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Volume 88, Issue 4 The Voice of the Colorado School of Mines, a Superior Education in Applied Science and Engineering September 24, 2007
Hilary B
Throughout the mov- scientist in a one-on-
ie, she is seen trudging one battle. This final
rown /
through the Nevada des- battle is short and
Even If It Kills Me
ert looking for survivors not very impressive.
Oredig
from the viral epidemic Isaacs’ death is
ge
that has engulfed the brief and painful, and
r
The album starts off with a burst ends presented during the album’s world. On her journey, then it jumps to Tokyo
Tim Weilert
of energy and the catchy tunes story, leaving the listener with she joins a convoy whose where the other men
Staff Writer
“Fell In Love With- an optimistic tone. plan becomes to reach a have congregated in yet
Two years since the release of out You” and the “This record is a great Justin Pierre, safe haven in Alaska. The way to another top secret underground
their breakthrough album Com- single “This Is For Motion City Sound- Alaska has one catch: they must fortress, with zombies engulfing the
mit This To Memory, Motion City Real.” Ironically, listen for a fans of track’s lead singer stop in Las Vegas for gas. Mean- city. Alice uses a communication de-
Soundtrack are back with their the most upbeat and lyricist, has writ- while, evil men in lab coats and sun- vice to speak with the evil scientists.
new disc Even If It Kills Me. Motion tracks focus pop-punk.” ten songs that are glasses in a top secret underground The ending is a cliff hanger
City Soundtrack have developed on the distress easily accessible, research facility plot Alice’s capture. that easily predicts the plot of
their trademark sound of 80’s style caused by a serious breakup. The quirky and ironic, yet at the same They believe that her blood the next movie. This movie is
keyboards, strong vocals, and synth-driven ride continues through time remain frantic and reflect on his can neutralize the virus, or cre- definitely not a must see, wait
power chords into one of the most several songs, although the album own personal issues. This record is a t e a m e g a - v i r u s , re s u l t i n g until it’s on DVD or have one of
anticipated albums of 2007. Even If does become slow and thoughtful a great listen for a fans of pop-punk, in super zombies. One of the your friends buy you a ticket.
It Kills Me is the modern story about for “The Conversation,” but picks up yet it still reaches deep enough lyri- selfish scientists bent on world If you honestly want to go
heartbreak, soul-searching, and fall- again with “Broken Heart.” Ending cally and musically to be enjoyable domination eventually injects this see it that much, be my guest.
ing in love again with someone de- on a solid note, the title track “Even for connoisseurs of indie music. mega-virus into his bloodstream. If you’re a person who loves cli-
scribed as “...the pizza of my eye.” If It Kills Me” wraps up all the loose The movie is characterized by ché zombie movies, maniacal
several fight scenes that add a little scientists, and Milla Jovovich,
merit to the plot. The whole idea of a this movie might be for you.
Cre
1 hr to chill (or as long as you want)
Total time: 1 hr, 40 minutes
Serves: 5 or 6
ALL DAY MONDAY WEDNESDAY 8 - 10PM
Ingredients:
Half-price Calzones with Play Buzz Time Trivia Prepared pastry or graham cracker pie crust
purchase of beverage and win great prizes 1 3.4-oz instant vanilla pudding mix
1 banana
or side salad $6.99 pitchers of beer
1 3/4 cups milk
Volleyball
Volleyball:
Updated Sports
Football:
Mines 7 Chadron 35 Mines 0 Nebraska-Kearney 3
Mines 2 Chadron State 3
Scores
Adams State 21 New Mexico Highlands 29
Lily Giddings Western N.M. 3 CSU-Pueblo 0
Melinda Bartel Western New Mexico 42 Western State 39
Content Manager Fort Lewis 3 Western State 1
Mesa State 17 Fort Lewis 3 Metro State 3 Regis 0
Staff Writer
Women’s Soccer: UC-Colorado Springs 3 Colorado Christian 0
Golf: Adams State 3 N.M. Highlands 0
Last Saturday night the var- Mines 1 Metro State 0 CSU-Pueblo 3 N.M. Highlands 0
Western New Mexico U 888
sity volleyball team lost to the New Mexico Highlands 3 Mesa State 2 Mesa State 3 Western State 0
Colorado-CO Springs 892
University of Nebraska Kearny in Colorado Christian 901 Colorado Christian 3 Regis 2 Metro State 3 UC-Colorado Springs 0
3 games (16-30, 21-30, 17-30). CSU-Pueblo 1 Fort Lewis 0 Men’s Soccer: Regis 3 Colorado Christian 0
Colorado St.-Pueblo 915
Kaity Edmiston led the way Regis University 922 Mines 1 Metro State 0 Western N.M. 3 Adams State 0
for the Orediggers with 10 kills. Nebraska-Kearney, U. 934 New Mexico Highlands 3 Mesa State 2 Colorado Christian 3 Johnson and Wales 0
Fort Lewis College 935 Colorado Christian 3 Regis 2 Nebraska-Kearney 3 Chadron State 0
Elizabeth Sierra-Hsu and Em-
Mines 957 CSU-Pueblo 1 Fort Lewis 0 Fort Lewis 3 Mesa State 1
ily Collett also had good games
W W W . D I G G E R N E T. N E T
back alone. The young players the baseball, Helton is playing games
Rockies have nurtured from their that matter going into the last week
farm system have finally turned into of the season and he and the rest of
stars. Most notably, the Rockies the team are making the most of it.
Page 6 September 24, 2007 September 24, 2007 Page 7
S
Greivel, Gus (MACS223)
Peterson, Larry (PHGN384)
Meckel, Larry (GEGN609)
Kiousis, Panos (EGGN441,
Hughes, Dave (PAGN211)
McMullin, Dale (MACS306) Sumit Agarwal
Miskimins, Jennifer (PE426) EGGN541, EGGN445) Crocker, Joe (EGES598
Ozbay, M U (MNGN445) Hoff, W. (EG504) PAGN307) John Helibrunn
Woosley, Robert (LAIS559) Ergun, Omur (MN598) Carr, Lincoln (PHGN499)
Tsvankin, Ilya (GPGN553)
Berg, Marni (LAIS598)
Rozgonyi/Grubb (MN424)
Upmanyu, Moneesh (EGES598)
Blair, Ellie (MAGN315)
Miller, Hugh (MNGNa428)
Lincoln Carr
Van Tyne, Chester (MTGN464) Hamm, Nathaniel (EGGN250) Boyes, Stephen (CHGN536)
Matlock, David (MT560) Sullivan, Neal (EGGN351) Spann, Martin (EPICS251) Richard Burczyk
Lefton, Toni (LAIS301, LAIS 401, Colagrosso, Michael (MACS575, Siemers, Arthur (PAGN223,
LAIS498)
Cecil, F. Edward (PHGN424)
MACS442)
Job, Carol (MACS213)
PAGN323, PAGN102)
Petrella, Anthony (EGES598)
Stephen Liu
Woodson, Sandra (LAIS100) Ammerman, Ravel (EGGN389)
Sneider, Roel (GPGN322) Persichetti, John (CHEN420, Christian Ciobanu
Ciobanu, Christian (EGES598) CHEN505)
Knecht, Robert (EPICS252)
Stermole, John (CHEN421)
Lu, Ning (EGGN465)
Cowdrey, John (EGGN389)
Robert Kee
Jechura, John (CHEN409, McAuliffe, Sharon (MACS111) Toni Lefton
CHEN517) Levine, Richard (LAIS485)
McKinnon, Tom (CHEN498) Gurgur, Cigdem (EBGN498) Stephen Weidner
Santi, Paul (GEGN598) Miller, Dan (LAIS100)
Smathers, Ted (EPICS151) Pass, Rose (LAIS100) Panos Kiousis
Kawahata, Kazuhiro (MNGN433) Tyburski, Sue (LICM301)
Landkamer, Lee (ESGN500) Kohlenstein, Frank (PAGN271) Carol Job
Weidner, Stephen (LIMU102, Krueger, Paula (PAGN273)
LIMU202, LIMU402) Lewis, Dan (PAGN242) Arthur Siemers
Hart, Mark (MNGN598) Stevens, Jamie (PAGN102) Full scholarships for science and
technology students
Basis for Above Conclusions The benefits of the KAUST Discovery Scholarship include:
s &ULL TUITION AT CURRENT INSTITUTION
1. The “Most Demanding Professors” section lists all professors who were s ,IVING STIPEND BOOK AND COMPUTER ALLOWANCE
s 5PON GRADUATION ADMISSION AND FULL SCHOLARSHIP FOR THE +!534
rated as “Very Demanding” by at least 90% of any given class. MASTERS DEGREE PROGRAM AT THE 5NIVERSITYS 2ED 3EA CAMPUS
4HE +!534 CAMPUS OPENS IN 3EPTEMBER (IGHLY TALENTED
2. The “Highest Ranked Professors” section lists all professors who were STUDENTS WITH ONE TO THREE YEARS REMAINING IN l RST UNIVERSITY DEGREE
ranked as “Superior” by at least 90% of any given class. PROGRAMS CAN APPLY NOW
Campus Rivalries Five Things They Don’t Tell You About Abroad Pepsi Presents:
Greg Smith Oliver Todd
Chief Schoolographer Abroad and in charge
“The drinks and nights you’ll never remember...” CSM
Detroit Lakes High School in
Tim Weilert
Studying abroad is a great experience. Where else can you get credit for traveling, partying, and occasionally going to
Detroit Lakes, Minnesota is one class? Regardless, it is not as cut and dry as it seems. There are a lot of things that your school will never prepare you Addicted to Coke
of the up and coming movers for or things that they won’t tell you. Being the world traveler that I am, I decided to share five things that everyone The nearly $25 million Stu-
and shakers in the engineer- should know before they study abroad.
ing community. The Princeton
dent Recreation Center opened
Review has since rated DLHS last month to marching band
1. US airline carriers stink for international flights
a staggering 511 places be- Most US airlines are fine but are absolutely horrible for more than three hours. I flew Lufthansa (a German airline) to music, unfortunately when the
hind MIT in all-around Physics Europe and it was delightful. As soon as I sat down they gave me hot towels (something I thought was reserved for university got the bill for the new
and Engineering (which is 512 the snobs in first class), my own TV screen, soft fleece blankets, and most importantly -- alcohol. I’m not afraid of center this month the music had
places behind CSM for those flying by any means, but booze makes the nine hour trek across the Atlantic with a 70-year old woman asking you to stopped. Raising the price of tu-
of you keeping track,) and it operate her Ipod every 20 minutes much more bearable. The attendants periodically walk up with wine and beer, look- ition, student fees, meal plans
seems that the secondary school ing at you oddly if you decline their offer (regardless of your age). By the time the second movie started, I was hoping and a variety of other costs to
has their sights set on Mines. to take the door off of the bathroom and lay it on the seats, so I could show Grandma how to play Beer Pong. students did not effectively place
“Colorado School of Mimes?”
l a u g h s P r i n c i p l e S t e v e M o r-
the school on track for paying off
2. It is cheaper to be drunk than hydrated
ben at his ingenious, original the bonds used for the building.
Blame it on the exchange rate or the fact that the alcohol gods love the world more than Americans, but booze is two
joke. “What are they, like num- things here: abundant and cheap. So far, I have been able to find booze at movie theaters, metro stations, and literally
ber two Petroleum Engineer- 50 yards from a children’s playground. At each one of those places, beer costs as much as a bottle of water. Take a That’s why, for the last few
ing School in the world? They second to let that sink in. A half liter of good beer is about 50 cents cheaper than a half liter of water. By this logic, I weeks, high ranking members
could do better if you ask me.” can justify my drunken antics as a budgetary measure rather than an immature cry for attention from my parents. of CSM’s administrative fac-
The school has recently be- ulty have been meeting with top
gun a number of initiatives to 3. If you travel by train, you will have a scary experience executives from multi-billion
shift their focus from its rela- One of the best things about being abroad is like the beer, travel is cheap, and especially by train. It is pretty easy to dollar corporations. They’ve fi-
tively “candy-ass” liberal arts understand the train system, but everyone I’ve ever met has some crazy story that involves the threat of being thrown
curriculum to the more technical
nally come to a consensus and
off in a random Central European town that looks like the setting of “Hostel III: The Musical.” My story involves an
side of the spectrum. Some of chosen Pepsi Bottling Co. as
Ipod, a set of speakers, a drunk roommate, the song “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey, one mad train conductor, and
these new programs include but a very distinct language barrier. (I knew how to say “Yes,” “No,” “Beer,” “Thank You,” and “Cucumber”) It made the official corporate sponsor of
are not limited to: “Neon Sign for a tense couple of minutes. Luckily, we got out of trouble by paying a small fine. A word to the wise: letting your the Colorado School of Mines.
Production 101,” “Principles inebriated roommate blast his “Old School S***” play list is a bad idea, regardless of location.
of Grocery Bag Engineering,” What does this decision mean
“Advanced Arc/TIG Welding,” 4. There is no such thing as a language barrier when it comes to Chinese food for the individual student? To be-
“Marine Outboard Motor Re- I love Chinese food. That’s why I’m glad Chinese food is popular in Europe. Not only that, but every waiter I’ve met gin, the only majors available will
pair,” and “Fluid Mechanics II.” at Chinese restaurants in Europe speaks perfect English. I’ve had Chinese food in at least five different countries and concern bottling, chemical analy-
“We actually had a student at- they all offer better service than waiters in the U.S. I really think it’s part of some Chinese communist plot to plant
tend that tech school in Colorado.
sis, market research, and taste
sleeper cells in all these countries that will rise up against us all when the signal is given. The sad thing is, as long as I
He graduated last year. Greg I testing. The beloved fight song
keep getting crab cheese wantons with my meal, I’m ok with it.
think his name was. Greatest mind will be changed to Michael Jack-
to ever walk out of these doors. 5. Regardless of proximity to Greece, most Europeans don’t understand a “toga party” son’s “Billie Jean” (once used for
I thought he would be someone, My friends and I had a movie night that centered on “college.” This, of course, led to a viewing of “Animal House”. Pepsi commercials). Furthermore,
make something of himself, but After watching, we all wrapped our bed sheets over our shoulders for a decent toga party in the comfort of our apart- the “M” will be changed to look
instead, he’s at School of Mines.” ment. Next, we traveled to a cool rooftop bar a couple of blocks away. While most people changed into street clothes, like Pepsi’s trademarked logo.
Detroit Lakes High School a few of us decided it would be a good idea to keep the toga party going. Our logic: “We are in Europe. We are closer
hopes to be among the top to Greece. Toga parties are cool in the U.S. They must be super cool here.” This was apparently not true. During this age of corpo-
engineering schools in the The bouncers were not so happy with our attire choice. We were trying to explain our choice armed only with the
country by 2012, but we’ll
rate branding CSM should
words “Yes,” “No,” “Beer,” “Thank You,” and “Cucumber” in our vocabularies. After a long and arduous discussion,
all be dead by then anyway. be glad to have a solid spon-
we got in and had a good time with the exception of the long (and cold) walk home at three in the morning… alone.
(Not great for getting numbers) But on a positive note, I discovered that prostitutes don’t solicit if you are wearing sor, especially since the col-
lapse of “Enron Presents CU.”
Ode to a Friend less clothing than they are.
When you too, go abroad for a semester of fun, be sure to keep these in mind. Trust me: they will come in handy.
Mike Stone
Zackary Mills is one of the
coolest guys I know. His rug-
Mad Mines-You become the reporter!
ged good looks are only matched
by his shredding abilities on Colorado School of Mines Professor ____________
Proper Noun
guitar. Unfortunately, he’s a lit-
tle slow… on the Rugby pitch.
Zack made a big tackle on Sun-
made the _________
Noun department shocked when he
day vs. Western State and fell as
another player landed on top of
was caught ________
Infinitive another teacher’s ________.
Noun
his ankle. Before he got up, he
noticed his foot was dislocated off Witness say he ___________
Past Tense Verb it for _______
Number hours.
to the side. Fortunately for Zack
and unfortunately for the reader, he As he finished he screamed, “I am the fairy god
popped his ankle back into place
and played the rest of the game OJ Simpson _______!!!
Noun All bow to my electronic _______Noun in all
leading Mines to a 68-12 victory. OJ always needs a catchy slo-
After hunting four hours the next
day, it was the size of a watermelon.
gan for when he goes to trial.
How about, “If Cochran’s its glory!!!” Right as he Past
__________
Tense Verb out the window,
As a friend, I finally convinced
him to get it X-Rayed and he got
ice cream for being a good boy.
not there, you must despair”?
-Matt Pusard __________!!!
Onomatopoeia Police slapped the cuffs on him and
Ladies, if you should see Zack “If the Sports Memorabilia took him to the _________
Location for questioning. When
walking around campus with
his “man crutches” and “Bad-
Does not Fit, You Must Ac-
quit!” -Adam Freeland asked why he did it, he replied, “I _______
Verb 1 and I
Boy brace,” simply stop him
and say, “I’m so glad you got
the X-Ray, and I can’t wait un-
“The glove and knife were ________
Verb 1 everyday and I’m tired of it. Why not?”
til you’re 100%.” After that, you
can walk away or give him your
mine, and I wanted them
back,” claimed Juice. The suspect’s friend, ___________,
Proper Noun bailed him out
number. You’re welcome, buddy. –Mike Stone
claiming, “He’s a ____________
Adjective guy. Lay off.” -Mike Stone
September 24, 2007
Fool’s Gold Page 11
Student Dies
of Homework
Overdose
“Oh Crap,” says Random Guy
off the Street, “Proof that
Nunavut actually exists”.
Matthew Pusard in place today, the level would
International Correspondent be orange for “Poor schmucks.”
CSM is expected to be greatly
History was made last Thursday affected by this homework scare.
when a student at the Community In some of the school’s classes,
College of Nunavut died of acute such as Calculus II and NHV, a
homework poisoning. The student homework alternative has already
collapsed while writing a 46 page been approved. Instead of giving
paper for his History of Alternative out plentiful assignments, every 5th
Rock 101 course. Patrick F. N. student will simply be bludgeoned
Snow, 20, was comparing the re- with his own shoes. Students fear-
Head-to-Head
union of the ing bludgeoning
S m a s h i n g “President George W. Bush are recommend-
Pumpkins to ed to come to
the second will create the new position class in crocs or
coming of without shoes.
Jesus when of Homework Security Advi- While there
he suddenly is some con-
c o l l a p s e d sor in his cabinet to monitor cern that less
to his key- homework will
b o a rd . H i s homework over-saturation.” lead to less un-
roommate
quickly called 911 and Snow
derstanding of
course material, recent studies
Top 10 Why The Hall of
Justice Is Still Standing
was rushed to the hospital. show the average Mines student
After extracting the “g” key from doesn’t understand what they
Snow’s nasal passage, doctors at just learned even after gradua-
the Frozen Mallard Medical Center tion. They only know they had
ran a toxicology screen and a wallet the hardest time trying to get to 10. To befuddle freshmen who don’t 10. It is cheaper to build a building
test. While the wallet came back that point of “know nothing-ness.” know what HOJ is over it, on stilts, than to tear down
negative for currency, the tox screen Coors Brewing Company is also 9. HOJ? Is there a vaccine for that? 9. All of the school’s explosives
showed that his immune system in a panic about the homework de-
was being overrun by information crease. Since CSM has comprised 8. There are too many parking resources are at Edgar Mine
packets. His blood-info-packet 82% of their sales in recent years, spaces on campus 8. Demolition would collapse the
content was 6 times the legal limit. without homework, there will be 7. The 1960’s produced the best school’s underground tunnel network
Patrick was immediately shown no demand for beer. This drop in
reruns of Jerry Springer and reality demand might leave the company looking architecture style 7. New target for the E-days
television, but Snow succumbed teetering on the brink of bankruptcy. 6. The Rec. Center I never go to cost trebuchet contest
to his illness at 7:43 PM that night. In response to Nunavut, Canada too much 6. Located on ancient Indian Burial
“It looks like someone has a case has allowed homework to remain
of the dead-sicles,” proclaimed his legal, with certain restrictions. 5. The explosives club hasn’t Grounds
physician, Dr. Turk Turkleton, before To counteract the negative ef- submitted its demolition proposal 5. Inbound pilots use it as a
officially pronouncing Snow dead. fects, every student is required yet navigational beacon for DIA
The death overseas has im- to watch six hours of hockey a
pacted schools in the United States week and frequently listen to the 4. The board of trustees has their 4. It covers a Cold War secret missile
already. The federal government music of the nation’s most sa- monthly secret society meeting on silo
has declared a moratorium on cred rock band, Our Lady Peace. the top floor 3. No one knows who owns the Hall
any and all assignments outside With experts questioning the
of classes and it is believed that diagnosis, Dr. Turkelton rebutted, 3. “Asbestos” is a fun word to say of Justice
President George W. Bush will cre- “Homework poisoning does too 2. Hall of Justice? Guggenheim is 2. Bob Francisco’s office is on the 8th
ate the new position of Homework exist.” He continued, “While I can WAY older! floor
Security Advisor in his cabinet to respect my colleagues challeng-
monitor homework over-saturation. ing my accurate cause of death, 1. To convince students and parents 1. It is an orphanage for survivors
A five color alert system has been ultimately, it was either the home- that Superman lives in Golden of the accidental Rec. Center
devised with blue for “kinder- work or the massive quantities demolition
garten homework” and red for of marijuana in his system. The
“Haha, you’re not going to get any most likely case is the homework.” Adam Freeland
Tim Weilert
sleep tonight!” If the system were
Independence For ALL! Fruitstan is FREE!!! Adam Freeland ing the charge towards freedom.
The winning political push came
“There is victory now, but Fruit- of Stans. W a r
Fruit Enthusiast
during the “Save Fruitstan, Save stan will find its place in history has raged
The Civil war that has raged in northern the World” campaign which has in the
Kazakhstan has finally come to an end as the raised $457 million more than the books much sooner than later.” area and
UN officially recognized the People’s Mar- “Save Darfur” effort. The campaign, has left
ket Republic of Fruitstan. unlike the Darfur virtually all persons under age 45 dead. The
The war started 5 months “The winning political push came effort, has been mean age in Fruitstan is now 48. Fallout from
ago along side protests successful due to the nuclear climax of the war left the entire
of the internationally ac- during the “Save Fruitstan, Save economical con- country sterile, but the fruit ripe and delicious.
claimed documentary An venience: a safe It is estimated that the there will be no one
Incontinent Truth Bo- the World” campaign which has place for all trav- left in Fruitstan by December 2012. This is
rat. After being moved by elers to stop and oddly ironic as all surviving Mayans were re-
the plight of the people raised $457 million more than get cheap fresh located to Fruitstan just over seven years ago.
Map courtesy of www.theodora.com/ of Northern Kazakhstan, fruit when cross- There is victory now, but Fruitstan will find its
maps, used with permission. many helped in lead- the “Save Darfur” effort.” ing the Asia full place in history books much sooner than later.
Page 12
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