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9/19/08: Initial Reactions...Short and Sweet:
We obviously have not begun our field placements and thus, I have no discussion as far as that is concerned. However, I thought I would make a first post just to get myself inthe habit of reflecting at least once a week on teaching-related events…
10/11/08: Long time...no rant =(
I have finally taught my first lesson in lab. Though I was undoubtedly perspiring THEentire time...I think it went fairly well. It was interesting after talking to my mom (whomhas been an educator in the same district for 30+ years) and she said that she still has thehardest time standing up in front of her peers. This eased my nerves a little (maybe it'snot just me). However, having that under my belt, even though it was only a ten minutelesson on the wonderful world of passive and active voice, I feel like I have overcome thefirst hurdle.Of course, I say this as I move on to discuss my next hurdle: the Lead a Discussion project. Allow me to preface this with: yuck, yuck, did I mention yuck? I am, of course,not referring to the assignment (which I think was well-needed), but to my performance. Ithought with my above-mentioned ability to rant I would have no problems leading adiscussion. Boy, was I wrong. Uptake, Uptake, Uptake. I need to work on my uptake.However, I must applaud my ability to re-word and re-pose the same question fourteenthousand times (pat on the back for that one). Needless to say, it was a learning lesson. Atfirst I was truly disheartened...but now I think I have realized that I am still so new at thisand that is why I am in 407 to learn and improve…
10/14/08: Is it just me...or are high schoolers giants?
I am finally in my placement--and finally in a high school. It’s weird; the lockers are bigger and the hallways are structured to insure that the new teacher, student, or visitor gets lost (and I did, but was still on time thankfully). Furthermore, the students (guys andgirls alike) are huge. Of course, I mean heightwise. I always thought that I was of averageheight--but they make me feel short. This will probably make it even more difficult for me to be an authority figure. I guess I just have to work on a nice 'I mean business' faceand accompany it with a direct tone.
10/18/08: Indecisiveness Cured?
So, I happen to be one of the most indecisive people in the world. I think I always fear that the decision I make will ultimately leave me bitter and regretful--even if it is assimple as what shoes to wear, or what to eat for lunch. But I feel like there is one thing Iknow for sure (disclaimer: this post is about to get dreamy and perhaps, a bitsentimental). I am a teacher. Okay, not certified just yet. But, I cannot picture myself doing anything else. I pretty much never want to leave my placement. I don't think I'veever been surer of anything. That's comforting.
10/22/08: Schools just smell right.
Allow me to elaborate on this seemingly awkward tagline. They say smell is the strongestsense tied to memory. Though I always wondered who the infamous 'they' was in allthose 'well, you know they say....' statements, I buy this one. I have a really strong sense
 
of smell and there are just certain smells that bring out the nostalgia in me. I feel this wayabout school. I can always remember that smell of the hallways, or of the wax on thefloor the first day of school or the first day back from winter break, and sadly enougheven the cafeteria food. I think because I enjoyed school so much (I guess that is mostly because that was back when I did not have all the responsibilities of being a pseudo-adult), those are smells I think on fondly. To the point, now that I am in my placement I'mstarting to love the following: that I wake up early and drive to school while it is stilldark, that my non-spill coffee mug is my new best friend, that I can successfully travelthrough the maze created by high schoolers re-capping their evenings in the morning, andthat smell of school. But enough nostalgia.
10/26/08: Dear Santa, For Christmas I would like teacher materials
It's like Christmas came early, with the hand-outs and the already completed lesson plans.Between lab, guest speakers in seminar and my mentor teachers giving nature--I amstacking up some serious resources…In Public speaking, I got to read some of their stories and they are coming along quitenicely. In particular, I got to read the thrilling tale of a student-teacher (that closelyresembles myself) 'losing it' when giving the responsibility of teaching the class whiletheir teacher was away. The story said this was due mostly to the high standards of their teacher. It was quite funny and I was pleased it at least said Ms. Davis and not Stephanie(ha-ha). I look forward to seeing this live when their speeches start next week. Let's justhope that is not the future of my teaching career...again fingers crossed, knock on woodetc.
10/31/08: I need to hire a Manager--of my time.
We had a talk in seminar about everyone's stressful schedules, neglected friends andloved-ones, and lack of sleep. I looked around the room and thought--we're all in thesame boat. That was the first time I'd felt that way. A lot of the people I know do not takethings half as serious as my pre-service teacher peers. We had a discussion about how thatis the personality of a teacher--perpetually feelings like you have never done enough.When I think about it, that is my mother and my aunt (both also teachers) to a tee.Though I have said so many times 'I do not want to turn into my mother.' I would like to.I am proud to be a part of a community of over-achieving, productive, and compassionateindividuals even if they tend to feel guilty, lose sleep, are hard on themselves, and spendall their weekends doing school work. I think we're a rare breed--and I'm okay with that.
11/4/08: I am staring in a new Infomercial.
Ever heard of the magic bullet? It is somewhat like a mini-blender that can be called uponto make anything from smoothies to nacho cheese. Well, in public speaking there newestspeeches are to sell a product. This was one group’s product. I was called upon mid-speech to come up and test it out. They followed this demonstration with: "See, if Ms.Davis can do it, anyone can." I keep telling myself it's all in jest, which it truly is. I am
 
 pleased to be included and enjoy seeing them progress from speech to speech. It is nice tofeel more and more a part of the classroom each session.
11/12/08: 'You've got the look'
 No...certainly not the 'look' Prince is referring to--an even better look. The teacher look. Ithink I just may be getting it down. In Public speaking a lot of the days are spent listeningto speeches. During a speech it is crucial that students give their attention and do not dothings that may distract the speaker. That is nerve-wracking, getting in front of your  peers, remembering your main points, and trying to remain charismatic under the pressure. Thus, one giggle, heckle, or even a conspicuous cough could cause an upheavalthat may discourage the speaker. Furthermore, if a student is causing these distractions,the teacher obviously cannot verbally reprimand them because this would only causemore distraction. This is where the look is necessary. It is the 'I mean business' look, the'there are serious consequences for that behavior' look, the 'is that really what you should be doing?' look. It's a big look--it says a lot.I come from a family of scowlers. Most of the adults/authority figures within my familycan shoot a look at you and without words you know to stop the action they disapprove of immediately. I'd like to think the look is hereditary. Anyways, I used the look yesterdayand it worked. Ahhhhha...success at last….On a fun and final note, I got a badge today so that I no longer have to wear a 'guest pass.'I'm not a guest--I belong here!! At least for Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Now, I havea legitimate badge that I can don around my neck that has my picture and the word'staff'...if only, that last part were true....to dream, to dream.
11/15/08:
 
' 
But in the end, the only steps that matter...Are the onesyou take all by yourself' 
' 
Yesterday when you were youngEverything you needed done was done for youNow you do it on your own'--The Weepies 'Can't Go Back Now' 
In seminar we talk a lot about the limbo stage between student and teacher. I think thisalso somewhat translates into the transition to adulthood. I am twenty-one, so legally, Iam an adult. However, I am talking about entry into the ever-frightening 'real world.' Ithink this year it has all gotten 'real,' if you will. Most of our days are non-stop, coffee-filled, and sleep-lacking. However, this is not another 'I need more time in my week'complaint (though that might be nice). I guess I am just saying that more than ever I feelresponsible for managing my life including responsibilities for classes, responsibilities toa tutee, to field placement, to work, to friends, to family, to myself (when I get thechance) etc. This week was possibly busier than ever, but I did not feel stressed (okay,maybe a little), but it was not that 'how am I going to finish all this' stress. It was a goodfeeling--being productive feels good. Oh, and checking off things on my to-do list is oneof the most euphoric moments (sad, but a little true). I guess what I am saying is that I
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