How to be a Jerk
Being a jerk can be fun. It gives you a feeling of dominance over others; you are moreimportant then the rest. You are the wolf among a flock of sheep; people fear you, andtherefore look up to you. Being a jerk is not hard; all you have to do is think aboutyourself and your own feelings, and forget that everyone else has emotions. There arevarious ways of achieving this perception of importance; you can put people down and belittle them, pretend you’re better than everyone, or just be plain mean, unpolite, andnasty. Sure, there might be some little voice inside saying that you are no better thananyone else is, but you can drown out that nagging reminder with constant insults toothers. Nothing replaces that great feeling of emotional triumph over one of your "peers".The fact that you have engaged in and won a verbal war (however one-sided it may be)makes you feel as high as the sky, while the opposing party will probably sink like a rock in quicksand. They will think that you are mean (and you are), and they won’t want to befriend you or have respect for you, but you won’t care because you perceive yourself ata higher standing than they are.The foremost aspect of being a jerk is to make people feel inferior by way of your comments and actions; this also gives you a sense of superiority, which makes you feelimportant. Also, insults can be spiced up by adding sarcastic and witty remarks.Degrading someone is easy; just greet them with a "Hey, loser", or a cynical "What doyou want, _______?" (fill the blank in with your favorite witty obscenity), instead of "Hey, how’s it going" or "What have you been up to lately?". Start off by beingsarcastically mean, and you have already got the jump on them. They are on thedefensive now. If they continue the conversation with you, then insult them at intervals by rejecting any ideas they present, not laughing at any jokes they tell, or by calling themnames and making fun of their appearance. This will make the other person feel insecureand reluctant to talk to you; the people around you will either think your comments arefunny (they aspire to be a jerk like you), or they will consider you rude and disgraceful. Itdoesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks though, does it? You are yourself and noone else; you feel only your feelings and no one else’s; so why should you be concernedwith anyone but yourself? You are king in your own mind, and your perception iseverything.If you can’t be bothered to be a witty, sarcastic jerk, you can just be a regular, mean jerk.This kind of jerk is intolerant and impatient (to a higher degree than the other type of jerk), rude, and unsarcastically mean. The next time someone gives you something or does something for you, don’t say thank you or show gratitude; you should even go so far as to complain about what they gave you or how they should accomplish things faster.Don’t be grateful; if you are grateful, people will think that they can win your favor withgood deeds; that’s manipulation. You can’t let anyone win your favor; that would showweakness, and you have to be strong to show that you are of great importance. Bedisrespectful to everyone, and elders and authority figures especially. Respect can also belinked to weakness, since respecting someone can be taken as giving in and obeying that person. Don’t obey; you are your own person, and you should play by your rules alone.