Volume 88, Issue 7 The Voice of the Colorado School of Mines, a Superior Education in Applied Science and Engineering
cience and Engineering
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Student
Loans -
The Spiral
Explosion in High-Priced
Student Loans Sow Seeds of
Trouble for U.S. Economic Growth
Marcy Gordon
Associated Press
The near doubling in the cost of
a college degree the past decade
has produced an explosion in high-
priced student loans that could
haunt the U.S. economy for years.
While scholarship, grant money
and government-backed student
loans – whose interest rates are
capped – have taken up some
of the slack, many families and
individual students have turned
to private loans, which carry fees
and interest rates that are often
variable and up to 20 percent.
Many in the next generation of
workers will be so debt-burdened
they will have to delay home pur-
chases, limit vacations, even eat
out less to pay loans off on time.
Kristin Cole, 30, who gradu-
ated from Michigan State Uni-
versity’s law school and lives
in Grand Rapids, Mich., owes
$150,000 in private and govern-
ment-backed student loans. Her
monthly payment of $660, which
consumes a quarter of her take-
home pay, is scheduled to jump to
$800 in a year or so, confronting
her with stark financial choices.
“I could never buy a house. I
can’t travel; I can’t do anything,”
she said. “I feel like a prisoner.”
A legal aid worker, Cole said
she may need to get a job at a
law firm, “doing something that
I’m not real dedicated to, just for
the sake of being able to live.”
Parents are still the primary
source of funds for many stu-
dents, but the dynamics were
News - 2
October 17, 2007
Green Campus Movement
Environmental Concerns Around College Campuses
radically altered in recent years
as tuition costs soared and
sources of readily available and
more costly private financing
made higher education seem-
ingly available to anyone will-
ing to sign a loan application.
Students with no credit history
and no relatives to co-sign loans (or
co-signing parents with tarnished
credit) were willing to bet that
high-priced loans were a trade-off
for a shot at the American dream.
But high-paying jobs are prov-
ing elusive for many graduates.
“This is literally a new form
of indenture ... something that
every American parent should
b e s c a re d o f,” said Barmak
Nassirian, associate executive
director of the American As-
sociation of Collegiate Regis-
trars and Admissions Officers.
More than $17 billion in private
student loans were issued last
year, up from $4 billion a year in
2001. Outstanding student bor-
rowing jumped from $38 billion in
1995 to $85 billion last year, ac-
cording to experts and lawmakers.
Rocketing tuition fees made
borrowing that much more appeal-
ing. Consumer prices on average
rose less than 29 percent over the
past 10 years while tuition, fees,
and room and board at four-year
public colleges and universities
soared 79 percent to $12,796 a
year and 65 percent to $30,367
a year at private institutions, ac-
cording to the College Board.
See “Loans” pg 2
Features - 3
Tim Weilert
Staff Writer
Environmental issues have
become a major concern in the
United States, especially amongst
its institutions of higher educa-
tion. Practically speaking, the
future leaders and thinkers
of the world as a whole are
being trained in said uni-
versities and colleges. In
June 2007, over 200 uni-
versity presidents pledged
to make their campuses
“carbon neutral.” Some
universities have tak-
en large steps in what
has officially become
known as the “Green
Campus Initiative.”
Local univer-
sities Colorado
College, in Colora-
do Springs, and the
University of Colorado
Boulder have recently
expanded their environ-
mental programs, follow-
ing the national trends.
CSM, from an official stand-
point, has taken environmen-
tal issues seriously. Several
groups on campus have been
researching the school’s involve-
ment in the “green” movement.
During the Fall 2007 semester,
students from the McBride Honors
Nobel Prizes Announced
Peace Award to Former Vice President Al Gore
Melinda Bartel
Staff Writer
The winners of the six No-
bel Prizes were announced last
week. The prizes are annually
awarded in the areas of Medi-
cine, Physics, Chemistry, Liter-
ature, Peace, and Economics.
The 2007 Nobel Prize in Medi-
cine was awarded to Marrio Capec-
chi, Sir Martin Evans, and Oliver
Smithies, “for their discoveries
of principles for introducing spe-
cific gene modifications in mice
by the use of embryonic stem
cells.” Essentially, they discov-
ered a way to manipulate mouse
genes that could lead to major
medical advancements in treating
genetic disorders. Each doctor is
receiving 1/3 of the prize, accord-
ing to the Nobel Prize website.
The Physics Prize was awarded
to Albert Fert of France and Peter
Grunberg of Germany “for the dis-
covery of Giant Magnetoresistance.”
In layman’s terms, they discovered a
way in which computers can store
data on “ever-shrinking” hard disks.
Editorials - 6
Program, as a part of a Cultural ber and manager of the re-
Anthropology course, have been cycling program, offers these
analyzing whether CSM is becom- practical tips for conserving:
ing part of the “Green Campus” -Think before throwing items
trend, or if more improvements in the trash and before throw-
are needed to merit such a clas- ing them in recycling bins. A lot
sification*. Jojo La, a McBride of man hours – which means
student, found that many students taxpayer and tuition money –
are not aware of recycling and can be wasted in separating
environmental programs. Her items placed in the wrong bins.
personal research and opinions -Think before you buy. Check
suggest that students would be product packaging and make sure
more likely to conserve through the packaging can be recycled
recycling, alternative transporta- before you make a purchase.
tion, and other actions, if more According to Elliott, other
was done on a campus-wide practical applications of “go-
level to promote such programs. ing green” may include:
The campus recycling pro- -Walking/Biking. Not only
gram, operated by Environmental will you burn calories, but
Health & Safety, began 16 years you’ll cut down on gasoline
ago and reported that over 40 consumption and emissions.
tons of various materials were -Familiarize yourself with the
recycled on campus last year. various programs already available.
Recycling functions in two ways: Mines may enter the “Green
to divert recyclable materials
from landfills and to capture
Campus” movement if students
become personally involved in
waste that contains hazardous
materials. For those living in the
recycling and conservation pro-
grams. Additionally, CSM adminis-
residence halls, boxes for paper
recycling are available. #1 and #2
tration may need to focus on mini-
mizing trash volume by purchasing
plastics, glass, cardboard, and biodegradable products and low-
newspapers and other materials ering consumption. Mines has set
may be recycled in the container goals and written mission state-
located on the north side of Brad- ments regarding the environment.
ford Hall. The Student Center, *Participants in the McBride
Weaver Towers, Student Recre- study will present the results of their
ation Center and Mines Park have studies through a poster session
similar recycling opportunities. on December 5, from 6 to 9 p.m.
Gayle Elliott, EHS staff mem- in Ballroom A in the student center.
The winner of the Chemistry change, and to lay the foundations
Prize was Gerhard Ertl of Ger- for the measures that are need-
many, “for his studies of chemical ed to counteract such change,”
processes on solid surfaces.” His stated the Nobel Prize website.
research has opened up the hid- And finally, the Economics Prize
den world of surface chemistry was awarded to Leonid Hurwicz,
for investigation. His contribution Eric Maskin, and Roger Myerson,
will help answer the question of all from the United States. To-
why the ozone layer is thinning. gether, they “laid the foundations of
The Nobel Prize in Literature was mechanism design theory,” accord-
given to Doris Less- ing to the Nobel
ing, a novelist from
the United King-
“...Al Gore awarded ‘for... Prize website.
The Nobel
dom. The Swed- efforts to build up and dis- P r i z e s w e r e
ish Academy said first awarded
she was, “the epi- seminate greater knowl- in 1901. The
cist of the female economics
experience, who edge about man-made prize was cre-
with skepticism, ated in 1969.
fire and visionary climate change...’” The prizes are
power has subject- named after the
ed a divided civ- famous Swed-
i l i z a t i o n t o s c r u t i n y. ” ish chemist, Alfred Nobel, the
The Nobel Peace Prize was man who invented dynamite. He
awarded this year to Al Gore and the dictated in his will that he wanted
Intergovernmental Panel on Climate world recognitions in several ar-
Change (IPCC). They were given eas. The award ceremony will
this honor “for their efforts to build occur in Stockholm, Sweden and
up and disseminate greater knowl- Oslo, Norway on December 10,
edge about man-made climate the anniversary of Nobel’s death.
Sports - 7 Fool’s Gold - 8
Page 2
News October 17, 2007

GERMANY- Germany’s
lower parliament voted early
last week to deploy 3,000
more troops to Iraq. Citi-
zens in the country have
expressed scorn for this
decision, and polls have pre-
viously shown that the Ger-
UNITED STATES- Marion man public does not support
Jones admitted to using involvement in the Iraqi war.
steroids before competing
in the 2000 Olympic Games.
Because of her confession,
Jones will be stripped of all
of the records and awards
won after September 2000.
Jones was also banned
from the sport of Track and
VATICAN CITY- Pope
Field for a minimum of two
Benedict XVI spoke out
years. She announced her
against the capture of two
retirement the same day.
Catholic priests in Iraq last
week during his weekly
blessing of the pilgrims to
CUBA- For the first time St. Peter’s Square in Rome.
since handing over his con- Reports have said that the
trol of Cuba, Fidel Castro JAPAN- After an earth-
armed men ambushed the
made a live television ap- quake rocked northern Ja-
two priests and declared
pearance wherein he held a pan at the beginning of last
a ransom on their lives.
discussion with Venezuelan week, a nuclear plant re-
president Hugo Chavez. ported that a small amount
After Fidel Castro suffered of radioactive material had
serious illness and required been leaked. Officials de-
an operation, Raul Castro nied that the leakage was a
took power of the country health concern to locals. The
in place of his ailing brother. spill of materials has raised
concerns about the safety
of Japanese nuclear plants
and potential for catastrophic
results should the nation
suffer a devastating quake.
Emily Trudell, Staff Writer

Exorbitant Student Loans Worry Experts

Continued from pg 1
Scholarship and grant money
have increased, yet for almost 15
years, the maximum available per
person in government-guaranteed
student loans, which by law can’t
charge rates above 6.8 percent,
has remained at $23,000 total for
four years. That’s less than half the
average four-year tuition, room and
Road trippin' to
board of $51,000 at public colleges
and $121,000 at private institutions.
Sallie Mae, formally known as
SLM Corp., has been on the winning
side of the loan bonanza. Its portfolio
of 10 million customers includes $25
billion in private and $128 billion
in government-backed education
loans. However, private-equity inves-
tors who had offered $25 billion to
buy the company backed out last
week, citing credit market weakness
and a new law cutting billions of dol-
lars in subsidies to student lenders.
Citigroup Inc., Bank of America
Corp., JPMorgan Chase & Co.,
Wells Fargo & Co., Wachovia Corp.
and Regions Financial Corp. are
also big players in the private stu-
dent loan business. And there
has been an explosion in special-
ized student loan lenders, such as
EduCap, Nelnet Inc., NextStudent
Inc., Student Loan Corp., College
Loan Corp., CIT Group Inc. and
Education Finance Partners Inc.
The question is whether everyone
who borrowed will be able to repay.
Committee approved a bill that
would mandate clearer disclosure of
rates and terms on private student
loans. The bill also would require a
30-day comparison shopping period
after loan approval, during which time
the offer terms could not be altered.
New York Attorney General An-
drew Cuomo said many graduates
who borrowed owe as much if not
more than most homeowners owe
on mortgages. Unlike mortgages
with clear consumer disclosure re-
quirements — even from nonbank
lenders, private lending is “the Wild
West of the student loan industry,”
he said in a telephone interview.
law puts private student loans on
par with child support and alimony
payments: Lenders can garnish
wages if someone doesn’t pay.
Cuomo’s probe revealed what he
calls an “appalling pattern of favorit-
ism” for student lenders that pro-
vided kickbacks, revenue-sharing
plans and trips to college administra-
tors in exchange for recommended
lender status. Other critics allege
widespread corrupt arrangements
propelled a student loan boom.
Lenders deny such charges,
arguing that industry growth re-
sulted from surging education
costs and that higher interest

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QVWZZW\UT]`OeSSY faces paying $1,600 a month on his
Experts don’t track default rates on
private student loans, but many pre-
dict sharp increases in years to come.
Dr. Paul-Henry Zottola, a 35-year-
old periodontist in Rocky Hill, Conn.,
student loan on top of a $2,300 mort-
gage payment and $1,500 on the
Critics say what happened in the
mortgage market could happen in
the student loan market. Cuomo,
who conducted a nationwide inves-
tigation, said the parallels between
the two markets are “provocative.”
Demand for bundled student
loans sold to institutional inves-
rates are justified for unsecured
loans to borrowers with blem-
ished or insufficient credit records.
“Lenders take 100 percent of the
repayment risk on flexible private-
education loans made to people
with limited credit histories, on which
they will not get repaid for several

Snowriders Fest X Jackson Hole

loan he took out to start his practice.
His credit record remains solid
but he owes more than $300,000
in student loans as he and his wife,
!#T]`#\WUVbaObA\]e9W\U@Sa]`b Heather, an elementary school ad-
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“It would be very easy to feel
crushed by it,” Zottola said in
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an interview. “All my income for
the next 10 years is spoken for.”
0SbVS`ST]`A\]e`WRS`a4SabF Meanwhile, complaints about
8O\cO`g % & marketing of private loans — like ads
ASSg]c]\bVS`]OR promising to approve loans worth
$50,000 in just minutes — are on the
[]UcZaQ][a\]e`WRS`a& rise. The complaints have made their
way to lawmakers, who see a need
to regulate the highly profitable and
diverse group of companies and the
loans they make to college students.
In August, the Senate Banking
tors worldwide fueled lending to
students. The market for private
student loan-backed securities leapt
76 percent last year, to $16.6 billion,
from $9.4 billion in 2005, accord-
ing to Moody’s Investors Service.
The student loan-backed se-
curities market has yet to suf-
fer noticeable effects of a global
credit squeeze that was triggered
this summer by a mortgage melt-
down of borrowers with risky credit.
“Once the economy starts to
slow, you’re going to see a large
increase of these people in bank-
ruptcy court,” said Robert Manning,
a professor at Rochester Institute of
Technology who has written about
college students and credit cards.
A 2005 change to bankruptcy
years,” Barry Goulding, a Sallie Mae
official, told Congress last spring.
New regulations could dry up
access to education financing, he
and other industry executives argue.
Some experts are skeptical, predicting
waves of student loan delinquencies
and defaults on what is outstanding.
“Should private student loans
suffer the same sort of failure as
(subprime) mortgages, as students
graduate or drop out and find
themselves unable to pay, we will
do serious damage not only to the
lives of many students but also to
the economic and social fabric of
our country that depends on col-
lege graduates for its strength,”
said Luke Swarthout at the U.S.
Public Interest Research Group.
October 17, 2007
Technology Widens Rich-Poor Gap
Philip Emeagwali
Guest Columnist
Oil has made us billions and
fuelled our economic stability, but
oil has also become the bane of
our existence. For some, it is a
curse that has caused poverty
and corruption, but for others it
is an essential source of untold
wealth and power. But as the gap
between rich and poor countries
continues to expand, it is clear
that intellectual capital and tech-
nology rule the world, and that
natural resources such as oil, gold,
and diamonds are no longer the
primary determinants of wealth.
Surprisingly, nations with few
natural resources demonstrate
greater economic growth rates
than OPEC countries. Japan’s
economic growth, driven by tech-
nological superiority, outpaces
that of Saudi Arabia; South Korea
is growing faster than oil-rich Ni-
geria; and Taiwan’s economy has
moved well beyond that of oil-rich
Venezuela. The United States and
Norway are also rich in oil, yet their
staggering economic
growth comes from Excerpted from a keynote speech delivered by Philip
intellectual capital. Emeagwali in Tucson, Arizona on September 29, 2007. block, the Unit-
In reality, it is not
The entire transcript is posted at emeagwali.com. ed States and
money but intellec-
tual capital that drives
Nigerian-born Philip Emeagwali won the 1989 Gordon Bell
prosperity. More im- Prize, the Nobel Prize of supercomputing. He has been ex- field has been
portant, perhaps, is tolled as “one of the great minds of the Information Age” and e x c h a n g e d
the reality that pov- as “the Bill Gates of Africa” by former US president Bill Clinton. f o r a b o w l
erty is driven and sus-
tained by a lack of
intellectual capital. The intimate
relationship between intellectual
capital and economic growth is
as old as humanity itself, and is
well illustrated by this parable to control technology and collect
from ancient Babylon (modern-day
Student Loans
Weigh on Mines
Melinda Bartel
Staff Writer
Approximately 2,100 of the
undergraduate and graduate stu-
dents at Mines have student loans.
The amounts of these loans vary
significantly for each individual,
but the average student accu-
mulates an estimated total debt
of $17,500 before graduation.
Any student wishing to take
out a federal loan must first fill out
the Free Application for Federal
Student Aid (FAFSA). After that,
there are several different types
of loans available for students at
Mines. The most popular student
loan is the Federal Stafford Loan.
There are two types, subsidized
and unsubsidized. The subsidized
loan is awarded entirely based on
need, and there is no interest while
the students are in school because
the federal government pays it.
On the other hand, an unsub-
sidized loan is not need-based,
and the student is responsible
for the interest. During school
(and the grace period), the inter-
est rate for the Federal Stafford
loan is 6.54%. During repayment,
however, the rate increases to
7.22%. (These Interest Rates were
effective on July 1 of this year and
Features Page 3
Iraq). A man asked his children: nations. For instance, Nigeria pays contrast, Bill Gates earns $500 global empire without a physical
“If you had a choice between a 40-percent “royalty” tax on its every second. By controlling tech- presence in any of its “colonies.”
the clay of wisdom or a bag of petroleum revenues to foreign oil nology and taxing computer users, The sole remaining superpower
gold, which would you choose?” companies that are ripping out its Gates has become wealthier than is at the forefront of every major
“The bag of gold, the bag of family jewels — the huge store of each of the 70 poorest nations on technological advancement, which
gold” the naïve children cried, wealth in its oilfields. These oilfields earth and using his financial might it has used to become deeply
not realizing that wisdom had started forming when prehistoric, has conquered more territory than embedded in three-quarters of the
the potential to earn them many dog-sized humans — our common Genghis Khan, Julius Caesar and globe. The US has accomplished a
more bags of gold in the future. ancestor with the apes — walked Alexander the Great combined. virtual economic colonization man-
Seven thousand years later, African grasslands on four legs. While Bill Gates is the new ifesting its presence throughout
Iraq — the cradle of civilization — It’s a shocking reality, but the millennium’s Prince of Technol- the globe by harnessing the power
has its own private bag of gold as it
deep oil reserves laid down by ogy, he is by no of technology
sits perched atop the world’s thirdMother Nature millions of years means the first and capitaliz-
largest oil reserves. Meanwhile, ago and nurtured through the to have taken
“The United States has em- ing on its clay
Israel, tucked away in millennia in on the huge po- braced its technological su- o f w i s d o m .
the hostile terrain of Africa have tential offered Africa’s in-
a barren desert, has been whittled by the realm of premacy, both offensively ability to real-
the clay of wisdom away within technology. The ize its potential
— the weightless decades. And, Romans used and defensively, to build its and embrace
wealth of intellec- for the dubi- roads and mili- technology
tual capital embod- ous privilege tary technology own global empire without has left it at
the mercy of
COURTESY PHILIP EMEAGWALI
ied in the collective of surrender- to expand their
mind of its people. ing its natural empi re. And, a physical presence in any the West. The
The striking eco- resources for- for centuries, time has come
nomic gap that per- ever, Nigeria is Britain ruled a of its ‘colonies.’” for Africa to
sists between rich required to pay quarter of the seize the day
and poor nations has half its petro- Earth due to its unparalleled ability and resist the efforts of America
increased sevenfold leum revenue to command maritime technology and others to leave their imprint
over the past cen- in the form of and conquer the Seven Seas. and plunder its natural resources.
tury to what is now “royalties” to Britain undoubtedly established Numerous examples through-
the rich kids itself as the world’s first superpow- out history support the idea that
on the global er through its rapid and ruthless technology can be used as a tool
colonial expansion program. The of oppression. And there’s little
doubt that America’s technological
British raised the Union Jack over
t h e N e t h e r- Canada and Australia, India and advancement has allowed it to ex-
ploit natural resources around the
lands. That oil- Hong Kong, Egypt and Kenya, and
countless other countries — even world. This is particularly evident in
the United States. The Union Jack Africa, where the US is exploiting
cast its shadow in every global oilfields beneath the pristine rain-
of porridge, time zone, giving rise to the saying, forest — and being rewarded with
and the black “The sun never sets on the Brit- a 40-percent tax at the expense
an all-time high. The accumula- gold that should serve the un- ish Empire,” a fact that was cold of the African people. This lends
tion of intellectual capital by rich derserved in Nigeria is helping comfort to the colonized nations. credence to history’s assertion
nations has helped broaden this wealthy Westerners get wealthier. In the same way, the United that those who control technology
gap because it has enabled them Today, half the world’s popula- States has embraced its techno- oppress those who do not, even-
tion — three billion people — live logical supremacy, both offensively tually enslaving them and, finally,
hidden taxes from less affluent on an average of $500 a year. In and defensively, to build its own wielding power around the globe.
will remain until June 30, 2008).
Gb`amHpel
P^e\hf^'
Another popular loan is the
Parent Loan for Undergraduate
Students (PLUS). It is a non-need
loan, but it is credit-based, which
means that the parent must pass
a credit check before the loan is
granted. The Federal PLUS loan
interest rate is currently 8.02%. E:M>GB@AMANG@>K8
Finally, select students qual-
ify for the Perkins Loan, which <hf^aZg`pbmanl'
is a need-based award. These
funds are limited, and given on P^Ík^hi^gngmbe+Zf
a first come, first serve basis.
In addition to federal loans,
students also have the option of
taking out a private loan. This does
not require filling out the FAFSA.
Private loans (also called optional
loans) are credit-based and often
require a co-signer. This is less
popular among students because
the interest rates are usually sig-
nificantly higher. However, the ben-
efit is that they have higher annual
loan limits. A private loan can be
a good choice for a student who
needs to borrow larger amounts
of money for the school year.
CSM recommends lending from LAKEWOOD WHEATRIDGE
ASAP/Union Bank and Trust Com-
pany, CitiBank, and College Invest. 145 Union Boulevard 3250 Youngfield
For more information on taking out a 2nd and Union Behind Applejack’s Liquor
loan at Mines, visit: http://www.finaid. 303.988.5990 303.237.7414
mines.edu/CO_loan_advisor.html.
Page 4
Features October 17, 2007

Geek...Ryan Goodwin,
Week Junior: Electrical
of
the

Satira Tajdin-Labib
Staff Writer
[Oredigger] What makes you
a geek?
[Goodwin] Well, I want to be an
electrical engineer and I’m president
of the Linux Users Group. I also
have four to five computers running
in my house right now.
When did you first realize you
were a geek?
Ninth grade. I went to this high
school where you got “free time” to
develop time management skills.
Every single day I would spend it in
the computer lab.
Enlighten us with a geeky
joke.
There was this Mines guy riding
his bike down the road when an-
other Mines student stopped him.
He asked the guy on the bike, “That
bike is really nice, where did you get
it?” The guy on the bike said, “Well,
actually I was just walking down
the street and this woman rode
by on her bike. She then stopped,
threw down the bike, stripped off
her clothes, and shouted, “Take
whatever you want! Just leave me
alone!”” He continued, “So I took
the bike.” The other Mines student
looked puzzled then said, “Well, that
probably was a good choice, her
clothes wouldn’t have fit you.”
XBOX or Playstation?
Definitely XBOX, all the PS2
games are boring. They all look pretty
on the outside, but they are all boring.
Plus, XBOX has Halo.
Were you offended when you
found out you were nominated to
be Geek of the Week?
No, I thought it was funny. I mean
we are in the big dork factory of
Colorado School of Mines, we aren’t
all actually well-adjusted and normal
citizens, we are all geeks.
I hope you don’t get beat up
for that.
No way, they’d have to catch
me first.
If you could have any super
power, what would it be?
Actually, everything seems lame
and every power has its drawbacks.
If you could read people’s minds,
you could see how much they hated
you. If you were superfast then you
would age superfast too. If you could
fly you’d have to dodge airplanes and
worry about going too high and suf-
focating. I can’t think of power that
isn’t negative. Well, there’s shape-
shifting, but wait, you might get stuck
in some other form and that would
really suck.
How about shooting fire?
No, everyone would hate you
for burning everything up and you’d
constantly get sued for committing
arson.
And being invisible?
Yeah! That could be good.
What do you do outside of
school?
I fix people’s computers and I ride follow the same people to bars and
skateboards. And then there are girls, talk more about programming.
but that doesn’t happen, so…
What is the geekiest thing
you’ve done?
I was selected by Apple for the
Student Development Program,
which a few hundred kids in America
are selected for every year. They paid
for me to go to the World Wide De-
velopment Conference in San Fran-
MEAVE HAMM / OREDIGGER
An Apple a Day: Ryan Goodwin attended the Student
Development Program during the World Wide Devel-
opment Conference, which was hosted by Apple, Inc.
cisco. The whole day there you listen Steve Jobs, the guy that started
to nothing but people talking about Apple. He was just sitting in col-
programming. Then afterwards you lege and like, “I’m going to start
making computers.” And now he
makes more money than anyone
What is your favorite subject cares to.
at Mines? What do you plan on do-
Electrical stuff, like circuits be- ing after you graduate from
cause everything else is just so bor- Mines?
ing. Chemistry is boring. Humanity is I have no clue. I figure I’ll go
boring. Even the general engineering through a lot of jobs and find out
courses, like Thermo and Statics, are which ones of them I hate, and then
extremely boring. mark them off the list. Then go off
Who is your role model? to do something else.

Radiohead Across the Universe Review

Greg Smith in this case I will make an ex- The movie, however, is not all

The “In Rainbows” Staff Writer

Across the Universe opened
Revolution recently at the box office and has
had mixed reviews since. Famed
director Julie Taymore directs this
Tim Weilert musical of Beatles’ covers.
Staff Writer The movie is set in the Viet-
COURTESY WIKIPEDIA COMMONS
ception. The movie is filled with
Beatles classics such as Come
Together, All My Loving, I Want
To Hold Your Hand, Hey Jude,
and of course Strawberry Fields
Forever. It also has some more
obscure Beatles titles like I Just
Saw a Face, and I Am The Walrus.
good. It starts off rather slow and
if you forget that it is a musical at
times, the breaking-out into song
can seem odd and out of place. The
girl playing Lucy has a great voice
but seems to be the sore thumb
of the cast. It just doesn’t fit in.
This is a movie for people who

nam era and centers on Jude, a The best cover in the movie is love the Beatles, musicals, or both.
young man from Liverpool, who easily Let It Be. It literally brought I have seen it twice and the second
This week Radiohead made music history goes to America to find his fa- tears to my eyes. Young Timothy T. time I found myself waiting for the
with their newest album In Rainbows. In an ther. Yes, I do realize how lame Mitchum begins the song a cappel- end, an unusual occurrence when
age of declining record sales, album leaks and that sounds. The cast is full of la while sitting next to a burned out I watch a movie, even after mul-
music piracy, Radiohead decided to transcend characters from Beatles songs car at the Detroit riots. The scene tiple viewings. However, the movie
the entire industry by self releasing what may like Jude, Lucy, Sadie, even Pru- changes and the soulful Carol did make me think of the current
be the most anticipated album of the year. Just dence. Bono makes an appear- Woods sings the rest of the song situation and tension in the Middle
ten days after finishing the production process ance for a few songs as well. at a boy’s funeral. The gospel choir East compared to the way Vietnam
In Rainbows was released as a digital down- Generally speaking I am backing up Mrs. Woods was incred- was depicted in the movie. And for
load. The shocking aspect of the entire situa- not a huge fan of covers, but ible. I get chills just thinking about it. that, I applaud it. My rating: C+.
tion is that Radiohead allowed consumers to
name their own price for the album download.
An electronic mix of drums, Johnny Green-
wood’s guitar work and Thom Yorke’s soft vocals
open the album on “15 Step.” Paying special
attention to the layering of different sounds re-
minds the listener why Radiohead has become
so vastly popular. Not only are most of the songs
complex combinations of instrumental and vocal
work, but a certain sense of harmony is audible
as well. Thom Yorke, acknowledged as a revo-
lutionary lyricist, is not easily understood on the
record. The lyrical content is there, however it
is presented through Yorke’s high pitched and
occasionally indiscernible voice. This gives the
record its ambient sound and serves to empha-
size those songs which seem stripped down.
While In Rainbows has a definite experimen-
tal tone, the album itself reflects heavily upon
Radiohead’s earlier works. This is evidenced
by the songs “Nude” and “Reckoner” which
were both written during the late 1990’s and
sound similar to tracks from OK Computer.
The final song, “Videotape,” finishes the re-
cord on a tone that is a stark contrast to “15
Step.” Warm piano parts echoed by percus-
sion leave the listener with a sense of closure.
While self releasing an album is a gamble,
Radiohead appears to have done most every-
thing right. Their popularity can be linked to the
quality of their records, such as In Rainbows,
and consumer friendly approach to distribution.
In Rainbows is available as a digital down-
l o a d f r o m h t t p : / / w w w. i n r a i n b o w s . c o m .
October 17, 2007
Lifestyle Page 5

R
GE
D IG
RE
/O
M
H AM
VE
MEA
ANDY SUDERMAN
/ OREDIGGER

MEAVE HAMM / OREDIGGER

MEAVE HAMM / OREDIGGER

Meet Me on the Quad:
Students participated in ath-
letic field events on Friday
evening. Events included a
four-legged race and tug-
ANDY SUDERMAN
/ OREDIGGER

o-war.

Act Royal: Marvin the Miner: This familiar

face was present at most events Not Your Average
The Homecoming Queen and Beast
to greet enthusiastic Oredig- Powderpuff: Last
were announced and crowned at
gers. Friday’s events in-
the halftime show during the football
cluded a Powder-
game. This year’s winners? Kurtis
puff game.
Griess and Erin Neil.

76 Trombones: The CSM band marched

in the Homecoming Parade. The band
also played during the Homecoming
halftime and marched “The Splitting of
the Atom.” The CSM band is renowned
for its unique uniform: the red plaid shirt,
MEAVE HAMM / OREDIGGER

jeans, and hardhat of a true Oredigger.

Page 6
Abuses of Microsoft Letters to the Editor
Vista Marks Decline in Software
Steven Bolger
Staff Writer
I cannot understand how a
multi-billion dollar corporation
termed an “abusive monopoly”
by the U.S. District Court and
ordered to separate into two
independent units can con-
tinue to own 96.97%, accord-
ing to Softpedia’s website, of
the international operating sys-
tem (OS) market. The Microsoft
Corporation is founded on the
practice of creating a global
dependence on its products
while simultaneously imposing
greater restrictions on their use.
Windows Vista, the succes-
sor to the 2001 release of Win-
dows XP, illustrates this proce-
dure developed and followed
by Microsoft. As a “licensee”
of Windows 98, Windows XP,
and Windows Vista, I have wit-
nessed the decline that is Mi-
crosoft software development.
The largest problem with Win-
dows Vista is that it is designed
to restrict what the user can do
with it. Vista enforces new forms
of “Digital Rights Management”
that control which features,
programs, and files of your soft-
ware and your computer that
you can use at any time. DRM
is of course not an optional
component of Vista. You must
pay Bill Gates money to ensure
that you do not perform any
operations on your computer he
does not want you to. In addi-
tion, the process of monitoring
your actions requires computing
power and memory that cause
your computer to run slower.
While not a new feature of
the Windows Vista OS, a user
does not own the software he
purchases. Under the terms of
a verbose agreement, Microsoft
leases, but does not sell, Vista
to the user. I, like almost every
Vista “lessee,” have not read
the licensing agreement, nor
do I know the specifics of my
rights to operate the software.
Knowing Microsoft, however, I
am sure that the licensing agree-
ments of the various versions of
Vista are somehow more restric-
tive than those of Windows XP.
Windows, on the other hand,
claims that these new mea-
sures were developed to in-
crease your computer’s secu-
rity. In other words, the user
gives up his freedom so that
Microsoft can protect his com-
puter from spyware, hackers,
viruses, and other virtual threats.
Another new device to help
enforce this policy is the new
“Administrator permissions are
recommended for running …”
windows. These little irritations
pop up every time the user tries
to run any program that is not
a part of the original Microsoft
software package. These win-
dows attempt to warn the user
that the following operation could
cause security problems. While
maybe pure in intention, these
pop-ups lose meaning after
their hundredth or so appear-
ance in one day. The message
even appears when I try to run
Microsoft Visual C++ Express,
a registered Microsoft product.
New security measures such
as these popup messages at-
tempt to assure the user of a
phony heightened level of secu-
rity. Obviously popup messages
are not going to provide any
protection against spyware or
viruses. The only measures that
could seriously increase security
are anti-spyware software, fire-
walls, phishing filters, and antivi-
rus software. The goal of these
new security measures is to force
the user to accept responsibility
for his own security while provid-
ing Microsoft with a scapegoat.
Windows Vista also has small
functionality problems charac-
teristic of not just a mediocre
corporation, but a mediocre op-
erating system. Vista is reported
to be incompatible with hardware
designed for older operating
systems. It performs file opera-
tion slowly than other competing
operating systems, and requires
m o re d e m a n d i n g h a rd w a re
specification to take advantage
of some of its new features.
When the novelty of the
new graphical user interface
Windows Aero wears off, the
user is left with an operating
system that restricts access to
many of its functions, requires
the user to take responsibility for
security, has minor functionality
problems, and cannot be owned
by the user. The root of all of
these problems is a project that
began on April 4, 1975 by two
business partners, Bill Gates and
Paul Allen, that has since mo-
nopolized the world of software.
Let us all take an active role in
preventing Microsoft from gaining
world domination computer by
computer like they almost did
in 2001. Fool the world once,
shame on Microsoft. Fool the
world twice, shame on the world.
Free software such as Linux and
GNU do not require that you
consent to a confining licensing
agreement. If you want freedom
from the abuses of Microsoft, Li-
nux is the answer. It is extremely
nerdy and hard to use, but is
one step toward ending the reign
of the Microsoft Corporation.
Dear Editor,
In regards to Greg Smith’s “Justice at
Circuit City” article, I think Mr. Smith should
consider factors that he did not mention in his
article if he has not already. I would first ask Mr.
Smith if he has ever worked in a large electron-
ics retail chain such as the one he mentions,
Circuit City. If he has, I would be rather surprised
as he should understand that shoplifting rates
for high demand consumer software and elec-
tronics can spiral out of control if these stores
do not implement measures to prevent theft.
  Are some of these measures sometimes a little
invasive? Perhaps. Yet I find it hard to agree that
asking to check a customers bag contents with
their receipt is the intense invasion of privacy
portrayed by Mr. Smith’s article. It’s unfortunate,
but these days, thieves come from all ages,
races, and gender; personally, I hardly think
that a bag check (which is a rather common
procedure) here and there will really detract from
my privacy in a way such that I would feel upset.
Perhaps Mr. Righi decided to try and
make a point or something along those lines.  simply comply because they are scared into
Yet, in the bigger picture, what Mr. Righi
failed to realize is that the retail store has the
right to request to see his bag and receipt.  of the current events, but we can easily see that
As long as the store employee did not initi-
ate contact with Mr. Righi and his car, the
employee was simply doing his job—what
you may not know is that if Mr. Righi indeed
pushed the employee to get past him, that
employee then has the right to return con-
tact.  Also, in creating a scene, Mr. Righi was
not “fighting the system” or even “fight-
ing the (proverbial) man.”  He was simply
fighting a policy—a policy that most major
retailers probably have and is instituted to
c o m b a t t h e f t , n o t i n v a d e p r i v a c y.
However, in the bigger picture, I don’t
disagree with Mr. Smith’s views; I simply do
not agree on the extremes to which he believes
them. Indeed, I enjoy my right to privacy, perhaps
more so than most. Yet, using an analogy about
a retail store’s anti-theft procedures to say that
we have been passively programmed to think
a certain way our entire lives is a stretch.  Any
given society you live in will have certain rules
to abide by, mores, and customs.  By living in
any society you agree to all of those things? You
may call it programming or whatever you like,
but it will not change the fact that so long as you
abide by our countries’ laws, you too are acting
like the very same people you are calling sheep.
    I believe you have taken our venerable
Benjamin Franklin’s words and twisted them.  ments; the opportunity to reach the same
Indeed, we as citizens should be ever vigilant
of a government that seeks to take away
It has already been almost two months
that I have been detained here at Mines
and my four year sentence just started.
Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday,
Warden Eberhart teaches us chemistry.
On Mondays the prisoners see the shrink
in the CSM 101 class, and every day
people are poisoned in the Slate. There
are some people who occasionally try to
escape and bring back Burger King to the
rest of the inmates, but frequently money
becomes an issue. To be quite honest
with you, I would rather be an actual
inmate in a prison, when your reward for
good behavior is not an extra three years
at graduate school. Where you have a
TV in your cell. Where your roommate is
somebody who has already been con-
victed, not someone who’s on the run.
our freedoms.  I certainly don’t agree with many
of the privacy infringing laws that were passed in
more recent history, and some of the implications
of said laws being passed can be scary. However,
assuming that all your fellow students will watch
football instead of being concerned about current
events is a folly.  I’m a practical person; I may
think that confiscating nail clippers from airline
passengers is excessive, but if they can stop a
person from bringing a bomb on board, it turns
the airline security issue into a gray area for me
and I find it hard to believe that x-ray machines at
airports will suddenly lead to RFID chips planted in
our necks and barcodes tattooed onto our arms.
What you fail to see about revolution
is that enough of the population has to be
completely outraged at the government to
do something drastic about it.  We definitely
have not reached that point yet. I don’t
like our current leaders, and I don’t like the
direction that our country has taken with
n a t i o n a l s e c u r i t y a n d f o re i g n p o l i c i e s .  that?” In my opinion Ricky Walker, the author, is
Though, assuming that everyone out there will
doing so is also a folly. Not every American may
be well informed, or may even care about some
we’re not quite at the revolutionary conditions of
an Orwellian novel nor a similarly themed movie.
While I think Mr. Smith has some good
points, I think he missed many others and
missed the mark while trying to compare a
retail store incident with national issues.
The very broad scope of everything he men-
tioned hurts the article as he touches on many
controversial issues that are each deserving
of an entire article of their own, and not, in my
opinion, well represented by a single editorial.
Regards,
Jeff Park
Dear Editor,
This letter is in response to the editorial “50
Years Since Little Rock Nine” in Volume 88, Issue
5 of The Oredigger and a few other editorials
from The Oredigger where applicable. Let us
consider for a second the appearance of the
protests for The Little Rock Nine. Do the rotten
vegetables being thrown and the verbal taunts
really harm? My opinion is that they do not have
lasting effects. The prejudice behind those pro-
tests was what was really harmful. What about
the mindset that Black people do not deserve the
same opportunity? What about the opportunity
to be respected for their work and accomplish-
levels of success; the basic opportunity to be
treated equally? So no, when I am prejudiced or
Nevertheless, what really gets to me is
that if you stretch your arms out you can
touch your roommate and the window at
the same time, and he just came in the
door. Now don’t get me wrong, I do think
my roommate is a future convict. The fact
that random Mrs. Degrees (girls who only
go to Mines to marry the salary of the
person who graduates) come into our
room doesn’t help either. My roommate
started to think of himself as a ladies-
man, although I don’t know if you could
consider those girls walking into our room
as really girls at all. Now my roommate’s
self-esteem has skyrocketed to the point
where he starts walking up to the third
floor only to realize that it is locked. Won-
der why! To be perfectly honest I don’t
agree with that. If we can have shady
October 17, 2007
discriminated against, it does not look like what
happened to the Little Rock Nine. Although,
I was not aware that appearance was the
definition of any of the following: discrimina-
tion, prejudice or racism. Discrimination is
discrimination and whether it was 50 years ago
or it was just yesterday, the definition hasn’t
changed to include the appearance of the situ-
ation. The damage it causes has not changed
either. The Oredigger has printed editorials that
have excused prejudice, promoted ignorance
of other individuals, and defended itself for
doing so. While you have the basic right to say
whatever you want and I respect that, I request
that you use better judgment in doing so. The
following statements exhibit poor judgment.
“Society has been cured of racial discrimination
against African Americans…If you are African
American, and you feel that you have been dis-
criminated against somehow, take a look at the
pictures of the Little Rock Nine. Did it look like
saying that racial discrimination today does not
count as discrimination because of its subtle
(or lack of) physical appearance. As an outsider
looking in, it feels really good to say that racial
discrimination does not exist. Although, as a
Black student at this school I disagree and so
did every other Black student who I talked to
about the article (as well as many non-Black
students). Walker claims that being treated “un-
justly” does not mean you were discriminated
against but that you were “merely a victim of
one of society’s many jerks.” Whether it was
a jerk or the most outstanding citizen, if in
the process of treating you unjustly they use
discrimination, it is still discrimination. Although
the statements by Walker are “feel-good” in na-
ture, they are very damaging. The statements
are damaging in the sense that they claim
that what is considered discrimination today
is acceptable just because it is not blatant or
is reducible to the “jerks” of society. I can only
hope that there are not students at Mines who
read Walker’s editorial and thought that their
own prejudice towards Blacks (or any group for
that matter) is acceptable just because it does
not look like prejudice 50 years ago. “50 Years
Since Little Rock Nine” is just one article (out of
a many this year) that excuses racism, preju-
dice and discrimination as well as promotes
ignorance of other individuals. While the staff of
The Oredigger has the “right” to produce such
articles and statements, such rights come with
responsibility. Please respect that responsibility,
especially when the staff of The Oredigger finds
itself on the outside looking in.
-Anonymous
creatures come down to our dorm room
to annoy the hell out of us, then by God
we should be able to return the favor. This
is getting ridiculous. After my roommates
failed attempt at creeping out the rest of
the girls in our building, he decided to go
sit in a common area to find companion-
ship, which he calls “getting some.” Finally
he is successful. He comes back to the
dorm room bragging about the fact that
he got some form of a girl named Ural,
who has an exceptionally deep voice and
can bench twice my roommate’s weight,
and that’s including his books. Needless
to say I’m not impressed. I guess what I’m
trying to say is can we please get some
locks on our hallways to keep these Mrs.
Degrees out so that this whole thing won’t
get started in the first place. Thank you.
October 17, 2007
Sports Page 7

Homecoming Win

ANDY SUDERMAN / OREDIGGER

Mason Williams
Staff Writer
The lively crowd at Satur-
day’s homecoming football
game cheered the Colorado
School of Mines on to a
38-21 victory against
Western New Mex-
i c o U n i v e r s i t y.
The Oredig-
gers came out
with a very
Drew Ferren ran back a pickoff for
a touchdown near the end of the
1st and sealed the deal, putting the
game out of reach for the Mustangs.
WMNU scored on the opening
drive of the second half, but CSM
quickly answered when J.T. Baum
scored with a 13 yard run and Derek
Pessek connected with Corry Huck
in his second touchdown pass of
the day to make the score 38-14.
Mines now holds a record of 4

G M
IG AM
ER
s t ro n g f i r s t wins and 3 losses overall. Come

ED H
R VE
half, out- cheer on CSM in their next game

/ O EA
M
scoring as they take on Fort Lewis Col-
WNMU 24-7. lege in Durango on October 20.

Victory: CSM Orediggers win their Oct. 13 Homecoming game against the Western New Mexico State Mustangs.
Shall We Pregame?
Matthew Pusard to have too many names in their

Rockies Win the Pennant

Staff Writer booth. They have a great ringleader in
Bob Costas, and Chris Collinsworth
The NFL tends to be 90% build- has been in the pregame business
up and 10% game. The games are for many years, but the rest of the

Undefeated in Playoffs, Heading to World Series
Matthew Pusard
Staff Writer
On August 11th, 1951, the
New York Giants trailed their
rivals the Brooklyn Dodgers by
13.5 games in the standings. [1]
In baseball standards, a 13.5 lead
is quite formidable and near insur-
mountable, but a Giants loss that
day became their last in a while.
They proceeded to reel off a 16
game winning streak to close out
August and finished the season
winning 37 of 44 to force a 3
game tiebreaker with the Dodgers.
The teams split the first 2
games of that tiebreaker to set
up one of the most
dramatic scenes in “The Rockies went from a non-factor to who started a series de-
baseball history. The
third and final game National League World Series represen- the 5th inning with a 2 out
started off as a pitchers’
tatives in one short month.”
duel, but the Dodg-
ers took command in
the 8th inning with 3 runs.
Two outs later, the Giants
faced elimination despite a his- won every single game in the
toric comeback. But then the
hits came in. Two singles and
a double made the score 4-2
and brought up the formidable which makes this run all the more
Bobby Thomson. With a 1-1
count, Thomson made a hit that
soared into the left field stands.
The voice of the Giants,
Russ Hodges, broke into a call
that echoed throughout the
ages, yelling “The Giants win
the pennant! The Giants win
the pennant!” as one of the
greatest baseball streaks ever
ended with a walk off homerun.
Now, this moment, widely
regarded as one of the great-
est in the 120+ year history of ered, but the scores are deceiv-
baseball, has company. The
2007 baseball season has giv-
en way to a most unlikely and
dramatic Cinderella story. The
Rockies were 4.5 games out of
the playoffs as of September through their first 6 playoff games
15th, roughly the same gap the
Giants faced when games left
in the season are considered. 1969. This was a continuation
The Rockies, however, were in
fourth place in the race at the time
while the Giants were in second.
Just like the Giants too, the Rock-
ies reeled off an unlikely winning
streak of 11 games, a franchise
record, to keep themselves in
consideration. The team plowed
through the rest of the regular
season to force a tiebreaker which
also ended on the last possible
play, this time in extra innings.
But the two stories start to
diverge from there. In 1951, the
playoffs consisted of a maximum
of seven games, called the World
Series. For the Rockies to make the
World Series, they would have to
defeat 2 separate teams to earn the
right. The Rockies did just that and
did it in near unprecedented fashion. single player has been to this team.
The Colorado Rockies swept
their first round opponents, the
Philadelphia Phillies, in 3 games
and then proceeded to take out
the Arizona Diamondbacks in a
4 game sweep. Only one other
time has a team won seven in a
row in the playoffs; in 1976, the
Cincinnati Reds, nicknamed the
Big Red Machine and coming off
of a World Series win in 1975,
playoffs to repeat as champions.
The Rockies, however, are not
an established team like the Reds,
awe-inspiring. The Rockies went
from a non-factor to National a team. Nevertheless, Holliday’s
League World Series representa- contributions in the NLCS (2 HRs,
tives in one short month. Manager
Clint Hurdle repeatedly has ex-
pressed that his team was “playing
in the losers’ bracket for a long right now without the 8 other play-
time.” This team from the loser’s
bracket currently has won 21 out
of their last 22 games and has lost
a single game in a month’s time.
The Diamondbacks series was
close when the scores are consid-
ing. The Rockies trailed for 2 total in the American League Champi-
innings in the series and domi-
nated with their hardnosed pitching
and spectacular defensive plays.
The Rockies’ pitching staff went leading the series 2 games to 1.
with the 7th lowest cumulative
ERA (1.77) in the playoffs since
from the regular season where they has an unprecedented 8 games
amassed the lowest ERA in the ma-
jor leagues after the All Star break. gives time for the Rockies to plan
Their defense also posted the
best fielding percentage in base-
ball history in the regular sea-
son. Diamondbacks outfielder
Eric Byrnes contested that his
team had outplayed the Rock-
ies in the first 2 games of the
series, but those claims were
never backed up as the Rockies
mostly played on Sundays and Mon-
days, but analysts are given hours
upon hours of material to talk about
crew around them seems to be a
circus. They have so many people
around, but never have them all
cruised through their last 2 games.
throughout the following week. How- on-screen at the same time. It just
Left Fielder Matt Holliday is on
ever, not everyone has the time to seems disjointed. Potential Hall of
the short list for NL MVP for the
scour ESPN and various sports web- Fame RBs Jerome Bettis and Tiki
regular season, but in retrospect,
sites for information on their favorite Barber are new to the game, but
he might not be the strongest
teams or fantasy football players. essentially seem to fill the same role.
candidate. That is not a knock
That’s why a good pregame show Keith Olbermann, a former anchor
on his play, but rather a comple-
and halftime show is essential for the on SportsCenter from the 90’s, is an
ment on how important every
casual viewers’ football experience. added bonus but seems underused.
The men who man the pregame He has a bit every week talking about
The Rockies seem to win in
shows have to be insightful, eloquent, the worst person in the NFL, but it’s
every possible way and each player
and concise to be able to relay their quite short and seems to be a promo
has made his contribution whether
news to the average football fan in an for his show on MSNBC. Neverthe-
it is C Yorvit Torrealba who hit the
hour’s time. Each show has its own less, he does a good job. Olber-
game winning home run in Game 3
flavor and here is the breakdown: mann’s liberal views do seem to rub
of the NLCS or SS Troy Tulowitzki
FOX NFL Sunday a few of the analysts wrong though.
who made several defensive plays
This show appears to be the most The saving graces of the show are
to keep runners off the bases.
consistent of the bunch. Howie Long the best announcers in the game:
This also extends to rookie
and Hall of Fame QB Terry Bradshaw John Madden and Al Michaels. They
pinch hitter Seth Smith
have been there since 1994 and always have a segment or two during
Jimmie Johnson has been there off halftime. Madden is a virtual treasure
ciding rally in Game 4 in
and on since then. They provide en- trove of football knowledge, and while
tertainment with Bradshaw’s antics, his pairing with Pat Summerall was
double to give the Rockies
but they obviously exude football better, this team is a close second.
the lead for good. Even
knowledge since they all played Monday Night
CF Willy Taveras, who
or coached football at one point in Countdown (ESPN)
just came back from a quadriceps
time. They lost a step when host This program has a bit of an in-
strain, made a game saving div-
James Brown left for CBS, since teresting twist to it as ESPN, the self
ing catch and walked to bring
he had great chemistry with the proclaimed leader in sporting news,
home the winning run in Game 2.
rest of the crew, but this show still dedicates the entire afternoon to the
The Rockies have shown that
seems to be the best of the bunch. Monday night game. It starts off with
no single player is more important
They should bring back Joe Buck Pardon the Interruption, their most
than any other. They appear to
as a full time host considering the popular and arguably best sports
embody concept of playing as
enormity of his sporting knowledge, analysis show. Tony Kornheiser, one
but is still around as a commentator of the commentators on MNF, and
along with Hall of Fame QB Troy Michael Wilbon provide their insight
4 RBI, .333 BA) earned him the
Aikman. This show is the standard on the upcoming game, often from
honor of NLCS MVP, but the Rock-
the rest should try to live up to. the stadium that the game is about
ies would not be where they are
NFL Today (CBS) to be played in. This adds a special
NFL Today is up-and-coming in emphasis to the game as do Korn-
ers that take the field plus several
the pregame world. The show has heiser’s ridiculously colored sports
on the bench and in the bullpen.
been adding talented pieces for the jackets. Then, SportsCenter follows
Now, the Rockies play the
past few years. Dan Marino and with their take on the game. This
waiting game as they wait for their
former Bronco Shannon Sharpe leads up to the pregame show with
opponents in the World Series to
give a great one-two punch in terms ESPN gurus such as Chris Berman
be decided. The Boston Red Sox
of former players, since both guys (the Swami), former Bronco great
and Cleveland Indians are playing
may be Top-5 all time at QB and TE Tom Jackson (creator of the popular
respectively. Sharpe is tailor-made Jacked Up! segments featuring big
onship Series currently, but it ap-
for this position, considering how hits from the week), Bill Parcels,
pears as if it will take much longer
much he loves to talk. He adds some Keyshawn Johnson, Emmitt Smith,
to finish. The Indians are currently
spice to the show with his humorous Steve Young, and Trey Wingo. This
insights on current situations. Marino, cast is crowded as well, but it seems
The Rockies will have more
despite his large pool of football to work better than on NBC. Finally,
than enough time to prepare for
experience, seems a bit bland. NFL the lead up to the actual Monday
the World Series and get their
Today also has a few veteran voices night spectacular is complete. ESPN
pitchers rested because the team
in the show in Boomer Esiason and has resources up the wazoo to ex-
the aforementioned James Brown ploit for its show, but they seem to
off before their next game. This
to guide the show as well as a overhype the games. ESPN shows
newcomer, Bill Cowher. Cowher weekly commercials to promote
out their next move so they can do
may be able to lay claim as one of each individual game and these guys,
what the 1951 Giants could not.
history’s best coaches and as such Berman especially, just jump right
The Giants lost the 1951 World
is a tremendous asset to the show. on the hype train. MNF is a football
Series to the New York Yankees
They aren’t as fluid as the show on institution from the 70’s and needs
in 6 games. The Rockies obvi-
FOX, but they certainly have a wealth no introduction. It sells itself as bonus
ously hope to avoid this fate and
of talent to compete with them. football to help start off the week on
recent history seems to be on
Football Night in the right foot and any self-respecting
their side since the team has
America (NBC) sports fan knows about it, even after
seemingly forgotten how to lose.
Sunday Night Football appears its migration from ABC to ESPN.
Page 8
Satire October 17, 2007

Denver Overrun by BABIES!!! Pamela Anderson

Marriage Annulled
Terrorist Baby: A baby shot its ice/Rove ray at innocent tourists during Great American Beer Festival.
Tim Weilert
The Infant Whisperer
In December, 2006 Denver
was inundated with one of the
largest blizzards in recent years.
Roads, businesses, and airports
were all closed for days. Everyone
in the city was stuck at home with
their significant others. Fast forward stroyed. For now, Golden appears
to September 2007, nine months
later; hospitals have reported record tion from the Table Mountains. Jef-
numbers of superhuman births. The
babies, thought to have unnatural
tolerance for cold and pain, ap-
pear to be
developing “The only known cure for the fortunately
u n n a t u r a l infants affected by the “Ice this action
“ice ray”
powers. Not Children Epidemic,” appears to too late since
only are the
children im- be lead based paint.”
pervious to
harm, but they also attack peo-
TIM WEILERT / OREDIGGER, POLITICAL IMAGES COURTESY WIKIMEDIA COMMONS
region of Denver has been taken
by the “baby army” and is expand-
ing outwards. News of attacks
have been
b l o c k e d “...government interventions may damaging ef-
until now,
b e c a u s e have doomed the mile high city.” rays. Despite
all news
outlets in the metro area were de-
to be a safe haven due to protec-
ferson County officials are in talks intentions were lost in translation.
with CSM on the idea of building
a fortress on the site of the Hall of containing lead depleted the na-
Justice. Un- tion’s supply of what may cure the
may come
analysts ex- ers due to the widespread use of
pect the
baby boom
to continue through November.
Music Choices Disrupt Bliss
Matthew Pusard
Celebrity Gossip Gossiper
The marriage between Pamela
Anderson and her new beau Rick
Salomon ended abruptly Sunday
after it was annulled. The couple
was married in Las Vegas on Oc-
tober 6th at The Mirage in a small
ceremony. Reportedly, the marriage
arose so Anderson could pass
some time between appearances
in Hans Klok’s magic shows at the
Planet Hollywood Hotel & Casino, a
performance she makes twice daily.
The two had apparently met ear- couple proceeded to retreat into
lier in the day and became instantly the casino portion of the Mirage
attracted to one another. They for the reception. Amongst the
instantly found great things in com- crowd and various slot machines
mon- like Hepatitis C. The two are
also veterans of widely distributed to their wedding song, “I Hate Ev-
celebrity pornography: An-
derson with Motley Crue
drummer Tommy Lee
and Salomon with
horizontally inclined
hotel heiress Paris
Hilton. “I’ve never
‘dated’ someone
so wholesome
Epidemic,” appears to be lead
before,” com-
based paint. Lead, though poten-
mented Salomon.
tially deadly, taken in small doses
Since the duo
may curb the
had only met
that day, they
fects of ice
ro u n d e d u p a
group of Vegas’s
all that, gov-
finest drunks
ernment interventions may have
and hobos to
doomed the mile high city. Chinese
be witnesses for
officials attempted to warn the
the proceedings.
U.S. government, however; their
Also, a last minute
playlist replaced
Large scale recalls of children’s toys
conventional
wedding music.
As Salomon COURTESY WIKIMEDIA COMMONS made by Salomon at “rec-
babies, bringing peace to Denver.
walked down
A similar baby boom occurred
the aisle, U2’s “I
during the late 1940’s. The children
Still Haven’t Found What I’m Look- an annulment, or, as she put it,
did not develop dangerous pow-
ing For” blared from the wedding
lead piping in residential housing
calliope. Shortly after, Anderson
came down the aisle wearing a
during that time. Instead, these
white wedding veil, a Hooters t-
children produced memorable his-
shirt, and neon orange short shorts
to the song, “It’s The End of the
World as We Know It” by REM.
Their priest for the night was Rever-
end Patrick Snow, DDS. Snow had
just received the certificate ordain-
ing him as a minister and authoriz-
ing him to practice dentistry in Ne-
vada in the mail earlier in the week.
Despite an inexperienced pastor
fumbling through the ceremony, Sa-
lomon and Anderson were officially
married a few scant minutes later
before they engaged in a passion-
ate embrace. The newly married
Anderson and Salomon danced
erything about You” by Three Days
Grace. This was followed up with
“Cold Hard Bitch” by Jet, “The
Lady is a Tramp” by Rodgers
and Hart, “Dumb Blonde”
by Dolly Parton, and the
obligatory chicken dance.
Never the less, things
turned ugly when “I Ran
(So Far Away)” by A Flock
of Seagulls played over
the casino sound sys-
tem. Anderson became
irate, yelling at Salomon
for being so insensitive.
Apparently, the song
irked her because of her
past “romantic” history
with various talentless 80s
rock stars. To paraphrase
comedian Jeffrey Ross,
Anderson was ‘loving’
her way to the middle.
Since no attempt was
onciliation” after the cer-
emony, Anderson sought
“another mulligan from God.”
Nevertheless, the marriage end-
ed up being above average in
length for a celebrity marriage.

ple and buildings at random. The only known cure for the torical events such as the 1960’s,
The entire lower downtown infants affected by the “Ice Children the Vietnam War, and Bill Clinton. Brittany: Dead
Mike Stone
Reasons to Date a Girl From Mines Reporter
She lost her career, she lost her
marriage, she lost her sanity, she
10) They’ll drink you under the Fluids table lost her sobriety, and she lost her
9) Proximity kids. Yesterday, Brittany Spears lost
her life when she drove her car off a
8) You don’t have to worry about her classmates stealing her cliff, landing in a tumble of flames.
away Sharks ate her body, leaving no
remnants. Shortly thereafter, a nu-
7) Physics homework is a thing of the past thanks to GF3000 clear bomb went off and her name
6) If you push, they push back... harder was erased from the record books.
5) She knows her curves I don’t think she’s coming back.
It is over. No more on that subject.
4) They’re one of the guys There are wars, global warming
3) They’re NOT one of the guys and children who are starving to
be thinking about. I don’t think
2) Ten times better than Boulder girls we’ll be seeing anymore of her any-
1) You gotta love that Mines Ass. Mike Stone
time soon. Goodbye… Seriously.
The End.
Halloween!
Do you have a great
Halloween costume this
year?
Are you going to be the
talk of the water cooler
come November 1st?
Do you have a camera
and want to be in the
Oredigger?
Submit pictures of yourself
in your Halloween costume
to mstone@mines.edu by
October 28th at Noon to
see if you made the Top Ten
Costumes!