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Currin Victim Impact Statement

Currin Victim Impact Statement

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Published by wtopweb
This is the full text of remarks Kelley Currin delivered May 23, 2013 at Rick Curl’s sentencing hearing in Montgomery County Circuit Court. A victim impact statement is part of the court record.
This is the full text of remarks Kelley Currin delivered May 23, 2013 at Rick Curl’s sentencing hearing in Montgomery County Circuit Court. A victim impact statement is part of the court record.

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Published by: wtopweb on May 23, 2013
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07/10/2013

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Note:
This is the full text of remarks Kelley Currin delivered Thursday at Rick Curl’s
sentencing hearing in Montgomery County Circuit Court. A victim impact statement is part of the court record.
This is my Victim Impact Statement. I have tried to sound eloquent, composed, and like the 43-year-old
woman that I am, but I have gotten nowhere. It really isn’t the 43
-year-old Kelley that needs to be
heard. It’s the 14, 15, and 16
-year-old Kelley that needs to talk. How can I sum up what happened overth
e course of several years into a few paragraphs? I am not sure if there is a proper way to say what I’mfeeling … but I am just going to write from my heart.
 I loved Rick Curl. I loved him. He was my hero. I have yet to this day to find someone who has impactedme as much as he did. He was the most important thing in my life for the majority of my teenage years,
and I loved, trusted and cherished him as much as a young girl’s heart and mind could. There is
absolutely nothing that I would not have done for him. The times that I was wounded physically andemotionally by Rick was simply part what I thought I needed to do to keep him in my life.My first-ever real kiss was at the water fountain in the hall at Georgetown Prep after practice one day inMarch. Rick used his tongue. I had never done that before. I went home and sat at the dinner table
eating with my family. The phone rang. It was Rick, and he told me he was “on cloud nine.” Things werenever “normal” between us again. I was his “special” girl. I abso
lutely was head over heels crazy for mycoach. In an instant, I became 100% dedicated to him and our relationship. I had never had someonepay me so much attention! From that point on, my life revolved around him.We had special signs to each other before I would get up on the block. My success in the water wasdirectly connected to him. I had to have him in my life or I would not be able to accomplish my goal of 
going to the Olympics. I remember telling a local paper, “He is the driver and I’m the horse.”
Myteammates would tease me daily about my relationship with him. The girls would ask me all the timewhy I got dressed so quickly and left the locker room. I needed to see Rick in his office. He had mecaptivated.This really does not fit into any of what
I’m writing right now, but I do wonder about one incident. We
were in California. I was 15. I threw a piece of chewing gum up to the front of the van we were in. It hitRick. He pulled the van over, and made me get out. Then he left. I was on a highway next to an orange
grove. I remember thinking, “Oranges are good sugar. I am OK as long as I have oranges.” I sat by theroad and waited. The van came back. That’s all I remember. About four months ago, I asked one of my
former teammates if she remembered this, and yes, it happened.Rick would tease me about my bottom. I had a habit of pulling my suit down over my bottom and he
would see me and yell, “It’s not gonna fit.” Ohhhh, I wish I could say that I knew he was kidding and that
it was all in good fun, but to this day, I am ashamed of my bottom.When he became engaged to his wife, he broke the news to me before practice one day. He pulled measide and told me not to worry because he would name his first daughter after me. That was my
 
2consolation. What grief and anguish I felt. Ashley Marie was born nine months after his wedding. I couldtell no one! My parents took me to see Linda, Rick and the new baby in the hospital. It was very hard. Athis wedding, I wore a pink dress and danced with him too long at the
reception. I whispered in his ear, “Ihate you.”
 I would spend my lunch hours in high school hiding in the bathroom sitting in a toilet stall because I hadno friends. I would sneak down the front hall to the pay phone, desperate to talk to him. He told me thatI could not make it on my own and that I needed him. I completely agreed. He made me so happy. Hetook me out to expensive dinners; he bought me beautiful jewelry from Bailey, Banks and Biddle. Hegave me new suits and warm ups. I never really connected the sexual encounters we had with my lovefor him. It was just something that came with the relationship. At Olympic Trials in 1984, each swimmerhad his or her own room. The night before I was to swim, Rick came into my room at midnight, lay downin the bed, got up, urninated on the wall, and then fondled me for an hour until I told him that I needed
to sleep. I didn’t understand why he urinated on the wall … now I know he was drunk.
 
I would babysit Rick’s daughter while he and Linda would go out. He
would tell me that I needed to lovehis girl like my own because one day she would be mine. I remember going into his basement of hishome and kissing him. I was so desperate for his affection. I was so jealous of other girls who got hisattention and time. I hated when he would talk to or hug other girls. I was in torment, and I could tell noone. One of the most vivid things I can remember was the overwhelming and constant sense of powerlessness that I felt. The only way I could control my situation was to be near Rick. I craved timewith him. When I was at home or at school, I was miserable.I could list dates and places that abuse took place. They were countless. Rick always told me that I
should not worry because “if we got caught, he would take half of 
 
the blame.”
 We got caught. Then he left. The promises of a life together were gone. I was so alone, left to deal witha broken heart and years of wondering what I did wrong. I met with Linda at Georgetown Prep to talkabout what my parents had found in my
 journal. She understood what had happened, and said “Onceyour relationship with him began, there is no way that you could have stopped it. I wasn’t able to. ”
 For about a year, when I lived in Austin, I went to a therapy group with pedophiles in it. My therapist at
the time was hoping that these men would help me to understand that Rick didn’t love me … and that
he was a criminal. I cannot tell you how many highly degreed and qualified professionals have told me,
“He is ill. He didn’t love you. You weren’t the only one.” I hung on and hung on and hung on to thenotion that I was “special.” He did love me! He did!
 
But that isn’t love, is it. No, my adult self has struggled to comprehend that. To this day, I still don’t all
the way understand.So how has thi
s abuse affected me? I’m human, and we humans are complex, but here are some of my
issues that I believe are directly related to this abuse inflicted on me.

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