Reflections on the College Application Essay

C.L. 2009

1

reflections on the college application essay

“Writing,”

said

E.

B.

White,

“is

an

act

of

faith,

not

a

trick

of

grammar.”

It’s

not

any

kind

of

trick,

in

fact.

At

its

best,

it’s

just

you.

After

reading

a

number

of

essays,

I

was

quite

intrigued

by

the

patterns

evident

in

most

of

them.

Many

of

the

same

themes

were

used

by

different

writers;

some

essays

were

brilliantly

unique.

So

here

is

my

attempt

to

provide

a

brief

categorization

of

the

common

types

of

essays/essay

writers

that

I’ve

noticed,

addressed

to

(imaginary)

future

writers

who

will

attempt

the

ordeal

or

the

enjoyable

experience

that

is

the

college

application

essay.

The Incurably Cliché

Different names, different places, same story.

What

sort

of

clichés

should

you

try

to

avoid

talking

about

(badly)?

The

Trip

:

“I

had

to

adjust

to

very

different

foods,

customs,

even

daily

schedules,

in

my

visit

to

Europe/Israel/Cleveland/fill

in

the

blank.

…”

Everything

in

Trip

essays

is

different

except

the

essay

itself,

which

is

just

like

all

other

Trip

essays.

Miss

America

:

This

essay—“I

think

world

peace

is

the

most

important

issue

facing

us

today…”—offers

simpleminded

solutions

for

complex

problems

that

you

don’t

really

know

the

first

thing

about

from

personal

experience.

The

Perspirant:

In

response

to

the

essay

prompt

to

discuss

“a

challenge

you’ve

faced,”

student

anxiety

often

leads

to

“This

essay

is

the

greatest

challenge

I

have

ever

faced…

.

”

Don’t

write

about

the

process

of

applying

(admissions

officers

sometimes

call

such

applicants

“sweaty”).

The

Jock:

“Through

wrestling,

I

have

learned

discipline,

determination,

and

how

to

work

with

people…

.”

Written

by

many

types

of

students,

not

just

neckless

mouth

‐

breathers,

this

isn’t

a

subject

but

a

formula:

Through

X,

I

have

learned

Noble

Value

A,

High

Platitude

B,

and

Great

Lesson

C.

(You

know

you’ve

written

this

essay

if

you

can

substitute

“my

career

as

a

mugger,”

“hard

work,”

or

“cooking

meals

at

the

soup

kitchen,”

for

“mugger,”

and

it

still

makes

sense.)

In

essays,

and

in

life,

attempts

to

force

people

into

choosing

what

to

think

of

you

don’t

work.

You

just

have

to

be

yourself;

they

get

to

decide

what

to

think.

Pet

Death:

“As

I

watched

Button’s

life

ebb

away

in

the

street,

I

realized

all

the

important

things

I

value

in

this

world…

.”

If

you

have

pets,

feel

free

to

keep

them

alive

as

long

as

possible.

If

they

die,

dig

a

hole,

have

a

lovely

ceremony,

and

then

keep

quiet

about

it.

(Incidentally,

E.

B.

White

wrote

one

of

the

great

essays

of

this

century,

“Death

of

Pig,”

defying

in

brilliant

detail

everything

I

am

saying.

Try

it

if

you

dare.)

C.L. 2009

2

My

Favorite

Things:

“Here

are

a

few

things

I

am

for:

abandoned

puppies,

moonbeams,

fudge

brownies.

Things

I

am

against:

acne,

mean

people,

nuclear

holocaust…

.

”

Writers

of

MFT

are

called

“fluffballs”

in

admissions

parlance—need

I

say

more?

Tales

of

My

Success:

“But

finally,

when

I

crossed

the

finish

line

and

received

the

congratulations

of

my

teammates,

I

realized

all

the

hard

work

had

been

worth

it.”

Imagine

how

often

that

gets

written,

and

then

spare

the

admissions

staffers

one

more

variation

on

the

theme.

Let

others—teachers,

counselors—talk

about

your

successes

instead.

My

Memoirs:

Don’t

try

to

stuff

eighteen

years

into

500

words.

It’s

not

that

an

autobiography

can’t

be

done

in

this

space;

it’s

just

profoundly

difficult.

Write

about

something

smaller.

[Harry

Bauld:

What

to

say

in

a

college

admission

essay,

Reed

Magazine]

I’ve

come

across

Miss

America,

the

Perspirant,

the

Jock

(quite

popular),

Tales

of

My

Success

(most

frequent),

and

Memoirs.

I

would

rather

read

an

essay

about

a

blade

of

grass

than

about

how

you

mustered

that

last

ounce

of

strength

to

pip

your

opponent

in

so

‐

and

‐

so

competition

and,

collapsing

to

the

ground

in

weariness,

realized

that

you

can

do

things

if

only

you

drive

yourself

to

do

it

and

believe

in

yourself,

and

now

you

can

take

on

any

obstacle

because

you

now

know

what

you’re

capable

of,

woohoo!

Certainly

commendable,

and

I

admire

your

spirit

of

perseverance.

I

don’t

mean

to

belittle

your

accomplishment

either.

What

I

am

saying

is

that

such

essays

rarely

reveal

something

that

is

unique

about

you.

If

I

took

another

person

and

substituted

him

or

her

into

the

essay,

it

would

probably

make

sense

as

well.

Most

people

have

great

drive

and

teamwork

and

[insert

quality

of

your

choice],

but

not

many

people

can

write

a

thoughtful

reflection

on

a

blade

of

grass.

And

if

you

can,

and

if

those

are

your

real

thoughts,

it

will

be

a

joy

to

read

because

often

such

essays

reveal

more

about

their

writer

than

the

My

Success

essays…

The Avid Accomplisher

(falls under

incurably cliché

) And the winner is…me!

Would

you

introduce

yourself

to

a

total

stranger

by

saying,

“Hi

there,

my

name

is

[name]

and

I

won

the

2008

[insert

name

of

competition],

beating

out

[number]

other

competitors.”

or

“Nice

to

meet

you.

I’m

determined

and

caring.

These

are

all

commendable

qualities

I

displayed

when

I

led

my

team

through

endless

trials

and

tribulations

to

emerge

victorious

in

the

2007

[insert

name

of

other

competition]”?

The

Avid

Accomplisher

would.

In

every

essay,

he/she

will

find

ways

to

put

in

examples

utilizing

competitions

and

awards

that

he/she

participated

in

or

received,

without

much

elaboration.

It

gets

pretty

tiring

after

a

while,

since

it’s

obvious

all

those

awards

are

there

for

show

and

not

because

they

played

a

part

in

shaping

the

writer

to

become

the

person

he/she

is.

There

is

a

place

for

accomplishments

in

the

application,

but

more

often

than

not

it

is

not

your

essay.

You

do

not

necessarily

have

to

use

them

to

put

yourself

across

–

you

are

so

much

more

than

the

sum

of

your

C.L. 2009

3

awards

and

wins.

(This

seems

to

be

an

unfortunate

effect

of

our

results

‐

oriented

education

system).

And

if

you

won’t

take

it

from

me,

take

it

from

them:

Admission

committees

at

these

top

schools

aren't

looking

to

hear

about

your

summer

vacation

to

Europe

or

your

plan

to

end

world

hunger.

In

fact,

they

are

much

more

interested

in

hearing

your

observations

about

the

frequency

of

cars

running

yellow

lights

at

the

intersection

near

your

home

or

how

many

years

it

has

taken

for

that

oak

sapling

outside

your

front

window

to

push

up

the

sidewalk

slabs

it.

You're

probably

asking

yourself

why

on

earth

anyone

could

be

more

interested

in

your

intersection

or

oak

tree

than

your

great

trip

or

humanitarian

ideals.

The

answer

is

simple:

Because

the

intersection

and

that

oak

tree

can

tell

more

about

who

you

are

and

how

you

think.

[College

Confidential:

Ivy

Applications:

Admissions

Essays

for

Ivy

League

Schools

–

It’s

All

About

Voice]

Of

course

you

have

to

impress

whoever’s

reading

your

application

enough

to

make

them

want

to

admit

you,

but

it

doesn’t

have

to

be

through

endless

parading

of

accomplishments

or

lofty

‐

sounding

ideals.

They

are

interested

in

you

as

a

person

–

in

who

you

are

–

so

don’t

let

your

awards

overshadow

you.

Why

not

tell

them

about

your

thoughts?

About

what

makes

you

(certainly

not

your

awards,

I

hope)?

Going

down

the

path

of

clichéd

essays

will

be

safe,

at

best,

but

it

won’t

tell

the

admissions

officers

anything

different

about

you

than

all

the

other

applicants.

There’s

something

else,

though.

It’s

how

you

write

about

the

topic

that

makes

the

difference.

So

if

you

can

take

one

of

those

clichéd

topics

above,

and

write

it

in

a

wholly

beautiful

and

new

way

with

your

own

unique

perspective,

I’ll

go

so

far

as

to

say

that

you’ll

score

big

points

for

your

essay.

Intentionally Insulting

Meet mr. negativity

When

you

write,

make

sure

that

whatever

you

say

to

the

admissions

officers,

you

would

be

comfortable

saying

to

almost

everyone

else.

If

you

wouldn’t

show

your

essay

to,

say,

a

friend

because

you

knew

it

would

offend

him/her,

then

why

would

the

admissions

officers

not

be

possibly

offended

by

that

same

essay?

Sure,

you

have

a

right

to

your

opinion,

although

if

you’re

going

to

complain

about

something

in

the

essay,

you’d

better

sound

mature

and

objective

about

it.

But

sometimes

you

may

not

realize

that

what

you

say

(or

more

often

than

not,

how

you

say

it)

may

come

across

as

insulting/snobbing,

and

this

is

where

you

need

objective

friends

to

help

read

your

writing

and

point

it

out

to

you.

An

extremely

common

trend

is

to

hurl

criticism

after

criticism

at

the

local

education

system

and

how

it

stifles

students

from

truly

becoming

critical

‐

thinking

and

creative

people,

how

they

rarely

had

the

chance

to

speak

up,

how

the

examination

oriented

system…you

get

it.

For

the

record,

I’m

not

a

big

fan

of

the

system

either.

I

agree

with

most

of

the

criticisms,

and

I

know

how

liberating

it

feels

to

be

able

to

finally

write

about

this.

But

it

is

very

hard

to

write

a

great

essay

fueled

by

only

anger

and

frustration,

and

I

rarely

read

any

which

tackle

the

‘The

System’

theme

well.

If

you

must

write

on

this,

do

more

than

have

a

bashfest.

Write

about

your

own

experiences.

Perhaps

you

found

your

own

way

to

overcome

the

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