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ChapterNews
1
April 1, 2004 — Special Edition
Message from the President
Garment MalfeasanceSinks New York Chapter
 Agnes Mattis,President
Greetings from Sunny Aruba!
B
 y now you have probably heard that the New York Chapter has beenthrown out of the Special Libraries Association (dba SLA) for conductunbecoming. While I cannot go into all the gory details suffice it to say it was probably not a good fund raising idea to have Chapter membershold a wet T-Shirt contest in Times Square. And the T-Shirts probably shouldnot have been emblazoned with the picture of John Cotton Dana. It matters lit-tle that we raised more than $30,000! Your Executive Board regrets that you nolonger have a membership in SLA unless you wish to affiliate with other nearby Chapters such as New Jersey, Long Island or Hudson Valley. Each of theseChapters will offer probationary status to former NY Chapter members toinsure their reputations are not damaged by any future scandal. Your Board alsoapologizes to participants in the aforementioned contest. We do not know whonotified the NY Post.So, here I sit in Aruba drowning my sorrows. The pain is so deep. I was recently named a Fellow of the Association and I was so looking forward to meeting withmy Fellow Fellows and thinking deep thoughts in Nashville. Now I am personanon-grata. The New Jersey Chapter won’t even let me be a probationary mem-ber. And the contest wasn’t even my idea. The Director of Publications talkedthe Board into it at our offsite meeting at Hooters.But back to Aruba, I know you won’t mind but to finance my therapeutic trip.I took all the money in the Chapter treasury (including the ill-gotten gains fromthe contest) and came down here and bought a few more weeks in a timeshareon the beach. The Chapter doesn’t exist anymore so you certainly don’t need themoney. And remember, I was the longest serving President in Chapter history. That has to be worth something. I will offer to contribute any of my casino win-nings to any future organization that the NY area information professionals careto start. You may also rent a week at the timeshare with all proceeds going bacto the New York members of the new organization. The one thing that SLA (our former organization) is offering to NY Chaptermembers (or former members) is that you can still register for this year’s confer-ence in Nashville at members rates and at the Early Bird rate if you registerbefore May 1. Your conference badge will have a special designation (a red circle with a line through it) so all other members in good standing can avoid you atthe meeting. There will be designated seating in all meeting rooms (in the back 
ChapterNews
 April 1, 2004 – Special Edition
IN THIS ISSUE
Message from the President Agnes Mattis in Aruba...........1Message from the formerDirector of Publications.........2SLA NY2005Nude Librarians Calendaris now on Sale!......................3Name Change at SLA...............3Board Approves New Logo......4
ADVERTISERS
SLA NY.....................................4
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ChapterNews
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April 1, 2004 — Special Edition
ChapterNewsNew York ChapterSpecial Libraries Association April 1, 2004 — Special Edition
PUBLICATIONSCHEDULE
ChapterNews,
the bulletin of the New York Chapter of theSpecial Libraries Association,
is published four times a year.
Deadlines for submitting materials:
Fall issue....................September 24 Winter issue...............December 15Spring issue................March 15Summer issue.............May 14
Submit all material to:
 Jennifer Kellerman
ChapterNews 
EditorE-mail: jkellerman@paulweiss.com
Submissions:
 Articles on topics of general interest to infor-mation professionals and the New York Chapter are welcome. Authors can send submissions via e-mail as text file or MS Word for Windows attachments, or with article in the body of the e-mail. Please use single-line spacing, Courier font, withminimal use of boldface and italics. Include a byline with yourfull name and place of work.
ADVERTISING
inquiries should be addressed to:Nancy Bowles235 East 22nd Street, Apt 9LNew York, NY 10010 Telephone: (212) 679-7088 orE-mail: nancy.bowles@verizon.net
Special Libraries Association 
assumes no responsibility for thestatements and opinions advanced by contributors to the Associa-tion’s publications. Editorial views do not necessarily represent theofficial position of Special Libraries Association. Acceptance of an advertisement does not imply endorsement of the product by Special Libraries Association.
CHAPTERNEWS STAFF
Director of PublicationsMike GruenbergChapterNews EditorJennifer Kellerman Advertising Manager Nancy Bowles WebmasterShirley Loh Assistant EditorBrenda Lingto the right) and you cannot attend any reception wherealcohol is served. At the Opryland Hotel New Yorkers will be restricted to the use of one lounge – the Jack Daniel’s Saloon. All other lounges serving alcohol arestrictly off limits. They include the Delta Lounge wherenightly entertainment could be a problem. The Cascade Terrace revolves and we don’t want New Yorkers gettingdizzy and causing any further embarrassment to the asso-ciation. And Rusty’s Sports Bar with its many televisionscould show reruns of the aforementioned contest which would bring renewed disgrace to SLA. Any New Yorker found line dancing, riding a mechanicalbull or wearing a string tie will be permanently barredfrom future affiliation with SLA. They will also not beallowed to join the new organization New Yorkers willform post-conference 2004. I humbly suggest you attendthe conference in your NY understated black attire,made entirely of natural fibers. Behave in your usualsuperior NY attitude. Avoid any meal function where you must stand on a line and fetch your own food. Comeback to New York and help me figure out what we aregoing to do with ourselves.So that’s it. We regret the inconvenience, but sometimesit’s better to start anew. As the last President of the NY chapter I must say that it’s been fun and I will miss youall, but I just found employment at the Aruba PublicLibrary and I start that job when my current funds aredepleted.Good Luck and Good Health,
 Agnes
Message from theDirector of Publications
By The Former Director of Publications
 T
hese are difficult times indeed. Our beloved chapterhas undergone some enormous changes. Our belovedPresident is in forced exile in Aruba. Associationheadquarters is perplexed as to what to do with theirlargest chapter. Our members are confused, trying todecide if they are to call themselves SLAer’s, III’ers or just “Those People Who Answer the Tough Questions.”Having been involved in all phases of the fund-raisingplan that was devised with all good intentions, I can hon-estly say that your Board is sorry for the damage that hasbeen done. On the other hand, we must pause toremember that this great country was founded by people with vision and purpose. Your Board also had vision and
(Continued from page 1)(Continues on page 3)
 
purpose. I, for one am proud to be associated with aBoard that tried to ‘think out of the box.” So what, if themeeting where the plan was devised was at a local estab-lishment where the staff is scantily dressed. They alsoneed to make a living. Database searching and vodkamartinis have one thing in common and that is thatsomeone has to ask for each. I will stand by my Presidentand laud her efforts to raise funds for our organization in whatever way is deemed possible.I am therefore establishing the New York Chapter inExile Foundation. Our goal is to bring back Agnes andreturn her and the Board to their rightful place. We willaccept donations of any denomination. Furthermore,there will be a web site devoted to this noble cause and apayroll deduction plan has now been established to makeit easier for you to contribute. I know all of you will joinme in this wonderful effort. Henceforth, I too canreached in Aruba and will be calling all of you as long as you can accept collect calls at your libraries. Thank you and good night.
Support theNYChapter of SLA2005 Nude New York Librarians Calendar
Buy your copy today!!
I
n an effort to raise some much needed cash for thechapter coffers, the Board came up with the idea of publishing a nude calendar (of course, any offendingbody parts are hidden by “strategically placed” books,magazines, Interlibrary loan slips, assures Chapter President
 Agnes Mattis
, who also is Ms. January.)Other members of the NY Chapter Board and Advisory Council will help you mark each month of the year:
President-Elect
Tom Pellizzi
graces the month of May;
 July finds the Director of Publications,
Michael Gru-enberg
holding a copy of 
ChapterNews 
;
 Webmaster
Shirley Loh
peers from behind a computerin October; and
Jennifer Kellerman
,
ChapterNews 
editor, makes anappearance in December.
For $12 ($1 per month) you can help support the Chapter and see your board and advisory council like you’ve never seenthem before (and would probably prefer not to see them again).
Name Change at SLA!Members Mandated toDisregard Old Name
 S
till reeling from the often contentious name changediscussion that culminated in the referendum heldat the convention in New York this past June, theorganization took another hit today when a small groupof librarians in the mid-west vented their anger andinvoked a little known rule in the by-laws. After mid-night on April 2, the name SLA will be replaced by I I I, which stands for
Information Is Important
. All stationery,logos and websites have until midnight April 2, 2004 toabide by this regulation or face immediate eliminationfrom all organization events and privileges.Section 27; Paragraph J; line 3 (often referred to asDavid’s Rule) specifically states that a minimum of twelvemembers living in the same zip code on the western sideof their State, working in a library with a minimum of seventeen databases and 600 volumes of any non-fictioncollection have the right to call for a name change to theorganization. The only stipulation is that the vote mustbe unanimous. Apparently, fourteen librarians living in western Idaho employed in the James P. Schlyderman Memorial Library at the University of Far WesternIdaho had all these areas covered and came upon thisoften unnoticed section of the by-laws that the organiza-tion has been adhering to for all these years. They met,they voted and SLA will become I I I.Given the vast amount of negative publicity these ladiesexpect to receive, we had to agree to give them anonymity  when interviewed by 
ChapterNews 
. “We were very dis-heartened by the vote in New York” one of the librarianssaid candidly. “We went to great restaurants in the Big Apple, but had upset stomachs as a result of the vote”another piped in. “After all, information is importantand we wanted everyone to know that!” Apparently, no one at headquarters was willing to give
ChapterNews 
their views on this breaking story.
ChapterNews
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April 1, 2004 — Special Edition
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