Professional Documents
Culture Documents
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Introduction
Building a Mentoring Relationship Mentoring Functions
Mentor Benefits
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Agenda
Becoming a Mentor/Friend Mentoring Functions Mentoring Skills Establishing Trust Building Relationships
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Overview
Developing a Mentor-Mentee Relationship Mentoring takes time, patience and understanding for the pieces to fall into place
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Vocabulary
Mentee a youth receiving the benefits of a mentor Mentor a trusted counselor or guide, tutor or coach
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Mentors are experienced, wise people who are willing to advise and encourage a younger person. A mentor may make the difference in success or failure of a mentee. Research has shown that achievers are influenced by specific people in their lives far more than underachievers, that whether or not young people succeed depends in great part on individuals who help them establish values and who inspire effort. (Mahoney 1983)
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Effective Mentoring
Maintain a steady presence in a youths life Respect the youths viewpoint Pay attention to the kids need for fun Get to know your mentees family, but do not become too involved with them Seek and use the advice of the program staff
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Any mature, caring person who has enough time and energy in his/her life to share with a youth can become a mentor. To be a mentor you must enjoy sharing your knowledge, skills, abilities and insight with a youth.
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Mentoring Functions
Listening The most important function of the mentor may be to listen. Many youth do not have anyone at home who is willing and able to listen to what they have to say. Youth are often able to sort out their own problems and arrive at their own solutions just by having someone with whom to talk out the situation.
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Counseling Through discussion mentors can help youth gain a different perspective of their problems and their own abilities to deal successfully with them. Coaching Giving advice and providing feedback are important as a youth takes on new challengers. Coaches can give praise for a job well done, encouragement when the going gets tough, and constructive criticism when changes need to be made. It is always easier to deal with the negatives when you know there are some positives.
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Educating A mentor is also a teacher. While it may be easier to do things for a youth who is struggling with a problem, the youth will benefit greater if he/she is able to handle the problem himself/herself. One way to empower a youth is to teach them the skills to take care of themselves. Sponsoring Mentors can help open doors for youth by introducing them to new people, activities and organizations. Opportunities for a youth to meet new people and explore new situations may open new horizons.
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Mentoring Skills
Good Communication Being able to listen effectively and respond in a way that the youth will listen. Good Listener Being quiet while someone else is talking does not constitute good listening. Real listening occurs when you are trying to understand someone, learn something from someone or help someone express their thoughts and feelings. Good listeners maintain eye contact, reinforce the speaker by nodding and paraphrasing and asks questions to clarify what the speaker said.
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Knowing the Roadblocks to Good Communication Often, it is our initial response that either encourages or discourages communication. The first words spoken will either turn a person off or invite a person to talk about ideas, feelings or attitudes. A good opener is a noncommittal response like: I see or Is that so? To invite a person to say more, use a non-threatening response like, Tell me more or Id like to hear what you have to say.
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Behaviors to Avoid
Ordering, Directing, Commanding Warning, Admonishing, Threatening Moralizing, Exhorting, Preaching Advising, Giving Solutions or Suggestions Lecturing, Teaching, Giving Logical Arguments Judging, Criticizing, Disagreeing, Blaming
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Establishing Trust
The key to creating effective mentoring relationships lies in the development of trust. Learning to trust, especially for youth who have been let down before, requires time; youth cannot be expected to trust their mentor simply because the program staff put them together. Establishing communication and developing a relationship can often be a difficult process. Mentors who follow a gradual path in building trust find that the types of support they can offer, and that will be accepted, broaden considerably once trust has been established.
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Mentors who focus first on building trust and becoming a friend to their mentee tend to be more effective than those who immediately try to change or reform their mentee. Adults whose attention is concentrated on reforming youth are often frustrated by their lack of receptivity.
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Building Relationships
Volunteers who take the time to develop real relationships with youth are much more likely to promote the changes that are expected to occur. Mentors make a commitment to being consistent and dependable, to maintaining a steady presence in the youths life. Mentors recognize that the relationship may be fairly one-sided and take responsibility for keeping the relationship alive.
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Mentors are more effective when they see themselves as friends rather than teachers or parents and define their role in supporting the youth in a variety of ways. The key to creating effective mentoring relationships lies in the development of trust, which takes a substantial amount of time.
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Summary
Mentoring is a matter of TRUST Mentoring is a powerful tool for helping youth fulfill their potential Mentoring is a rewarding experience Developing a trusting relationship takes time, allow that to happen
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