiff.
I toyed with playing dead for a little bit longer, just so I didn’t have to get this
conversation started, but then decided against it. If I got it out the way with, then maybe
Jasper would visit me. I could then fall asleep with him, wake up next to him and then
pretend I’m running out to meet him tomorrow morning. But I’d have to get this out of
the way with first. And besides, I wanted to know what Dad had said to Jazz.
“Dad?” I made my voice tired and strained, my acting skills slightly improved
from last time. I was dreading this. I quickly planned out my arguments in my head.
Whatever Paul had sorted out, Dad could just as quickly un-sort it.
“Lily. About Bournemouth. I’m letting you go, but only on the condition that you
share a room with Tara. I know that you’re going to want to go regardless, and I’m not
going to stop you. You’re 17, and you can make your own decisions. You’re also very
tired, so I’m going to leave you to get some sleep, but don’t presume that I’m not going
to call you twice a day, because I will. Now rest.” He didn’t even turn around to look at
me. He just put his book down and smoothed his hair.
“Okay, Dad. Thanks. Night.” His calm and relaxed attitude towards the situation
startled me and completely caught me off guard. The lack of information bugged me
immensely.
I turned a blind eye when he got up and scrutinised me, his eyes searching for
something that told him I was faking my sleepy state. Something he wasn’t going to find,
since I was that tired. I was tired, but also dying to see if Jasper would come, and I knew
he wouldn’t if I was asleep. I was torn between staying awake and getting sleep I
desperately needed.
Dad swooped down and kissed my forehead quickly before pulling the duvet up
over my nose. I yawned and tucked my knees into my chest, my hands balled beneath my
head.
I heard his footsteps pad dully on the floor and the door creaking as he pulled it
too. Hard to believe that no sound came from him when he was in fairy form. Ah, fairies.
The cause of all my problems. Misleading fairytales. Never was I going to bring my
children up to want to be a fairy. They were going to be a taboo subject in my household.
If they never knew anything, the easier it would be. If Jasper never let anything slip about
his abilities, the easier that would be. If we just kept quiet…
I smelt smoke around me. I was choking on the smell. My feet were on fire, I
could just feel it. My toes scrunched up from the heat as I clenched my teeth together,
almost pushing them back into my gums. I could make out the screams of my family in
the distance, but one scream stood out from the rest- Jasper’s.
I tried to stand up, but my arms gave way just before I pushed up. When I tried to
roll over, I just rolled and rolled, as if I was speeding off down a hill. My head was
spinning and confused, and I was lost.
Everything around me was unnervingly bright. The light bouncing off of the water
burnt my eyes, making me squeeze them shut. The phrase “Go towards the light” floated
around my head randomly, sending weird shocks to my core.
I felt something clutch at my wrist, my hand going numb because my blood
9
supply was being cut off. When I squinted to look down at it, it was purple, my veins
obviously pulsing up and down beneath my thin skin. There was nothing on my wrist
other than a thing, delicate ring of black beads, all shining in the harsh glare.
I felt something hit my chest, sending me hurtling to the ground. The manic
laughter of someone I never wanted to hear of again rattled around my head, her
bloodlust and ambitiousness overthrowing every single bit of her dignity.
I could see the family she had abused in the distance, looking just as scarily
perfect yet shatteringly wrong as before. They were holding hands, their heads bent
downwards. Meditating. She was in the middle, her black hair being held up by invisible
string, acting like a sick sort of crown.
Then they vanished.
A black ring appeared at their feet and it began to grow. My mouth was dry and I
couldn’t scream. I couldn’t move as the hole swallowed them up, leaving nothing but a
pair of black wings. I was a statue.
I looked down at my feet, my eyes now being the only thing I could move. They
were carved out of marble and I was stuck. I could feel the sticky sweat dripping down
my back, as if I had been forced inside. I wanted someone to turn the heat down.
The light turned to dark as the wind changed direction, the smell of burning
changing to the smell of metal, of iron.
They came out of the shadows, from in between the trees.
Their eyes were a strange orange colour, their faces a shocking white. They all
wore black trousers and a black top, emphasising their pale skin. The one in the front
looked up at me, as if he could see through the statue shield.
I looked down at my feet again, and I was just human. I felt naked, like my soul
had just been shared with the world, and that everyone knew the dirty truth about me.
“You!” The one in the front pointed at me and beckoned me towards him.
I knew I shouldn’t do it. His eyes. His eyes! It wasn’t me controlling my body
anymore. It was him.
I glided towards him, my feet half an inch off of the floor. It was like I was
walking on ice, it was so easy.
He grabbed my by the throat.
He opened his mouth. The moon came out from behind the cloud and highlighted
his jagged teeth. He slowly brought them down to my neck as I struggled in his grip.
I screamed. And it drowned out all the other screams going on in the background.
“Lily? Lily?”
My Mum was there, stroking the side of my face, her expression concerned. My
duvet was on the floor and my head was at the wrong end of my bed. I could feel my hair
stuck to my forehead, and the pin pricks of blood rushing back stung my hand.
“Mum!” I grabbed her and drove my face into her shoulder. My sobs came thick
and heavy.
“What’s wrong?” She soothed, still stroking my face.
I didn’t know what was wrong. Nothing in that dream made any sense. The
Others had vanished, they were not the ones to be causing me any harm. But those other
things? I didn’t even know what they were, let alone if they were actually a threat.
Okay, so grabbing me by the throat and trying to bite me was threatening. And
10
maybe I did know what they were. I just didn’t want to think about it. I mean, their
mannerisms had been so obvious and clear, but they made no sense to be there. It was just
a normal nightmare, using familiar scenarios to spook me more. Right?
“N..Nothing. Bad dream. Sorry…” I mumbled, pulling my face out of her jumper.
“You sure?” I could tell she didn’t believe me, but I wanted to be alone. Badly. I
needed sleep, and I wasn’t going to get that with the fear of that dream happening again,
or with a panicked Mum sitting on the end of my bed, watching my every movement.
It had felt so real. The smell, the frozenness… everything. I felt like I already
knew the place it had happened, like I had already experienced it, but I knew that I
hadn’t. I felt immature. Tulip was the right age to wake up crying to her Mum about a
nightmare. Not me. If I couldn’t deal with nightmare’s by myself, then how would I cope
living away from here?
“Okay. You know where I am if you need me.” She rubbed my hair before getting
up and leaving the room, the door clicking shut.
Reluctantly, I rolled over and closed my eyes, but the image of the monster was
scarred onto the inside of my eyelids, along with the faint traces of every other image that
had been scarred there over the past few months.
When the image got too unbearable, when my hands finally had enough of the
nails digging into them, I opened them again, and dragged myself out of bed. The clock
only read 2am, but I wouldn’t dare have that dream again.
There was so much in there to confuse me for my brain to quieten down, so
instead I rummaged around in the dark and dug my iPod out of my bag and put the buds
in my ears. I turned the volume up as loud as my ears would let me before they bled, and
gazed into the darkness.
Somehow, I managed to drift back to sleep.
Chapter Three
My eyes burst open as something grabbed hold of my hand.
The dream hadn’t come to me again that night, but my senses were still in
overdrive, and I was ready to pounce at the first sign of danger. I couldn’t explain why
that dream had creeped me out in such an extravagant way, but it had. And I really didn’t
like it.
“What’s up, Lils?” He sat up beside me and leant over so his face was in front of
mine.
“Huh? What?” I relaxed. It was Jasper. I was safe with him around.
“You had this on pretty loud. I wondered what was up.” He held up my iPod, the
11
headphones now neatly wrapped around it.

I blushed. “Oh, bad dream.” I half shrugged, hoping that he’d drop the subject.
“Want to share?” He asked, lying back down next to me and wrapping his arm
around my waist.
My mind went blank as I realised that I could feel his chiselled stomach touching
my back. My breathing became irregular, and I gulped at the air. I resisted turning around
and gluing myself to him. Well, at least until I’d given him my answer.
“Nope. It was nothing.” I was staring at the wall hard, not blinking. I turned to
face him before he got the chance to notice.
“You didn’t get changed?” He was eyeing my clothes ravenously.
Wondering what he was looking at so eagerly, I glanced down at myself. My t-
shirt was tucked into the bottom of my bra, revealing my tummy. I quickly sat up and
readjusted it, giving myself a quick once over. I could feel my skin burning red as he
pulled me back down next to him, his lips pressing against my neck.
“I’m not fussed. It’s your Dad with the problem.”
I rolled my eyes as he winked at me, his hair falling messily over his eyes.
I longed to swipe it away, to clear the path to his eyes. I longed to trace the
mountains and valleys of his tummy, to show him how much I loved him. But I couldn’t.
I was barred.
“I love you. You’re safe with me.” He whispered into my ear as Roman stomped
up the stairs. He quickly kissed my lips before vanishing, leaving me hanging as my door
flung open.
“Mum wants you up. You told her you were going into town today. She wants you
back before dark.” He stopped or a second and turned his head over his shoulder, “That
everything, Mum?” He fumed.
“Yep! Lovely!” Mum sang up the stairs just before she turned the hoover on.
“Oh, Megan called earlier. She wonders what you’re doing tomorrow.” And with
that, he turned and went into his own room, the music blaring before my door had
finished closing.
“Right. So town, Megan, Jazz.” I puffed my cheeks out and pushed my fringe
back.
The clock read midday as I dragged myself out of bed and pulled on my favourite
jumper. I ran the brush through my hair slowly as I tried to think of what I was doing
tomorrow, before I called Megan. No doubt, the new Megan would want all the gossip.
And no gory things. And maybe a white cappuccino with pink sugar whilst she was at it.
I shoved my purse into my bag and grabbed my keys off of my desk. Obviously, I
didn’t remember putting them there, but there they were. I patted my pockets for my iPod
before remembering that they hadn’t been in my jeans for ages, and made my way over to
my bed and picked it up.
I grabbed my jacket and ran down the stairs and into the kitchen where I nicked a
slice of toast off of Mum’s plate. I quickly took a bite and then retraced part of my travel
to the phone, where I called Megan.
She took ages to pick up.
“Hey, Megs. It’s me.” I put the half eaten slice down and finished my mouthful.
“Hey! I guess Roman asked you then? So, what are you doing tomorrow?” Her
voice used to be so gruff, so not-caring. Now it had a sickly lovey-dovey coating to it,
12
one that seemed frighteningly natural. I wondered if that was what happened to my voice
after I met Jasper.
“Erm… nothing as far as I know… What do you want to do?” I tapped my foot
impatiently. I couldn’t wait to get out into the chilly autumn air and speed my way into
town with all of the windows rolled down.
“I was thinking about going ice skating. I’ve heard they’ve done the rink up in
Montem Lane. I was thinking that maybe we could have a girly catch up. Hit the ‘shake
bar afterwards if you get my drift.”
I did get her drift, and although I didn’t really want to go, I accepted.
“Sure. I’ll pick you up at 12. That okay with you?” I jammed the phone between
my ear and my shoulder as I pulled my shoes on. I hopped around a couple of times
before grabbing on to the banister with my free hand.
“12? Fine by me! I’ll see you then!” I could hear the rustle of what sounded like a
chocolate wrapper in the background. I pulled a face.
“Yep! Bye!” I hung up and continued my way to the door.
As soon as I stepped outside, I took a deep breath of the fresh air. I looked at the
piles of leaves littering the road, the oranges, reds and browns looking like a fire. The
oranges looking like those eyes…
I stopped staring at the leaves and got into my car, winding down the windows
before I did anything else. It still smelt sort of like beer from the previous owner, and the
quicker I got that out, the better.
I popped Jasper’s CD out of the player and shoved my own in before I started
driving to Watford. The roads were almost empty again, considering it was a Saturday,
and parking was no problem.
The shopping complex was packed as usual, business men hurrying from shop to
shop whilst women chatting away on their mobiles walked along, swaying their hips
provocatively as their heels clipped along the ground.
I held my head up high as I weaved my way through the crowds of teenagers, my
bag hitting the side of my leg as it swung. Before I had met Jasper, I had found it difficult
to be out by myself. Even walking to the only corner shop we had in Sarratt was an
ordeal for me. I had very little self-esteem, and even though I wasn’t incredibly popular, I
hated being seen as a loner.
But with Jasper on my side, I knew I was never a loner. Even if he weren’t there
with me, I still felt like he was right next to me, with a couple of hundred other people.
With Jasper’s love, I was never alone, as ridiculous as it seems.
My eyes locked on my destination; the dark painted wood with the paint peeling
off seemed incredibly out of date compared to the glass fronts and stainless steel signs of
the shops either side of it. Books lined the window, each and every single last one of
them yellow around the edges, the paper crumpled and old and loved.
This was one of my heavens on earth. An escape I used to have before the days of
Jasper. I came here every weekend, and bought a new book. Well, a new old book. Every
book on sale there didn’t just have the words printed on the page, they had a history, and I
loved that.
The bell hanging above the door tinkled as I pushed it open, the smell of old paper
hitting me with the warm air. The frail woman behind the counter smiled at me in
recognition as I strode towards the back. The bookshelves went from floor to ceiling,
13
every single surface covered in books.

Even though I had been coming here for many years, there had never been anyone
else apart from me and the cashier in there. It was always empty. And that saddened me.
Okay, so being a fairy made me abnormal. In this modern day society, I reckon reading
would make you abnormal, and that I didn’t get. Did people not want to get lost in a
world other than their own anymore?
I ran my fingers along the ageing spines, skipping the fairytales.
I thought about the last time anyone had mentioned being a fairy to me, and found
that they hadn’t really. Not after they had eradicated Petunia. Not once did Mum ask me
to transform or to learn this enchantment, or that spell. Or to practise my flying or to get
my protective bubble out. And I was glad. Before, I had felt so beautiful when I was in
fairy form, but now the thought of it made me feel ugly, inside and out, like a haggard
witch, all twisted and wrinkled and warty. There was nothing good I could now think of
about being a fairy. That was if there was anything I had ever thought in the first place.
I now related everything about fairies and fairy tales to horror stories. Apart from
the Prince bit. That bit was every bit as sweet and lovely as in the tale.
I stopped as my hand reached the end of the aisle and took a step back to look at
the bookshelf ahead of me. I had read almost every single one of these books, bought one
version of it or another at this very same shop from the very same shelf. All except one.
I’d read it in school a few times, but never purchased myself a copy. I had always
felt the need to save it until last. But more recent events has taught me that you never
know what’s coming around the corner. Tragic, but true.
I picked it up off of the shelf without having to look at it twice. It was still in the
same place as it had been the last time I’d came almost a year ago. I walked to the till,
eager to get out and grab a sandwich.
“Romeo and Juliet? I’d have thought you’d already bought that! Not seen you
around here of late. I was beginning to wonder what had happened to you!” Her blue
rinse exaggerated her age. Her skin was baggy, and wrinkly, and incredibly flattering in a
weird way. I loved how she wanted to age properly, not like these new day botox fads.
At least she could age properly. Unlike me. Although the saggy skin and joint
problems were not in the least bit appealing, it was a human experience I was never going
to get. However hard I tried to pretend, I was not human.
“Thanks. No, I’ve been saving it. I’ve read it a few times, but you know how
things go. And thanks for the concern! I was just tied down with school stuff. You’re
looking incredibly well yourself!” I handed over the money, smiling, before I put the
book in my bag and made my way out of the calm and quiet of the shop into the busy
hustle and bustle of the teeming streets.
I felt a few splatters of rain drop onto my nose and rummaged around my bag for
my umbrella. To my disbelief, I’d left it at home. Cursing myself, I ran to the nearest
chemist to get the few things I needed for my holiday with Jasper.
Bournemouth. Supposedly sunny. That meant suntan lotion. We’d run out at
home. I doubted the weather very much. I could sense that it was going to do nothing but
rain, that the sea would swell and wash onto the streets, but how could I bet against Paul
and Tara and their supposed skills when I wasn’t sure how far psychic they were?
“Basket?” A tiny staff member offered me a purple basket, her nose piercing
flashing as the light hit it.
14
I accepted, thanked her and then made me way down the aisles, one after the
other. The make-up aisle. The one aisle I knew nothing about. Well, not much about
anyway. The only thing my mum had ever gotten on me was eyeliner- and that was at a
push. That was followed by the hair care aisle, where I picked up my favourite shampoos
and conditioners, knocking them into the basket skilfully.
I grabbed a couple of body sprays off of the body spray shelf and tossed them in
too, followed by a couple of boxes of paracetamol and a sprain bandage. You never knew
when you were going to need one of those, and with my most recent track record, I
somehow doubted getting out of this trip unscathed.
The queue moved slowly. Excruciatingly slowly. I tapped my foot impatiently as
it crept forward, the sky turning darker and darker outside the window. Much darker, and
I’d have to get someone to pick me up. A pain.
As far as I was aware, Jasper was out with his Dad. Megan couldn’t drive. Mum
and Dad wouldn’t see the point of coming up here to get me when I could drive,
regardless of the fact that they hated me driving in the dark, and there was no one else to
turn to.
I dashed to the counter when it was my turn, willing the sky to turn blue again,
even if it was for just a few minutes. The cashier struggled to get the machine to read the
barcode of the shampoo. She typed the number in repeatedly before calling someone over
to get her another one.
I sighed, still watching the sky was every inch of it turned a menacing grey. The
lady shrugged at me apologetically before wheeling off half a ton of deals and new
products to fill the awkward gap.
A small man soon ran over with another bottle, which went through the machine
easily. I lowered my shoulders into a more relaxed position as I forked over the money
and picked up the bag. Muttering my thanks, I left and re-entered the busy street.
“Lily!” I stopped dead in my tracks and grimaced at the voice.
Shay.
“Hey, Shay.” I turned and saw him leaning lazily against the wall, his jeans
halfway down his bum and his hat exaggerating the size of his head.
“Not seen you in time, girl!” He got up off of the wall and swaggered over before
trapping me in a bear hug.
Of course, I hadn’t seen him in ‘time’. Mainly because he sort of creeped me out.
The way he looked at me was… menacing. I knew he didn’t mean any harm, especially
since I’d know him since we were five years of age, but there had always been something
more. He had crazy eyes, and a crazy attitude. Always the first to start a fight -and end it.
He had as many self-preservation skills as me. Very little. If someone dared him to jump
off a cliff, he would do it, and knowing Shay, he would survive, his hat still perched on
top of his head. Unlike me, who’d be dead or seriously injured.
“Yes. It has been ages. How are you.” I didn’t need to fake excitement about
seeing him. He knew I didn’t want to be talking to him, and he used that against me a lot.
“I’m cool, cool. Been with the boys, ya’know. Reppin’ our ends.” He adjusted his
cap, “You?”
“Nothing much. I passed my driving test, went to Brazil, crazy family stuff. Same
old same old.” I pulled back the sleeve of my left arm, as if I was going to check the time
out. Unfortunately, I had never been the type to wear a watch, so my plan had failed
15
miserably.
“Ah, cool. Still going with that Jasper kid then?” He suddenly looked incredibly
hopeful, his voice turning sour over Jasper’s name.
And then it hit me.
In all the years I had known Shay, he had always been the one popular kid who
had always been nice to me. On the rare occasions I was invited to town with them, he
had been the one to invite me. He had always had this strange anti-Jasper campaign going
on, and refused to talk to anyone who talked to him. Apart from me. During school, he
had always felt the need to be there for me in ‘times of need’. And I hated it. I hadn’t ever
really liked him. And this just made the situation worse.
“Erm, yes. I am actually. We’re going on holiday next weekend. He’s brilliant,
and I don’t know what I would do without him. You got anyone yet then, Shay?” I
changed the subject.
“Where are you going on holiday?” His voice was bitter again, and he ignored my
topic change.
“Bournemouth.” I sighed, reluctant to have to talk about it. I really wanted to get
home.
“Bournemouth? If you were my girl, I’d be taking you to exotic places. Places
where the days never end, yet the nights are long. Bournemouth?” He laughed at the
word as if it were the funniest joke in the world. Ever.
“Yes. Well, I’ve got to get go-”
“Lily!” I rolled my eyes and turned around, my patience levels quickly sinking.
National demand Lily day, much?
“Jasper?” It was Jasper.
He wore a tight white t-shirt, his jeans all torn at the knees. He ran over to me,
placing both hands on my face as he kissed my lips. He then took a step back and eyed
Shay up.
“Shay.”
“Jasper.”
I took a step back and cringed at the bad vibes going on. I could hear the cussing
coming out of Shays head like his thoughts were on loudspeaker. I could feel Jasper’s
gaze tear into my flesh as they tore into Shay’s. And I hated it. I hated them for hating
each other. However creeped out Shay made me feel, he had always been a good friend.
And Jasper. Well I loved Jasper. Unexplainably. Uncontrollably. Effortlessly. Endlessly.
Hopelessly…
“Right, well I’ve got to go.” I snapped back into reality, briskly hugged Shay and
grabbed Jasper by the hand, dragging him down the road. I didn’t stop until I got to my
car, sliding in and starting the engine.
I sped off down the road after Jasper had gotten in, just glad to be alone with
Jasper.
16
Chapter Four
“Did you get everything you needed?” My Mum jumped out of the kitchen and into my
path, blocking my from moving. Her hair was in curlers, which was unusual for her.
“Yes, I did. And I hit the book shop, too.” I walked around her, my plastic bags
crackling as I squeezed through the tiny gap.
“Good good.” She licked a spoon she had gotten out of nowhere, smearing the
chocolate mixture into the creases of the wood.
I stomped up the stairs and entered my room, throwing my bags onto the floor.
“Jazz?” I called as I sat down to take my shoes off.
“Yes?” He appeared next to me on the bed. I hadn’t said a word to him on our
way home, his singing taking up all the empty gaps of him giving up on trying to get me
to talk.
“I thought you were out with your Dad.” I bent down and picked up my shoes
before flinging them across the room to the foot of my wardrobe.
“I was. For a few hours. Apparently, I was too distracted to be of any use to him,
so he sent me off. Not really knowing anyone around Sarratt, I decided to see if I could
hunt you down in Watford. Easy pickings when you smell so good.” He pulled down the
rounded neckline of my jumper ever so slightly and ran his nose along my collar bone.
17
“Jazz, don’t.” I said, lightly smacking his hand off. Sometimes he reminded me of
some sort of animal.
“Aw, jeez. Why not?” He turned my face to look at him, his eyes all puppy-like,
his bottom lip wobbling.
I burst out laughing at him, his lip still wobbling uncontrollably, his eyebrows
raised, until he joined in the laughter too, the peals rippling off of the walls. I wrapped
my arms around him as my body shook, my watering eyes buried into the seams of his t-
shirt. He clamped his hand over my mouth just as he shut up. He kissed the top of my
head quickly.
“I’ll be back in five.”
“No! Don’t go!” I grabbed his wrists and squeezed tight, trapping him to me.
“If you don’t want your Mum to grass on us, you’ll let me go.” I could tell he
didn’t want to go either.
I smoothed his hair back and kissed his cheek before he stood up to go.
“Hide under the bed then. I don’t want you away from me.” I smiled at him and
attempted to look up at him from under my eyelashes.
He flashed a cheeky grin back at me before disappearing to the wardrobe.
“No! Under the bed! Under the bed!” I protested as Mum’s footsteps got louder.
Her hand was now on the door handle, making it rattle.
He vanished underneath the bed just as she pushed the door open.
“What’s under the bed, Lily?” Mum had one eyebrow arched. Her hair was now
out of the curlers and was hanging loose, the ringlets springing around with every move
she made.
“Erm… a book I dropped there earlier.” I began rooting around underneath,
praying that something would be under there. I felt Jasper’s hand close around my wrist,
making me giggle. I blushed as he kissed my hand before shoving a book into it. As I sat
up straight again, I saw Mum’s glare.
“Got it.” I furiously bit my lip, attempting to control my laughter.
“What’s so funny?” Mum asked, obviously thinking I was laughing at her by the
way she began patting her hair.
“There was something tickly under there. I’ll have to clear it out later.” I lied
again as my blushes became more subdued.
“Oh. Well I was going to say that Shay called earlier. He said you bumped into
him in town. Why did you run off so fast? Such a nice lad, he is.” She sat down next to
me on the bed, the mattress sagging even lower than before.
“It was getting dark. You know how I hate driving in the dark. I was going to call
him tomorrow, to see if he wanted to come out with Megan and I.” That one was easy.
Only half of it was a lie.
“But I thought that was a girls day out? Oh, whatever. Just make sure you don’t
go spending all your time with Jasper or just by yourself. Shay has always been there for
you, so be there for him.”
She got up off of the bed and began humming. She meandered out of the room
and disappeared off down the stairs. Crazy.
“Thank God she didn’t see what book I gave you.” Jasper’s lips were at my ear
lobe again, his leg pressing against mine.
“Why?” I asked, having forgotten about the book.
18
“I don’t think she would believe you were looking for an Enid Blyton book. She
knows how much you hate fairytales and silly little kiddie stories.” He kissed the tip of
my nose before putting the book onto my lap.
I frowned in disapproval at the author and lobbed it at the wall, a few loose pages
drifting slowly back down to earth, the power of gravity slightly thwarted due to the
surface area.
“You’re going to need a swimming costume for Bournemouth. Do you have one?”
He flung open my wardrobe, sending the massive pile of randomly dumped stuff at the
bottom cascading to the floor, “Messy.” He then tutted.
“Yes, I think I do. But you know I don’t really like swimming.” I played with my
fingers awkwardly at the thought of Jasper’s beautiful body next to my nothingness.
“You’ll like this swimming. I promise.”
Suddenly, he was in front of me, his fingers tangled up with mine. His skin felt
slightly colder than mine, and for once, his skin was ever so slightly blushed instead of
mine.
“And why did you run off so quickly earlier? I know you haven’t seen Shay in
ages.”
Shay. Shay. Shay.
“He makes me feel uncomfortable. I really did need to leave then anyway. I’ve
got to wash my uniform and plan what I’m taking next weekend, as well as what I’m
wearing tomorrow. You know me.” I walked over to my wardrobe and started forcing
everything back in.
“You? Decide what you’re going to wear? Planning? Are you sure this is Lily
Bumble? Not an alien? Whatever happened to Miss ‘If it’s clean, I’ll wear it’? She’s my
favourite.” He walked up behind me an growled in my ear.
“Lily! Dinner!” Dad yelled up the stairs, his voice aggravated.
I wondered if Mum had told him what had happened in the room, and if he had
sussed it out. Then again, if he had, Jasper wouldn’t be here now, and I would be locked
up in a dark room.
“I’m not hungry, Dad!” I called back down to the irritated grunts of both parents,
their complaining travelling up the stairs.
“That girl. She’s never hungry is she? Oh, she is, but only when she doesn’t have
to go out of her way to get it!”
I rolled my eyes and sunk back in to Jasper, letting his body crush up against
mine. I closed my eyes and let my breathing take over.
“We’re going for a walk.”
“Huh? No, we can’t. Parents will see.” I muttered the words, every bone in my
body begging for sleep.
“We’ll use the window.”
“But I can’t walk!”
“I’ll carry you.”
“Not much of a walk then, is it?” I pointed out.
“Oh well.” Obviously, my arguments were not very interesting to him. He
scooped me up in his arms, just like he had done last night and made sure my head was
tucked into his chest. I didn’t hear or feel anything.
As I cautiously turned my head, I found that I was on the grass outside my house,
19
hidden behind the cars.

Without any sound, he made his way over the gravel and out onto the road. There
were only a few street lights dotting the pavement, since there were only three houses on
the whole stretch of street. I could see the silhouettes of the houses from in-between the
trees, but none of the lights in them were on. The people who lived in both houses were
old, and as far as I knew went to bed as soon as it was dark, never turned their lights on
and had their food delivered to them from meals-on-wheels.
Jasper put me back on the ground and took my hand. Our breath was visible in the
cold air, twisting and turning with the wind that blew around us. Leaves circled the floor
and ran down the gutter, puddles had ripples on the surface going in the direction of the
wind. I shivered and brought myself closer to Jasper, trying to scrounge off of his body
heat.
“Just to the end of the road.” Jasper’s eyes were fixed straight ahead, his arm
tense and rigid.
“Why?” I asked, concerned.
“You’ll see.” He gave my hand a squeeze before stopping to take his jacket off
and fling it over me.
The ‘end’ of my road wasn’t actually the end. It was just the top of the hill, and it
was blind. It looked like the road just stopped in mid-air, that you could fall off the end
into an unknown world.
When I was little, it had scared me, and I had always refused to walk by myself
anywhere near it. It wasn’t until I was 10 and realised that it was just a blind spot that I
went past it.
“Right, close your eyes.” Jasper commanded. I obeyed.
“Actually, I’m going to put my hands over, too.”
He cupped his hands over my eyes, making weird blue patterns visible on the
blackened inside of my lids. He shuffled me forward until he was happy with where I was
standing. He slid one of his hands over both of my eyes, scooping my hair back with his
now free other hand. He quickly kissed the back of my neck, raising the tiny hairs
covering it.
“You may now open them, Lily my love.”
He took a step back and removed his hands. It took me a few seconds to open my
eyes, the light in front of me stinging them.
I gasped.
There was no sky in front of me. It was a moon. A big, dusty orange moon which
filled every inch of the sky up. It felt like I could reach out and touch it, stick my tongue
out and taste it. I felt a strange tingling down my spine, from my neck all the way down
to my bum. I felt enlightened, privileged. I was in awe of the moon, jealous of it.
It looked so beautiful, so perfect. It had seen everything beautiful the world had
ever possessed, and more. Not even all the evil in the world would counteract that. I was
still a firm believer that there was more good than bad.
“Jasper…I…” I couldn’t think of a single thing to say.
I spun around and jumped on him, wrapping my legs round his torso, pressing my
lips all over his face, down his neck, on his hair, before finally mashing our lips together,
his tongue tracing the outline of my lips. He put his hand on my chin and pushed my head
back for a second.
20
“I guess you like it then?” He laughed, unwrapping my legs and swinging me

round onto his back.
I put my chin on top of his head and just rested there staring. It was intense,
unbelievable. Unimaginable. I could see every single nook and cranny, every moon hill
and moon valley. It was unreal.
“Is it real?” I asked, confused by the colour.
“Yes. It’s a harvest moon. The dust kicked up from harvesting crops reflects a
funny colour onto it.” He jumped me a bit further up his back. I pressed my nose into his
hair and inhaled for a second before looking back up at the moon again.
“Why’s it so big?”
“I’m not sure. I’ll look into it. It’s a very weird size, though.” He slid me off of
his back and turned around. The way the moonlight bounced off of his hair was stunning,
the red sheen vivid.
“Let me guess. I’ve got to get home now, right?” I bit my lip and looked down at
the floor, upset that I had to go after such a short period of time.
“Paul said that your parents will wait for fifteen minutes before going upstairs to
get you down. I wouldn’t mind staying here either. Although I could just watch you when
you sleep. That’s better than this.” Again, he picked me up and ran me back to the house
and up through my window before I had even processed what he had just said to me.
“You watch me when I sleep?” I asked, wondering when he ever slept if that was
the case.
“Sometimes. But only if you know that I’m there. Like last night, you were
expecting me.”
“You know, if I had the energy to stay up all night and watch you sleep, then I
would do it, too.” I kissed his cheek as I heard Dad’s angry stomps up the stair case.
“Bye.” He whispered, kissing his fingers before touching them to my lips.
“Bye.” I grabbed his hand and squeezed it, Jasper vanishing only seconds later.
“Lily. Dinner. Now.” Dad hadn’t even bothered to open up my door.
Reluctantly, I obeyed and followed him down the stairs, the smell of lasagne
arousing my taste buds and making me aware of a hunger that was never there before.
I scraped my chair out from under the table and served myself a massive square of
it, wolfing it down ravenously. It took me ages to realise that I hadn’t managed to eat
when I was out earlier, and that I had been living on a slice of plain toast all day.
To my family’s disbelief, I served myself a second helping.
“Not hungry? You seem starved!” Mum fretted.
“I forgot about lunch earlier. Shay took up most of my time.” There. Now if Mum
thought that I had sacrificed my lunch for him, maybe she would give the whole Shay
thing a rest. She had never really cared much before, so why she had started now was
beyond me.
“Well make sure you eat more now. You know what you’re taking to
Bournemouth?”
“Bournemouth?! Why is she going to Bournemouth? Are we going too?!” Roman
spoke up, dropping his fork onto the plate with a clang.
“No. She’s going away with the Tanner’s, sweetheart. Yourself, Tulip, Dad and I
might go to London Zoo or something. A nice little treat.” Mum was playing the fairness
card. She was anti-zoo, so promising her two little darlings a trip to one was major.
21
“But that’s not Bournemouth! We could go surfing! Or crabbing!” Roman wailed,

folding his arms across his chest.
“Yes, Mummy! And maybe there are more fairies in Bournemouth! I want a little
fairy friend! Maybe her name will be Pansy. She will like dancing just as much as me!”
Tulip now joined in the conversation, her face smeared with sauce.
“Darlings, we’ll go on another family holiday when there’s more time. They’re
only going for the weekend! We’ll go somewhere for a week. Until then, we’re going to
go to London.”
“A week! Oh wow! Wait ‘til I tell James that! Score!” Roman balled his fist and
pulled his outstretched arm into him, his face now alive. He obviously thought that trade
was fair.
“Ooh! Goody!” Tulip giggled.
Roman and Tulip spent the next twenty minutes planning where they wanted to go
and what they wanted to do. I finished off my second helping and rinsed off my plate,
Mum and Dad still trying to explain to Tulip why they couldn’t go to the moon to see the
moon people and teach them how to do ballet, or why they couldn’t buy a pet llama for a
week, since they cost too much and needed to walk a thousand miles every day, otherwise
they eat their owners.
I silently slunk off upstairs and went to the bathroom and had a shower. As I lay
down in bed later, I couldn’t help but wonder how many times Jasper had watched me
sleep, and if he would be coming tonight. I lay there, thinking about the moon, until I
drifted off to sleep, the nightmare returning and ruining my momentarily pleasant dreams.
22
Chapter Five
I forced my eyes open as the thing in front drew his teeth nearer to my neck.
I could hear the blood pulsing behind my ears louder than usual, and my forehead
was covered in the same clammy sweat that it had been for the past few nights. My
curtains were drawn shut, the only light entering my room from the tiny gap at the top
and the space between the bottom of my door and the floor.
My clock read 10 am.
I rolled over and got up out of bed and slid into some clothes. I quickly ran the
brush through my knotty and entangled hair before making my way downstairs.
The house seemed unusually quiet for a Sunday morning. Usually you could hear
Mum carving up some meat, Dad watching some sport, Tulip practising her dancing and
Roman practising his guitar, but today, there was nothing.
I ran down the stairs and into the kitchen, and popped some bread into the toaster.
I looked around for a note or another form of indication of where they had gone.
A single pink post-it note clung onto the fridge’s white door. Mum had used a
magnet on the corner to make sure it stayed on the fridge. The corners were curled up,
revealing the top corner of the photo underneath it.
“Gone to watch Roman’s football match. The date was changed, and now there
isn’t one next week. We won’t be back until about 1, so have fun with Megan. Love you
x.”
I slapped my hand to my forehead. Megan.
I looked at the time again just before the toast popped up. It read ten minutes past
ten, which gave me an hour and a half to kill.
And I knew exactly how to kill it.
I didn’t bother to butter my toast, I began eating it plain. I ran back up the stairs
23
and into my room, searching for my book bag.

After scattering crumbs all over my floor, I found it, the green plastic blending in
with the dark desk it was leant against. I flung the curtains open before dumping the
contents of the bag onto the bed. I picked up the book, and began reading it, the soothing
smell of old book relaxing every muscle in my body.
I sunk down into my bed and began reading, the prologue sticking in the forefront
of my mind as in the movie, religious symbolism and family disputes flooding my head
and extracting me from the real world.
The more I read, the more engrossed I became. The more I read, the more I
realised how foolish Romeo and Juliet actually were - that they were nothing more than
teenagers with more lustful needs than brains. To marry a stranger seemed a ludicrous
idea. The thought of me having to marry Jasper now, even though I’d known him for
what felt like forever, seemed a ludicrous idea.
I forced myself to put the book down for a second to look at the time, and boy,
had it flown. It was now 11:30, and if I didn’t leave soon I was going to be late.
I picked up my bag and flew to the staircase. I put one of my legs over the
banister and sat on it, sliding down to the bottom as if I were eight again. I checked my
reflection in the mirror and patted all my pockets before I grabbed my keys off of the
table by the door and rushed out to my car, shining so eagerly in the sun.
The drive to Megan’s was shorter than I had expected. I beeped her as soon as I
got there, her long hair blowing manically in the wind. She paused and held her finger up,
flicked something off her wrist and wrapped it around her hair.
“Lily!” She squealed when she jumped in the passengers side.
“Megan!” I tried to equal her enthusiasm, hoping that I wasn’t too transparent.
“Oh, Lily! Sam and I broke up!” She buckled up and turned her body to face me,
her eyes deadly serious.
“Oh, God! Why? Who ended it?” I asked, knowing how upset she would be.
Secretly I was relieved that maybe I would get my Megan back. The gore-obsessed,
serious girl who always had a sarcastic or truthful answer for everything.
“Well, I ended it funnily enough, although I don’t know why. I really miss him,
Lils. He keeps ringing and ringing, but for some reason I’m not answering my phone. I
don’t understand!” Her voice broke on understand, a series of snivels escaped her body.
“Megs.” I sighed and rubbed her back until she sat up again, dabbing her eyes.
“It’s okay. I’ll sort it out later. I’ll ring him as soon as we get back.” She turned
her body so it was straight again as I pulled out of the driveway.
When I looked at her closely, I could see she had been crying for days. Her eyes
were sunken deeply, heavy bags lying underneath them. Her hair looked like it hadn’t
been washed in a few days, either, and she hadn’t paid any attention to what she was
wearing. The shorts and t-shirt, although not suitable for this weather, were definitely not
suitable for the rink.
“So, how’s college?” I asked, hoping that this would start something up.
“Ok. Work?” She dismissed that one before it had even started.
“My boss is a pain in the arse. Literally. He looks like some mad scientist who
only eats once a year. For such a thin, non-threatening looking man, he has a hell of a set
of pipes on him.” I began scanning the road for a free space.
“Ouch. You getting much pay?” Megan now seemed more interested, her ears
24
pricking up at the sound of something worse in someone else’s life than in hers. Her eyes
were following the trees as we drove past, flicking backwards and forwards when it got
too far behind her to watch anymore.
“Not really. It’s minimum wage plus tips. I work from 10 ‘til 5 with a fifteen
minute lunch break. I call it slavery to be honest.” I turned off the motorway and down a
side road and neatly reversed into a compact space, just avoiding bumper contact with the
car behind.
“Glad I went to college then! I just sit around all day, not paying attention. Half
the time I don’t go to lessons. They’re not really fussed. Although we have this one
teacher, he’s nuts. Literally. He has really scary eyebrows, big and fluffy. He always
manages to look shocked. Oh, and I really want to wax his arms. He always leans on the
projector when it’s on, and it always projects every single little hair sticking up. It’s
gross. I don’t eat breakfast on a Tuesday, ‘coz I have him first thing. But he has the worst
attitude in the world. One minute he’s fine, just his normal boring self, and the next he’s
having a right go, kicking everyone who breathes at the wrong time out of his class.
Forget about learning in his lessons. If you survive one without being kicked out, then
you must not be visible.” She followed me as we walked up the path, the music from the
rink blaring.
“Jeez! That bad? Maybe my boss and your teacher are related.” I held the door
open for Megan as she chewed over the idea.
“Maybe! That would be weird, wouldn’t it!”
We gave our money to the boy behind the counter. He looked even younger than
me. We grabbed our tokens and went over to the skates counter, the chill from the rink
already hitting the bone.
The icy surface was mainly occupied by other teenagers, some trying to pull their
friends down or nervously clinging on to the sides, whilst others were taking photos of
their mates wet bums or rubbing their sore ankles. There were very few people of any
other age group there, and in the occurrence of such a rarity, they were cordoned off in
the corner by people zooming past them, their faces frozen in a state of shock, their
body’s glued to the side.
I clambered noisily onto the ice holding Megan’s hand. I pulled ourselves around
on the edge until we were on the opposite side, where we stood for a few minutes, trying
to pick out any familiar faces.
“Rude!” Megan exclaimed as she got sprayed in the face by someone grinding to
a halt just inches away from her. The rude boy just stuck a finger up at her before
whizzing off again.
“Seen anyone you know yet, Megs?” I asked as she used her sleeve to dry her
face.
“No one other than Shay. Oh, and Sam.” She leant back on the rail and began
biting her lip again, staring at the millions of scratches on the icy surface.
I looked around for them, surprised I hadn’t seen them. And since when did Sam
know Shay? The DJ announced happy hour, and the main lights dimmed so they were
almost off, blinding streaks of colourful light taking its place. Heavy techno and dance
music vibrated the floor, the puddles of water reaching further out, desperate for rink
domination.
“Oh, Megan. I’m sorry. Do you want to go? Or talk to him? Should I do
25
something?” I gave her a quick hug and waited for her reply.
“No. No. I’ll sort it out later.” She slid slightly away from the edge and
outstretched her arms to me, “Just like the good old days. Come on!”
I grimaced at her effort to be happy and normal, how see-through the act was. We
had come to this ice skating rink when we were younger, before it had got a Pimp-My-
Ride-Type makeover. I slid out to meet her grasp, and we slid around the ice, spinning
and twirling gracefully as if we were professionals. At least I think we looked like
professionals.
On the one occasion we did fall over, it was because Megan was surreptitiously
looking over at Sam. He and Shay were having a ‘dance off’ in the corner with another
couple of boys, their beanie hats perched right on top of their head. Megan hadn’t seen
the boy in front of her, and although I called out to warn her, she didn’t have any time to
stop. As she fell, she grabbed my jacket, sending me to the ground too. I was soaked, she
was soaked and the poor boy she knocked over was soaked too.
“What d’you do that for? Look where you’re going. Bitch.” Snarled the boy,
getting right into Megan’s face as soon as we had managed to get up off the floor.
“Sorry. Accident.” She muttered, shrinking away nervously. She fiddled with her
ponytail.
“Too right! But sorry isn’t enough this time, girl-” He fell to the floor, back first,
the state of shock registering on his face.
“What did you just call her?”
Megan looked up and saw Sam, his house-like frame looming over the boy, his
face fierce. Shay was standing behind him, slapping his thigh whilst laughing and jeering.
Sam grabbed the boy and pulled him up, before walking him into the corner.
“Sam! Don’t!” Megan cried as the boy raised his hands in a sign of giving up.
I could hear a few words over the music, “…girlfriend…sorry…mistake…
money…”
I felt sorry for him as Sam pulled his fist back, the veins bulging from his once
skinny arms. Wow, had he buffed up in the past few months!
“Sam!” Megan skated over and pulled him back whilst Shay slid over to the other
side of the boy to get a better view.
“I beg you, Sam! Leave it!”
Sam turned to look at Megan. All the ferocity from his face as he had leant over
the boy had melted, a weird, soppy goo and soft eyes taking its place.
“Sam, I’m sorry. I… I don’t even know what to say…” Megan began to shrink
back into herself.
“Megan, I get it.” He wrapped his arms around her waist before plating a kiss on
her forehead. She put her ear to his chest and closed her eyes.
“Great.” I said out loud, “So now I’m a loner. Fantastich!” I had hated German,
but had found that it sometimes came in handy. Like when you were abandoned. When
you pretended to know another language, the world was your oyster. Or maybe I was just
kidding myself, and trying to make myself look like I was sophisticated enough to ice-
skate by myself.
“By yourself? Girl, you’re kidding me, right? You got me!” His teeth glowed
pinky-red under the neon light of which I was positioned beneath.
“Shay, I’ve got to go soon I think. I’m just going to speak to Megan-”
26
“Go? Again? Not Jasper. I tell you, he’s trying to control you. Everything you do,
I bet he’s watching you. Sick! That’d make some sick rhyme! You’re a star, Lily!” He
pulled me into a welcoming bear hug, one of which I quickly tried to worm my way out
of. His enthusiasm scared me. It was like he was constantly high, and I really didn’t need
anyone like that with a permanent place in my life.
As soon as I was free, I went over to Megan who was standing in the corner with
Sam. Although her eyes were focused on the ice, I knew that there was nothing other than
him and her in that world. I knew exactly how she was feeling.
“Megan, do you want me to go? I’ve got half a ton of stuff to do before work
tomorrow, I know you want to catch up with Sam.” I really wanted to hit the milkshake
bar quickly before I left the area. The toast hadn’t been a very big meal and I could feel a
hole begin to develop in my stomach.
“If you want. Don’t feel obliged to go! I love you to bits, Lily! You can hang out
with us! We were going to start making a move to the milkshake bar in a minute. We
were just going to go over and get yourself and Shay.” She blushed, making her
seemingly nice words seem nothing more than an obvious lie. She hadn’t been thinking
about me at all.
“You know, I might just go. My hands are red raw now, anyway.” I quickly
hugged her, smiled at Sam and slid off to the exit.
I rubbed my sore ankles as I took the loaned skates off, trying to keep myself calm
from the abandonment I had just suffered. It was, of course, to be expected, but it still
wasn’t nice to experience. I knew that if Jasper had turned up, I would have gone off with
him hands down. I glanced back over at Megan, who was now in a full embrace with
Sam, looking like it was going to take them hours to move. Shay was showing off his
skating skills in front of a crowd of girls, none of which looked impressed.
“Thank you. Come back soon.” Winked the spotty man behind the counter, his
bangs greasy and glistening under the light.
He obviously didn’t need an ego boost. I tried to smile at him, but I painfully felt
it screw up on my face. It probably ended up lopsided, upside down, back to front,
whatever. I could tell that it didn’t look nice or natural.
I turned the heating right up in my car, placing my hands in front of the blowers
for a few minutes before putting on my seatbelt. I could feel the blood in my finger tips
melt and trickle down back into normal flow.
I drove the short distance between the rink and the ‘shake bar in a few minutes,
filling the only remaining space in the whole car park. My car slid off in to silence as I
removed the keys and threw them into my bag.
Usually, the bar was heaving with people, again mostly teens, all ordering floats
and banana splits like they had just arrived out of the Grease movie. Today, being Sunday,
catered to an older audience, and I found myself to be the only person of obvious living
age around. Even the items on the wall were younger than the customers.
“A vanilla ‘shake to take away, please.”
I counted out the correct amount of change before sliding it to the man in a biker
jacket behind the counter. I hoped his false moustache wouldn’t fall off and into my
drink, or anyone else’s for that matter. The bar staff were different on a Sunday. Whereas
during the week or on a Saturday, they were all funky, young people who popped gum as
they made your order, on a Sunday they took their time and looked out of place and over
27
worked.
Someone turned the jukebox on, the crazy lights around the edge of it flashing. I
heard a lady complain that her split didn’t have enough sprinkles on, and that the road
sign stapled to the wall next to her was slightly wonky.
I laughed to myself as the man called out my order. I picked it up and left, sucking
on the straw trying to get the stubborn creamy-white to move. As soon as I managed to
get any, brain freeze hit, my fists clenched up and my face squeezed itself together as the
sharp pain began to subside.
On the short distance back to the car, my mind began reeling over everything I
had coming up, or had experience today.
Abandonment. Holidays. Work. Love. Arguments. Happiness. Abandonment
again. How was I going to go on holiday with Jasper and fool my Dad into thinking Paul
and Tara were there? And how was I going to control my behaviour once we were
completely alone together with no risk of being found out?
What would we do? It’s too cold to go swimming, regardless of what Jasper says.
The funfair closes after the summer holidays, the old people begin to flock there on their
cheap yearly holiday, reminiscing about the days when the seagulls only used to eat
chips, not real life human children, and telling random passers by about how they got
changed “on that spot there. There used to be a changing room you know! Not allowed to
show our ankles, unlike you rude youngsters!”
As if I care about the spot where your changing room was. As if I care that the
seagulls now eat small children. As if I care.
All I cared about was not being found out and my acting skills. I could sense that I
was going to find this short break away hard to swallow, and I needed to practise
pretending to enjoy it.
The only plus side I could see for it was Jasper. Me and Jasper. Jasper and I. Us.
Together.
28
Chapter Six
“How was the football match?” I asked as soon as I had one foot in the door.
It had barely passed four, and I didn’t want many questions on why I was home so
early.
“We won!” Roman jumped out from nowhere, still muddy and in his kit,
springing around and screaming and knocking things over and just generally creating a
mess. I smiled at his eagerness and congratulated him, giving him a quick hug - quick
since he jumped out of it before I had much of a chance to end it - and a high five.
“How many goals?” I asked, hoping that I would have that natural spark of
interest I should have in my eyes.
“We won 5-nil! 5-nil! And I scored two of them!” He jumped out of my sight and
into the front room. I could hear the sofa groaning as Roman jumped onto it heavily, still
chanting the winning score.
“He played brilliantly! We are so proud!” Beamed Mum as she dried her favourite
coffee mug, “And why are you home so early?” Her eyebrow arched and she stopped
drying the cup. She lazily threw her hand onto her hip, the tea towel hitting her legs.
“Megan bumped into Sam. So, since he’s her boyfriend, I got the dump. But don’t
worry, I had fun.” I hung my jacket up on the hanger and dumped my keys on the table. I
caught my reflection in the hallway mirror and brushed through my fringe with my
fingers.
“That’s awful! I hope you wouldn’t have done the same if Jasper turned up!
Speaking of Jasper, he rang you earlier. Cup of tea? Did you fall over much? Who else
was there?”
I declined the cup of tea and quickly relayed the events of the past few hours,
missing out the confrontation/fight situation. I knew she wouldn’t approve of Sam if she
found out about that, but that she wouldn’t approve of Shay even more for laughing. I
toyed with the idea of telling her briefly, knowing that the likelihood of Mum and Sam
ever meeting would be slim, and that then maybe she would give me a break about Shay,
but gossip Mum isn’t always the best Mum. I didn’t want Megan’s parents getting
freaked that she had a violent boyfriend or anything -even if he was fighting to protect
her.
As soon as I had finished speaking, she wondered off again in her dazed state,
29
back to the usual spot under the window where she always seemed to go off to. I grabbed
the phone off the hook and took it upstairs to my room, tapping in Jasper’s number. This
brought back the memory of Mum’s fingers faltering over the keypad as we tried to call
his house after we realised what danger he was in. I could still feel the exact atmosphere
in the room, feel the same wash of fear and loss and heartbreak and a thousand other
things that I had at that moment. The memory hurt like being stung by a million bees over
every single inch of your body.
“You don’t need to ring.” His hands slid around from my waist to my tummy,
raising the same goose bumps he always did when he touched me.
“Right.” I choked out as my heart rate increased. The thudding in my chest was
even more obvious to him. God bless mutant skills! Not.
“Tell your heart to calm down. I don’t want you to have a heart attack.” He kissed
my shoulder, making it pump harder.
“I don’t think fairies can get heart attacks.” I whispered, turning around so I was
facing him.
“Good. You’re not scared of planes are you?” His eyes were intense, my reflection
standing out in his pupil.
“Obviously not. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here now.” I frowned, placing one
hand on my hip.
“Ah, yes. Brazil. We must holiday there some other time. But Lily, next time,
don’t bring the evil Great-Aunt.” His lips curved at the end to make a smile.
“Excuse me?” I asked, annoyed at his joke. Everything in the room dropped to a
black, but the outline of Jasper’s body was highlighted. My brand new firing line. My
heart rate returned to normal in an instant, if anything, pumping slightly less than normal.
How could he think making Petunia related to me would be funny? The freak
tried to kill me! And to kill him! How dare he even think of mentioning any sort of
relation that was no way there in the first place. If she were to have been my aunt, I’d
have disowned her and her evil offspring, blanked her, killed her even!
“What?” His smile faded as what he had just said clicked.
“You seem to joke that we are related.” I said it outright, just to make sure he had
got it, “Tell me, Jasper Tanner, which parts of her resemble me? Is it the grotesque
attitude? The fact that I am willing to sacrifice my family? Maybe we look the same, or
smell the same. I mean, eau de death seems incredibly appealing to me. Oh, no! I know
what it is. It’s because I look like I’m having a seizure every time I go from being a
human to being a fairy. Or maybe we have the same weird upturned nose. Tell me, Jasper.
What is the family trait?” My teeth were gritted and my fists were clenched. I deliberately
took three steps backwards and pushed hard into the desk, the rough edge cutting in to
my skin.
“Lily?” Jasper took a step forward. I raised a shaking finger up to him in warning.
“Stay. Away.” I growled between two gigantic breaths.
“Look, Lils. I’m sorry. You know I wouldn’t-” He had his hands out and was
shaking his head apologetically.
“You just did! You just did, Jasper!” I was now beginning to get toothache from
the extreme pressure I was putting on my jaw line.
“Lily! You know I would never mean it! I just didn’t think! And, for the record,
you smell more like a flower shop than death. And when you transform, you look like
30
you’re from another planet. Maybe something celestial.”

“Thanks.” I hissed sarcastically. I could feel tiny spots of blood form on my back.
“And I don’t know what I have done to deserve you. Every second of every day, I
am left wondering why, and how, and for how long. Every time I look in your blue eyes
-or violet. It depends - I can see something in there that scares me. You look so dead set
on me. But what if I’m the wrong choice for you? There is no way, shape or form that I
am good enough for you, regardless of my ‘magical’ abilities. I’m never going to be in
the same league.”
I eased my stance away from the desk. Jasper had walked backwards and thrown
himself on my bed, his hands glued to his forehead, his eyes shut tight. There was pain on
his mesmerizing face.
“Wrong way round, Jazz.” I whispered, before sliding up next to him.
Never before had I thought about what he felt about me. Then again, I had never
felt the need. In my eyes, Jasper was the sun whereas I was Pluto. He was always brighter
than me, with everything he ever said or did, with anything he wore or made. Somehow,
he had always made it ten times better than me. Never before had I thought that maybe I
seemed better than him in some obscure way. Maybe his insecurities with me lay in what
I knew about myself and he didn’t. Whatever they were, I knew he probably wasn’t going
to tell me straight away.
“I live every day wondering when you’re going to wake up and realise you can do
better. You have every girl in the immediate area groaning after you, doing all they can
just to be in your life for a fraction of a second. And then you’re so clever, and I don’t get
why you haven’t decided to go to college. When are you going to wake up and realise
that you want to go instead of sitting around all day waiting for me?”
I lay on my side, my head propped up on my elbow, fiddling with his hair in my
spare hand. His eyes were fixed up at the ceiling, probably staring at every flaw in the
paint.
“Lily Bumble. You are some sort of crazy. Every girl? More like the ones who
‘don’t know that I think I‘m now in for the long run.” He whispered before rolling over
on top of me, his hands sliding down to my waist.
I shuddered at his words. ‘The long run.’ Commitment was a big thing, and I
wasn’t sure if I were ready enough to make any sort of step bigger than what was
happening now. And we were only discussing our feelings after an argument. Not exactly
the most life changing thing.
“So, we’re flying to Bournemouth then?” I couldn’t help but smile at my
surreptitious conversation change and the insane elatedness which now filled his face. If
it made him happy to think of the long run, then I was going to let him. Even though I
hated to admit it, I knew he was my long run, too. I just didn’t want to make it public for
some time yet.
“Yes we are. First class. Aren’t we a lucky fairy?” He tapped the end of my nose
with his finger.
“Jasper. How much is that going to cost?” I tried to arch my eyebrow like Mum
did, but I knew it failed abysmally when he tried his hardest to stifle a laugh.
“None of your business. My fairy deserves only the best! I would wine you and
dine you on nothing but caviar and the finest wine if you would only allow me to. Plus if
you agreed with eating fish products. That would help too…” This time, he kissed the tip
31
of my nose, making it send off an electric shock to my brain.

“But I wouldn’t allow you. I’d rather eat out of bins than be wined and dined on
that stuff! Unless I’d earned the money for it myself.” I added, hoping that Jasper would
pick up on it.
“A waitress job? Caviar? Since when could you get that in the same sentence?”
He rolled over, taking me with him.
“Since now.” I giggled and stuck my tongue out at him.
He licked it.
“Ew!” I exclaimed, quickly retracting it.
The jovial sound of Jasper’s laugh shook the room and the bed as he began
rubbing my cheeks in circles with his thumbs. I still had the startled look on my face from
when he had licked my tongue.
“What did you want me to do? Bite it?” He asked, kissing my collar bone.
“Yes. I want you to bite it.” My voice was monotone.
“Really?! Can I do that? I’ve always wondered what you taste like!” He playfully
roared and bit my earlobe gently.
“No! Of course not!” I kissed both of his eyelids before yawning.
“Tired?”
I found myself on my back on the bed next to him. I had only closed my eyes to
blink! Jeez, he was fast!
“Yes. Eventful day.” I yawned again and snuggled down into the familiar crevice
of Jasper.
“What happened? I thought you were going ice skating and then to the milkshake
bar.” He kissed my hair.
“Well, I went to the milkshake bar. At first, Megan and I were skating. She’d
broken up with Sam. As we were skating, we spotted Sam and Shay. Megan then knocked
this kid over, who got really pissed with us, and decided to start something. Sam, like a
true hero, stepped in and tried to save the day. He would’ve succeeded if it wasn’t for
Megan going ‘No, Sam! Don’t!’. But long story short, Megan then dumped me for Sam,
Shay then saw it as an advantage to get one to one with me again, so I decided to go and
get my milkshake fix.”
“Now, that is an eventful day. Hmm. Shay.” He grumbled disapprovingly, “Want
to know what I did?” He took my hand in his and raised them up, looking at the perfect
way they joined from every angle.
“What?” I asked, my eyes now closed.
“Watched TV.” He chuckled.
I listened to the sound of it, enchanted by it. I felt myself drifting off to the sound
of it, my hand still raised in the air.
And then it dropped. My hand dropped and hit the mattress noisily, springing
back and landing once again. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, and he was gone.
I frowned, irritated that he hadn’t given me any warning of his departure. I
couldn’t hear any footsteps on the stairs, and Roman’s wild chanting was still rumbling
around the house. I could just about hear Mum and Dad in the kitchen shuffling around
and cooking dinner, and I knew that Tulip would be colouring on the kitchen table whilst
talking to them. There was no reason to have gone.
“Fine.” I huffed, folding my arms furiously.
32
I got up off the bed and went to the bathroom for a quick shower. After that was done I
dried my hair until there was not a single curl left, my hair instead forming a dark, silky
curtain. I pulled my iPod out of my bag and turned it on before scrabbling around for my
book.
I took the bookmark out and threw myself onto the bed, the headboard angrily
hitting the wall, adding another chip to the ancient paint work. I let my mind wonder as I
absorbed the old fashioned world where everything was so much different, yet made
much more sense than today.
A world where they believed in ‘mythical’ creatures. Where fairies were trusted
and believed in like people these days follow religion.
I couldn’t help myself from thinking. If fairies exist, then what about bad things?
What if those vampire-like things from my dream really did exist? The world couldn’t
just balance on good, could it? There has to be some way to sort out the natural balance
of the world. So if fairies exist, and Jasper exists, then maybe vampires, witches,
werewolves, zombies and dragons existed, too. Maybe, like fairies, they were all there
trying to hide their existence from a world full of people who are scared to see the bigger
picture.
I felt something tighten around my wrist again as in my dream as the vivid mental
image of the things in the woods came back in to mind. Their orange eyes burned into
mine as a stray moonbeam hit their teeth.
If I was real, then maybe they were, too.
33
Chapter Seven
“So, that’s one all day breakfast, a plate of toast and two orange juices?” I re-read the
little squiggles I had marked down on my notes sheet.
“Yes, that’s all, thanks.” The stout man’s round glasses exaggerated his already
circular face. His sable moustache shook as he coughed into a hanky that he whipped out
of his pocket, weird grease-stains forming funny patterns all over it.
I ran off and gave the order to the cook before whipping my apron off and
grabbing my bag and hat from the tiny ‘staffroom’. It was more of a box than a staffroom.
It had a broken coffee machine that was ‘going to be fixed soon’, three rickety wooden
chairs that were too dangerous to sit on, and a coat rack.
“Bye, Molly.” I called over my shoulder, glad my day was over. My feet were
killing me, my back hurt, and I had gained very little on the tip front today.
The gentleman had been the last customer in the shop, and since Molly had to
work late anyway, she was letting me go. As I pulled open the shop door and made my
way out onto the street, I shivered from the chilling wind which scattered the leaves
around me.
It was Wednesday, the day before my trip to Bournemouth with Jasper. A trip of
which I was still dreading, no matter how much Jasper tried to assure me over the past
few days.
My bag was haphazardly dumped on the back seat of my car, bursting at the
seams. I was supposed to be leaving incredibly early in the morning at a time that I never
knew existed. As far as I was concerned, it wasn’t supposed to exist, unless it was an
emergency. Dad had suggested - surprisingly - that I should spend the night over at
Jasper’s just to make sure I would definitely be awake.
“You’re early.”
Jasper was leaning against my car, rubbing his hands together and blowing on
them harshly, eager for them to warm up. They were red from the cold, as was his nose. I
quickly kissed it before unlocking the car and letting him in. He jumped in and pushed
his hands up against the cold blowers, waiting patiently for me to turn them on.
“Molly let me out early. She knew how excited I was. She did the whole young
love speech. You know, this Robert she talks to eagerly about from when the ‘fields were
green’, seems like the right sort of guy for her.” I had lied about the excited bit, but the
lecture on young love… True.
I could just imagine her standing at the bus stop, waiting for Robert to meet her,
an illegal fag stuck between her red-painted lips, shivering in her leather miniskirt in the
wind that howled through the bus shelter, her bleached hair whipping her face.
I turned the blowers right up so they were giving out a skin-melting heat, and got
ready to put the car in to gear.
“Nope. I’m driving.” Jasper had whipped off his jacket and was unbuckling his
34
belt.
I looked up at him, confused.
“What? I thought I was going to drive?”
“Nope. You were. But I’ve changed my mind. You see, since your Dad has said
so, the holiday officially starts here. Therefore, unbuckle yourself and swap sides with
me, or I’ll have to do it for you.” His eyes were once again glistening with the mischief
that I so loved. I was finding it hard to break my gaze or to say anything.
“Fine.” He said, unbuckling my belt and switching sides with me before I had
even registered the foremost action.
As he pulled out of the car park, I folded my arms with frustration. There had
been no verbal agreement that I had to drive, but there hadn’t been a verbal agreement to
stop me from driving my car.
“Don’t adjust the seat.” I chortled as I saw his knees bent up to his chin, his arms
having to reach in between his legs to get a decent grip on the steering wheel. He scowled
at me and reached for the handle under the seat, shooting it as far back as it would go,
sending his head to rush backwards and smack the headrest.
“I should have driven, yes?” I laughed as he rubbed his head.
Somehow he had managed to keep moving and going in a straight line as all of
that had happened. Somehow, although he had one of his eyes closed, he was remaining
on the same path he had been with both eyes open. Somehow, he looked just as hot when
his face was scrunched up with pain as it did when he was smiling his mischievous grin.
“You even look good when you’re in pain.” I put my right hand on his knee and
squeezed gently, wishing that he weren’t driving. I had other things in mind…
“No, Lily. Wait. In another 20 minutes you’ll be at my house. Then, we have free
reign. I was thinking maybe we could watch Countdown reruns and then watch the
football highlights,” His eyes were fixed on me, and dancing yet again, “or we could do
what you want to do. Whatever that may be.”
My forehead creased as he managed to read my mind and then ruin my plans with
talks about TV. That was the furthest thing from my mind, unless it was a gory horror
movie where I could hide behind Jasper and bury my head into him… his auburn hair
obscuring the view, but it wouldn’t matter. I was that close to him…
“Lily? You on this planet? What’s up with you? You’re always off with the
fairies.”
I snapped out of my daydream and thumped him in the chest at his awful pun.
“Sorry. No pun intended.” He took both hands off of the steering wheel and raised
them at me, apologising for his crap joke.
“Sure. I was thinking more horror movie than sports. Or maybe you could give
me another music lesson.” I winked at him a wink that he returned back in a more
exaggerated style, stretching his open eye as wide open as possible and making his mouth
into the shape of an ‘o’.
“Or, I could just kill you now, Jasper.” I could feel my blood begin to boil. It was
enough that I was being forced on a holiday that I didn’t really want to go on without
having the Mickey taken out of me all the time.
“Good luck with that one.” His humorous mood changed. I could almost see the
blue sky that filled the car, regardless of the sky outside, turn into the deepest black.
“What do you mean?” I asked, afraid of his latest mood.
35
“As far as we know, we’re almost indestructible.” I could see his knuckles
threatening to tear through his pale skin as he gripped the steering wheel, the plastic
groaning at the force being put on it.
“You know what? Don’t remind me. And why is that a bad thing? I wish I was
indestructible. I mean, look at me. I try to save an indestructible person only to find that I
am knocked out in the first 10 minutes. I’m useless.”
I reached for the hand rest on the door and squeezed it tight as the car began to
pick up speed, each tree blurring into the next, making a thick green and brown strip
down the side. The only thing I could make out were the odd flashes of streetlight as they
alternated between height.
“If you were to go, I’d have an incredibly hard time of getting myself to go, too.”
I saw him push his foot down harder on the pedal. My car whined as it struggled to get
over 100.
“Don’t talk rubbish! You’d never kill yourself for me, or at least I’d like to think
you wouldn’t!” My eyes were now closed - just the sound of how fast the car was moving
was enough to make me queasy.
“But you would risk yourself for me. How is that fair, Lily? You were willing to
die for me, yet you wouldn’t let me kill myself to be with you forever?” He slammed on
the breaks and we skidded to a halt, the sound of his gravelled drive grinding beneath us.
“Yes.” I muttered, slowly opening one eye.
In one swift movement, Jasper had gotten out of the car and thrown the keys into
my lap. He walked halfway to the door before turning to me and raising his eyebrows. I
sat there, my mouth dropped open, my eyes wide in disbelief. I had hit a nerve ending,
and that was something I don’t think I had ever done with Jasper. And I was worried. I
had never known Jasper to be the type to get so angry over so little. There seemed no
logical reason to his frustration that I could see.
I got out of the car and locked it, slowly making my way up to the now open door.
My eyes were fixed on the gutter of the house. I had to spend a whole four days with him,
and already I had managed to irritate him. This could put the already torturous idea into
complete and utter jeopardy. I could only hope that he would snap out of it.
When I entered his hallway he was standing in the dark in front of the mirror,
staring down at his shoes. I walked as silently as I could up behind him before putting my
hands on his hips. I reached up on my tiptoes so I could reach his ear.
“Jasper, I’m sorry. I love you.” I stroked his hair before kissing the ends of it, my
head just about reaching that height even though it stretched its hardest.
“Lily. Shut up.” His voice was light-hearted again, although his face was still
sullen. He smiled, but it didn’t get past the tip of his nose. His eyes remained angry and
cold and distant. Odd for Jasper. His once green eyes with all the movement of the ocean
had frozen over.
I took a step back and smoothed my hair down, unsure of where to look or what to
do. Should I speak? Should I stay silent?
Jasper answered that for me.
He slammed the door shut just as he grabbed me and swung me against it and put
his mouth to mine, his beautiful body pushing me hard into the wooden door. There was
something there that had never been there before -a sense of desperation as he inched the
bottom of my top up slightly, and began stroking my tummy, his soft fingers making me
36
shudder.
My heart felt like it was just in one continuous beat instead of in a rhythm, the
pace so fast that they had all blended into one glorious movement. I wanted to tell Jasper
that he could have it. He could surgically remove it from me now, and I wouldn’t suffer. I
had the weird sensation of being invincible when we were this close.
I knotted my fingers in his hair as he grabbed my legs and wrapped them around
his waist. He carried me up the stairs and into his room without a hint of a stumble, even
though he was still kissing me.
He smacked the light switch on and threw me onto the bed. I landed with a soft
bump as I hit the numerous cushions randomly scattered on it - cushions that had never
been there before.
“Actually…” He stood at the end of the bed, staring at me, his face scrunched up
with deep thought, “Lights off.” For once he took his time walking, the slowness causing
excruciating pain.
“Why? Am I that horrible to look at?” I joked, hammering the pillow behind my
head, longing to get back to where we just were.
“No. You’re perfect.” He was now standing back at the end of the bed, his eyes
still looking me up from head to toe, a strange look in his eyes - desire mixed with pain
and unpredictability, “Besides, it sets the mood.”
Butterflies raged in my tummy, bouncing at my fleshy walls to escape. There had
been so many times when I had felt lightening running through my body, but right then,
there was a whole storm going on in there, the thunder the booming of my heart, the rain
the nervous sweat forming on my hairline.
Jasper broke his gaze for a second and walked over to his shelf, pulled four or five
books off and threw them to the floor. Each thump as they landed woke my senses up
more, made me more nervous, more excited. For a fairy, I was becoming increasingly
human.
I closed my eyes and began to count each time I inhaled and exhaled, trying to
calm myself. I needed to control the tempest raging in me, to keep it under wraps.
However much I hoped that he was going to do what I wanted him to, somehow I didn’t
think he’d ever break his promise to my Dad. At least not until we were married or living
together or something.
“Open it.” I felt a something being thrust in my hand and Jasper’s warm breath
tickling my neck, his sweet breath filling my lungs and sending me into an ever so brief
daze.
I opened my eyes and looked at the long, wooden, oblong box in my hand. The
tempest died. The butterflies fell into a sudden and intense coma. Once again, I felt
something glass shatter in my stomach as I realised that I had been getting my hopes up.
“Go on!” He pushed the box into my chest.
I looked at the box for a few seconds more, biting my lip. It felt like my hand was
the north pole, as was the box - there was an invisible force trying to separate myself
from it, the force almost undeniably strong.
There was an awful vibe coming off of it. I was afraid of whatever the box held,
what it could do to me, what it could mean. I dredged through my murky mind, trying to
find a reason for my repulsion, if it was the fear that this could possibly commit me to
him, or if it was something else, but nothing came to the top of my mind.
37
“Please.” He wrapped his hand around mine and squeezed gently, his gaze
intensely fixed on me.
I refused to look into his eyes as I opened it, the lid clicking back noisily. A thin
layer of black tissue paper that smelt of roses concealed whatever was underneath. I
picked it out and gave it to Jasper. I was hardly breathing and I could hear drumming in
my ears. I felt dizzy, and didn’t really want to know what was in there. I now definitely
knew there was no real reason as to why I didn’t want to know. After all, it is normal for a
boyfriend to buy his girlfriend a present every now and again. Even if it doesn’t have a
reason. Even if the girlfriend doesn’t really like receiving gifts as it is.
A long line of perfectly sized black beads stretched from end to end, a tiny white
speck on them where the tiny bit of light from the window reflected on their smooth
surface. The gold clasp was tiny, delicate. It looked expensive, yet old. It looked familiar.
I felt sick.
My wrist began to feel suffocated again.
I could feel the tears running down my cheeks, and hear them splashing down
onto the bed. I could also feel Jasper’s confused and worried look as his eyes took in my
reaction.
“What’s wrong? Don’t you like it?” He took the box out of my hand and snapped
it shut, placing it on the bedside table.
Of course I didn’t like it. It had been in that dream. The dream that I had been
having almost every night for ages. The dream that I felt I could tell no one about. I was
compelled to keep it a secret from everyone, even though there was nothing that could
physically stop me, no rational explanation for holding my silence. But how was I
supposed to tell Jasper that without him thinking I was crazy for believing a dream?
Would he think it just another excuse for him to not give me things? Could I hurt him by
refusing, or could I suck everything up again? What would happen to me in the long run
if I kept on making him happy if it made myself miserable? Or caused stress and anxiety?
I loved him.
“At least it’s not a marriage proposal.” A voice chimed in my head, “Just wear it.
You only want to make him happy.”
“No. It’s…It’s beautiful.” My throat closed around the condemning words. I
reluctantly held out my wrist, waiting for my shackle to be put on.
Jasper’s face lit up, his hands grabbing the box and fastening the bracelet around
my wrist, everything a blur through the tears fogging my gaze. He kissed my forehead as
I looked down at it, my pale and terrified face reflecting repeatedly in each visible bead.
It hadn’t been what I was expecting. I was expecting it to immediately close
around my wrist, to strangle my hand. But there was nothing. Nothing other than the cool
beads hanging loosely around my narrow wrist. I felt like an idiot for overreacting. It was
only a dream. Dreams rarely come true.
“Oh, and Lily?” Jasper quickly kissed my lips quickly, taking both my hands in
his, the smile of a winner slapped on his triumphant face.
“What?” I asked, sucking up my tears. What I would do to keep this boy happy. I
had to listen to my unnerving voices, however mentally unstable that would seem to the
outside world.
“I want you to move in with me.”
38
Chapter Eight
“What?”
I jumped off the bed and rushed to the other side of the room, pinning myself to
the wall. I didn’t feel any pain as my head smacked it. I was too busy fretting over what
Jasper had just said, my mind racing to find a way out of it, out of the conversation.
Maybe this was the reason for the bad vibe. Maybe I had the gut feeling this was coming.
“Please, Lily. How much longer can you take having to drive from work, to my
house, to yours? How much longer are you going to be restricted by your Dad’s strict
rules? How much longer am I going to cope not having you next to me every night? I
wake up and roll over, half expecting to see you there, but you’re not, and it kills me! I
want you to be the first and last thing I see every day, not just the last thing I think about.
I want all of you, every single tiny bit. The only problem is, is that I don’t believe I am
currently getting all that. I can’t get all that.” He looked down at his hands, his cheeks
slightly flushed.
I relaxed my grip on the wall, my hands dropping to my side. Every single muscle
in my body was tensed, ready to flee. I was having a continual battle with myself to stay
rooted to the spot. I had just had a massive bombshell dropped on top of me, as well as
forcing myself to wear something which symbolised evil, and I was terrified.
“Jasper.” I croaked, unable to say anything whatsoever.
“I’ll give you as much time as you want. You can pick any house in the world to
live in. Anywhere, any price.” He looked up at me through his eyelashes which were
slightly glistening from brimming tears. I was hurting him again.
“Jasper.” I croaked again, taking small steps slowly towards him.
He met me halfway, wrapping his arms around me as I buried my head into his
neck. He patted my back soothingly, waiting for me to gain either the physical strength or
courage - I wasn’t sure which one I needed - to voice what I wanted.
“I’m scared, Jazz.” I looked up at him through my fringe, my hands trembling on
his.
“Scared of what?” He asked, puzzled, yet slightly amused, by this concept.
“I don’t know! I’m so young! I don’t… I can’t… Give me time. I will, I promise.
It hurts me, too, not waking up next to you… But Mum… Dad…”
“Lily, I get you. I’m not making you move in with me now. Besides, we’d have to
find somewhere to live first. You take as much time as you want, ‘cause I’m with you for
the long run.”
“So not right away? You promise? And I can choose where as well?”
I had always been taught that the best thing to do was compromise. I knew that
Jasper would want to stay near his family, and that him giving me the free reign to choose
exactly where I wanted to live was a massive compromise. The quicker we got this
conversation out of the way, the less likely we were to have it in the future. Until I was
ready, that is.
My mind was swirling, full with a whirlwind. Nothing now. No moving in now.
When you’re ready. When I was ready. I had all the time in the world to move in with
him. I had every reason to wait for a while, wait for another year or so. He wasn’t going
to force me, and he couldn’t force me.
39
Well, he could. If he told me he were to die or something if I didn’t move in. Even
then I would still try my hardest to worm my way out, to find a way around it. When I
was little, I had always been eager to grow up and live in the real world, but recently, as
my age went up and the steps to independence became less, I began panicking.
Independence meant responsibilities. No longer could I then rely on money from
my parents or constantly being told what to do every day by school. I had to fend for
myself, and recent events had shown me that I was incapable of doing that. I was a
walking death clock, and if I were left to make my own decisions, I would strike twelve
sooner.
“Every little decision would be yours, down from the number of windows to the
colour of the walls. I promise.”
My heart sank a little bit more. That would mean more decision making. More
responsibilities. I had a hard enough time remembering to fill my tank up with petrol.
“Thanks, Jazz. Can we wait until after Christmas at least?” I asked, putting on my
false happy face.
“Well I wasn’t expecting you to be wanting to move in now, so whenever.
Besides, we have forever left together.” He put his fingers under my chin and tilted my
head up, placing his lips on mine again.
I froze, my body becoming rigid. Forever. The almost fresh image of the lady in
the book shop flashed to the forefront of my mind, her graceful blue rinse and the creases
covering her skin, each fold probably with its own story to tell.
“Lily?” He took his lips off mine and stood back, sliding his hands down to my
elbows.
“What?” I asked, shaking my head so I was back in reality.
“What’s up?” He picked up my hand with the bracelet on it and smiled, his
previously stony eyes all warm and runny again.
“Nothing. I guess I’m just tired, is all.” I feigned an incredibly crap yawn and
lifted up my free arm as if to stretch.
“I’ll make dinner, then we can watch a movie. Is that okay?” He picked the books
up off the floor and put them back on the shelf, straightening everything out.
“Sounds good to me! I’m starved!” Interest picked up in my voice at the mention
of food, my stomach now churning from hunger rather than anything else, “Oh, and Jazz?
Where are you parents?”
“They’ve gone to do more research. I think they’re gone to Romania this time -
back for a second visit.”
He took my hand and began to lead me out into the hallway and down the stairs.
The picture with Afina in was now hanging halfway down, its silver frame glinting under
the spotlights.
“And what about Afina? How’s her baby?” I asked, the previous urge to know
more about her returning once again after laying dormant for a while.
“She’s due in a few weeks.” His grip tightened on my hand before he stopped.
The kitchen looked like something out of a chef’s dream. There were many sides
of which to prepare food on, many organised cupboards. It was spotless. The word ‘dirt’
obviously did not belong in this room. The dark marble countertops lay on top of willow-
coloured cupboards, the floor made from a darker, varnished wood.
“Sit there.” He tilted his head in the direction of a breakfast bar in the centre of
40
the room, a stool at either end.

“So where does Afina live?” I asked, unsure of why he hadn’t said much about the
baby, or ever about he, in fact.
“Somewhere. I promise you’ll meet her one day. Just not yet.” He yanked open a
cupboard and revealed a fridge full of exotic ingredients that I hadn’t ever seen before.
The few things I could name were an onion, a block of cheese and some chicken, and
somehow even those managed to look weird and sophisticated.
“What’s so bad about her? Why do you never speak of her unless asked?” I
began tracing patterns in the countertop, the shape of an owl making itself apparent.
“Lily, it’s none of your business at the moment. And it won’t be for a few years
according to you. You have to officially be a part of this family to be let in about Afina. I
know we say forever now, and that we mean it, but there needs to be a more permanent
tie… I can’t explain it without giving anything away. There is so much I long to tell you
that I can’t...” He began smacking some pans around in a cupboard as his voice drifted
off.
“Oh. Okay.” I whispered as I began tracing a leaf shape, pretending that I didn’t
hear anything about marriage.
“Enchiladas okay?” He turned around and shimmied a baking tray at me, his
familiar smile now back where it belonged.
“Deal! As long as I don’t have to do any washing up…” I looked down at my
warn out hands, my fingertips chapping.
“What’s this thing called washing up?” He raised his eyebrow at me, his face
turning serious again.
“When you clean stuff?”
“Oh! You mean the machine! Hands are for holding, not for washing. Nothing
else can be held in my hands other than you, otherwise it’s sacrilegious! Nothing else is
worthy enough.” His porcelain skin glowed, making me more self-conscious of my
freckles.
“You have a dishwasher? What I would give for one of those at home!” I
exclaimed, obviously rather loud from the look on Jasper’s face.
“Lily, don’t be stupid. Go pick a DVD. Make it scary.” He had a little half smile
on his face which he tried to obscure by turning away from me.
I scraped my stool back and wondered my way into the front room. The shelf of
DVD’s stretched along a whole wall, and the range was vast - from old black and whites,
to silent movies, to French subtitles to the goriest horrors ever created.
In what I supposed was the horror section, I covered my eyes with my hand and
waved a pointed finger at them. I picked up the case that my finger landed on. The cover
had a girl’s face on it, her eyes blown out leaving what looked like bullet holes, a weird
black sludge trickling out from her nostrils.
“Dinner!” Jasper called, banging on a saucepan as if he were serving to a large
family.
“Already?!” I called, putting the DVD on the sofa, ready to go.
“Want to know a secret?” He replied back as I made my way in to the kitchen.
“Sure!” The memory of the bracelet and the house proposal slipping out of my
mind and into obscurity, to what should have been my disbelief if I had realised it was
doing it.
41
“I don’t cook.” He winked and pointed at two ready meal packets dumped on the
side.
I smiled and rolled my eyes at him before picking up my plate and sliding it onto
the breakfast bar. The food looked perfectly presented and even better than the image on
the box and I was ninety-nine percent sure that it smelt just as good as it looked, too.
Jasper lugged the other stool over so it was closer to me before sitting down with his
food.
“Cutlery?” I asked, looking around the room.
“Here.” He said, shoving the handles into my hand, “Bon appetite!”
“Ditto.” I said, forking in the first tiny segment of the steaming plate.
“You’re a total animal.” Jasper tutted, shaking his head slowly. His green eyes
were fixed on me, his cutlery down by the side of his untouched plate.
“You’re not going to eat?” I said, shrugging off his comment. I put more in my
mouth.
“You think I’m not going to eat my wonderful cooking? You’ve got to be
kidding.” He slid his cutlery across the bar and dipped his hands right in, “But I prefer
eating the natural way.” He winked, his fingers now orange and cheesy.
“And you call me the animal!?” I nearly choked on my mouthful, the heat burning
the roof of my mouth.
“Try it, Lily. It feels so…good.” Jasper now had an orange beard to match the
fingers.
Feeling childish once again, I dipped my fingers into the gooey pile and picked
out some of the chicken. The sauce ran through my fingers, and the feeling was quite an
unpleasant one. I glanced up at Jasper for reassurance.
“Go on then! Straight for the goal!” He demonstrated again for me, as if I didn’t
know how to eat.
I reluctantly put my slippery fingers into my mouth, chewed the food and
swallowed. Under my nails was now all dirty, my fingers becoming sticky where they
had begun to dry in the air. Jasper’s face was a picture, all lit up and celestial. I wanted to
go over and kiss his saucy face.
Unable to bear the stuff on my fingers, I got up to go to the sink… if I could find
it.
“Sink?” I asked, waving my hands around in the air.
“No, wait!” he said, vanishing instantly and then reappearing by my side the next
second. It looked nothing more than a flash to me.
I raised my eyebrows at him, puzzled. Again, he had the look in his eyes of a
toddler about to do something horrible to his Dad. I stood frozen as he grabbed my hand
and pulled it towards his face, only trying to yank it backwards when I realised what he
wanted to do, but it was no good. He was too strong.
“Gross! Jasper!” I squealed as he licked my fingers clean, whilst I still struggled
to escape to the nearest sink.
“Relax, Lily. Relax.” He said, before grabbing the other one and starting on that
one.
“I mean it Jasper! Gross!” I said, trying to hit him with my free hand.
He dodged it with ease, seeming to do nothing more than slightly move his body
out of the way. My punches were nothing that he couldn’t handle.
42
Once he had finished he spun me around and wrapped his arm around my tummy,
picked me up and ran me to the front room, our dinner beginning to get cold on the table.
“Dinner?” I managed to get out as he placed me on the sofa, the unwelcomingly
cold leather making me shiver.
“What dinner?” he winked, hitting a button on a remote control he seemed to have
pulled out of nowhere.
“But the DVD’s here.” I pointed out, picking up the box laying next to me.
“Ah, well I want to show you this first.”
He jumped down next to me and put his arm around my shoulder, planting a quick
kiss in my collar bone as the mysterious movie started.
The light twinkling of the higher end of a grand piano drifted through the room,
the music light and dancing, almost telling a story. Two tiny stick figures danced on the
screen, their body’s forming the most elegant shapes imaginable, bending and bowing
with one another. Their feet moved in perfect unison, the girl figure’s loose hair flowing
around in the air as they twisted and turned together.
As the pace of the music changed, so did they. They seemed to grow up a little bit,
their limbs becoming bigger, their body’s more shaped. Their hair stayed the same; the
man’s still quite shaggy, the woman’s the same length. Their dancing still had the same
air of grace in it, but it also had more sauciness in it, some of the moves a tiny bit more
provocative, a tiny bit more telling.
The music then slowed down again, coming to a halt. The figures, too, came to a
halt, their thin bodies looking like one. The only way you could tell there were two were
because there were two heads, and even then I wasn’t sure if they were still humans or if
they were some magical two-headed creature.
“Here.” Jasper wiped under my eyes with a tissue.
I hadn’t realised I had been crying. It was beautiful. In that world there were no
flaws. In that world, everything was meant to be.
“What was that?” I asked, taking the tissue off of him and dabbing under my own
eyes.
“Something I made the days after I first met you.” He popped the DVD tray open
and placed the horror movie in, slipping the unlabeled disc into a pearly-white case.
“You?” I asked, shocked that I hadn’t known his artistic skill.
“Yes, I made it. Well, you made it really. I just drew it.” I felt his leg press against
mine as he sat back down beside me, my eyes fixed on the blank screen.
“It’s… it’s…” I couldn’t find a single word to describe it. In the past there were
words for everything, but since Jasper came into my life, words never seemed to be
enough, “indescribable.” I tilted my head so it was on his shoulder, found his hand and
put it in mine.
“Didn’t know I could draw, did you?”
“No.” my voice was faint and my eyes were still on the screen, the contents
screen flashing and flickering.
“I love you.” I said, turning to face him. I kissed his eyelids, his eyebrows, his
hairline, his chin, his nose and finally his lips. All the while, he sat there like a statue, his
face perfectly composed.
“Not as much as I you.” Only his lips moved. I brushed his hair back.
“Doubt it. I really do.” I whispered right in his ear, kissing the side of his face.
43
“No, no. Without you, Lily, there is no sun in my life.” It was still only his lips
moving, but the tone of voice told me that he was adamant.
“Well, Jasper Tanner, without you, there is no life. No meaning. Therefore, I think
I win. And I’m dying to watch this movie.”
“Forever, Lily.” He finally moved and took my other hand.
“Forever, Jazz. And thanks for showing me that DVD. It’s beautiful.” I stopped
for a moment as I felt tears welling up again, “No, change that. It’s out of this world.”
“Good. You now have a copy.” He whipped his hand in and out of his jeans
pocket in an instant, and produced another pearly-white cover.
He clicked the DVD remote and the film started playing. I couldn’t ever tell you
what that movie was about. The only thing I could do right then was look at what I had
been given, and wonder how on earth I could ever have deserved him. My eyes were
glued, and there was no way I was going to remove them from him. I was spellbound.
“Sleep now, my fairy.” Jazz whispered as my eyelids began dropping.
I tried my hardest to keep them open. I didn’t want to sleep. I wanted to stay
awake with the most amazing person ever. I wanted to lie there all night in his arms and
listen to him breathing, to memorise every single little touch we had had between us,
relive every single moment we had shared since we first met, nose bleed and all.
“Lily, we have forever. You really should rest.”
He propped me up against the arm of the sofa and swapped the DVD’s over, his
speed the same as a normal human’s. He then sat back down on the sofa and laid me
down so my head was in his lap.
The last thing I saw were the two twirling figures. The last thing I heard was the
light twiddling of the piano. The last thing I felt was Jasper’s lips on my forehead and his
breath on my neck.
For the first time in ages, I slept soundly.
Chapter Nine
“I never knew fairies slept so heavily.”
I smiled as he kissed my forehead and brushed my wild hair back. Slowly, I sat
up, stretching each and every limb I possibly could. Maybe I could live like this. Maybe I
am ready to see Jasper first and last thing every morning and night. But maybe I should
44
give it more time. My thoughts trudged through slowly, eventually all agreeing on ‘in a
bit.’
“What room is this?” I asked, confused by the change of scenery from where I
had last left myself.
The coffee colours of the front room had changed, the now white walls glowing
slightly as the dim light of dawn snuck in through the open window. Everything in the
room was white, including the weird four-poster bed, the white lace billowing out from
the top and rolling onto the floor, looking like the foamy waves of the sea.
“It is Afina’s old room. I couldn’t let you sleep in mine. After all, the mattress is
much too hard in there and I didn’t want it to be a real-life version of the princess and the
pea.”
He was wearing a white, formal shirt, his back now to me. It was obviously open,
the corners flapping around, making cotton wings as he made his way over to the only
non-white bit of furniture in the room. The red box sat on top of a white counter, the lid
half open, revealing the tiny plastics legs of a jewellery box ballerina. He gently slipped
his fingers through the tiny gap and pulled out an envelope that looked twice the size of
the box.
“I need you to get dressed now. Our taxi is coming in five.” he was facing me
again, the red of his hair and the green of his eyes sticking out like a sore thumb.
“Wait. Come here first.” I was still smiling. The nervousness I had been
anticipating about the trip was not there at all. In fact, I was rather excited.
Jasper put the envelope in his jeans pocket, his face curious and bewildered. As
soon as he was standing in front of me, I jumped up and threw my arms around him,
putting my lips on the one place they always felt at home.
“What brought that on?” he asked, smirking as I made it obvious that he had won.
All my complaining had amounted to nothing, making him right.
“You’re the best forever.” I whispered, pulling on the bottom of his shirt.
“Go on, get dressed.” he winked, patting my bum lightly.
He walked out of the room and left me to myself, my bag nowhere in sight. I
walked over to the wardrobe and flung it open, expecting it to have been put away, but
there was nothing. Nothing other than a few moth balls laying dormant in the corners.
“Where’s my-” I began, turning around to face the door to make sure I could be
heard.
A red dress hung on the back of the door, the labels obviously hanging down. I
grimaced as I walked towards it, carefully bringing it down from its hanger.
“On the back of the-” Jasper began, poking his head round the door, “Oh. You’ve
found it.” And with that, he left again.
Knowing that time was running short, I flung it on quickly. I would argue later.
The silk was smooth against my skin, welcoming. The colour went surprisingly well with
my complexion -it was a colour I never would have considered in a million years. And I
definitely had all of those million years. The top half was covered in lace, a few shades
lighter than the actual dress, the pattern quite simple and cute, whilst the bottom half had
netting over it, the same colour as the actual dress, making it puff out. I tried to flatten it
in vain, thinking that I was way too done up for a stupid flight, first class or no first class.
And the shoes that were standing against the wall looked more like they were for
supermodels, not me, the red straps looking dangerously thin and weak.
45
“And the make-up.” Jasper was behind me, waving a weird bag in my face.
“What?” I asked, shocked at the thought. I had never really bothered with make-
up, and the only thing I could successfully put on was eyeliner.
“You know, I don’t have a clue either. Mum said you might like it, but I think you
look better without.” His arm had dropped to his side and his mouth hung open between
each word. He was not making eye contact as he spoke, more looking at me, taking
something in.
“Is it tucked in to my knickers?” I asked, tugging at the dress.
“No…no…you look…” he was still standing there, gormless, “Right. Any man
who looks at you today might get hit.”
“Okay?” I still didn’t get it, so I chose to ignore him.
The taxi beeped outside ad Jasper picked me up, running me down the stairs. I
furiously clung on to my skirt, praying that it wouldn’t blow up and reveal everything I
had on underneath. My hair still hadn’t had a brush through it, and I could tell it looked
even messier than it had when I had first woken up.
“Hop in the back.” Jasper put me on the pavement and ran off to get the bags.
I turned around and went to grab the door handle, only to find it wasn’t actually
there. I scrambled along the black surface, tapping it everywhere looking for the way in,
my movement becoming more desperate as tiny drops of rain began to fall from the thick
clouds looming above me.
“Miss! Miss!” his accent was definitely not from around here, “You get in here!”
I looked at the tiny man, his black hair curling around his ears. He walked around
to the other side of the car and did something, the sound of a door sliding open becoming
prominent.
“Thanks.” I smiled meekly, trying to get in as gracefully as I could.
“So, what do you think of the stretch?” Jasper asked, sliding in beside me and
leaving the chauffer to put our bags in the boot.
“Stretch?”
“The limo? You know, the thing you are sitting in?” he stared at me in disbelief.
I looked around at the leather seats, the flashy stereo system, the typical sun roof
and the two glasses of champagne standing on a pull-out tray. You could fit twenty other
people in there, each with bags. I felt an idiot for not realising what it was as I
remembered tapping everywhere, searching for the door in what seemed an incredibly
long vehicle. The length had not occurred to me. The colour had not occurred to me.
“Jasper. No. I don’t want a limo! I don’t want this dress! Stop it, please. Can you
get your parents to stop doing stuff like this for me, for us. It’s lovely, really, but jeez.
Everyone in the village is going to be looking at us. No, change that. Everyone on the
way to the airport is going to be looking at us!” I put my face into my hands to hide my
reddening face.
“Lily, you deserve all of this though. Do you not understand?” His voice was soft,
“And please, stop fighting it. We’ve got more money than we need, however much we
donate or give away. And if you really want forever, then your forever will have to be
this.”
I didn’t take my head out of my hands. I still stared angrily at my shoes, the
chipped paint on my nails from however many years ago it felt since I had last painted
them, angrily poking out.
46
“You look gorgeous. No… more so.”

“I agree, Mr Tanner, but please, we get going now?” The chauffer had slid open
the divider between his compartment and ours and was leaning in, his eyes fixed on me.
I squirmed in my seat and closer in to Jasper’s arms. I felt uncomfortable and
ungrateful. I wanted to be in my comfy and familiar jeans with an old t-shirt. I wanted to
be going to the cinema, like a normal teenager does with their boyfriend at 17.
I finally felt how I always knew I would feel at the prospect of going away with
Jasper. Sick. I was excited, as I always was when I was with him, but I also felt sick. And
nervous. If this was just my clothing, if this was just the taxi, then what other surprises
would there be? First class planes, designer labels… it was a whole world away from the
real me, who’s used to using public transport and cleaning up after younger siblings.
If this was going to be forever, then I could be lost for a very long time.
“Yes. Get going.” Jasper’s tone was harsh, and I knew he sent a warning in it.
“Thanks, Jazz.” I said, “Do you have a hairbrush?”
“Yes. Open that cupboard over there.” He pointed into a concealed box just above
my head.
I slid the panelling and pulled out a tiny bag the same colour as my dress. I didn’t
need to rummage; it was too small to fit much more in than a brush and a purse. I caught
sight of the bracelet that sat on my wrist and smiled.
If I overcame that, then I could overcome anything.
“You know, I can’t believe I have you.” he put his hand on my knee.
“What?”
“I can’t believe I have you. My dream girl.”
I pulled a face at him and wriggled away, angrily crossed my legs and folded my
arms and glared out of the window, the thick tint discolouring the outside world.
“What?” he wailed, the corners of his mouth dropping at the bottom.
“’Dream girl’? You’re ridiculous. You have to be the same as every other guy.
Your dream girl has to be a six foot blonde with the perfect body. You’re not that
different from any other man, mysterious abilities or not!” my heart winced at the image
of the dream girl, how good she looked standing next to Jasper, how plain I looked
standing next to him.
“Lily, has anyone ever told you that you are completely nuts?” he stood up and
crouched down in front of me.
“No. I don’t think so.” I said sheepishly.
“Well you are. You’re perfect and you just don’t see it. And do you really think
I’d still be with you if I wanted a blonde bombshell?” he kissed my nose as I changed
position nervously.
“Erm…n…no.” Jasper spoke logic, and I had to accept that.
“Good. Now go back to sleep. Tara said the traffic will be pretty bad.”
I didn’t want to argue with Jasper. Only with him did I have perfect sleep,
refreshing sleep. I needed to get as much of it as I possibly could during this holiday
before I had to go back home to restless nights and fear and screaming.
I slid out along the seat and put my head in Jasper’s lap, the sound of the traffic a
dull hubbub, the humming like a cityscape lullaby.
I could only imagine the type of person Afina was - someone clean and neat and
perfect. She had looked just as striking as the rest of the family in the photo, and that was
47
not any surprise. Anything the Tanners touched seemed to end up with an air of beauty
around it. Even the sourest of people could be turned from lemon to apple.
I heard the two champagne glasses tinkle as they smacked each other, followed by
Jasper downing them one after the other. He moved his arm in what I presumed was him
wiping his mouth before laying back into the upholstering.
My dreams were full of white and dancing, champagne and celebration. It looked
like I was floating on a cloud. Everyone was dressed in tight Victorian clothes, their
modern dancing making them look out of character. In the centre of the floor was Jasper,
his arms outstretched to me, beckoning me in.
“Wake up my fairy. Wake up.” he whispered in my ear as he took my hands and
began circling around the room with me, everyone around us parting like the sea to make
room for us.
“Lily? Wake up, darling.”
I felt Jasper’s lap disappear out from underneath me and my head rolled back. I
expected it to hit the seat, but it didn’t. It hung there limp for a few moments before
Jasper put his arm underneath. My feet were dangling in the air, my back being supported
by his arms. I half-heartedly flung my arms around his neck in a shallow attempt to help
him juggle me and getting out of the car.
“Darling, you really need to wake up. You may think I’m superman, but I’m not.”
he chuckled lightly.
I refused to get out of my dream and back into the real world. The real world was
scary, and full of limitations, whereas where I was now could go anywhere.
“Wakey, wakey, sleepy head!”
All around me in my half-conscious world I could hear people panicking,
throwing their luggage onto the trolleys and running into the airport, children crying
because they had to leave their teddy bear at home and worrying mothers double
checking that they had everyone’s passport. Jasper and I were still dancing in my head,
but the music had changed tempo to fit the scene around me.
“Lily! You need to be awake otherwise we can’t go!” Jasper blew on my face
before groaning in defeat, “Okay. We won’t go.”
It was unfair when he played that card. There was an awful sense of turmoil in his
voice, and just from hearing that you could see his hurt eyes, his broken smile. Even his
hair seemed to be affected when he did it.
“Fine.” I yawned, popping one eye open.
“Thanks. Now if you’re as quiet as you are when you’re asleep, that’d be
brilliant.” he put me to the floor and I play punched him in the arm.
He scrunched up his face in over exaggerated pain and rubbed his arm furiously,
suddenly coming to a halt with his face all blank.
“You hit like a girl.”
“I am a girl. And you’re invincible.” I reminded him, looking over at our chauffer
who was now impatiently tapping his foot, a trolley loaded with our bags beside him.
“Almost invincible. That is the key.” he rummaged around in his pocket and
pulled out his wallet, thumbed through an enormous wad of cash and handed some to the
driver, “And you, my dearest, could be the very death of me.”
I rolled my eyes at him and got behind the trolley, ready to fight my way in and
through the entire airport. I could see me now -with the little tolerance I had towards
48
people who moved slowly- getting into fights and chasing people with the trolley and
creating general havoc throughout the airport in an incredibly un-fairy-like manner.
“No! No!” Jasper almost forgot where he was for a moment- he moved
abnormally fast for a second before slowing again, “The other man will be here in a
minute.”
I huffed and stood back, folding my arms across my chest. I had been given hands
for a reason!
“Lily, after this there will be nothing other than you and I. Do you really think I
would unleash a hormonal fairy on rampage through an airport? How irresponsible is
that?”
“You’re so 1900’s. Slaves haven’t been around for ages.” my voice went up at the
wrong point faulting my sarcasm.
“Just chill. Please.” he smiled at me and every single shard of ice that was once so
glittery, hard and smooth turned into flowing water.
Jasper turned around and went over to a man approaching in a weird navy blue
hat with matching felt uniform. It looked cheap and unloved - every crease indicating
how many times it had been dumped on the floor after a strenuous day of work.
The man whispered something in Jasper’s ear, which made him nod, and together
they both walked over to me, Jasper carefully matching his stride.
“Let’s go, love.” he stroked my hair before pushing it back behind my ear and
wrapping his arm around my waist.
I tried to let everything go as together we stepped into the hustle and bustle of the
airport.
Chapter Ten
We had been whisked through all the check-in desks and control stops incredibly quickly.
The speed we moved made me feel like my feet had never touched the floor. Every time
Jasper looked at me, I felt myself go all gooey and light-headed. I had to be careful,
otherwise I would never make it onto the plane. I’d either die from the heels of the lack
of oxygen in my blood.
The first class lounge was spacious and soothing, the outside runway blocked
from our view by thick blue walls, the sound of engines was only just audible over the
trickle of the water fountains and movie playing. Bowls of apples sat on the information
desk, and the staff all looked prim and proper with not a hair out of place.
There was not the usual screaming toddlers or panicking people. In fact, there
49
were very few people. If it weren’t for us and another couple, the departure lounge would
have been empty. The staff were all fidgeting, longing for something to do.
“Is there anything I can help you with?” she had the typical air-hostess smile,
except she wasn’t an air hostess. Her blonde hair was scraped back neatly, her blue eyes
wide and smiling.
“No thanks.” I said with bitter resentment, looking at Jasper as she turned around
and sashayed away, her hourglass figure slinking into a discrete door just beside a water
cooler.
His eyes were fixed on me and I immediately felt guilty. I didn’t think I would
ever truly be able to believe that he didn’t think of other girls, regardless of the amount of
times he told me. He may act human incredibly well, but did his hormones work the
same? Did he have the same sorts of urges and desires as other boys his age?
“You sound so sour. Secret lemon feast?” he grabbed a newspaper off the little
coffee table he had his feet resting on, his eyes still on me.
“Yes. And man, have those lemons made me want to pee.” I lied. I quickly
jumped up and ran as fast as my high heeled shoes would let me to the ladies.
“You’re so jealous! What is wrong with you?” I scalded myself as I splashed my
face with water, some escaping my hands and dropping down the front of my dress, “And
you’re wet. Great.”
I pulled a face in the mirror before turning the hand dryer on and trying to stick
my body underneath it. The warm air rippled the material, the moisture quickly going.
“You okay? You’ve been in here a while. The plane’s boarding soon.” Jasper had
popped his head through the tiny gap of the door and was looking at me with the same
face as he had before we had left the house, “God, you look good.”
I blushed scarlet as I patted down the bottom of my dress and made my way to the
door. I placed my hand in his as we walked towards the only clear section in the wall, the
glass refracting light in different directions. A single plane lay about 50 feet away whilst a
new-looking transporting buggy sat just yards away from us.
“We just need to double check your boarding cards, sir.”
The blonde assistant completely blanked me as for the millionth time that day, she
did a double take of Jasper. I quickly pecked him on the cheek, to his surprise. He quickly
turned his head back to mine and kissed me on the lips.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her frown in disapproval. I couldn’t help but
smile, every ounce of smug reaching every inch of my body.
The last time I had been on a plane was one I hardly remembered. It had been the
journey back from saving Jasper. On the way to save him, the plane never seemed to
move fast enough, and nothing else around me registered other than the fact I needed him
safe. I needed him with me, for the sake of my mental and physical health.
I had forgotten how windy the short distance between the buggy taking us to the
plane and the departure lounge would be. I couldn’t even remember what time of day it
was last time I was out in a similar stretch. My legs wobbled furiously, the tiny points of
my heels threatening to bowl over and take me with them. The skirt of my dress
repeatedly tried to fly up, making me cross my legs and push it down with one hand, my
face yet again matching the dress.
With my spare hand looped through Jasper’s, I was using him as a support. I felt
so fragile and delicate, something that I had never felt even as a fairy. The pang of need
50
for my jeans was triggered yet again as another mighty gust nearly sent me flying.
Jasper walked as if there were no wind, his body strong and resistant in the gale. I
could see him -but not hear him- laughing at my dismal attempt to support myself. The
few feet to the buggy were pure torture. The extra store of energy that I had gained from
my short sleep in the limo had quickly deteriorated, and my eyelids began drooping.
“You’re so funny. It’s cute.” smiled Jasper once the buggy doors had closed
around us, the deafening noise quietening considerably.
I frowned at him and scraped my hair around so it was over one shoulder, hoping
that on the plane he would let me sleep.
“It really is cute!” Jasper protested, his eyebrows raising in an adorable fashion.
I couldn’t help myself. I strained my neck upwards and kissed the tip of his nose
before I snuggled deeper into his arms and closed my eyes.
“I’ll carry you up. Get some sleep.” he whispered.
I opened my eyes for a brief second to see the other couple staring at us, their
body language towards each other negative and insulting.
“Larry, why can’t we be like that?” hissed the woman.
I presumed she turned to face him, since my eyes were now firmly shut. My
senses were slowly shutting down, my sense of smell being the last thing to fail.
“Because, Tanya, we’re not rich teenagers with more money than sense!” his
voice was just as bitter as hers.
Unfortunately for me, the short road trip was shorter than anticipated. As the last
scent I inhaled made me all warm and runny inside, I was picked up and once again
brought out into the deathly cold. I groaned as Jasper steadily began to climb the metal
stairs.
I felt something warm and plush slip underneath my back as Jasper’s arms slid out
from underneath me, the places where his arms were now felt freezing cold and lonely.
“No, don’t.” I groaned again, still half asleep.
“Awake or not?”
“I’ll wake up in a minute Dad.” I flicked my wrist out limply in the air, hoping
that it would hit Jasper. It missed.
“Dad? Would a Dad do this?”
I felt something cold flick onto my face. My eyes shot open as I wiped it off. A
crystal glass of water sat in front of me on a glass coffee table. A widescreen hung on the
wall ahead of me, the people on the screen moving but no sound coming out. The
windows were all framed with tiny velvet curtains, and the floor carpeted in a thick,
lavish sea of red.
“Mine bloody well would!” I said, dipping my own hand in the water and
repeating his actions. He didn’t even flinch.
“Well, what do you think of first class?”
“It’s too flipping posh. Bring on the toddlers.” I dismissed the overly done
decoration of the place. It seemed more like a hotel suite than a plane, and I could tell the
cost would have been ridiculous for an in-country flight.
“Toddlers? Never thought you were the mothering type.” he lifted his hand up and
pushed something on the ceiling above our heads.
“Now what are you doing? Will a robotic maid pop out of the floor now? I don’t
want champagne, Jasper!”
51
He erupted with laughter to the confusion of the airhostess sashaying her way
slowly towards us. It took him a few minutes to calm down and for his breathing to return
to normal.
“You’re nuts. I was just asking how long till we leave. Lily, you’re insane.”
“5 minutes, sir. Is there anything else you would like?” I could tell the hostess was
trying not to raise her eyebrows in disproval. A couple of seventeen year olds was
obviously not who she was accustomed to serving.
“No, that’s all I wanted. Unless my fair lady wants anything?” he turned in the
spacious seat towards me, a cheeky little grin on his face.
“No. I’m fine thanks.” I nodded my head at the airhostess and she sashayed back
into the little cupboard-looking thing she had come from.
“In exactly 45 minutes, we will be in Bournemouth.”
“Why did we have to fly?” I whimpered as the engine kicked in.
“Please fasten your seatbelts. We will be taking off shortly.” the voice over the
speaker was crackly and sort of distorted. The pilot didn’t give the usual introduction
with his whole life story from birth to wanted death, “We hope we have a safe, short
journey.”
“I never knew you were scared of planes.” Jasper’s face was panicked as the
blood rushed out of my face and into my feet.
“I’m not. I just think it is completely unnecessary, pointless and it kills the
environment.”
Jasper pulled out a bottle of water from under his seat and unscrewed the lid. He
handed it over to me, and I gulped half of it down. Typically, the more I drank, the
thirstier I became. You never know you’re thirsty until you have a drink.
“Never knew you cared about the environment, either.”
“I don’t. I care about the moon, remember.” I swirled the last bit around my
mouth before handing him back the empty container.
“Okay? Just go back to sleep. You’re not making any sense.” he kissed the top of
my head as I wriggled into a comfy position.
Once I was asleep, not even the sounds or motions of the plane taking off could
wake me. I was in my own little world where Jasper didn’t feel the need to waste money
on me. In this world, we were beggars, living under bridges with only each other for
warmth, but even in such harsh weather conditions as rain and snow, each other was all
we needed.
“You sleep so much. Wake up. We’re landing in five minutes.”
The curtains that had once been drawn over the window now weren’t, and a harsh.
Natural light beamed in. The clouds in the pastel blue sky looked like cotton wool.
“Jasper, do you think you could take me walking on the clouds?” I slowly sat up.
What I was wearing had totally slipped my mind, “Oh. My shoes would puncture them.”
I wasn’t sure if I were still half asleep, or if maybe I was going insane.
“If it wasn’t for the fact that you are making me laugh, then I’d be shipping you
off to the hospital as soon as we landed.”
I stretched my arms out as if I were in a normal commercial flight, my elbows
squared so they wouldn’t go into the person besides me space. I yawned, and slowly
came back down to earth. The same as the plane.
“Our holiday!” I squealed, beginning to get excited.
52
“Now you seem enthusiastic? You’re so indecisive.” Jasper lifted my wrist up,
“Indecisive, but beautiful. And I’m glad this suites you so.”
Jasper tried to say something else, but the sound of the tyres grounding on the
tarmac drowned everything out. The television screens that were still moving turned
black, and what had been the beautiful sky outside the window was now the grey and
depressing concrete slabs of airport buildings.
As soon as we were allowed to get off, I got out of my seat and stumbled my way
towards the stairs, my knuckles turning white as I gripped ferociously to the metal rail to
stop myself form falling. Jasper’s cheeks were turning pink as the wind slapped them
-how anyone could just continue to look better and better was beyond me.
I sat on Jasper’s lap, although I didn’t need to, as we were connected the short
distance to the airport. The other couple were quiet and subdued, their body language still
negative. Whatever their problems were, they still hadn’t patched them up.
Our bags took no time at all to turn up on the conveyor belt. Jasper had them
loaded onto another trolley and had begun wheeling them through the airport before I had
realised. I had to run after him to catch him, making sure I was near a wall in case I fell.
I groaned as another limo sat waiting for us outside. This time the chauffer had
black glasses on and was leaning smugly against the car, his arms folded. I didn’t want to
make the mistake of feeling around for the handle this time, so instead I waited for it to
be opened. I slid in and closed my eyes, trying to blank the staring people outside out.
“Another limo?” I asked as Jasper sat down beside me.
“Yes. Although this time, there is almost no driving time at all. Only fifteen or so
minutes.”
For those fifteen minutes I glued my eyes to the winding and bustling roads of
Bournemouth. I would have been terrified to learn to drive here. It was all a massive
motorway, one roundabout leading to a next, each road with three or four lanes. Houses
were scattered between massive industrial estates, the odd trees lined up with ten feet
before the next one came.
It resembled nothing of Sarratt. It was like a monster of tarmac and concrete.
“And we’re here!” Jasper was leaning into the car, his hand outstretched. I hadn’t
even noticed that we’d stopped.
I took it and hopped out, landing lightly on my feet. One bonus of being a fairy -
you were never referred to as the elephant.
“I’ll be two minutes. I’m just getting the key.”
I was left standing underneath a balding tree as he turned on his heels and walked
into a tiny shop on the corner of the road. It looked out of place. All the other shops here
had massive glass fronts and sings that lit up at night - but this one just had the one
window and an old fashioned wooden sign hanging above the door.
The limo sped off down the road, making me the only sign of life for miles.
Nothing else stirred.
“Got it! This way, my only.” he kissed my lips and picked me up, put the keys on
my lap and bundled up our bags so he could carry them with the other.
He walked a short way down the road before turning up an overgrown side path.
The weeds looked mutated as dandelions ten times the normal size sprung up through
thorns and brambles. Shards of broken glass that were now well rounded at the edges
shone out through the dust track of which we now walked. The dust gradually turned to
53
gravel, and the weeds thinned out. The ceiling of dying leaves and branches that had once
drowned out most of the light was also thinning, the sky taking its place. The sun shone
brightly onto the building in front of us.
“Our home for the weekend.”
I rubbed my eyes in disbelief.
Chapter Eleven
A blackbird sat on a ledge between the window, it’s reflection distorted. The glass was
uneven in thickness, and slightly bent. The lead frame that held it in went well with the
cream walls, each stone a fabulous shade of honey. A rose garden sat in front of it, the
smell strong and uplifting. The red door swung open daintily at Jasper’s gentle touch. Its
hinges squeaked as such ages hinges should.
“Wow! For us?!” I walked up to a rose bush and tilted the head of one towards
me, “And I thought roses died in autumn.”
“Come inside. You’re going to love it.” he grabbed my hand and lead me in.
Jasper was right.
Low, dark beams lined the ceiling and walls. Dark furniture, from all different
periods of time, was placed throughout, each piece with its own bit of history. A mirror
half the size of one of the walls hung over a fire place in the front room, the rug in front
of it faded and greying from years of love and use. The TV seemed out of place.
“You call me insane? How much did this cost to rent for the weekend?” I couldn’t
contain my excitement as I spun around and threw my arms around him.
54
“Remember, I am literally made of money.” he was smiling too, obviously over

the moon that, yet again, he was winning.
“Let’s go upstairs!” I was jumping up and down like a five-year old who had just
received the thing at the very top of her Christmas wish list.
“You’re so very immature!” Jasper laughed, the fire dancing in its reflection in his
hair.
I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him out of the room, into the narrow
hallway and up the wooden stairs. They should have been creaking like crazy, but we
both appeared to be weightless.
Upstairs only had two doors. One was made from the same oak as the rest of the
house, and the other was a painted white with a metal and twisting doorknob on it. I went
straight for the oak door, hoping it was the room I was looking for.
“You said, we’ve got a whole weekend to ourselves-” I began,
“Lily, I want to. So badly, it’s almost killing me, but your Dad-” this time, I
interrupted him.
“He’ll never know!” my bottom lip began wobbling at yet another rejection of my
amatory urges.
“Close your eyes.” Jasper whispered, his mouth near my ear before I had enough
time to take another breath.
I closed them whilst counting my breathing to calm myself down again. I couldn’t
ruin this holiday in the first five minutes by being stupid.
I felt myself being pushed forward into the room, Jasper’s arms around my waist
tightly. I could feel my hair move slightly as his breath hit it. I could feel his heart begin
to race as he stopped me.
“There is nothing more I want than you. I want every single bit of you, for every
single bit of eternity.” he kissed the top of my head, scraped my hair back and kissed the
back of my neck and then kissed a line from my shoulder to the base of my throat, “Open
your eyes.”
An oak four poster bed sat up against a wall, the bottom of it made completely
from wooden compartments. The curtains around it were burgundy and swept back into
cloth binders. The mattress looked thick and spongy, the duvet warm and inviting. Two
wardrobes stood either side of it, also made out of oak.
“It matches the rest of the house?” I asked, confused as to why I had to close my
eyes.
“Yes, it does. Now turn around.”
I was still confused as I turned around and saw Jasper standing there, his face
smooth and emotionless.
“You know you look unreal, Jasper.” I touched his cheek to see if he would move.
He didn’t.
“What’s wrong?” my pitch was raised as worry set in.
“Nothing’s wrong.” only his lips moved.
“There is. Tell me, Jasper.”
I tried to prise his arms from his side and wrap them around me. On failing to
move them, I put my arms around his neck instead, desperate to awaken the unsettling
thing before me.
“Kiss me, Lily.” his eyes were hard.
55
“What?” I took a step back, beginning to get scared.

“Kiss me.” This time, he looked down at the floor.
I kissed the top of his head, “I love you, Jasper Rohan Tanner.”
“Okay, now close your eyes again.”
I closed them whilst battling with my instinct to run. I forced myself to glue my
feet to the ground. It was Jasper for crying out loud!
I felt my feet leave the floor. I felt my arms being bent to fit around his body.
“Open them again.”
“Jasper, what weird game are you playing?”
“Just open your eyes!” his voice was light and care-free again.
I opened them and found myself back in the rose garden. I hadn’t felt or heard a
single thing.
“How did we get here? You didn’t run, I didn’t feel anything.”
“I know you didn’t. That’s because I didn’t run.”
My eyes were possibly the size of saucers. If he didn’t run, then how the hell had
we just gotten down here?
“I’ve been thinking about it for ages. You know that I’ve been managing to get
into your room without having to walk? I sort of just thought about it and I appeared?”
I shook my head. I knew he had managed to get in there somehow, but I had never
really thought about it.
“Okay, well I just sort of think about it and it happens. Well, lately I’ve been
thinking that maybe I can do more than just one person. That maybe, I could do it with
you too.”
The sun was just poking its head over the roof of the house making it a gigantic
silhouette that loomed over us.
“Right… Jasper, is there anything you can’t do?” I was beginning to believe that
maybe the abilities I was unfortunate enough to have seemed like something a normal
had to Jasper. I grew wings and had spells, whilst he could do everything under the sun. I
wouldn’t put it past him to go without breathing for a few hours.
“I can’t read minds. Remember?”
He stretched his arm behind him and fumbled around in the air. Slowly, he
brought it back.
“Here.” he pushed a rose into my hands, the purple petals tightly closed.
One by one, in front of our eyes, they peeled open, as if the sun were completely
up, as if it were summer, not autumn.
“Nature around here is truly screwed up.” I muttered, still watching it open.
“No, Lily. Not nature. You’re the one making the roses live in such weird
conditions.”
“So you’re saying I’m screwed up?” I arched an eyebrow at him.
“Yes, Lily. I am saying that you are a hundred and ten percent screwed up.” his
face was smooth and emotionless, his tone dry and sarcastic.
“Thanks.” I chirped, kissing his cheek.
“You’re amazing.”
“You’ve said.” I smiled, the hair on my arms beginning to horripilate as an icy
wind picked up and began whipping through the trees, “Can we go inside?” I gestured
towards the door with my thumb.
56
Jasper nodded and I ran inside, slamming the door behind me. No matter how fast
I ran, he always seemed to beat me.
I fell back onto the sofa, the plump cushions pillowing my fall. I stuck my hands
and feet out in the direction of the fire and began rubbing them. The heat instantly began
turning my fingers back to their normal pale colour.
Jasper entered the room a few minutes later, a bowl the size of my head full of
popcorn in his hands. He winked, tilted his head in the direction of a small pile of DVD’s
and then sat in the arm chair, hungrily gulping down handfuls of the stuff.
“I can’t be bothered. It’s too far to move and I’m tired.” I waved my hand,
dismissing the movie idea.
“Tired? After you slept all day?” he slid the bowl onto the coffee table in front of
him.
“Yes, tired. And hungry. Do they do pizza here?” I leaned forward slightly to grab
a handful of popcorn only to fall backwards again.
“Lazy. Want me to feed you?”
He dug his hand right in and grabbed a fistful. As I shook my head to answer his
question, he began flinging bits at me, each one bouncing off the top of my head and
behind the sofa.
“You’re so mean!” I wailed, picking a stray piece out of my hair.
“Really? I think you’re mean.” he began flicking two pieces at a time.
“Why am I mean?” I asked, now trying to bat the flying objects away.
“Because you don’t like my four-poster bed. And you haven’t said thank you.” he
pushed his bottom lip out and batted his eyelids.
“Jasper Rohan Tanner. I think you’ll find that I thank you every day just for
breathing, and just for being crazy enough to stick by a fairy who almost got you killed.
If I said thank you all the time, you’d get bored. So I show you thank you.”
“You said all three names. This is serious.” he leaned forward and put his hands
flat on the table. He was posed for listening.
“Serious? What on earth?” I straightened myself out so my back was flat against
the sofa.
“You have the most beautiful smile, Lily.”
He got on his knees and began shuffling is way around the table until he was
directly in front of me. A lock of hair fell in front of his eyes, and I leant forward to
sweep it out of the way.
Before I had the chance to get anywhere near touching it, his lips were on mine.
Every single muscle in my body relaxed and the only thing that stopped me from
flopping backwards was his arm that was supporting me. As always, butterflies swarmed
around my tummy, hitting the sides in their desperate bid to find an escape. The world
around us just vanished, and there was only Jasper and I, his smell and my smell, his
body and my body. It took strength to pull myself back to reality for a few brief moments.
“Let’s go upstairs.” he cheekily winked, scooping me up and running full speed to
the bedroom.
He laid me down on the bed, my body sinking deep into the mattress. He pulled
me in tight to him, his arms becoming a prison. A prison of which I never wanted to
escape.
“I love you.” I whispered as he kissed my closed eyelids.
57
My head was resting on the top of his head, and I was fighting a losing battle with
myself to remain conscious. Every single time Jasper’s lips touched mine or my body,
they became heavier and heavier.
“I’ll make sure something’s ready for you to eat when you wake up.” he pulled
the covers over our bodies.
“Jasper,” my voice was faint, “What time is it?”
“Only about 2 in the afternoon. I’ll wake you up at four. Promise.”
And I was out.
I never usually accepted promises, regardless of who made them. Promises were
made, and like rules, were broken. Jasper was an exception to that rule. I could somehow
believe every single promise he made, every single thing he vowed to do. Maybe it was
more the fact that I didn’t want to not believe him rather than truly believing him. I would
never know for sure and I was entirely happy not ever knowing.
It would always be too soon for the gut wrenching creatures in my dream to
return. For every ounce of sleep I got, I felt an ounce lighter. The more nights I had with
complete undisturbed sleep, the further away my worries would get.
The less vivid the imagery in my dreams were, the less worried I would be that
they were in fact real - an incredibly horrific sense of de ja vu.
“Pizza.”
A slice was being waved under my nose, the smell waking up all of my senses.
My stomach growled as it remembered how empty it was.
I slid myself upright in the bed, the strange surroundings taking me off guard for a
minute. I yanked the slice out f Jasper’s hand and wolfed it down, unable to say thank
you.
Jasper didn’t hesitate to put the whole box on my lap. I could almost see my own
eyes glitter at the thought of a meal. My hands fumbled as I struggled to get the pizza out
fast enough - Jasper had to help me.
“I didn’t know you were this hungry!” his body shook as he tried not to laugh.
“Shh! Let me eat!”
Jasper pushed my hair back out of my face and sat on the edge of the bed in
silence watching my hands. He waited patiently. Not a single hint of words wanting to
escape his lips was visible at any point.
As the number of slices diminished, I began to peel back the duvet little bit by
little bit. By the time I had finished the last slice, only my feet were covered.
“Your jeans are hanging in the wardrobe. You might, erm… want to change.” he
swooped down and kissed my forehead, leaving my in my crumpled up expensive dress
to myself.
I jumped up, shaking the empty pizza box to the floor. I ran over to the mirror and
tried to de-wrinkle the dress, even if it were to be just the slightest bit. I gave up after I
realised the material just bounced back to where it previously was.
Everything was hanging in the wardrobe. Including my underwear. The wonderful
smell of ancient forest sprung upon me as I opened the doors. I pulled my jeans off their
hanger as well as a t-shirt, and put them on.
I walked over to the mirror and looked at my tangled up hair, reaching for my
hairbrush that had been neatly laid out on a tiny counter.
“Leave it. We’re not going anywhere expensive. Not tonight.”
58
I jumped s Jasper just appeared behind me, his lips almost pressed to the side of
my neck. He smiled and quickly combed his fingers through my hair, only stopping for a
second to smell it.
“Honey and almond? You’ve changed shampoo.”
“You can tell what shampoo I use? You’re a freak, Jazz.” I joked, scraping my
hair back into a ponytail.
“Actually, I saw it when I was unpacking your bag, but yes, I could smell it, too.”
his chin was now leaning on the top of my head, making a small human totem pole.
It looked like night and day. Summer and winter. Black and white. The contrast
between us was immensely different. You have never felt so small until the day you look
at your forever and realise how stunning they look compared to you.
But at least I could change how I looked. Okay, it involved sprouting wings, so it
could only be in discrete situations, but still. I could look like the perfect forever next to
him. I could be the supermodel, too.
“Well, you want to go or not?” I said, breaking the silence.
Jasper, too, had been deep in thought, his eyebrows furrowed at whatever abstract
and intelligent thoughts were buzzing through his head.
“Grab your coat. It’s nippy out.”
Chapter Twelve
There was only a thin strip of sand left on the beach. Every now and again, toes peeped
out from underneath the place where the sea licked the shore, eventually being sucked
away and out of memory.
The lights in the distance of the town looked like fairy lights, the dark silhouettes
of the houses climbing up the hills of Bournemouth looked like steps. Steps that lead to a
purple sky with lines of pink weaving in and out. Airplane trails scarred the perfect
surface whilst blending in with the cotton wool clouds.
We were walking into the salty wind so my hair was blowing behind me, the bitter
cold hitting every single inch of my face. I had the urge to clamp my jaw shut with my
hand- the incessant chattering was beginning to get on my nerves.
“Want to sit down?”
I could see the sun that had nearly sunk into the sea reflect in Jasper’s eyes, the
big ball of orange making his eyes look slightly more jade than usual.
“Here? There’s just about enough space for us to walk side by side!”
“And? We’re young. What can the sea do to us?” the sand gave a dull thud under
him as he put himself on the floor.
“Suck us in… take us under… I can see the headlines now-”
“Headlines? With a supposedly invincible person and a fairy? You’re still living
on the wrong planet.” he threw some seaweed into the sea and then patted the space next
to him.
“Maybe I want to live on the wrong planet, with wrinkles and death and
59
normality.” I sat next to him. He took my hand.

“Lily, there is no such thing as normality. Well… there is. And for you, this is it.”
He leant forward and pressed his finger to the sand. He quickly began drawing
something before sighing and quickly scrubbing it away and starting afresh.
“Why did you never tell me you were good at art?”
Now only a slither of sun floated on the surface of the sea and the water was a few
centimetres away from the edge of Jasper’s drawing.
“I always got the feeling that you hated me being ‘good’ at everything… I don’t
know. I guess I just never know how to say… I don’t like to brag.”
He swiped away his latest drawing and then froze, his eyes locked on a certain
point of sand. He was in outer space.
“When you return, know that I forgive you.” I whispered, not having the slightest
doubt that he hadn’t heard.
When the moon takes place of the sun, it doesn’t represent the end of the day. Not
to me. It represents the very same day in a different light. Everything that was foggy
before becomes clear, and vice versa.
“You have never seen the art room.”
I jumped, slightly startled by his re-entry to the atmosphere.
“What?”
“The art room. I’ll show it to you when we get back home. No one else apart from
me has ever been in.”
He was still staring at the sand but now his hand was moving in circles, scattering
it everywhere.
“If we were normal, then we would be like these grains of sand.” Jasper grabbed a
handful and let it gently slide through his fist, “We would be around and visible but not
for long. Our souls would be carted off somewhere else after we died, just like the sea
carries the sand.”
The sea began to move faster, crashing onto the invisible rocks out at sea. Tiny
splashes soon began hitting my face, the freezing water refreshing.
“Do you think that you might prefer a normal life than the one you’ve been
given?” Jasper was still engrossed in his thought train, and it was running away with him.
“I want everything to be normal, Jasper. I want to be a normal 17-year-old who
still goes to the cinema with her boyfriend. I want to be the teenager who deeply
disagrees that anything beyond the supernatural exists. In fact, I was that girl until I found
out I was a fairy. I was the disbeliever becoming the supernatural.”
Jasper looked down at me, keen to hear more.
“It’s like… I’d always dreamed of having the perfect wedding, the whole white
thing going on. I wanted the dream house, the dream husband and the dream kids.
Although when I found out that I had forever to earn that, it didn’t feel so special. Half
the point of being with someone you love is knowing that you will grow old with them.” I
looked down at my feet as the sea began washing the bottom of my shoes. I decided that I
didn’t care. “You said that this was normality for me. It isn’t. It’s going to be normality
for Tulip, and maybe Roman, but I had sixteen years growing up in a ‘normal’
environment and one day, out of the blue, I had all the dreams of a ‘normal’ person
ripped out of my hands, brutally beaten up and burnt in front of my very eyes.”
“So your answer is yes?” Jasper leant in towards me, his mouth slightly open.
60
“I don’t know. If I didn’t have forever, then I couldn’t have you. It’d be a waste of
your time.”
“I wouldn’t think so. Whatever little time I’d have with you would be enough for
a lifetime. And in the incredibly likely event that I would feel the same as I do now, then
there’d be no point of me going on without you. How boring would that be? Life would
be sane. I’d never have to risk death or be kidnapped by demented fairies. They said that
the love of Romeo and Juliet was written in the stars. Well what is the likelihood of
bumping into someone like me, who just seems perfect for you? Who can spend the rest
of eternity with you? It can’t be coincidence.”
I got up as my heels began to get soaking, the cold shooting straight through to
my bones. Maybe I did care. Jasper followed, shaking his jacket off and putting it around
my shoulders.
“Won’t you get cold?” I asked, still thinking about his reasoning.
“Not that I know of. You light my fire, baby.” he growled, his playing voice back
on.
“You’re nuts!” I squealed as he bit my hair. I began walking quickly, trying to get
away.
“Me? Nuts? Calling Lily! Earth to Lily! Are you receiving? We need you back
down here pronto!” he held an imaginary walkie-talkie up to his mouth.
I stopped mid step and turned to face him.
“Look at our footprints.” I whispered before kissing under his ear.
“What footprints?” he half smiled, looking at me dangerously.
“Exactly.”
“What’s your point?” he arched one eyebrow.
“We can’t leave any imprint on the Earth.” he had the chance to be philosophical.
Now it was my go.
“I don’t get you.” he pulled me in close to his body, the musky smell that was
now so familiar to me almost knocked me off balance.
“To do this, Jasper, we can’t leave any imprints on the earth. You can’t become a
famous artist. I can’t… do whatever. I know that in your head somewhere, there is a plan
for you to live a normal life, but we can never do it. Not with the constant moving and the
never growing old. It’s more or less just going to have to be you, me, my family, your
family and the few friends we make over the years.”
“Lily, that is all I need! And who ever said I wanted to be a famous artist?” he
rubbed something off my face with his thumb, “Bit of sand. Sorry.”
I smiled, knowing that just maybe, I could live with that, too.
“Right. To the swimming pool we go!” Jasper grabbed my hand and began darting
off along the sand, jumping over the line of foam that crept up the beach with every
wave.
“The swimming pool?” I had heard nothing of a swimming pool.
I didn’t want to go to a swimming pool. I didn’t like swimming.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to wear a swimming costume or anything. And no one
else will be there-”
“You booked the whole thing out again?!” I tried to yank my hand out of his to no
avail. Jasper stopped instead, “You know how I hate it when you do that!”
“Who said I’ve paid? Do you honestly think a swimming pool would be open this
61
late? Swimming pools open at 10 o‘clock. Crazy talk I tell you!”

He laughed as he read the expression on my face. The time really had flown! It
always seemed to stand still when I was around him. I stuck my tongue out at him.
“We’re breaking in.”
Badass suited Jasper. The dangerous smile and hint of daredevil in his eyes look
exquisite, yet the contrast was strong. It was sort of like seeing fire on water - two
opposites managing to mix together. Angelic Jasper looking devilish.
“What?” I didn’t believe what I had just heard.
“I said, we’re breaking in.” that look was back on his face again. I couldn’t help
but quickly kiss his lips.
“I don’t want to. What if we get caught?”
I was used to butterflies when I was around Jasper. For once, the butterflies
remained caged. Instead, the chemical testing lab had had a major accident, and the acid
was spilling out all over the tiny roads and houses of the town inside my tummy.
“Us? Caught? With my skills?” he looked at me through his forest of lashes, “As
if. Superman, eat your heart out.”
“Honestly! What if we were! My Dad would slaughter you! You wouldn’t even
get the chance to blink before-”
Jasper put his hand over my mouth. My lips were still moving, and I was still
speaking, but all you could hear were muffled words.
“Lily Bumble. I promise you we won’t get caught. I swear on my life, and your
life. We won’t.” he was gazing down at me intensely, his hair flopping in front of his
eyes.
I instantly went calm. The strange sort of calm where you feel like nothing could
ever go wrong again. The sort of calm where when you look back, you don’t even know
what you were worrying about. I was hypnotised.
Jasper grabbed my hand and began running along the beach once again, the
strength it was taking to run at a normal speed painfully obvious. I still hadn’t woken up
from my trance.
“It’s not far. About five minutes away!” his voice was higher than usual, his
cheeks beginning to flush slightly in the wind. I could feel the excitement pulsate from
him, like some strange sort of electric force.
It was luck that the streets were empty. I could just see everyone turning to look at
two people running down the pavement without making a single sound with their feet. Or
would they even notice? Would we be just another couple of misguided teenagers who
thought they were invincible?
Maybe every single time someone looked at a person and thought that they had
never actually pondered on the fact that maybe they were something invincible. Or as
close to it as you could possibly get.
I didn’t notice the roads we went down. I didn’t notice if anyone else was around.
I didn’t realise that whilst we were running, splatters of rain had begun to fall onto the
pavement. I didn’t realise a thing apart from my thoughts and Jasper’s touch until I heard
a window smash.
I scrunched my face up and got ready to run, prepared for the wailing of a burglar
alarm or for a security guard armed with a dog to come running around the corner.
“You look so funny. Nothing’s coming. Come on!”
62
Jasper had jumped in the window and opened the door from the inside. Gushes of
moist air came streaming out and I bundled myself inside, glad to feel the warmth against
my skin.
“Two kids for your late night swimming please. Free? Oh, thanks so much!” he
pretended to talk to someone behind the desk. He leant over the counter and pressed a
button whilst kicking open the gate with the other foot.
I rolled my eyes at him before scurrying through to wait for him the other side.
“Just in case anything comes, come straight to me and I’ll magic us out of here.”
he winked and dragged me towards the changing rooms.
I mentally froze as I envisioned Jasper looking God-worthy in his trunks with me,
the shrinking violet, beside him in a revealing bikini, all my flaws on show. The thought
made me sick.
I did a 180 and began to turn to run out and try and get back to our little house,
but even if I had managed to get out, I wouldn’t have known the way home.
“Hey! Where do you think you’re going?” he had caught my hand without even
having to turn. Butt hole.
“Jazz… what are we going to wear?” I flashed scarlet making my previous
thoughts unbearably obvious.
“Well, I was thinking that we’d go in like this. Or, I could quickly run back to the
shop at the front and buy some clothes. And a towel… and one of those really cool foam
bendy things…” he held his thumb up and ran off, returning a few seconds later with a
pile of clothes, some towels and the foam toy.
“Jazz. This is insane!” I giggled as he whacked me softly round the head with the
bit of foam.
“Last one in is a rotten egg!” he swooped down to kiss me before dashing off,
making the only thing leading me to the pool entrance the sound of his voice.
“Wait! You didn’t steal that stuff did you?” I ran my fingers along the wall,
making sure to watch where I trod.
“Steal? No. If anything, I left them double the money.”
I screamed as he jumped out behind me and pulled me into him.
“I might kill you, Jazz!” I fumed, still scared out of my skin.
“Told you you’d be the death of me!” he laughed.
I knew he only laughed for a few seconds, but it echoed back ten times more. The
reflection of the water danced on the dark walls, the transparent squiggles looking so
perfect and serene.
“Darn… it’s a bit cold. I’ll turn the heating up.” Jasper had removed his shoe and
put his foot in. He hadn’t even shivered.
“Jazz? How come you know all this stuff about swimming pools?”
His track record ran through my mind as I tried to remember if he had ever
mentioned anything about breaking into swimming pools with girls before.
“You know… I don’t. Just a case of running around so fast that you can’t see. Oh,
and I used to come here quite a bit when I was little.” he was dipping his foot back into
the water again, “Warms up fast this one does!”
“Jazz-”
I was interrupted by the splash of Jasper hitting the water. Some of it got me. I
shrank away, managing to avoid the most of it.
63
“Lily, my love. Come and join me.”

I kicked off my shoes and threw Jasper’s jacket to the floor. I then peeled back my
jacket and flung that away too.
“No more, Lily. I might get carried away.” he purred, the words sending zaps of
electricity up and through my veins. The hair on my arms stood up at the images running
through my mind.
I pinched myself until I was back in the room, and walked over to the edge. I
wiggled my toes so they were peeking over.
“Get ready then, Jazz.” I smiled, trying to make it as flirtatious as possible.
“I was born ready.”
I jumped.
Chapter Thirteen
Jasper’s hair had turned brown in the water and was sticking to his face in straight
strands. His arms were held wide open and the smile that I knew so well and loved so
much had been turned on. I swam as gracefully as I could towards him and into his arms.
“You don’t need to try to be graceful. I’ve told you before that you have natural
grace. That is how I should’ve guessed.”
I frowned at him, “Silly Jasper. Now tell me, what exactly are we supposed to do
in here?”
Jasper put his fingers on his chin and began rubbing it, sticking his tongue out in
the process. I couldn’t help but laugh.
“You look like a monkey!”
“Does Lily like monkey? Does she?” he pulled me into him so tight that any
water that was there had been forced out. I could feel his heart beat against mine.
“I don’t like monkey.” I wet my hand and flicked some water in his face, “I love
monkey.”
Jazz began wading backwards, taking me with him. I could feel my hair begin to
separate out as Jasper’s had. I quickly ducked under water again as he pulled me along,
the water making a strange sound as it washed past my ears.
“Well that’s good news, then.” he whispered to me as soon as I resurfaced,
“Because monkey loves you, too.”
“I know. It’s unfortunate isn’t it?”
“Unfortunate? I think that it is possibly the best thing in the entire world! Better
than toast, in fact.” he began kissing the crease between my head and my neck.
“Toast?” I questioned, leaning my head back a bit as Jasper turned me and pinned
me against the tiled wall.
“Yes. Toast.” he began running his fingers down my spine, pressing ever so
gently.
64
“You’re going to put things in my head that aren’t allowed. Please stop.” I put my
hands on his shoulders and pushed back, tying to push him off.
“What?” he looked taken aback. For once, he was the one being hurt with the
rejection that I felt almost every day.
“I said, I’m going to get carried away. And you won’t let me. So why should I
bother letting myself get hurt?” I dragged my hand through the water in a figure of eight
making my own current.
“Lily... I… I never knew you felt like that… Well, never knew you felt that
bad…” he turned away so I couldn’t see his face and walked off to the middle of the
pool, “And you don’t think it kills me?”
I sighed and rolled my eyes, “I know that it’s hard for you, but you can continue
because you’re the one who has to stop me! No one’s stopping you!”
“You know, we might have to get out soon.” Jasper changed the subject,
obviously understanding exactly what I had meant, even if it seemed to make little sense
once it left my mind and had escaped into the world.
“You’ll have to catch me first.”
I dived under the water and swam as quickly as I could to the other end of the
pool, my soaking clothes weighing me down tremendously. I could feel Jasper’s hand
catching my foot every now and again. Somehow, I always managed to speed up before
he got more than my toes.
“You’re fast in the water!” he stopped for a second to catch his breath.
I stopped mid stroke and began swimming back to him, my arms beginning to feel
loose and weak after the strenuous exercise, “You’re fast on land.”
Jasper placed his finger to his lips and hushed me before turning around and
beginning to listen intently to whatever was going on nearby that I couldn’t hear.
I paddled my way up to him, trying to avoid making any sort of splash. Once
again, the acid factory in my tummy had a meltdown, the big red warning siren whirring
and flashing around my head.
“Lily… Can you transform into a fairy… just for a moment?”
I could tell he was still listening to whatever was going on. Wherever it was and
whoever it was. I didn’t want to question him, to break his concentration, so I agreed.
As I sat on the edge in position, the golden sparkles flying around me and floating
on the surface of the water, I got an exhilarating jolt of adrenaline rushing through my
veins.
It had been so long since I had last had to do this, that I had forgotten exactly how
it felt. Once the stinging in my eyes had stopped, I leant over the edge of the pool and
looked into the water.
Flawless.
Now I was worthy of standing next to Jasper.
“It’s just a precaution. I think someone’s outside, but I’m not sure if they’ve
noticed anything.”
Jasper was now behind me, twisting my hair and stroking my wings. I watched
our reflection wobbling in the water, the couple now looking complete. The beauty was
with the beauty, rather than the usual beauty being with the beast.
“I still prefer your eyes being blue. Nothing will ever change that.”
He dashed off to where I had thrown the jacket’s and gathered them up, his face
65
once again unreadable yet unusually pale.

“I still prefer being normal. Nothing will ever change that.” I muttered under my
breath, forgetting for a while that he would have been able to hear that.
“Lily, here. Now. They‘re coming!”
I jerked my head round and jumped up, straight into his arms. True to his words, a
pair of urgent footsteps became audible from inside the changing rooms. The people’s
voices were muffled, although you could tell they were on guard by the gruffness of their
voices.
“This is so much harder with your wings in the way.” he pressed his lips together
tightly and screwed his eyes up as he struggled to get his arms around me, “but I guess its
my fault. Hold tight.”
The room melted away around us, as did the voices and the footsteps. Everything
around us was white, calm. Wherever we were, it wasn’t earth. At least, it wasn’t earth as
I knew it.
I felt two fingers tap my temple before the spring mattress appeared under my
bum. The first thing I noticed was the new room around me slowly came back, piece by
piece. The comfy surroundings of our holiday home let me breathe in a sigh of relief - we
hadn’t been caught.
The second thing I noticed was that I was alone. I pawed at the duvet, frantically
pulling it back as if Jasper was hiding underneath the perfectly straightened cotton. He
wasn’t there. I bit my lip, confused, as I tried to figure out what had happened.
“I’m in the bathroom!”
Confusion melted into relief as I ran into the bathroom and saw him there, sitting
in the empty bathtub, his soaked clothes still hugging him tight. He smiled when he saw
me and patted the other end with his foot.
The bathroom was modern - everything up to date. The latest standing iron bath
and the highest-tech power shower you could possibly find anywhere in the world. I
hopped in and sat down, once again feeling confused.
I quickly popped myself on the floor and sighed before I reluctantly hung my
wings up. To fit in the bath I had to go back to being beige next to Jazz’s green.
Jasper just sat there looking at me, smiling as if he had just won a medal at the
Olympics. I leant back against the end of the bath, my legs going down the side of him.
“Water?” he asked, leaning forward to reach the taps that were stuck on the side
of the tub.
“Warm. Very warm, please.” I put my knee up and rested my head on it, trying to
stop my teeth from chattering. I was now feeling incredibly cold, and I could see Jasper
was too. His cupid’s bow-shaped top lip was beginning to get blue at the edges.
“Agreed.” he whacked the hot tap with the palm of his hand and let the steamy
water flow in.
“This is um… unusual.” I tried to smile, but I shivered as the heat ran to the core
of my bones.
The water slowly rose around my waist, the steam rolling off and sticking to the
window. Jazz was playing with some of the bottles neatly lined up on the end of the bath,
pulling out the little cork stoppers and replacing them, rearranging them and chinking the
glass together like they were champagne glasses.
“I’m on another planet.” he put the sparkly-blue bottle down and ducked down so
66
he was at eye level with it.

I stared at him, a bizarre look on my face.
“What?” he sat upright suddenly, sending water to rush to my end of the bath. I
was now sitting in a manmade sea.
“Nothing. You just look funny when you go all spacey.” I stretched forward and
took the bottle, pouring out the contents. I then shook my hand on the waters surface and
watched as the bubbles formed.
“You go spacey all the time. I don’t laugh at you.” he was trying his hardest not to
smile.
“Who said I was laughing?”
Jasper slid down so his feet were touching the end of the bath either side of me
and tipped his head back. He closed his eyes and exhaled noisily as he let the heat take
over him.
“Things would be so much easier if age didn’t matter.” Jasper waved his hand
around under the water in a search for mine. I put mine in reach and jumped at his touch
when he finally found it.
“Why?”
“Then we could do whatever we want whenever we want. There would be no laws
stopping us from achieving our dreams.”
I scooped some of the bubbles up in my hand and blew them into his face. He
lazily swiped them away, the usual almighty smile stuck on his face.
“Nothing can stop us. We have forever.” I reminded him for the millionth time
that day.
“And in that forever, I’m going to make sure I have given you more than the equal
amount of kisses for your freckles.” he opened his eyes and tilted his head forward so he
was looking straight at me.
I felt my skin set on fire as I began to turn red. It was sweet that he was saying
that, but I really did hate my freckles.
“I think you’ve roughly got a couple of million on you. I’m just guessing from the
parts of you I’ve seen…” he pulled my arm out of the water and stretched it straight out
before running his finger tips up and down, “My own personal dot to dot.”
I shook my arm free and snatched it to my chest, “You’re mean.”
“Am not…” he pouted, “What do you want for Christmas?”
I twisted my hair so it was over one shoulder and frowned at him, “I don’t want
anything.”
“Tough. I’m getting you something. Same terms as last time?”
“Jasper, there is only one thing that I want at the moment, and apparently, I’m not
allowed to have it, therefore, there are to be no gifts.” I let my eyelids drop and my
muscles relax for a few seconds.
“Lily, enough about that! The quicker you move in, the quicker it’ll happen. I’m
fighting the urge right now to disobey your Dad right here right now. You just look so…
hot soaked to the bone.”
I felt like making Jasper rise to the challenge, “Well go on then. Do it. He’ll never
know.”
All my muscles went tight as Jasper grabbed me and stood up, all the water
rushing over the floor that had been inside our clothes. He was kissing me with a scary
67
force, his grip slightly hurting my arms, but I didn’t care. I was going to get what I
wanted. I wanted to kiss the ground, give an offering, sign my soul over to whatever
unanticipated force that had let this happen.
I could still taste the chlorine on his lips. I could feel his soaking t-shirt sticking to
mine like glue, his fresh breath making me blush as I actually thought over what I was
going to do. I thought that I’d have to fight more to get this, that I’d have to bribe him or
something, yet here he was, giving in.
All the stars could have fallen from the sky. The sea could have run dry. The
moon and the sun could get swapped around. I wouldn’t have cared. My mind was set on
one thing and one thing only as his hands slid up the back of my top. I opened my mouth
a tiny bit and gasped.
“Lily, get dry.”
It stopped just as quickly as it started.
My heart sunk like the sun had into the sea previously. My lips went all loose and
wobbly. I nodded silently, my lips tightly pressed together and got out of the bathtub. I
grabbed a towel off of the rack and ran as quickly as I could into the bedroom where I
collapsed into tears.
I clicked the lock shut before diving onto the bed, my tears merging in with the
damp bed sheets from where my chlorine-soaked body had hit them earlier. I could feel
bile rising from within me. My breaths were short and sharp, each one hitting me like a
knife in the chest.
“Lily? Lily?”
I heard the door rattle. I could tell Jasper was worried, but I didn’t care.
I peeled off the clothes that he had last touched and flung them at the door, the
sopping material making a horrendous slapping noise on impact. I struggled to find the
wardrobe doors through my hazy vision, my tears making everything look like they weird
and different.
I pulled on the first clothes I could find, regardless of what they were, before
returning to my position on the bed. Every inch of my body stung with rejection, the
sensation making my blood turn bitter and my skin turn cold.
“Locked doors can’t keep me out, Lily. Not anymore. And I don’t think it can
keep them out either.”
Jasper didn’t just look like he’d been crying. He also looked terrified. There was
something new in his eyes as he stood at the end of the bed sniffling and trying so hard
not to let the dam overflow.
68
Chapter Fourteen
“It started with a few things randomly going missing - that morning’s paper, the odd t-
shirt off my bedroom floor, you know, the sort of thing that you wouldn’t remember
moving anyway. Not unless you really thought about it.
“It was when we walked into dad’s office one morning that it clicked. Mum and
dad had been away researching in the Congo for a few days, and had just come back the
night before.” he swallowed, his skin beginning to look incredibly clammy, “They don’t
ever destroy research, not even if it turns out that it’s complete crap. Nothing is ever a
hundred percent true, but nothing never has no truth in it.
“The room has been turned upside down, the cupboards that were almost full to
the top with papers and notes had been destroyed to mere wood splinters. Most of the
paperwork was gone. The only bits that we could salvage were corners, or odd scraps that
had nothing to attach it to. Years and years of work was gone. There was nothing left.
Mum was distraught. Dad still hasn‘t said anything about it.”
I felt bile rising within me and burn the back of my throat as my rejection turned
into fear. A fear that I recognised purely because I had only just recently felt it.
It was the sort of fear that made you want to pull your hair out, puke and drink
yourself to death all at the same time. The sort of fear that made you want to run away
and hide in a hole, with only one other person. It was the sort of fear that made you want
to rob a bank, kill everyone that had ever hurt you and do everything bad that you could
possibly do.
Jasper hadn’t said the exact words ‘we might die’, but I knew that they were
coming. I didn’t have to be told. I just had to see the grave look in his face - a look that
would forever haunt me. It would haunt me even more so than his battered up face after
what I had led him into, and that was saying something.
“Lily, we-”
“Don’t! Don’t you dare say it! Don’t!” the pitch of my voice had escalated to new
found heights. My heart had begun to throb with new found pain.
As soon as your life is as perfect as it could possibly be, it has to be taken away.
Fairytales never have a good ending in reality. This was proof, and I was the
living stuff.
We had evaded death once before, but with possibilities coming at us again from
all sides, we weren’t meant to evade it. We weren’t meant to still be breathing.
69
“I’m… Lily… I love you, and I’m sorry. I can’t be mad at you for the Petunia
thing, because I could’ve prevented it,” he inhaled sharply and turned his face away from
mine, obviously trying to hide something, “but I can be mad at me. I can hate me. For
every single little thing that’s going to come up.”
I was frozen. I couldn’t move. I felt as if someone had surgically removed the part
of my brain that gave me mobility and had replaced it with a rock. Every single atom of
my being weighed a ton.
“Have you ever heard of William Paley?” Jasper slipped beside me and sat with
his hands clenched together in his lap.
“This is no bloody time for philosophy, Jasper! Are you freaking insane?”
A fire was raging deep inside me as I recollected the use of the name in an
Religious Education lesson. I wanted to go home and spend time with my family, spend
time with him, find out more about these ‘thing’s’ that were after Jasper and his family.
Maybe they weren’t after me. Maybe they were just after him. Although that wouldn’t
matter because I would follow him wherever he went.
“Listen, Lily! If the watch has a maker, then so do I! This was inevitable! It was
going to happen! If the watch has a maker, then so does the universe. People link the
creation of the universe to a God in some shape or form. There are wars over God. If
there are wars over the creator of the universe, then there are going to be wars of which I
am involved, but it seems that maybe I’m fighting the creator.”
Jasper was now staring at me, his watery eyes trying to make me take what he
was saying seriously.
“Jasper. We could die. And yet here we sit, talking about philosophy. Don’t you
think that I’d rather know about what the hell these things are? Exactly how long this has
been happening? How long have you been hiding this form me Jasper? Do you actually
have a plan? Was this ‘holiday’ an escape route? What games are you playing? Jasper, I
love you to hell and back -in fact, not even hell could seem half as bad as long as you
were there with me- but I can’t take the games.”
He looked startled, his face shattered. I could tell that he couldn’t stand the games
either, that they probably hurt him even more than they hurt me. As I sat on the bed, as
rigid and still as a statue, I stared at the wall, trying my best to work out the minimum
amount of time I need to say my goodbyes, trying my best to work out a plan so people
just thought that I had moved really far away and couldn’t speak to them. I had to figure
out a way to not get my family involved. That was the main thing.
“Games?” he asked, his body suddenly tense and alert.
“Maybe not games… but the hiding. Yet again you’ve hidden something from me!
Do you not think that maybe I have the right to decide whether I want to live or die? Do
you not think that maybe, for once, I’d like everything to be out in the open? I’ve had you
hiding what you are, you hiding your amazing art abilities and now the fact that my life is
on the line has just been unveiled, although you seem to have been aware for a very long
time! I feel so naked next to you! You know everything about me, yet I apparently know
nothing about you.”
“Lily, I-” he began, reaching out to touch my arm.
For once when he touched me, it wasn’t electricity running through me at a high
velocity. Instead it was rage. Rage at its purist.
I shot up and away, out of his reach. I could have sworn I could feel my blood
70
boiling. My muscles were burning hot as I tried my hardest to fight against lashing out. I
couldn’t cry. I couldn’t speak. Everything about me was jammed up, the fury taking over.
“We can do this now, though. I promise you Lily. If we get out of this first
situation, we can join Tara and Paul. We could then do something about it. Come on, Lily.
Please. I’m on my knees and begging you.” I slightly looked over my shoulder, and he
was actually on his knees.
I forced my lips to move, my teeth still tightly clenched together, “And what
then? We then run every time they come? What about my family, Jasper?” my body was
now shaking ever so slightly.
“I never said that I’d force you to move in with me… but I’m going to have to. I
don’t want to, Lily. I wanted you to make your own decision in your own time. You want
to save your family…” he paused for a moment and briefly shut his eyes, “then you
might have to keep contact to a minimum with them.”
I scrunched my face up. No one was separating me from my family. Not in a
million years.
“You’ve lost it. You honestly have.” I swung around, my hand narrowly missing a
lamp, “You want me to leave my family. And you think they won’t realise something’s
going on? They’ll either think I’m pregnant, eloping, or I’m going to die. And you
honestly expect me to keep contact with them to a minimum? Sacrifice my family
relations?”
I blinked. And it was a long blink. I saw the room tip sideways and felt the rush of
air on all sides of me shortly before I smacked the floor. My head was swimming. It was
full of fog, and however much I batted at it, or walked into it, I couldn’t see any way out
of it.
“Lily?” Jasper’s arms were around me. He was cradling me close, “We run now.
We get back to Tara and Paul-” something in Jasper’s pocket began buzzing. He swore
under his breath before wriggling it out and opening it on his chin.
I couldn’t hear the voices on the other end, but I could put down any amount of
money on who it was, and get it right.
“No, they’re here. They’re right here, in Bournemouth…I have tried to get her to
run… Mum, I’m being eaten up inside…Yes, okay. Okay… We send you both our love…
We’ll see you later.” with that, he snapped the lid shut.
This problem of ours was obviously expected. Otherwise why else would he have
a mobile when he had never had one before?
“Lily, I’m putting our stuff in our bags, okay? I’m going to lie you down on the
bed. You’re not hurt are you? My darling…” he kissed my forehead and began grumbling
under his breath.
His actions were shaky as he placed me as lightly as he could on the bed and
began pulling everything out of the wardrobe and shoved it all as forcefully as he could
into the first bag he picked up.
Every now and again, he stopped what he was doing and wondered over to me,
kissed my forehead or my neck, or held my hand. He didn’t ever need to say sorry. I
could see everything he was thinking in his eyes.
When everything was away and the bags zipped, he flipped open the phone again
and hastily tapped in a number. The dial tone didn’t even last two seconds. Whoever was
on the other end was waiting for this call.
71
“Yes, I need it. Now. Bye Padge.” he stood back and wiped his forehead, “I’m just
going to put the bags out by the front door. Then I’ll be right back to get you. I promise
you, my fairy.”
His gaze lasted longer than it should’ve. He had to physically shake out of
whatever trance he was in to gather the strength to put everything downstairs.
The back of my head was stinging like mad. Luckily, I was that angry to not care.
Jasper was being a fool. He doesn’t even know what we are up against. If it’s anything
like him, then it’ll destroy us in a single motion.
I stared up at the ceiling, tracing the swirling patterns with my eyes, trying my
hardest to memorise them and forget everything else.
Every now and again, ideas shot across my mind - how we could get out alive.
But every idea had flaws. In fact, every idea had so many flaws that were more likely to
get us killed than what we were doing now, that we might as well have painted ourselves
in glow in the dark paint and jump around, screaming “Hey! Monster things! We’re
here!”
“Right, I’ve got you.” Jasper had me picked up and standing with him next to the
door a fraction of a second before a car screeched to a sudden stop down the other end of
the alleyway.
“Padge is Afina’s husband.” he nodded at something in the darkness and tilted his
head towards the bag.
“Got it. You just get her into the car.”
I was now the human rugby ball. I was tucked under Jasper’s arm and ran straight
into the back seat, Jasper only breathing when I was planted down firmly on it.
Padge was at least a minute behind Jasper, puffing and panting as he struggled to
get the bags into the boot.
“Let me do it!” Jasper insisted angrily, vanishing from beside me out to the boot.
With no effort at all, Jasper had got them in and was slamming to boot. Padge just stood
there, his mouth dropped open.
“Oh, come on. Afina was going to tell you what I learnt just as soon as she found
out. I’m driving. You’re in shot gun.” he was constantly fidgeting and looking over his
shoulder.
Padge was nothing that I had expected. With a slightly bald patch at the top of his
and his tummy lurching over his waistband, he didn’t look at all the type to be married to
someone like Afina. If she was anything as pretty in real life as her photo (which she was
bound to be with her gene pull) then she should have been with someone who was 6 foot
3 with classic movie star looks. All Padge had was a magnificent smile.
He didn’t dare argue with Jasper as he slipped into the passenger seat. Jasper
didn’t even wait for Padge to do his buckle up before he was zooming off down the road,
the sickly smell of burning filling the car and making me nauseous.
“Afina has tickets booked for you at the airport. The flight leaves in an hour. It’s
going to Heathrow. She told me to tell you that her pregnancy is going well. We think
there’s only a few weeks left to go, now.” Padge smiled. He was obviously thinking about
the little bundle of joy that was soon to land in his home and fill it with noise and smell
and havoc.
“Padge, I really would love to listen to you… but to be quite frank, I’ve got God
only knows what following me around, possibly trying to kill my family and the one I
72
love. If you really want me to know, drop me an e-mail. You know the address.”
I was truly shocked at Jasper’s outburst. Never before had he said anything so
sharp, so hurtful to anyone. Not even Shay.
“Well they’re not after all of your family. I mean, Afina and I and the baby are
fine.”
I could see that Padge was nervous. He had shuffled as far away as you could
possibly go in a car away from Jasper.
“For all we know, Afina could be the one who bloody summoned them! Don’t
forget, Padge mate, that your wife tried to kill us. And herself too, may I add, but us as
well! And her reason being? For the sake of not befouling the earth with the awful fact
that we were different, that we were freaks. Who’s to say, that right now, she isn’t sitting
there in cahoots with something else, making a plan. You know the whole, ‘Yes, well if
we kill them first, then it’ll look like something’s after them. Then you can get rid of me
and my awful half human half thing. As for my darling husband… he’s human. He’ll
heal.’”
Padge’s face turned purple. I sunk down into the back seat and tried to hide my
face out of view from the rear-view mirror.
“You honestly still think so lowly of your sister? After all she has tried to do to
make up to you! She was young back then! What seventeen year old do you know that
wants to be so largely different?”
“I do now.” I squeaked. No one heard.
The beautiful Afina. An attempted-murderess. I could now see exactly why Jasper
didn’t like to talk about her. I could see exactly why he never saw her. The words were
still buzzing around my head. The rest of the conversation was going in, but those words
remained flitting around.
And what if she were to be the cause of all of this? Maybe she was sitting at home
with some odd being of mythical creation.
For five minutes I had forgotten about dying. I had forgotten about the things that
were after us. I had forgotten about Bournemouth, about why we were driving so fast,
about who I was trying to protect. I had forgotten my fear.
And now that I had remembered it, it stung oh so much more.
73
Chapter Fifteen
“We’re meeting Tara and Paul in the airport.”
This time on the plane, we were not first class. We were not alone. The only
conversation we had were as normal as you could possible get, especially since
conversations about running-away-from-something-unknown-because-the-likelihood-of-
it-killing-us were not exactly normal conversations. Okay. I at least tried to have normal
conversations. Jasper on the other hand, didn’t.
“And I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about Afina.” Jasper hadn’t let go of me since
our flight had began. He hadn’t stopped looking at me since Padge drove off and left us
standing on the pavement just outside the airport, “Things like that take time to tell. And
do you really think that I feel happy about telling people I have a psychotic sister who
tried to kill her whole family?”
“Jasper, don’t talk about this now. I do understand, but it’s really not the time. I
just want to get to Tara and Paul. Please.”
“I don’t think she knows about you.”
I rolled my eyes as I had once again failed to make him shut up. I wanted time to
reflect and to think, not discuss insane family members. If we lived through the night, if
we lived through the weekend, then we could discuss the good and bad points of being in
his family. Even if I wasn’t officially in his family…
“Jasper, quiet. Let’s just think of a plan. Please, I beg you.” I ran the back of my
hand down the side of his face. He turned it and kissed my knuckles.
The electricity was back.
“I hurt you earlier.” he whispered in my ear.
I flushed crimson and turned away from him, folding my legs, my arms, my
fingers, my toes - everything that I could fold or cross. I was a closed book to him now.
The reminder he had just given me made me feel like I had just been stabbed once again.
The list of problems was big. Death, rejection and nutty sister thing. Yet only one
of those things was I incredibly concerned about.
“For God’s sake Jasper! I swear! Yes, you did hurt me. You hurt me badly. You
led me on. Then again, look at the list of problems we bloody have, and tell me exactly
where you think that one sits at the minute.”
The lady beside me coughed at my outburst and gave me an angry stare. I
matched her glare and threw it back right at her. She raised her eyes to the heavens and
began jostling the woman the other side of her.
“I love you. And I think that problem actually comes high up on the list. Possibly
second.” he picked his jacket up off the floor and shook it out over me, “But you do know
that I would do anything to make you happy. And you do know that I’d do anything to
keep us both alive and together. Well, if I do that, my darling, then we won’t be alive, or
together much longer. Your dad would see to that.”
74
I took the glare that I had fired at the woman and fired it at him. All he did was
stick his tongue out and scrunch his face up.
However hard I tried to fight the smile, I knew it would show. So I let it. And I
then let him push down the arm rest separating us and pull me into his arms. Although I
was angry at him, I let him play with the bracelet that still hung so delicately around my
wrist. And I let him trace circles on my shoulder blade.
“Who’s picking us up at the other end?” my anger fading as he kissed the nape of
my neck.
“Tara and Paul.”
“Got it.” I nodded, tuning out the screaming of little children and the nattering of
everyone else that was going on around me by placing my ear to Jasper’s chest and
listening to the thumping of his heart and the rush of air entering and exiting his lungs.
“We should be there soon.”
“Jasper, I don’t know what I’d do if I never heard this sound again.” I had ignored
what he’d just said.
“If you never heard what again? The sound of a plane?” he was confused. I could
hear it in his tone of voice.
“No, silly. The sound of your heartbeat.” I moved my head a tiny bit so I could
kiss his chest before going back to listening some more.
“The sound of your heart beating is all I’ve got to live for. That’s why we’re
going to keep your heart beating. Regardless of what I have to do to keep it that way.”
I shuddered. From what I had heard a few hours ago, there was a big chance that
my heart wouldn’t be beating for much longer. And nor would his. I’d rather that the
reason we died was because Jasper had given in and dad had killed us. At least I’d have
died for a good reason.
“Lily, I know you probably can’t, but try to go to sleep. Even if it’s just for a little
while.” he tucked his jacket in around me a little bit more before resting his head on top
of mine.
A line of auburn fell in front of my eyes and there I let it stay. Somehow, Jasper
managed to drop off almost immediately. I sighed as I puzzled over how he did it.
With my thoughts to myself, I began to worry again. Everything about me felt
heavy, and my body felt like it was in a massive knot.
“Whatever they are, I could try and fight them. Turn into a fairy… get some extra
lessons off mum…” I was still trying to desperately think of a way out or a way to fight if
I had to. Fighting was my greatest weakness. As a fairy, I just about knew how to fly.
Unless I had some help, I would be useless.
But would it be dangerous to rope my mum in? What if they had tabs on Jasper’s
movements? They now knew about me, and if evil, sick and twisted creatures had
anything in common, it had to be using an object of their victims love to get to them. If
they couldn’t get to me, then they’d get to an unsuspecting family of mine to then get to
me…
“Jazz? Jazz?”
I couldn’t quite shake him awake fast enough. He sniffled a bit before slowly
opening his eyes. I took a second to reflect on how cute and defenceless he looked when
he sat like that.
“Lily, what’s wrong? They’re not on the plane are they?” he shot up and looked
75
around, his arms tightening around me forming a cage of arms.

“No! God no! And besides, I don’t know what they look like. I was just
wondering… do you think they’ve been keeping an eye on me?”
I saw the corner of his mouth twitch slightly and he pushed his hair backwards
and completely out of his face, “No. We don’t think so. We don’t see any reason why
they would need to, I mean, you’re pretty much always around me.”
I nodded and thought. That was true. After work I was always with Jazz. On
weekends, I was usually with Jazz. Every spare moment of every day that I had, I tried to
spend it with Jazz, and in the unlikely case that I couldn’t see him, then I was off down
the woods, trying my hardest to remember every single good moment I had spent in
there, right from the first meeting to the last time we had both been.
“You’re-” he paused for a yawn before starting again, “You’re worried about your
family. Don’t worry about them. Tara, Paul, me… we won’t let anything get near them.
And we won’t let anything get near you.”
I looked at him and tried to smile reassuringly. It must have got mashed up on my
face.
“You don’t believe me, do you?” suddenly he was awake and alert.
“What? Of course I do. You’ve just got to understand the family thing. I do
believe you. I believe you a hundred percent. No… more so!” I couldn’t tell, as each
words departed from my lips, if I was trying to convince him, or myself.
I leant over Jasper and slid down the blind over the window. I undid my seatbelt
and brought my knees up to my chest. I hid my face behind them, a faithful defence
system that hid my emotions from the outside world. A safe sanctuary on such a public
and confined space. On a plane, your business was everyone else’s business. I closed my
eyes to prevent myself from crying and desperately tried to bring myself back to happier
times. The time at the forefront of my mind was when the Tanner’s and the Bumble’s all
sat on the sofa, all at peace, all happy. All safe.
“We have just enough time to give you your food. Would you like anything?” I
could feel the air steward checking Jasper out. His eyebrow arched as he did a double
take. I could see that he was trying his hardest not to let a little growl out from between
his lips.
It wasn’t only women that checked Jasper out.
“Erm… no thanks. I’m not feeling too good. Jazz?”
The steward ignored me and dumped the food onto my pull down table before
doing the same for Jasper - just with a little bit more politeness for him.
“Not hungry? You’re always hungry. Try and eat a bit.”
Jasper tore the film off of the top of mine before doing the same for his. I ripped a
little bit off of the bread roll and forced it between my lips.
“Be right back!” I yelped, chucking my tray of food on top of Jasper’s and folding
up the table before shimmying my way out of the row of seats.
I sucked my tummy in as I forced my way past the trolley of food and to the
toilets. I locked the door and knelt over the toilet bowl. I was pretty sure that it wasn’t the
smell that made me sick.
When my body had finished chucking up the little food I had in there, I flushed it
away and turned to the tiny sink. Forcing my hands under the tap, I tried my best to wash
my face. I ran my fingers through my hair as best I could, the chlorine making it coarse
76
and knotty.
“Darling, are you okay?”
I jumped. Jasper was right outside the door, biting half of his lip. I nodded at
made my way back to my seat, ignoring his questions as other passengers gave me a
funny look. Surely they couldn’t have heard me?
“You’re not okay. You look awful. So pale. I mean, you’re usually pale… but not
like this. We’re landing soon. I’ll get a doctor to look at you.” he cupped the side of my
face before turning to an air hostess, “A bottle of water please.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that, sir. Please. Get into your seat and do up your seatbelt.
We’ll be landing shortly.”
“No! I need one! She’s just been sick. Come on, you don’t want to have to clean it
up, do you?” Jasper put on his best puppy dog look.
She melted in an instant. “Okay. Just for you. Now please, sir. Sit.”
I sat in the chair with my hands covering my face. Jasper’s voice was a blur to me
as he kept trying to reassure me that everything was going to be okay.
I only took my hands away from my eyes when I felt a bottle of water being
placed to my lips. I snatched it out of Jasper’s hand and gulped it down. I felt it run
through me leaving a trail of ice.
As soon as the last drop had entered my body, I went back to my hiding position.
You may not know what’s coming when you’re sitting in the dark, but sometimes not
knowing is less scary than knowing. If that makes any sense.
“We’ve landed. Come on, darling. Tara and Paul are waiting.” Jasper was shaking
me gently, trying to prise me out of my shell.
“Okay, okay. I’m coming!”
I jumped out of my seat and slowly edged out of the plane and onto the tarmac. Of
course, Jazz wouldn’t let me walk very far in this state. I was surprised he let me walk
down the stairs.
“Up you go. Sleep. Now.”
I rested my head on his shoulder and inhaled him deeply. The smells of
familiarity. And of safety. What pleasant smells they are.
I wasn’t sleeping, but my eyes were firmly closed. In almost no time at all we had
gotten through security and collected out bags - almost as fast as when we had flown first
class.
“Is she okay? Has anything happened? We’re so sorry!”
I popped one eye open and saw Tara standing with her arms open wide, ready to
collect me and give Jasper a rest. Her hair was the perfection it always was, her make-up
just as flawless as if she had just had it done by a professional make-up artist. Then again,
being alive for however many years must give you time to perfect things like that.
“No, we’re fine. She was just a little sick is all. Can we go now? Please.
Somewhere more… private?” Jasper held me tighter and closer to his chest, obviously
not willing to let his mum carry me. Although even with the super strength that Tara had,
her holding me would look incredibly odd and seemed impossible.
“Okay. Well, the car’s outside. Paul’s in it. I’ll put the bags in the boot, you strap
her in. Deal?”
She didn’t wait for a reply. Her dainty footsteps started tapping their way across
the floor.
77
“Got it.” he whispered, before following behind her.

“We’re going to live.” I whispered, forgetting that he’d be able to hear as well.
“Yes, Lily. That’s what I’ve been telling you all along. We’ll make it. I promise.”
he pulled me in even closer as we exited outside. If he pulled me in much closer, then I
would’ve ended up inside of him.
The car was new. Brand new. It was dark, and big, and menacing. It didn’t look
fast, it just looked safe. The smell of new leather was overwhelming as Jasper slid me
along and into the back. I shoved my sleeve over my nose to try and cover the smell up.
When I realised that that didn’t work, I buried my face into Jasper’s sleeve.
“Nice! Dad’s splashed out a bit then? How long’s it going to take us to get to
him? Lily’s anxious. And I hate seeing her like this.” Jasper talked as if I wasn’t even
awake. Paul sat silently in the passenger seat.
“Not too long… if we pick up some speeding fines on the way. Use bus lanes…
you know… the whole illegal thing…shoot! We just ran a red light… What a shame.”
Tara had always looked such an innocent creature. Yet behind the wheel with her
eyes narrowed and hew teeth sinking into her bottom lip, she looked badass.
She squealed with delight as she floored the accelerator as the lights turned amber
and cheered herself when she beat every other car off the starting mark. I could just tell
people were cursing and giving us the finger from behind - I didn’t need to look.
“So, you found out anything else about these things that are after us?”
Tara turned to look at him whilst still driving manically. I gasped and slipped
down the seat. If we managed to escape the things, then Tara was surely going to kill us
with her careless driving.
78
Chapter Sixteen
“We’ve been trying so hard!”
Tara had pulled over to the hard shoulder of the motorway and flung arms
dramatically over the steering wheel. I could hear before she started talking that she was
trying to stop herself from breaking down - her breathing was choked.
“Mum, it’s fine. Please, calm down.” Jasper leant forward and rubbed his mums
back, “Or I could drive. Going anywhere special?”
“No, no Jasper. You stay with Lily. She still looks a tiny bit peaky. I’ll drive.” Paul
finally became animated again, although he wasn’t his usual self. He looked tired and
withdrawn and regardless of the fact that whatever he was he couldn’t age, he looked old.
Paul looked like what he was doing was as easy as breathing as he effortlessly
lifted Tara up and over him and into his seat, as he slid underneath her and into her seat.
Tara didn’t move from her position - she was truly frozen.
The only time she did move on the journey was to look longingly at Paul, the sort
of look that Jasper had given me earlier. The look where you know that you’re at the end
of the road, but hey, the journey was fabulous just because you were in it, and as long as
when we go, we’re together, it can’t hurt half as much. And the look tore me in two. Paul
shook his head and began driving almost as still as when he was in shotgun.
I scratched the door and sat bolt upright as my tummy whirred again, “Stop the
car!” I clamped my hand over my mouth as Jasper pulled the release handle.
The door popped open and I stuck my head out, the stench of car fumes making
me feel even more nauseous. Jasper held brushed my hair out of the way as he shouted
something to his parents. I couldn’t hear. The drone of the lorries as they rushed past
made me temporarily deaf.
I gave Jasper an apologetic look as I thought my stomach was once again empty.
He just passed me a bottle of water and nodded towards the rear view mirror.
“She feeling any better? Does she want any medicine?” Tara’s eyes were wide,
the white of her eyes bigger than they had ever been before.
I shook my head followed by a nod. A packet of paracetamol was chucked
precisely into my lap. I hastily tore open the box and popped out a couple of the perfectly
shaped white tablets and gulped them down with the water.
“What has she eaten?” Paul had his head turned as far as it would go so he could
see us.
“Nothing that would have given her food poisoning if that’s what you were
thinking.” Jasper stated, squeezing my knee.
Paul looked back at the road, giving a quick sideward glance to Tara, “Actually, it
was Tara who was wondering. She was also wondering how Afina is.”
Jasper slid away from me and to the other side of the car. The gloomy atmosphere
of the car became instantly gloomier, the thick cloud that had surrounded us became
denser.
“If she really was sorry, then she would have more contact with us than phone
calls and letters. If she was really sorry, she’d make more of an effort. If she was really
sorry… You guys might be able to forgive her, but I can’t. It’s not as easy as that. As far
as I’m concerned, she’s dead.”
79
Tara snapped her head round, her expression making me yelp a bit. Such a
beautiful person with such a threatening smile.
“I think you’ll find, Jasper, that she’s having a baby! We should be making more
of an effort to see her! And everyone, even whatever we are, makes mistakes. I never
knew you could be so selfish!” A curl fell out of place. She only paused to fix it back into
position, “She could have just saved your life! If she hadn’t have been willing to give out
her husband to you, then where would you have been?”
I scrunched up into a tight little ball and feigned sleep, peeking out every now and
again from the tiny gap between my knees. Tara still looked like she was about to rip
Jasper to shreds, her mouth still in one angry, thin line.
“I said that you might be able to forgive her! To be honest I don’t think trying to
set your whole family alight is forgivable, or even sane! She’s mad in the head! She’s
sick! Her poor child…” Jasper blinked hard as he thought of his future niece or nephew.
“What do you mean that poor child? She was only 18 when she did it! Do you
really think that her hormones had settled down enough to tell the difference between
being different and being abnormal? And her child will be fine!”
Tara’s stillness was scaring me. The only part of her body that was moving were
her lips. With the amount of anger that seemed to be emitting off her in incredibly
dangerous levels, I would have thought she’d have been tearing the car up, or at the very
least shaking.
“Mum. Never once have I thought about destroying myself or anyone else. Never
once has such a demented thought crossed my mind. Ever. So stop giving me bull crap
and face up to the truth. You bred a freak. And I do hope her child will be alright. Or
maybe Afina will find a half human half thing baby too much to cope with and kill that
too.”
I stretched my arm out towards Jasper and searched for his hand. When I couldn’t
find it, he put his in mine and left it there, limp.
“She will not hurt that baby! And the only reason why you are not planning to kill
everyone is because you have Lily! Think about it. Afina thought we were the only things
like it out there, that she was destined to a life on loneliness. A life like that to a 17-year-
old girl is heartbreaking. A life like that to anyone is heartbreaking. That is why she
wanted to end this all. And you would too, one day. You would get to the age, where you
would realise that living alone forever is not nice. You were lucky enough to discover
Lily before it was too late, because you, Jasper, are much cleverer than Afina. You’re also
much stronger. We would never have stood a chance if you went off the rails.”
Her voice was wavering. She dabbed her eyes delicately with a tissue before
turning back around and pulling down the sun visor. In the tiny mirror inset in it, she
began re-applying her lipstick.
“She still has the same problem now. Padge isn’t going to live forever.”
I wriggled my foot as pins and needles began to gather. I felt as if I didn’t actually
exist, or as if I were deaf. I had wanted to find out what Afina had done, but not right now
and not like this. I’d heard the saying that the prettiest people do the ugliest things, but
this was beyond ugly. There wasn’t even a word to describe the now grim opinion I had
of Afina. The story itself made me feel even more sick.
“You’re right. But we’re going to find a way to make him live forever. And if the
baby can’t live forever, then we’ll find a way there, too. If you can have someone forever,
80
then she deserves someone forever too.” Paul nodded his head in a definite way before
turning off the motorway.
“Maybe she doesn’t deserve a forever! Screwed up little-”
“Jasper. We’re ending this conversation here. There’s bigger fish to fry.” Paul had
a rough edge to his voice - something I never thought possible for a man with such a
serene personality.
Then again, anything is possible. And I was witness to that.
Jasper thumped the car door angrily and cursed out loud. Tara and Paul sat their
silently as the single curse turned into a string of profanities, each obviously aimed at
Afina.
I undid my seatbelt and shuffled over to him, resting my head on his shoulder. He
shrugged it to try and get my head off. It hurt, but I took the hint and slid back to my seat.
“No, Lily. I didn’t meant that. Come back. I’m sorry.”
Half a person. He was only half a person.
I did go back to his shoulder, where he then wrapped his arms around me and
sung something faintly under his breath. However out of tune it seemed to the rest of the
world, his singing was always beautiful to me.
“We were supposed to have a glorious forever, you and I. We were supposed to
stop ageing at whatever age, get married however you wanted - in the snow, in a desert,
wherever, whenever. We were supposed to see our kids running around the garden, watch
them grow up, too. However optimistic I try to be at the moment, I still can’t see a way
out without someone dying. And I always get the worst feeling that it’s going to be me.”
Although he was whispering, Paul and Tara could obviously heard. And they were
obviously talking to each other through their crazy little mind reading thing. I put my
hand on Jasper’s knee and patted it.
“Jasper, don’t talk like that. Ever.”
I seemed to be too nervous to cry. I had just had an information overload, too
many bad things happening at once. The discovery of death, the worrying about the
safety of my family, the truth about Afina, and the now understandable reason why Jasper
didn’t really talk about her, or think about her, and now finding out that Jasper had our
whole future planned, had literally written it in the stars - more than I had ever done. And
now the possibility of it never happening was once again so big.
“I’ve always been taught to tell the truth… You feeling any better?”
I shrugged.
“Let her get some sleep Jasper. There’s only a few turn offs to go now.” Paul
turned on the radio, “Maybe you should get some sleep too.” his voice fitted smoothly
over the jazz.
I did as was suggested. I snuggled into Jasper and shut my eyes. Nonetheless,
however hard I tried to sleep, the images that flashed through my mind were enough to
deter me from sleep forever.
The images of our wedding day and children being snatched away by some cruel
shadow, flashbacks of the summer, Petunia’s twisted smile and the way she just let th
people she supposedly loved go, Afina going mad and trying to torch her family…
She was only a year older than me. That thought was what scared me the most.
Even now I still didn’t accept being a fairy. Would I have done the same to my family?
Would I have gladly torched them all just because I had never come to terms with the fact
81
that I was different and not a mutant.

Different was the key word to everyone apart from Afina and I. In the case of
Afina and I, mutant was the only word that would fit in properly.
I bit my lips hard to stop myself from crying. I had been judging Afina for the past
half an hour, yet I probably would have done the same. If I hadn’t found Jasper, then I
would’ve probably tried to kill my family, too.
I wasn’t just a fairy.
I was a monster.
And a selfish one at that.
My shoulders started shaking violently as I scrunched up Jasper’s t-shirt in my
hands. I kept my eyes shut tight, fighting against the tears, fighting against letting Jasper
see me upset. I had to be as strong for him as he had for me.
Even if it killed me.
“Lily, sweetheart? Lily? What’s the matter?” Tara’s honey-sweet voice was right
in my ear, “Oh well that’s a silly question. Of course I know what the matter is…
Everything will be okay. There are ways out of this, sweetheart, but you’re just going to
have to do as we ask.”
“I’m not upset about that. I’m just angry at me! I’m- I’m…” I choked. The ocean
of tears broke free. “I’m a monster!”
Jasper kissed my tears, “Lily. Whatever is going on inside your head is wrong.
You are not a monster. You have the prettiest soul ever. Do you remember what I told you
in the woods that day? You soul is something from beyond this world. And it really is. So
pure, so innocent.”
“I agree,” Tara added, “If you’re a monster, Lily, then you’re a very, very sweet
monster.”
I wailed. “I am a monster! If it wasn’t for Jasper, I’d probably have killed my
family too! I hate being a freak! I can’t stand it!”
Tara and Jasper both spoke at the same time, drowning each other’s words out.
Even if I could’ve heard them, they wouldn’t have changed my mind about what I
thought of myself. Only I could do that. And I didn’t think I could when I knew it was the
truth.
The sound of traffic thinned out, the trees lining the road becoming denser and
more like woodland. The lights looked pretty as my watery eyes blurred the beams. I
sucked in some air and hushed up.
“In about five minutes, Lily, you’re going to be at your new home.” Tara kissed
my cheek before popping back into the front seat.
“My… Jasper?” I might have stopped crying, but it wouldn’t take a lot to start it
up again.
“There is a plan that we’ve set up. You’re probably not going to like it… but you
did say that you wanted to protect your family.” Jasper’s face was nothing but a huge
sorry. “You’re going to move in with me. That way, your family is separate from us, and
they should definitely be safe. We don’t have to tell them until Sunday evening, when
you’re supposed to be coming back, so you’ve got time to settle.”
He was saying it so calmly it was unreal.
“What are you playing at? Moving in? Now? Right now? As in… in five minutes
time we’re going to be officially living under the same roof?! Do I not get any say in the
82
matter? Do I not have a voice?”

I was in hysterics again.
“Lily, you might like it. I wish there was another way… that you could move in
when you were ready, but right now, there isn’t any other option. Just bare with me. I do
love you, after all.”
The car sped up, the distances between houses shortened. I sucked in some more
air to try and regain myself once again.
I was just going to have to deal with it.
This was my only option unless I wanted to risk getting my family involved.
I clamped my eyes shut as the car pulled into a driveway. I didn’t want to see the
building which was going to be holding me against my will.
There was only one thing that I could think of that I might like being in that
house. And that was being alone with Jasper.
“Lily Bumble. Welcome to your new house.”
Chapter Seventeen
I tried my hardest to look at least the tiniest bit pleased with the building that lay before
me. It wasn’t that I didn’t like the picturesque detached house from what I could see in
83
the dark, because I actually quite liked it with its Tudor beams standing out against the
whitewashed walls. It was because I wasn’t ready to move in with Jasper yet.
The things people do for their family are crazy.
I wasn’t just worried about living there, just him and I. If anything, I was sort of
excited. Time together, completely alone, undisturbed… no boundaries… I was terrified
of what my dad would say. I could see his face turning purple now, his fists balling up,
the veins in his arms protruding as he strained to calm himself down.
The windows in the front were huge, almost filling out the front wall. The front
garden was paved over with a tiny border of shrubs going around the edge. The garage sat
to the right of the house, an extra room added on top. It looked ancient, yet new. The sort
of thing I loved.
“Do you like it?”
I swallowed hard and tried to forget the circumstances around the move. I tried to
imagine myself in a happy, safe place, that I had made this decision to move in. It was all
me.
“It’s pretty. Just what I like. Thank you.” I had attempted to put enthusiasm in my
voice but it had dried up. I sounded like a robot.
“We know you like it, Lily. When this is over, you can appreciate it.” Tara gave
me a peck on the cheek followed by Paul who gave me a hug.
“Jasper, we’ll ring later tonight. You just make sure that everything’s okay.” and
with that, they chucked a set of keys and Jasper and both got into the car and drove away,
leaving Jasper sitting on the wall and me staring at the empty space where the car had
been.
I scuffed my foot on the ground and fiddled with my hands, uncertain of what the
right thing to say was, of when to say it. Should I walk up to the door and demand to see
the house? Should I get the keys off of Jasper and then go and cry alone in our room?
Did we even have our own room, or was I doomed to separate rooms until my dad
would be happy with that? I mean, in Bournemouth we’d have slept in the same bed, but
that’s a holiday. This would be for real.
And how would Tulip and Roman take me leaving? So we hadn’t been as close as
when I was 12, especially recently, but they had always been quite a big part of my life.
As big as brothers and sisters could get.
It would be strange not waking up to the sound of children running around and
screaming, or hearing their petty arguments about what to watch on TV. A house with two
people in would seem so empty.
And I can’t cook for toffee. Mum had always cooked before, I only ever helped
out with things like peeling the potatoes or chopping up the carrots. And I don’t do the
washing very often… what if I muck that up? This could all go very wrong…
“Oh, stop it!” I growled to myself, feeling ridiculous.
I had been standing there contemplating what could go wrong with the house
when I should really be worrying about what could go wrong with my life, with Jasper’s
life - our life.
“Stop what?” Jasper was instantly in front of me, his hands on my shoulders.
“Nothing. I’m just being-”
I ran towards the door, hoping it was unlocked. I was holding my breath, hoping
that if I starved myself of oxygen that my stomach muscles wouldn’t work, or at least
84
would hold on until I got to the toilet.

Jasper picked me up and unlocked the door at the same time then ran me to the
toilet. I didn’t have time to take in my surroundings as I threw my head over the toilet
bowl - the only thing I did notice was that it smelt a damn lot nicer than the plane loo.
“You need to stop being so worried. In all honesty, I wasn’t as worried as you see
to be when the Other’s had me. Somehow I knew you were going to save me. Don’t you
have the same amount of faith in me as I did you?”
I held my finger up to tell him to wait a minute just in case he hadn’t realised that
I was too busy retching.
“Oh yeah… sorry…”
I got up and turned the tap on and cupped my hands, letting the cool water wash
in. I gurgled some around my mouth before splashing my face and then slumped down
the side of the shower cubicle.
“Jasper. You probably weren’t worried because… at the end of the day… you
were the one to get yourself out anyways. You also probably weren’t worried because we
knew what we were up against, and exactly how we could destroy them. You on the other
hand… you know nothing. You understand nothing. Do you even know why they are
after you? How do you know that they’re not going to pulverise us within a second?”
My hair was greasy. I could feel my fingers struggling to comb through it, the
grease increasing the friction. I stood up for a quick glance in the mirror and regretted it
instantly.
Considering this had only been going on for a few hours, I already looked
defeated. I was paler than pale, my skin looked sweaty, my hair greasy and my eyes all
sunken with huge bags lying beneath them.
“Lily,” Jasper whispered, raising his hand to pull the bottom of my shirt. He was
still on the floor where he had left me, “you’re right. I don’t know any of those things.
But I do know that I seem to do crazy things for you. You make me learn stuff about
myself that I would never have known otherwise. That is why I am so confident that we
will be fine, because as long as you are around, I’ll always be learning new things about
myself.” he pulled me down and caught me in his arms.
“Jazz, do you mind if I have a shower? I look like death’s just visited, when we
all know he’s preparing to visit.”
Jasper’s speech had been cute and had raised my spirits, but there was a limit to
the amount of stuff you could learn about yourself. And somehow, I thought that things
were running out.
He nodded and pointed to a rack full of towels just beside the shower cubicle. He
quickly kissed my forehead before leaving the room.
As soon as he had closed the door, I slid the lock shut and slumped down to the
bottom. My stomach churned, my bottom lip wobbled and my eyes stung, yet I was
refusing to cry.
“Keep strong. You’ll feel better after a shower. Come on, Lils.”
I made sure the water was boiling hot and filled the room up with rolling clouds
of steam. I could just about see the cute selection of shampoo through the mist. Every
drop of water helped to loosen my muscles, to wash away my fears. As my shower
progressed, I felt the sunshine trying to burn through the cloud hanging above my head.
There was no way it could get through, but at least it was trying.
85
After I had dressed I went out into the hallway. Jasper was leaning against the
wall casually, his eyes concerned and hard. He looked up as soon as the door clicked shut
and appeared in front of me.
“Tour?” he asked. I could now see bags beginning to form under his eyes, too. I
suppose he had known for longer. Maybe I’d just been oblivious - he always tried so hard
to keep stuff hidden from me.
I nodded and slipped my hand into his. He shook his head and put my hand in his
jeans back pocket, then placed his hand on top of mine. I flushed red with embarrassment
of the location of my hand. And the hurt from the earlier rejection stung just a tiny bit
more.
I slide my free hand down the banister, my fingers running down the smooth
grooves in the dark wood, following it all the way to the swirl at the bottom. Jasper
stopped me before I could get a proper look and put a hand over my eyes.
“We’re not sure if this is exactly what you’d like. We’re not too sure about
anything at the moment, but I hope you can live with it for a while, until all this is over
and we can choose our own place.” his hand dropped from my eyes.
The downstairs was one massive room with no walls apart from the exterior ones.
They were all painted white with things like the chimney breast wallpapered with
fashionable patterned paper. The kitchen was a free standing marble bar which reminded
me a lot of Jasper’s parents kitchen, the wall behind that also wallpapered. Saucepans
hung from the top of the kitchen bar, a bowl of fruit lay on the end.
Two red sofas both faced inwards towards a corner, both in view of the fire and in
view of the TV that was hung on the wall. A vase of flowers stood elegantly in the middle
of a glass coffee table, two empty champagne glasses sitting beside it.
“Jasper, this is ridiculous.” my mouth was hanging open. I had only seen half of
the room - my feet hadn’t even left the bottom step.
He wasn’t there.
“So you don’t like it then?” his voice was sort of distant.
I made my way through the room, trying to look at every piece of furniture. There
wasn’t a lot - it was quite minimalist, but it was all so carefully arranged, so carefully
thought through.
There wasn’t much on the west side of the house - the side that I couldn’t see
before. It was pretty much just a dining table, patio doors, and a wooden door leading to
God only knows. There was a massive empty floor space that seemed to have no use. It
felt an awful waste to have it there.
“Jasper. Where the hell are you?” the hiss in my voice was uncontrollable.
“Open the door. I’m down here.”
I strode angrily towards the door, my wet hair flailing out behind me. I closed my
hand around the brass knob and jerked the door open. I fell backwards as it opened easier
than I had expected it to.
The smell of paint hit me straight away. It was overpowering, strong. I recoiled
for a moment into fresher air before taking a deep breath and holding it. I made my way
into the dimly lit room, feeling my way down a small flight of stairs.
“Great. Dark. What sort of trick is this? For goodness sake, can’t he just turn the
damn lights on? This could be a trap for all I know!” angry Lily, angry thoughts.
“I really do hope you’re not freaked out by this, Lily. I mean, I never asked your
86
permission or anything, but ever since the first time I saw you, you’ve been the only thing
on my mind. My muse changed, and it’s been stuck ever since.”
I heard something click and the light turned on. Around me were loads of
different pictures, all different shapes and sizes, made from different materials. And they
all had something to do with us.
There were pictures of my eyes, of two figures with their heads close together,
one obviously Jasper with the same shade of auburn as he had in real life, and the other
one me. There were paintings of two hands being fused together by some magical entity,
a portrait of me smiling, another of me in awe, another painting with loads of bright
colours splashed down on it.
“That colour one… it’s how you make me feel every day. So happy and bright yet
so mixed up and confused. I have loads of paintings and studies of you. I’ve filled books
and books. I think I have one of almost every facial expression you’ve ever made around
me. I just find you so captivating, so complex… You just amaze me.” he was shying
away in a corner, trying to hide his face from me.
I couldn’t find anything to say. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I wanted to cry,
but was it because I was so in awe of the art surrounding me, or because I was still scared
senseless about the events that inevitably lay ahead? I wanted to smile, but was it to stop
myself from crying, or because I actually felt happy for the first time in what felt like
eternity although it had only been a few hours.
I spun around slowly one more time, looking once more at every painting. I didn’t
even realise I was crying until Jasper jumped in my line of vision and wiped them away
with his thumbs.
“I’m taking that as you liking it.” he kissed my nose, “And what’s so ridiculous
about this house?”
I laughed lightly, “I do like it Jasper. I like all of it, and never did I ever think that
I would inspire such breathtaking things. They don’t even seem real. They seem like
something out of an imagination, a dream. And this house is ridiculous. The size of it, for
two of us! It’s hardly fair when there are people starving in the world and-”
I slapped Jasper’s chest as he kissed me, interrupting my speech.
“You do inspire such things. And you also think such silly thoughts. One minute
you’re worrying about death, then you’re worrying about starving people.”
I frowned. “Well of course I’m worrying about death. And of course I’m worrying
about starving people. All normal things to worry about. Jasper, I don’t even have enough
words to tell you exactly what I think of your paintings. All I have are actions.” I
playfully bit his bottom lip and ran a finger down the front of his chest, “And, Jazz, I am
willing to forget about everything that’s going on around us… and show you what I think
of your work.”
He raised an eyebrow at me, “Well, your dad is going to be ringing my mobile in
about ten minutes… and… God, woman! You can’t believe the urges I’m fighting again.”
I swallowed hard. “I told you earlier. Just do it. And I have moved in now, so
there is no dad to stop us… we can do… anything.”
He brushed my damp fringe out of my eyes and looked down at me, “My darling
Lily. It’s not official yet. At least wait ‘til then. It’s not too long now. Let’s get upstairs. I
don’t know about you, but I’m hungry.”
He made his way up the stairs leaving me standing alone in the room. I brushed
87
my fingers down the painting of our two hands fusing together before following after
him.
“This should have been a happy time.” I thought to myself, trying to fix my
emotions and replay the past few days in an attempt to make heads or tails of what
exactly was going on. “And the worst part is that I know that the worst is yet to come.”
Chapter Eighteen
My stomach heaved again as I caught the smell of food wafting across the room from the
free-standing kitchen. Jasper was standing behind the cooker looking almost professional,
his actions so certain and perfect that it seemed like he did nothing but cook.
I knew Jasper wanted to eat, but I sure as hell didn’t. The thought of food coming
anywhere near me at the moment was terrifying - chances were it’d just come back up
again. Why eat when chances were you were going to be dead soon anyway?
“Bright side, bright side!” I sung to myself quietly as I tried to drown out the
88
negative thoughts.
“I’ve got soup on. Want any?”
I put my hand over my mouth as my body jerked forward slightly. I dismissed the
offer by waving my hand and went to sit down on the sofa to await my dad’s call.
“Still feeling sick?” he dropped the spoon in the pan and rushed over, placing the
back of his hand to my forehead.
I whispered “Yes, sure.” as I concentrated on his concerned touch.
He took a step back and started shuffling through options in his head. “I think you
should go to bed… but you’re going to have to speak to your dad first. Think you can
manage five more minutes?”
I nodded faintly. All I seemed to have done recently was sleep.
“You sure?”
I crushed my lips on his - he looked so seductive when he arched his eyebrow. He
pulled away quite quickly and went back to the pan.
“Sorry, love. There’s only so much sick mouth I can take in one day…”
I nodded, understanding what he meant and went back up to the bathroom to
scrub my mouth fresh.
The clock in the upstairs hallway told me that the time was 3am. I counted back
the hours to see how long it has been since my heaven was shattered, since it already felt
like forever.
It had been eleven hours at the most. I supposed it was a good thing that I had
slept for so long during the day otherwise I’d be even more of a car crash right now.
I pushed open one of the other doors on the landing which I knew wasn’t the
bathroom and stuck my head round. It was like travelling back in time. The bed looked
ancient, the floorboards ancient, the fireplace ancient… the whole thing just looked
ancient. Even the bed clothes looked like they had been sitting in the sun for too many
years and had been bleached.
I wanted to sleep. I longed to sleep. I had forgotten all about my nightmares that
repeatedly attacked my imagination throughout the night, that seemed so real. You could
smell death in them. Literally. But although the bed looked old, it looked inviting.
I walked in and fell backwards onto the bed sending a cloud of dust billowing up
towards the ceiling. I batted it away from my face, choking as I inhaled it, my eyes
stinging as it fell in, tasting it as it landed on my tongue - the taste of a room not used in
donkeys years.
“Lily! Your dad’s called!”
“O…kay!” I spluttered back, crawling out of the room to the top of the stairs.
My face was red from air deprivation.
Jasper pressed the phone to his chest, “Lily, are you okay?”
I pulled myself up on the banisters and nodded before shuffling my way down on
my bum. I shook my hand for the phone.
“Lily, you okay? How’s Tara?”
I inhaled deeply and tried to postpone the coughing fit that I wanted to have. Dad
kept firing questions at me, all of which I half-heartedly answered, trying to make myself
sound as tired as possible, which wasn’t hard at such a time in the morning.
It took all my strength not to burst out crying, to tell him exactly what was going
on. I wished that I could go back in time, even for a few hours, and just be a kid again,
89
relax and have fun for a while before I started running away from things again.
“Dad, why are you calling me this late anyway?” I couldn’t help interrupting him
as the question suddenly popped into my head. My curiosity overruled.
“Jasper told me that he’d be taking you out tonight is all. He asked me not to ring
until 3 earliest because chances are you wouldn’t be in the house. Although what on earth
you guys were doing out until 3 is still beyond me. Was Tara with you? Paul? They better
have been…”
I let him drone on, his deep voice making the phone vibrate against my cheek, the
tone making my eyelids droop under the pressure of gravity…
“Lily? Lily? You there? I’m going to let you go. You must be knackered. We all
send our love! Night night!”
“Yes, all my love to everyone as well. I miss you guys. A lot. Keep safe.” I
couldn’t tell if he understood what I had said since I was speaking through a yawn, but
the weight on my shoulders felt the tiniest bit lighter after getting my message through.
As long as they knew that I loved them, it wouldn’t be as bad if something were
to happen now and I were to be killed.
I scrunched myself up and laid down on my side as I finally let the dust that had
settled in my lungs cough itself up. Jasper materialised beside me, rubbing and patting
my back trying to help me.
“You went into the wrong bedroom.” he said, picking me up and carrying me into
the right one.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t worry. We haven’t had that one cleaned up yet, but it will be soon. Lils,
you’re going to bed now, and so am I. We’ve got tough times coming up, and we need
our rest. And I still promise you that you’re safe, and you’re family’s safe. I would never
let anything or anyone hurt you, ever.” he kissed my eyelids and slipped me under some
covers.
“I love you Jazz.”
My body was exhausted. Seconds after hitting the mattress, I was out, and victim
to my own dreams - including the dream that had plagued me for so long. And the scary
thing now was that not even Jasper’s warm body beside mine was enough to fend them
off.
I could tell by the fact that I had woken up with the covers flung on the floor, my
head at the wrong end of the bed and Jasper being huddled up in a ball in the corner that I
had been sleeping violently. The shower had been a complete waste of time since my hair
was now all matted and sweaty again.
I slowly got up off the bed and heaved the duvet over Jasper, trying my best to
tuck him in without disturbing him too much. It was the first time he had looked
completely calm in ages.
I pushed my hair back and quickly escaped the room, running straight away into
the bathroom for yet another shower.
Once I’d gotten redressed, I went downstairs and grabbed myself a glass of water.
I was being unusually calm. Freakishly calm. I wasn’t acting like myself. I should have
been in a constant flow of tears, pawing at the walls, trying to find a way out of it.
I pulled out a chair at the dining table and sat down, my head in my hands, gently
massaging my forehead.
90
“It’s healthy to cry. It’s not healthy to bottle it up. Cry dammit!” I said to myself,
wondering why I was trying so hard to cry when normally I wanted to stop.
It didn’t feel like I was controlling my body anymore. Halfway through a
mouthful of water, I shoved the chair back and started looking through every draw I
could find, not knowing what I was searching for until I’d pulled out a pen and flung it
onto the table, shortly followed by some scrap paper.
“Lily? What are you doing?” Jasper was rubbing his eyes and standing at the
bottom of the stairs.
I wished that he hadn’t asked since I didn’t seem to know myself. I ignored him
and continued to let my body work on freewill, my hand beginning to furiously scrawl
words on the sheet of paper.
“Dear Mum,” I said, reading it out loud as I wrote, “Don’t miss me when I’m
gone. I’m moving out for your own safety. I’m moving out for everyone’s safety. You’ve
all been great. Just remember the good times. I will always love you. Forever.”
The pen was torn out of my hand and the paper shredded as I collapsed on the
floor, my body shaking.
“For God’s sake Lily! Stop it!” Jasper was crying too, obviously screwed up at
my behaviour.
“Jasper, I can’t. I can’t.” I spluttered, regaining control over my actions.
“Lily, I beg you! We can make this work. We really can. I promise you! Don’t do
this to me. You can’t tell anyone the real reason why you’re moving out! What are you
thinking?!” he knelt beside me, “No, what am I thinking. Forcing you to move out…
Lily, either you leave your family and they’ll definitely live, or you stay with them, and
you increase the risk of them dying. We’ve been through this. There’s no other way.”
I knew that I had heard it all before, but every time he mentioned it, it was a fresh
notion, a new stab in my side. Every time he said it, it made me feel like I was selfish, but
I wasn’t being selfish. I was being scared and insecure.
“Lily, stay calm. Please. I’ll be able to tell you if anything is coming. I’m trying
so hard to stay together for you, and it’s hard staying strong. I hate admitting that right
now I would like to be on the floor balling my eyes out, but I do. I’m not scared for
anyone else but you. Remember, Lils, that if you go, I have to go too.”
I sat up and starting breathing deeply, counting each time I inhaled and exhaled.
When I opened my eyes, the world looked clearer somehow, made more sense.
“We can do this, can’t we Jasper?” I whispered, hugging him.
“Yes, we can. And we can start by going to see Paul and Tara.”
I nodded, mentally wrapping myself up in tape to hold myself together, “But
weren’t they meant to come here?”
“Yes, but there’s been a change of plan. Some information has come through.
They have Mr Winters at the house right now.”
I was confused. Mr Winters? Who was he?
“Right, I’ll get the car out the garage, you grab something to eat. You are feeling
better than yesterday aren’t you? No more sick?”
“No more sick. I don’t want to eat at the moment though. I’ll wait in the
driveway.”
I wiped my eyes and pulled myself up. My brain ached with so much activity in
the previous days, my bones ached with so much stress and so many worries.
91
The air was fresh against my skin and it made reality just so much worse. I could
only hope that whoever this Mr Winters was, that he could shed some light on what we
were up against. Whatever information the Tanner’s could get would be of help. If it were
a way to destroy whatever was after them, it would be good, but if it was a definite way
to protect my family, it would be even better.
My mind was working at a hundred miles per hour during the drive. I was
struggling to make heads or tails of my thoughts. They all seemed to be irrational,
extreme and all had negative endings. The more I thought, the more the cloud hanging
above my head thickened.
Jasper didn’t have any music on in the car. He didn’t say a word either. His lips
were firmly pressed into a line, his forehead wrinkled with either worry or thought.
Which one it was though, I couldn’t be certain - his eyes were cold and glassy.
Tara and Paul were standing on their doorstep, hurriedly beckoning us in,
nervously looking behind us, their ears almost pricking like dogs at every unusual sound.
Their actions made me realise that what they had learnt was bad. Very bad.
I turned to look at Jasper. He looked away and pulled my under his arm.
My knees went weak and my voice box closed up on itself as the truth came
alight.
There was no way out.
Chapter Nineteen
Mr Winters didn’t have a single hair left on the top of his head. His hands were all
crinkly like autumn leaves and dry like leather. He only had one tooth left in the front of
his mouth, his nose was bulbous and red and his eyes were weary yet wise. He looked
like he had been a miner who loved a good pint down the pub with his mates after work,
argued with his wife a lot and didn’t really know his kids.
I knew all of this about him because for ten minutes I had sat there just staring. He
sat there just staring back. It was hard to believe that someone so old, someone who
looked so fragile, could potentially hold the answer to what was after us. It was hard to
believe that he could be the man, as innocent as he looked, who was going to condemn us
to death.
Tara and Paul sat on their sofa as close to each other as they could get whilst
Jasper perched me on his lap. He didn’t seem to be breathing, his movements jagged and
thought well through. Maybe he, too, were picking up the odd vibes from the decrepit
92
man who sat before us hunched up in the armchair.

“I’ll be first to break the silence then, shall I?” he smiled slyly, whistling ever so
slightly as he spoke.
I gulped, my skin crawling. Jasper pressed his hand on the side of my leg, trying
his hardest to reassure me without words.
“You don’t know what you are, do you?” he slowly got up out of the chair and
walked over towards us, shaking his finger in Jasper’s face.
Jasper just shook his head.
“There are very few of you in the world. In fact, there’s only your family, and one
outcast. You don’t have names. You’re social losers in this world. Nothing you can do is
right, and nothing you can do is wrong. If I were you,” he looked at me, giving me that
awful smile, “I’d get off his lap and get comfy. You could be here for some time.”
I gulped once again and tried to slide into the gap beside Jasper, but he wouldn’t
let me. He held onto me tighter, pulling me closer and slightly growling under his breath.
Mr Winters scowled and spun back around to sit in the chair. He casually flicked
his feet up onto the coffee table and wriggled down into his seat before starting again,
“Elves are the helpers of Father Christmas, aren’t they my child?”
I couldn’t tell if he was speaking directly to Jasper or me, but I nodded anyway.
Why I nodded, I wasn’t sure. As far as I had known until recently, fairies lived in the
garden and helped flowers grow.
“And I bet you’ve never heard of hipiliks, right?”
I shook my head, definitely knowing that I had never heard of whatever they were
before.
“Missy, what is such a lovely girl like you doing with such a screwed up bunch
of…” he paused, trying his hardest to think of a clean word to call the Tanners,
“weirdoes. I could introduce you to much nicer people…”
“Shut up.” Jasper hissed, the muscles in his legs tensing as he fought against his
instinct to beat the crap out of the old man.
“Now, now. You want my help, don’t you?” once again with the creepy smile.
“The elves, the most astounding looking creatures you would ever set your eyes on. Even
the ones consider to be the least beautiful would knock one of those supermodels dead.
Amazing they are, too. They can predict the future with great ease, disappear and
reappear, or materialise as you might call it, at the speed of light. They all have the purest
eyes imaginable, with the clearest eyesight ever to exist. What I would give in my old age
to have vision like theirs. Their souls are like the freshest water, pure, true. But don’t get
me wrong. If they let evil get in them, they’ll be overtaken as easy as A B C.”
My eyes were locked on him, watching his every movement - as he patted his
belly, rubbed his nose, licked his lips. I wanted to scream at him, to tell him to get to the
point, but I knew that if I did that, that he’d go, and leave us in a worse off position than
before.
“The hipiliks. Night demons. Pure evil, human eating creatures. They could stalk
their prey for years if they really wanted to, although a hipilik with that much patience is
incredibly rare. They read the human’s minds, reading into their every move, every
action. They get into the life of the human, planning the best and quickest way to kill
them. They can crush humans like a polystyrene cup. The only things known in existence
to withstand a hipiliks punch is another hipilik of an elf. They’re interesting too. They
93
hear heartbeats, since their eyesight isn’t incredibly good. And most important of all.
They’re invincible.”
I didn’t understand what the man was saying. They were two completely different
creatures, with two completely different backgrounds, pros and cons. I began to feel as if
Mr Winters was leading us on a wild goose chase, that maybe he was just going to spout
rubbish until we grew even more confused and lost than we were before.
“The elves and the hipiliks had been at war for many, many centuries, the elves
hating the hipiliks for their human-killing ways, despising their black souls, the hipiliks
hating the elves for trying to stop them killing the humans, trying to turn them into good
people. They never saw a way of coexisting. To them, black was black, and white was
white.”
Tara and Paul hadn’t moved since he had started talking. They had the same
spellbound look on their face as dad had when he first set his eyes on Delilah. They were
captivated, but by something that wasn’t visible on the surface, unlike Delilah.
“The elves, the crafty creatures they are, were clever enough to devise a plan.
Send in an elf in disguise as a beautiful woman, seduce the leader of the hipiliks and get
her to kill him. Whilst the community was in mourning, the elves could attack properly,
kill them all, and have a pure world.
“They sent in Aine, long blonde hair that reached her waist, a slender body,
eternal youth. Although she was 25, she didn’t look a day over 16. When Demond set
eyes on her, he was engulfed by everything about her. She had a certain air around her,
something magical, powerful, beautiful. It was literally love at first sight, and the elves
believed that they were winning.”
Jasper surreptitiously kissed the back of my neck. Mr Winters caught him doing it
and let out a loud cackle, slapping his thigh hard as he tried to calm down.
“You’re funny, you are. You better cherish her sitting right there right now,
because after she hears this she might want to run.” he wiped his mouth with the back of
his hand, “Anyway, back to the story.”
He chuckled lightly to himself before properly resuming, “The plan backfired.
Aine fell in love with Demond. She kept putting her task off. Every time she went to kill
him, she stopped. Although he was supposed to be everything she hated, there was just
something there, something beneath the surface that she couldn’t quite put her finger on.
Somehow, she felt she belonged to him, that maybe they were meant to be together, to
change the views of the world they lived in. She felt that together, they were to make
people see that the two species could live together.
“Aine and Demond had a child. They named her Morella, and for a few months,
everything was perfect. Everything was bliss. Aine kept telling the elves that she was
waiting for his game plan, that she nearly had it.
“One day, the elves got bored of waiting. They sent a small army to swarm the
manor house of which Demond, Aine and Morella lived. On the discovery of Morella,
they went straight for the kill. Demond was devastated when he realised that Aine had
been a trick, but refused to believe that she’d have had his child if she didn’t really love
him. They managed to fight the elves off, and went on the run, putting Morella in human
care.
“Unfortunately, Aine and Demond were found, killed within seconds. They died
in each others arms, their last words love dedications to each other and Morella.” he
94
laughed out loud again, looking at Jasper and I, Tara and Paul, one after the other, his
eyes darting rapidly.
“Morella grew up, knowing that she was different to other people. As she grew
older, she secluded herself from the rest of the world, more or less becoming a hermit,
trying her hardest to find out what she was. She had the perfect combination of abilities
inherited off of both the elves and the hipiliks, she just didn’t know how to use them. The
few friends she made eventually died, since she never aged after the age of 25. She felt
alone, and tried her best to make other creatures like herself that could accompany her
through her life. And she succeeded.”
He squinted at Tara and Paul before pointing at them as if accusing them of
murder, “You two, to be precise. You’re a hybrid. You’re wrong. Morella was soon
discovered by the hipiliks and destroyed, yet you two got away unscathed. They didn’t
believe that Morella had had the chance to recreate, or even had the know how. It was
only when you two started poking your nose around and hassled the wrong people for
questions that the hipiliks realised that maybe there were more. You should’ve just kept
yourself to yourself.”
Tara glared at him. Paul remained a statue.
“And how were we together?” Tara was calm. I on the other hand, wasn’t.
Mr Winters squinted at Tara and Paul, “You two were married scientists. Morella
opened up to you and you let her experiment on you. I bet you’re glad that it turns out
you’re not related? Imagine living in potential sin for however many years.” he cackled
once again.
I rubbed my cheek against Jasper’s, letting him know that I wasn’t going
anywhere. Okay, he might be half of a human-eating, night demon, hipilik thing, but he
was also half elf. And from what I had grown to know of him and his family, the good
side prevailed over the bad.
But how could we trust this stranger? He could be delusional, in need of medical
help. Who was to say that he knew any more than we actually did, and that his
imagination wasn’t running wild with him. Maybe at any minute, someone would jump
out from somewhere and shout “Surprise! You’re live on Got Fooled TV!”
“I…How can I trust you?” I stammered to the shock of Paul.
“Lily, it doesn’t matter if you trust him as such. It matters more if we do. And
what makes you think that we can’t trust him?”
I rubbed my arm, “He seems like a normal human. He could be making it all up,
seeing how far we’ll believe him. Maybe he’ll tell us in a moment that you all breathe
fire.”
Jasper sat still, not saying a word. Tara looked at Paul before looking at me.
“Lily, sweetheart. He is the other one. He’s the one he called a freak. In the world,
there’s only our family and him. We’ve seen him… do things.” she stood up and walked
over to me, bending down to whisper into my ear, “The only difference is that they don’t
know he exists. Whilst they know we do.”
I got up and rushed out into the kitchen, my anger almost setting me on fire. He
looked old, there was one of him. How dare he be the one to survive, to get out of this
situation because the Hipiliks don’t know, when we have much more to live for, when we
still have each other.
And how come he looked so old? How come, regardless of their actual age, Paul
95
and Tara had to work at looking older than 25, whilst he seemed to be a natural prune?
“Lily,” Tara began, startling me, “He looks like that because when Morella
changed him, he was already 60 years old. It didn’t make him any younger. And yes, Lily,
it is sort of fair that we are the one’s that they know about - we were the ones to ask the
questions, yearning for the answers. Now we’re getting the answers. Just in an awful
way.”
I plucked an apple out of the fruit bowl and shone it with the sides of my thumbs,
making it squeak.
“How can we trust him? Why does he know?” I was too angry to cry.
Tara sat down and kicked the chair opposite her out with her foot, gesturing for
me to sit down with her head, “Whilst we were finding out about our abilities, Mr
Winters didn’t care. He had an awful soft spot for Morella. Using this soft spot, he
uncovered the story about her, about him now. We never really new Morella, or Mr
Winters. They were both gone when we came around - we were alone and confused from
the beginning of our immortal lives. Morella knew that danger was coming, so she sent
Mr Winters away. It seemed that she had the same affection towards Mr Winters as he did
to her, so she protected him.” she dusted the table lightly with her hands as if there were
crumbs on her immaculate table. “And you have one more question to ask me.”
I tilted my head to the side slightly, puzzled by her statement.
“The question currently in your head that you’ve wanted to ask yet you’ve seem
to have forgotten about. The one about survival.”
I nodded, remembering what she was on about.
“The answer then, I presume?” Tara spread her arm across the table in my
direction, palm up.
I placed my hand in hers. “Yes please.”
“Lily, you will survive. You and your family. We will not let anything happen to
people who just happened to be involved with us at the wrong time. We are willing to do
the same for your family, as you did with Jasper - to do everything in our power to
protect you, even if it means risking ourselves.”
I choked up a bit, pulling my hand away and under the table, “You… no! If you
go, I go! I-”
“Lily, I’m sorry. The decision is final. You have to be safe. I understand what
Jasper is doing, and he’s right. Keeping your family completely out of it is the safest bet.
Now we’ve only got to focus on ourselves, and you. You, Lily, the only girl for my son,
have to live. Regardless.”
96
Chapter Twenty
I pushed my key in the lock, my fingers trembling as I hesitated to pull the handle down.
This was to be my last night in my family home, the home where I had grown up,
the home that I hadn’t envisioned me leaving for at least another year.
“Give me a yellow pie piece, please!” Tulip giggled.
I could see her feet poking off the back of her chair - she had to kneel to reach the
game board. The light filtered out of the kitchen, highlighting the whole reason why I was
moving out so soon - the safety of my family.
Jasper left my bag in the hallway, ran his hand all the way down my arm and
briefly linked our fingers together before silently leaving.
I looked around the hallway, took in the smell, the familiarity of it all. My heart
sank at the thought of leaving it and everyone else.
I slowly made my way to the kitchen, preparing my speech. I had to seem happy,
like the decision was all my own, no one else’s. There was nothing wrong with Jasper or
the Tanner’s, nothing wrong with m, and definitely nothing after them, trying to kill
them, or potentially me.
I tensed my body and put on my false smile before jumping into the room,
squeezing everyone tight, rushing around like a mad thing.
“Jasper’s asked me to move in with him! His parents have got us a house! It’s so
cute! I’m moving out tomorrow. It’s going to be great!” I repeated over and over again.
Dad frowned, “What? Now? Why? What’s the rush? I always thought you
weren’t ready to move in… Lily, spill.”
I ignored him and continued bouncing around, expressing joy that I didn’t
97
actually have.
“Lily Bumble! You park your butt down right now!”
The red face means stop. As does the red traffic light.
I zoomed into the empty chair and zipped my lip. I could now show how I really
felt.
“You’ve just got home… and you’re moving out?”
I could see how hard he was battling with himself to keep calm. I admired his
control.
I gulped, “Yes. I didn’t think I was ready before, but this weekend away with him
was an eye opener. I’m so ready to move in with him.”
“Right. So you’re ready to move in with him… this has nothing to do with the ‘s’
word?” this time mum spoke, rubbing dad’s arm.
“Absolutely nothing.” I stared into her eyes, letting her know it was the one
hundred per cent truth. Well, it was. And I was hardly going to spit the actual reason out
to them was I?
“I don’t believe you.”
My head snapped so I was looking directly at dad, flames flickering in my eyes.
“Excuse me? And even if I wanted to, I’m way past the legal age.”
“If I find out that he’s touched you, then there’ll be hell to pay. Guaranteed he
won’t be invincible for much longer. I’ll find a way to get him. You’re forbidden to move
out! There’s no way in hell! First you abandon college, now you’re seventeen and
moving in with your boyfriend… when will you have kids, Lily?! Next year? Year after
at a push? You are not allowed to go. You leave this house now, you leave it forever.”
I was stung by his harsh words although underneath it all there was the slightest
hint of gladness.
“Maybe I want to leave it forever. And have I ever struck you as the type of girl
who wants kids at this age?! I honestly don’t know what your problem is!”
Roman and Tulip had their heads on the table, their shoulders shaking. I could
hear their innocent, tiny sniffles. Whether they were upset about me leaving or the
argument going on around them I wasn’t sure.
Mum did the usual thing she did when an argument brewed - went to the sink and
started scrubbing. She slowly began working through the pile of dishes, pausing briefly to
say one thing, “Lily. It’s your choice. I’ll always let you come back.”
“Excuse me! My house! I think you’ll find that a child living in sin is not ever
coming back to my house!” dad’s eyes were almost popping out of his head.
Mum swung around, dropping the plate to the floor. Shards of porcelain flew
across the floor.
Everything seemed to stop - the clock ticking, people’s breathing… even the bad
vibes off dad seemed to stop.
I got up and placed myself behind Tulip and Roman, rubbing their backs
simultaneously, trying my hardest to comfort them as their sobs grew to cries.
“Living in sin? Who the hell do you think you are? You have not set foot in a
church for the past twenty years! And even when you went you didn’t believe a word
they said! ‘Codswallop’ I remember you calling it! So to turn around to your daughter,
deny her the freewill she gained liberty of as she entered the world, and then banish her
from the house? I’m sorry, Percy. You’re unbelievable.”
98
Dad shut up. Tulip and Roman began protesting.

“Lily, don’t leave us! Who’ll play board games with us when mum and dad go
out? Who’ll tell us silly stories and teach us bad things?!”
They both jumped on me and wrapped themselves around my legs.
“Don’t worry, kids. She won’t be going. She doesn’t want to be forbidden from
moving back in.” dad started up again, shouting more and more, repeating himself over
and over again.
I filled my lungs up with air, put my hands on Tulip and Roman’s heads, and
screamed my final decision. “I will be moving out! You have no choice! I’m doing this
for me because I feel ready to! Get the hell off of my cloud, you hypocrite!”
I turned on my heels and ran up to my room. I was too angry to cry, yet again. My
chest stung at the argument that had just occurred. I could still hear my parents yelling at
each other downstairs, still hear Roman and Tulip’s crying.
“Jasper!” I yelled, hoping that he’d materialise. It would be a great help…
He appeared in front of my wardrobe, looking more fatigued than before, “At
your… not a good time. Taking your stuff?”
I snarled at him, “Yes! And do it quick!”
He worked quickly and silently, emptying my drawers into cardboard boxes that
had been magically assembled in my room without me knowing.
“So… you’re not staying tonight? I thought you were doing this tomorrow.”
I fired a dirty look at him, “You really think I’m going to stay in a house that as
soon as I leave I’m more or less banished from? My dad is being a complete asshole.
That is the only way to put it. I’d probably wake up chained to me damn bed! I feel
absolutely awful! Do you think I’d be able to go down to breakfast knowing that none of
them had a good nights sleep because of me? At least if I leave now, I won’t have to see
it! Just hurry the duck up!”
Jasper dropped the piled of clothes he had in his hand and began laughing. “You
said duck!”
I huffed aggressively at him. He immediately stopped laughing and silently began
throwing everything into their boxes again.
“I’ll jump them all out of the window into the car. That okay?” he asked quietly,
slightly shying away behind the box he now held.
I shrugged, “Go wild. Just be careful.”
He smiled at me, calming my rage for a split second, “When am I ever not
careful?”
I bit my tongue until I tasted blood, trying my hardest not to stop and scream,
“You weren’t careful so now things are trying to kill us! What do you mean when are you
not careful?” and then I felt bad, because it hadn’t really been his fault at all.
But it’s true when they say that curiosity killed the cat.
Jasper stopped what he was doing and mouthed “I’ll be back in 5” at me, before
vanishing, leaving me alone with a bunch of boxes that my parents didn’t know were
there.
I tried pushing them down the side of my bed, half-heartedly throwing my duvet
over the top to try and disguise them, but my attempts looked suspicious, so the duvet
went back on the bed, and I continued packing. I couldn’t have cared less who walked in.
“Put the book down.” Dad had his hands out in front of him as if I had a gun,
99
walking slowly, each step thought through, “I’ve been a bit hasty. Please, Lily. Stop
packing, and go to sleep. We can talk this over in the morning.”
I dropped the book, jumping slightly when it hit the floor.
Through gritted teeth I spoke, “I will continue packing. I will continue to leave
tonight. I will also continue to do as I want, when I want. Therefore, I will ‘live in sin’ or
whatever you said. You can banish me from this house all you want. I don’t care. I love
him. This is forever. My forever. And this is how it will be. Forever.”
I picked the book back up off the floor and shoved it in the nearest box. Dad
didn’t argue back. He gave me a lost sort of look before backing out of the room and
down the stairs.
I sat down on the floor and curled myself up into a ball, comforting myself,
willing myself not to cry. I just had to pack the boxes, and I could go, and they would be
safe.
Yet my own selfishness was telling me to stuff it, to go downstairs and tell them I
wasn’t going to leave. Deep down, I wanted to risk their lives, just because I wasn’t ready
to be one to one with Jasper twenty-four seven.
I felt his hand in the small of my back, his other hand running up my leg, “My
dearest. If only I didn’t have to cause you so much pain.” was all he said. He picked up
the next box and jumped it out to the car.
“You’re only causing me as much pain as I caused you - probably less.” I thought
to myself, longing to go back in time and start again, to tell Jasper about me after the
thing with the Others had happened.
I felt mixed up and confused inside. After all, this was all even. He risked death,
now I was risking death, yet somehow I didn’t want him to have had those experiences,
and I’d rather that he had never suffered and that we were still here now. Even though I
was willing to risk my family’s life, even though I wasn’t.
I hugged myself tighter, becoming increasingly confused at my inner feelings.
Was I angry? Or scared? Or happy? Or sad? I couldn’t work out heads or tails of the hum
of emotions all swirling together, like a soup of feelings.
I jumped up when I heard a tiny rapping at the door. I wiped my face with my
hands, straightened my clothes and held my breath before letting the person in.
“Lily. I don’t want you to go.” Tulip was in her nightgown, her blonde hair almost
reaching her waist in the most perfect ringlets, “I’ll miss you too much.”
I pinged one of the intricate curls, trying not to let her words get to me. “It’ll be
okay. I’ll still visit you. Besides, I’d be moving out soon anyway.”
She pondered for a moment, scrunching up her nose, “Then why are you crying?”
I cursed her skills of body language, trying my hardest to think up an excuse…
“Because I had an argument with dad. And it upset me. Tulip, when you find love,
you’ll realise that the decision I’m making now is the right one for me to make. One day,
you’ll understand why dad’s angry, and why I want to go live with Jasper.” I kissed her
cheek.
She nodded, wrapping her arms around my waist to give me a sticky hug, “I love
you, Lily You’re the bestest big sister ever.”
“I love you too.” I whispered, watching her run out of the room, right as rain.
Once she had been reassured, she was fine.
I closed my eyes and pushed my hair back over my head, squeezing the back of
100
my neck with my hand, massaging all of the tense muscles.

“I’ll drop you off in the car. I’ll finish up here.”
I didn’t feel anything. When I opened my eyes, I was in the car, surrounded by a
fortress of cardboard.
I felt obscurely safe in my mini castle. Although cardboard was flimsy and easy to
destroy, it made me feel protected. I was carefree. I was also going insane.
“It’s cardboard for heavens sake! What good would it do to protect you? Gosh,
you’re such a loser!” my thoughts were angry, and negative, and were like a lion -
impossible to tame once they’d been wild for a while.
“Only a few more to go, then we can speed away into the horizon… and hope to
have a happily ever after soon. Promise.”
“I don’t do promises. Not from anyone.” I growled. Once upon a time, I would
have taken his promise. Now taking promises were not on the cards.
“Okay, darling. Well… even though you don’t accept it… I promise.”
I felt the car suspension dip as Jasper slammed the boot down, heard him groan as
it bounced back up again. Some boxes were shuffled around, and he attempted it again
with success.
He slid into the front seat, started the engine and drove off.
I looked out a tiny chink in the fortress of boxes at my old home. The home I
would probably never return to.
And all I could hope for was that my family knew that I loved them, and that my
dad forgave me.
101
Chapter Twenty One

Some days I would wake up, Jasper next to me, his arm wrapped protectively and
instinctively around me, and others I would wake up and find the space around me empty
and cold. Those nights I’d have had my nightmares, which were gradually escalating out
of control. The fine line between dream and reality was distorting. Sometimes my
dreams seemed so real I needed a freezing cold shower to wake me up.
The days I woke up and the bed was empty also meant the day was going to be
unpredictable. Some days Jasper would be down at the dining table, re-reading every
single scrap of research that the Tanners had managed to gather back together that had
anything to do with elves or hipiliks.
Other days, Jasper would have buried himself in his artist studio, his work
becoming darker, more tormented and screwed up. Bright colours were rarely used, if
they were it was red - angry, violent and signifying the end.
But the worst days to wake up on were the ones where he just wasn’t there.
Sometimes there would be a note, but more often than not, he’d have just disappeared,
leaving me nervous, tense, burning a path in the carpet as I retraced my steps over and
over again, longing to hear his key scratch in the lock or his car grind the gravel together.
Whatever the circumstance, regardless of if I woke up next to him or not, he still
looked tired and withdrawn. He looked even worse than after the Others had gotten to
him.
If he slept, he slept restlessly. If he ‘slept’ next to me, it consisted more of holding
me close and watching the windows and doors, listening out for noises, rather than actual
sleeping.
He thought I couldn’t tell, but the massive purple bags under his eyes were a give
away.
“Don’t get up.” I yawned, feeling his arms release me. I wriggled in closer to him,
desperate for him not to leave.
“I need to, Lils. There’s so much more I need to research. I’m doing it for you.”
102
I forced open one eye and looked at him, his hair all bed-head and sticking up. I
could see the outline of his partially unclothed body through the dark.
I stretched my arm and let it fall back ‘accidentally’ running the back of my hand
down his bare chest, “Please, Jazz. We never do anything together anymore. I’m torn
apart because I’ve just left my family, and now it feels like I’m losing you.”
He scrunched up his face, torn between saving me and saving me. What he
thought would save my life, and what he thought would save my emotions.
He lay back down as he worked out which one would actually kill me faster - the
isolation I was beginning to feel, or the hipiliks.
I got up and walked over to the window as I felt his body distance from mine. My
body numbed all over as I realised that he was choosing research over a day with me. I
angrily flung open the curtains, the metal rings scraping the pole angrily.
The light stung my eyes and the cold air that had been building up behind the
curtain slapped me, waking up every sense in my body that hadn’t really been there for
the past two weeks. But I didn’t care. I was already suffering.
“Close the curtains. You don’t know who could be watching.”
“Watching? You sound like a nervous wreck! If they haven’t done anything now,
then they won’t do anything. Don’t you see? They probably don’t care anymore! I don’t
want to watch the world around me fade away. I don’t want to live in fear of something
that none of us have seen. Jazz… if we were to die tomorrow, then I’d want to have lived
life to the full. Don’t restrict me.”
“The more research I do, the more chance there is of surviving! Then you can do
whatever you damn want!”
I forced myself upon him, wrapping myself so tightly around him that my chest
just about had enough room to expand.
“Not today. Don’t leave me alone for another day. Please.” I begged, putting on
my best puppy dog look, even though it wasn’t that hard to do.
He groaned. “You make it so hard for me to leave…”
“Dad’s not around.”
I instantly regretted my words as he jumped out of bed, angrily getting himself
dressed. His moves were automatic and thought through - as if he would let loose at any
given moment.
“Why, Lily? Why bring that up?”
I inhaled, “Because. If anything happens and we haven’t… then its something
I’ve missed out on. Because I’ve wanted to for so long, and so have you, and now we
can, and you’re hiding from me. Are you really researching or do you find me repulsive?
You can tell me upfront, because to be quite honest, I’m pretty screwed up mentally at the
moment. One more thing to the list won’t hurt at all.”
His back was still turned to me, “Don’t be ridiculous. There is not one flaw in
you. I just don’t think this conversation is appropriate, and nor would those actions be.
Please. Let me get on with my research.”
I flopped back onto the bed and pulled the duvet right over my head, submerging
myself in darkness. I gave in to him, knowing that he would never give in to me.
I felt a hand cup my face and two soft lips touch my forehead, and then
everything went still. There was no noise, or shadows fighting their way through the
white covers. I curled up, realising that he had gone again.
103
It got to the stage where I was beginning to lose track of time. I had a vague idea
of what day it was on the rare occasion that I turned on the TV and stared at it, wondering
how my family was, what they were doing.
I’d be cleaning the kitchen or doing something else to try and take my mind off
everything, and I would find myself slipping away to Roman and his football matches.
I’d get Tulip singing nursery rhymes in my head, the sweet aroma of mum’s cooking
wafting under my nose, and once in a while - very once in a while - I’d catch myself
having imaginary arguments with my dad, about my age, college, the future.
The talking began to get worse and worse as I began to see less and less of Jasper.
It also got worse as my freedom began to be restricted.
Although I hadn’t needed to, in the beginning of my imprisonment I’d been able
to go to the shops by myself. I could feel the air on my skin if I wanted to. But then…
Jasper became so protective. I was only allowed out in the garden with him. All the
shopping was done over the internet. The only people I ever saw were the Tanners, and
that was also becoming rarer as they tried to take any focus the Hipiliks might have on
me back onto them.
“Lily, they’re coming soon.”
This was to be the first conversation I’d had with Jasper in days. However much I
loved him, I was beginning to resent him.
“Can I see my family then? Call them at the very least?” I looked up at him,
pleading inside for a yes.
“Phone only. I don’t want you to risk yourself by leaving and getting them
involved.” also for the first time in days, he kissed my forehead. But it felt different. Sad.
Cold. Dying. “And I mean it when I say they’re coming soon. We’re not sure how soon,
but they’re getting prepared.”
I nodded, blocking the nasty words out, and headed straight for the phone. I could
only distinguish between night and day via the chinks in the curtains where they weren’t
completely drawn, and the small slices of light gave me enough indication that it would
be alright to call.
I mentally tied myself up with string as I head the dial tone buzzing its was down
the line, once, twice, three times. I had to pinch myself as I heard mum’s voice, chiming
its way breezily and carefree down the wire.
“Hello?” she almost sang.
I felt a ray of hope, her voice bringing a new source of sunshine into my life.
“Hey, mum. It’s me.” I said, hoping I sounded casual and happy.
I could see her straightening out at the sound of my voice, “Lily! How have you
been? Why haven’t you called? You told Tulip and Roman you’d visit, but you haven’t!
Is everything okay?”
“Yes, mum. It’s fine. And I’m… sorry that I haven’t been around. I’ve been so
busy doing up the house and… I’ve just been busy is all.”
“Good good. Want to speak to the kiddies?”
“No.” my voice hovered over the word, “I’ve got to run. I send my love to
everyone. I hope you’re all okay.”
“Alright. Well, I’m glad you’re okay. I love you. We all do.”
“I love you all, too.” I whispered, clicking the phone back into its stand.
Numb. Numb and oppressed, although not oppressed on purpose.
104
Mindlessly, I walked to the door and flung it open, taking a step outside.
The air woke me up. The rain woke me up. The sounds of animals and cars and
life woke me up.
“Why don’t you just leave us alone?!” I screamed, using the rain as an excuse to
cry, “I just want to live! Stop it! Leave us alone!”
I fell to my knees, grabbing handful of gravel, letting each tiny pebble run through
my fingers.
I looked up, the trees now almost naked, their twisty, bony branches looking
sinister, the eye-shaped grooves watching my every move.
“Stop it!” I screamed once more, burying my face in my hands.
“No! You stop it! What do you want the neighbours to think? What is your
problem? Why can you not obey my rules?!” Jasper picked me up, squeezing me slightly
harder than normal.
I kicked out, not knowing exactly where he was. I missed him.
“What do you mean ‘the neighbours’? Chances are we’ll be dead soon!” I
continued ranting on about anything and everything - the taste of the rain, how I wanted
to have him, all of him, just once before we went.
“You don’t obey my rules, and I’ll have to leave you here.”
I shut up. Every sense in my body went back into system failure. My crying
stopped. My breathing went back to automatic.
“Don’t… you said… no, Jasper. You can’t. You can’t.”
I was finding it hard to breathe. My soul was threatening to walk out on me. My
life was threatening to leave me numb, without company, deserted. He was threatening to
put me to certain death. He knew I couldn’t live for long without him - not now that I
knew what life was like with him.
“Lily, I will. I mean it.”
“No. You won’t. You promised. You… Jasper! Please!” I tugged at his shirt,
holding it up against my eyes to absorb the tears that were falling.
“Grow up, or I’ll do it.”
I looked up, trying to work out if he meant it. Stone. His face looked like stone.
I rolled away from him, stumbled to my feet and ran to the other side of the room.
“No! No!”
“My bag’s packed. I can’t sit here and watch you like this. It was a bad idea… I
should’ve left you with your family until this was over. Lily, I’m going.”
“I hate you! I bloody hate you!” my voice didn’t sound like my own. There was
no way it could be coming from my body, “You’re leaving me! You’ve dragged me into
this and now you’re leaving me!” I grabbed the clock off the wall and lobbed it in his
direction, the sound of shattering glass calming me for a second.
“I love you. Lily, I swear to God that I love you. I can’t hurt you without hurting
me. Have you looked at yourself recently? There’s a reason why I don’t want to go near
you! You’re so fragile. Look at your beautiful body now.”
I forced myself, eyes closed, towards a mirror. I then opened one eye at a time to
look at my shocking body.
Bones jutted out at every angle - bones that I didn’t even know existed. My eyes
were popping out of my skull, my skin tight and dull. My hair was greasy, my eyes dull
and lifeless. My clothes hung sizes too big off my now tiny frame. I was constantly
105
trembling, although whether that was because I was scared of what I’d see or whatever,
wasn’t sure.
I had never looked so sick in my life.
I heard the front door click shut, and shot around to look.
Jasper had gone.
“No!” I cried, running to the door.
I pressed my palm up against the glass pane, watching his blurry image go
towards the car. I blinked, and when my eyes reopened, I saw his hand there, the opposite
side of the glass to mine, placed over it.
My body shook, silent sobs taking over, as I slid down to the bottom of the door,
letting my hand flop down beside me.
He started his car. The gravel crunched. My world ended.
106
Chapter Twenty Two

“Are you okay? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”
I wasn’t sure how I had gotten to my families house, and I definitely wasn’t sure
how I was getting back, but the floodgates opened when mum opened the door onto me
after my frantic pounding.
I dropped straight into her arms, her warm, welcoming arms, the smell of lavender
taking me back to carefree days of being a little child, running wildly around the garden,
Roman sitting in his bouncer, before Tulip had even been considered.
“He’s gone.” I croaked.
She straightened her arms out to inspect me closer, shock in her eyes, “Gone?
Jasper? He… left you?”
Slowly, taking me with her, she sat down on the stairs. I could see her lips
moving, words fighting their way to get out, but they just weren’t voicing. She, too, was
in a state of shock.
“Come. Have a cup of tea. The others are in the garden. Let’s…” she paused,
struggling for words, “calm down before they come back in…”
Her movement were robotic. As she waited for the kettle to boil, she stood at her
usual worrying spot, drying an already bone dry mug as she stared out the window.
My body was slumped on the table, my head on its side so I could see her. I
watched the steam rise out of the kettle, wishing that my problems would drift away as
easily as the steam was, that Jasper would come back, that I would know what was going
on.
“You’ve not been eating.”
I jumped at mums sudden words, turning scarlet as I felt my bony hand.
Mum poured the tea and sat it down in front of me. The sea of black looked how I
felt - dark and lifeless. The only contrast between it and I was that it was hot and I was
always cold.
“Your clothes are hanging off of you! What’s going on? Why aren’t you eating?”
she prodded me angrily, counting my ribs as she made her way down my rib cage, “This
isn’t healthy!”
I shoved the chair backwards, trying to turn away from her touch. The only person
who should know how many ribs I have is me - even if humans do all have the same
amount - and at a push, Jasper. Although with my current, skeletal state, there was no way
he’d have touched me. He already seemed to think I was a piece of porcelain.
“Lily, explain!” she choked on her words, knowing that something big was going
107
down.
I shook my head defiantly, refusing to tell her. I sipped on my tea, realising that it
was the first thing to have passed my lips in the past few days, that since Bournemouth I
had been eating hardly anything.
“Please!” she begged, “Or let me call Shay.”
I raised an eyebrow at her, confused.
“If you won’t tell me, then you’ll tell Shay.”
I still felt confused. Okay, he’d always been there for me, but I had never really
told him anything. Nothing personal. I’d never had a conversation about my fears or
dreams, my problems or my good times. Yet somehow mum had always had a strange
hook-up on him like she got the idea that he was one of my best friends.
My mind wondered onto Megan - another person that I hadn’t really seen or
spoken to in a long time. Funny how you can have so many important people in your life
at once, and then hardly any a few months later.
“Mum. I love you.” I got up, quickly forcing the tea down into my system. I
slammed the mug back onto the table and scurried out, fumbling for my keys.
“Lily!” mum shouted, angry now.
I ignored her and kept going. I didn’t put my seatbelt on as I got into the car. I just
zoomed off, driving at whatever ridiculous speed.
“Slow the hell down!” Jasper barked.
I pulled over and wriggled around so I faced the backseat. No one was there.
I got on my way again, my speedometer pushing past 110. I turned the radio up
really loud over the sound of the traffic around me, and half-heartedly sang along, some
of the words forgotten, some causing me pain.
“I said, slow. The. Hell. Down.” Jasper’s words once again hissed in my ear.
I pulled over once more, stopping the music, twisting and turning trying to find
Jasper. I could sort of smell him too, the same old weird musky smell mixed in with paint
and clay.
“Jasper!” I choked, bursting into tears again.
I hoped that my outburst would make him reveal himself. I hoped that it would
make him touch me again, in his comforting familiar way. My heart pounded as I
remembered how alone I was without him, and my brain ached with how badly I didn’t
want to live that way.
Jasper was only hurting me more by trying to protect me. If I couldn’t see him,
then what was the point? There was still a chance that I was going to die, even though he
had left me.
Jasper’s aroma began drifting away. I began sniffing furiously, trying to inhale as
much of him as I could before it was gone again. In its place was the smell of burning
rubber and an overworked engine.
Pulling myself together, I switched the engine back on and wound down all the
windows. The winters air roused some calmness in me, helping me to see things in a new
light.
He had left to save me - or at least to save me as much as he could.
He had left to help his family - or at least as much as he could.
He hadn’t left because he didn’t love me - or at least that was what he said.
Although he did still love me, because deep down I knew it - and he had said it
108
before he had left me.
I shook nervously as I scrambled through the kitchen drawers, looking for the scissors. I
had only been calm for ten minutes tops, fears and worries all overcrowding me once
again.
For ten minutes, a metaphorical ray of sunshine had burnt its way through my
metaphorical veil of cloud. My metaphorical town, currently plagued with the pestilence,
had no deaths for a few minutes. In reality, for a few minutes, no more of my was dying.
I rushed over to the mirror as soon as I found them, kneeling before it. I grabbed a
lock of my hair and slowly, cautiously moved the scissors closer, the jaws wide open.
But something caught my eye.
The snowy-white surface of my wrist seemed to be calling me, the bone jutting
out forming a mouth.
I placed the scissor blades to my arm, pushing gently. I could feel the skin
straining as it tried to stay together, turning whiter than white as all of the blood was
forced out of the area.
I blinked and took it off, feeling angry with myself. I watched the white line
slowly turn to pink and then back to normal before I continued with what I was originally
going to do, scolding myself, cursing myself, in my head.
Piece by piece I lopped off my hair. For each wave that fell to the floor, I felt an
ounce more of freedom - a tiny bit of my sanity coming back, as if my hair was the cause
of all my problems.
I only stopped when my hair was level with my chin. It was uneven and badly cut,
but it made my eyes look bigger.
I gathered the hair up and threw it into the bin, grabbing an apple as I made my
way over to the table. I took one huge bite out of it, forcing myself to swallow before I
forced it away like a poisoned chunk of meat.
The scent of it which once was so sweet and tangy to me, now made my stomach
heave. It was the same with all food. Food made my tummy ache.
I glanced up at the house around me. The open space was wide and vast, and was
a ridiculous size for two people let alone one. It was always cold, even if the heating was
on full whack all day long.
Every shadow cast was menacing. I hadn’t been told what to prepare for - the
Tanner’s didn’t even know themselves. For all I knew they could have been in the house
right then and there, waiting, buying their time to pounce on me like I was a baby
elephant in the wild that had been separated from its family, only to be found by the
predators.
The house stank of fear. My fear.
I turned the TV on and ran to the sofa, getting my feet up off of the floor as
quickly as possible, as if it were quicksand. A young mother was comforting her child as
they cried. I flicked the channel over, trying not to think about my earlier encounter.
The next programme had lots of small children running around, helping each
other. The little boy looked like Roman. I hopped the channel again. The next had a little
girl whose voice sounded like Tulip’s, and the one after that was a soap - but the man had
the same mannerisms as my dad.
109
I kept flicking and flicking, making the TV look like it was blinking.
As it blinked, I blinked - blinking back yet more tears.
I ran over to the bin and pulled my hair out, willing it to fuse back to my head.
I ran to the phone and tapped in mum’s number, scattering the useless clumps of
hair on the floor as I ran and they fell loose out of my grip.
I slammed the phone down as I heard the dialling tone for the third time.
I leapt over to the TV and slammed the off button, making it shake. It looked so
fragile.
Around and around the house I ran, hopped, skipped and jumped. Not in a happy
way. In an agitated, confused way.
If I kept moving, then they couldn’t get me. Then Jasper could come back. Then I
could be happy again.
I sprinted up the stairs, two or three at a time, and dived beneath the duvet. Safe
safe safe.
Why hadn’t Jasper rang? Why had the only contact been in the car? Was he here
watching me? Why have I heard no news? He could be dead.
I squirmed around, not able to get comfortable. I knew I was beginning to lose my
mind, but that was the least of my worries.
I closed my eyes, once again trying to remember when things were good - about a
month ago. When everything just fell into place.
Tulip was brushing her dolls hair as Roman aimed the garden hose at her. She squealed
and he laughed as the cold spurt of silver landed directly on her head, soaking her. Mum
was cooking in the kitchen, but she stopped and ran to the window as soon as she had
heard Tulip. Her frown was one of disapproval.
Dad had yanked the hose off of Roman and turned it on him, drenching him, not
taking the constant stream off of him until he had apologised. Mum was still frowning,
most probably wondering what condition the lawn would be in after their little fight.
Jasper and I were lying on a blanket on the grass. Quite a lot like when we first
met, I was reading. I was nicely spread out across the blanket, peeking over my book to
watch the others in their merriment. Jasper sat cross-legged beside me, singing quietly
and playing with my hair.
The happy days. I felt myself drifting off. I was fighting my hardest to avoid going to
dream land - even there they could get me.
It was a losing battle. I inhaled what I thought would be my last remembered
breath before unconsciousness, and relaxed my whole body.
Something was on top of me. Fumbling around. My body went rigid again. My
eyes immediately opened, my arms and legs flailing to try and get my attacker off.
I closed my eyes as I felt the duvet being lifted off me - maybe it would hurt less
if I couldn’t see them.
I felt a pair of familiar lips brush against mine, burning hot. I felt familiar hands
brush my skin, raising the recognisable goose bumps. The hands went further towards
places they never had been before, and I let them.
Opening my eyes, I was blinded. My sunshine was back. He was there. Either
that, or I was in a dream - a dream that I was reluctant to wake up from.
110
“Lily, I love you. I love you. I love you.” he whispered, pulling my arm out of my
sleeve.
I didn’t answer back.
I kissed his eyelids as a feeling of elation swept over me.
Chapter Twenty Three

The definition of a jigsaw puzzle is a set of irregularly cut pieces of pasteboard, wood, or
the like that form a picture or design when fitted together. This seemed the perfect term
for Jasper and I - irregularly cut to form a picture when put together. Regardless of our
irregularities, we fitted perfectly and made the prettiest picture ever created.
I felt calm. The hustle and bustle of the world outside seemed nonexistent. The
fear that had capacitated me for what felt like a few millennia was a distant memory. I
was floating on air, sunbathing on a beach or something just as peaceful. Last night felt
all too good to be true, more like a dream than anything, but it was such a perfect dream,
where everything fitted, that I was a hundred percent sure that I never wanted to wake up.
The world could burst into flames before I removed myself from his arms.
“I couldn’t last.”
I looked into Jasper’s eyes, confused.
“I wasn’t supposed to come back. Not until we’d got rid of them. Not until
everything was safe. But… you were almost killing yourself unintentionally. My mind,
body and soul couldn’t stand being separated.” he pulled me in closer to him, “I want to
take you everywhere with me, but I don’t want you to get hurt. I want you to see the
things that I’ve seen, but of course, only the good things. Do you think that, being a fairy,
you could shrink yourself so I could carry you around in my pocket?”
I kissed his nose. “You haven’t got rid of them?”
He hesitated, “No. Actually… we haven’t really seen many hipiliks. Only two or
three. But we’ve got out plan. We’ve got it. And I’ve got you. And everything’s going to
be alright.”
I smiled, stretching muscles in my face that hadn’t been stretched in a long time,
“After last night, I know everything’s going to be alright.”
“Don’t be cheeky!” he laughed, rubbing his nose underneath my jaw line.
I replayed his laugh over and over again in my head. My chest swelled with
happiness. I agreed with Jazz - I wanted to be pocketsize. I wanted to go everywhere with
him, although it didn’t matter to me whether it was good or bad, since negative places
and Jasper could never happen together.
“Lily?”
I rolled over onto my tummy, “Yes?”
“I’m not going to be able to leave you. Not again. I’m staying here. With you. If
Paul and Tara need me, they just call. And whatever I’m doing,” he licked his lips in a
mischievous way, “I have to go. Instantly.”
I expressed my agreement through a few little sighs, just glad to have him around
me again.
Jasper kissed my shoulders, making last night replay.
111
“Really?!” Megan squealed down the phone.

I had snuck downstairs to make the quick phone call and had been relaying recent
events - just without the whole “hey, I’m a fairy and he’s half hipilik half elf” thing.
Speaking to Megan - and also Sam through his shouted comments in the
background - made my life as normal was it would be for a little while.
“Lily?” Jasper called, creeping down the stairs.
“Two seconds! I’m on the phone!” I chimed, hoping that Megan would be easy to
drop so I could go back to him.
“Lily! What are you doing?! Get off! Get off!” Jazz was yelling.
The phone was out of my hand and back on the hook before I could even fathom
why he was acting so peculiarly.
“The phones! They’re being watched, remember?!”
I bit my lips and slowly shook my head.
“I told you last night?”
I shook my head again, this time slower than before. I could remember a lot of
things being said last night… but that was not one of them.
“They’re tapping our phones. Every call we make endangers people.”
I shook my head once more, this time quite quickly, “How do you know?”
He eyed at the phone like a dog waiting to spring upon its prey, “They’ve been
sending Paul and Tara notes… I thought you heard…”
I slapped my forehead with my hand, realising what danger I could’ve put Megan
into.
“Don’t worry. They won’t go for her. I doubt they think that she’s close enough to
us. And lets keep it that way. I know it’s tough. You’ve been without your family… but
please… no more calls.”
And with that, he firmly ripped the line out of the wall, taking the plaster away
with it.
I shrank back into him and cried.
Every now and again, Jasper would have to drop what he was doing and assist his
parents. It wasn’t very often - about five times in two weeks. But sometimes it was when
I needed him the most, when I needed the most reassuring. Other times, it was just plain
annoying.
He had been slumping into a weird state of mind. He seemed to think that
everything he touched turned to dust, when I knew the truth - that it turned to gold.
With both of us in foul moods, neither of us actually got much done. The house
was getting quite dirty, the dishes were piling up, the laundry had been lying dormant for
ages and the garden was growing wild.
Most of the time, Jazz and I watched the TV, his arms around me.
“Missing. Two teenagers. Megan Hart and Samuel Tuck. The pair last had contact
with their families last Saturday. If you have any information on the whereabouts of these
two, then please call the helpline on…”
I froze. Jasper froze.
We didn’t know where they were… but we knew who had them.
112

Sun Dance

Uploaded by

Document Information

Copyright

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Sun Dance

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Sun Dance by Jessica Folley

glad that I wasn’t running off with Jasper straight away.

remote and zapped the TV on.

headphones now neatly wrapped around it.

every single surface covered in books.

hidden behind the cars.

“I guess you like it then?” He laughed, unwrapping my legs and swinging me

“But that’s not Bournemouth! We could go surfing! Or crabbing!” Roman wailed,

and into my room, searching for my book bag.

you’re from another planet. Maybe something celestial.”

of my nose, making it send off an electric shock to my brain.

the room, a stool at either end.

“You look gorgeous. No… more so.”

“Remember, I am literally made of money.” he was smiling too, obviously over

“What?” I took a step back, beginning to get scared.

normality.” I sat next to him. He took my hand.

late? Swimming pools open at 10 o‘clock. Crazy talk I tell you!”

“Lily, my love. Come and join me.”

once again unreadable yet unusually pale.

he was at eye level with it.

around, his arms tightening around me forming a cage of arms.

“Got it.” he whispered, before following behind her.

that I was different and not a mutant.

matter? Do I not have a voice?”

would hold on until I got to the toilet.

man who sat before us hunched up in the armchair.

Dad shut up. Tulip and Roman began protesting.

my neck with my hand, massaging all of the tense muscles.

Chapter Twenty One

Chapter Twenty Two

before he had left me.

Chapter Twenty Three

“Really?!” Megan squealed down the phone.

You might also like