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What Socrates had to say about Lyndon LaRouche!
Is the LaRouchecult a cargocult?
 A dialogue between a member of the LYM, a university student and Socrates! 
STUDENT: I am afraid the party has already begun.SOCRATES. Are we too late??STUDENT: I hope not!LYM. Yes, you are dear friends. The party has begun. But be welcome still. It is calm here, teparty has moved down to the basement.
[The student and Socrates are led in and the three walks towards a sofa and sits down)
SOCRATES: Oh, ok. But lets sit down and dicuss here, upstairs, first, for a while, before we godown to the others.STUDENT: What is happening here tonight?LYM: Downstairs, in the Grand Academy of the Basement, we are doing new experiments toprove that the universe is basicly LaRouchian and not Newtonian. They are led by the LaRouchePAC coordinator Procrustes.STUDENT: I just hope that the LaRouche PAC-man does not chop of some of the better parts of the poor LYMs and Lymettes!SOCRATES: Parts? No, he is only interested in stretching out their brains, and emptying their wallets, if they still have wallets!
The Grand Academy of the Basement
STUDENT: Please tell me what they study in the Grand Academy of the Basement.LYM: One research group in the grand academy down in the basement has recently found amethod to extract light out of cucumbers by using the LaRouche-Riemann formula. Another grouphas finished a new Lpac TV-program on the LaRouche-Barry Fell model on the study of ancienthistory.STUDENT: Tell me more about the model.LYM: With pleasure! This last model is fascinating. They have actually proved that the ancientseafarer Meow travelled to Latin America 500 years B.C. and made a worldhistorical forecastabout the coming of a GREAT economist 2500 years after his time. When studying somemysterious drawings on the wall, using the LaRouche-Fell model it suddenly became clear thatthis was an ancient text.
 
STUDENT: Interesting!LYM: Yes! It appears that Meow and his cousin Miaou wrote a text in an ancient Nubian alphabetbut they themselves spoked hieroglyphic!STUDENT: You mean ancient Egyptian?LYM: No, hieroglyphic. We transcribed it using a dictionary of old Egyptian hieroglypics! And itwas actually an interesting form of hieroglyphic, they did not use grammar at all! Fascinating! Andit appears that they also found some ancient runes there, The wiking, who was soon-to-be-decladed-god, Othin travelled to this cave in what is today Peru, after visiting the interior of Canada, but 1000 years before Meow, and wrote perfect old norse, just as they did 2500 yearsafterwrds. Fascinating! But without grammar to, amazing!STUDENT: Ah! What else is studied in the Grand Academy of LYM?LYM: An internal project for the LC, led by the wife of Lyn, Helga Zepp La Puta! It is an attempt toreduce human excrement to its original food, by separating the several parts, removing thetincture which it receives from the gall, making the odour exhale, and scumming off the saliva. If this could be done, the LC would save lots of money in food costs. This project has a weeklyallowance, from the Windy Hill, of a vessel filled with human excrementsSOCRATES: Off course, it has to come from Windy hill! From where else?STUDENT: And more?LYM: My favourite project, is the one I am working with myself, on the Leibnizian universallanguage. And then, off course, the economy project!STUDENT: Tell me more about your project.LYM: I will. It has to do with the Leibnizian project to create an universal language. The idea is tointerpret all sentences that people say, as metaphors, and to investigate the underlying axiomsbehind what people say. It is moddelled upon the methods the ancient platonic kingdom of Tribniaused, for Instance, they used to decypher a Close-stool to signify a privy council; a Flock of Geese, a Senate; a lame Dog, an Invader; the Plague, a standing Army; a Buzzard, a Minister;the Gout, a High Priest; a Gibbet, a Secretary of State; a Chamber pot, a Committee of Grandees; a Sieve, a Court Lady; a Broom, a Revolution; a Mouse-trap, an Employment; abottomless Pit, the Treasury; a Sink, a C---t; a Cap and Bells, a Favourite; a broken Reed, aCourt of Justice; an empty Tun, a General; a running Sore, the Administration and...SOCRATES: I think we understand by now, please continue!LYM: The model of the kingdom of Tribnia is updated a bit. All bad words are in reality metaphorsfor the brittish, and perhaps some jews, and all good words are in reality metaphors for LyndonLaRouche. So if you meet a person on the street that wants to buy a tasty slice of Pizza, you canbe assured that he wants you to organize him to give his last 1000 dollars to you, including thepizza slice. Similarly, if any local organizer says that he or she thinks the office is a bit untidy andneeds to be cleaned, you can be sure that this organizer in reality is an agent of George Soros.STUDENT. What will happen to that person?LYM: If the person is a boomer, he or she would have to confess and work even harder at the joycamp (we have renamed the phone team room, the joy camp). If the person does not confessand gets angry and leaves the organization, we just declare him to be an eternal enemy of the
 
King of Laputa, Lyndon LaRouche. Everything good they ever did is thrown into the fires in thememory hole and destroyed, and they are declared to be eternally evil.STUDENT: Fascinating!SOCRATES. Yes, but i actually think this project stinks even more that the food project you talkedabout before!LYM: Both projects originates from Windy Hill!SOCRATES: Or rather from the excrements of Windy Hill! But, enough about that. tell me aboutthe economy.LYM: Lyndon LaRouche has recently issued his 3435:th forecast! I have the Morning Briefingwhere it is printed here!First LaRouche declares that the organization has to demand that LaRouche gets exonerated.LaRouche was imprisoned for five years due to manipulations, involving false cheques, made byan ex. member, M. LaRouche explains that M an angloisraeli, babylonian, venitian and newtonianagent. Apparantly M tried to assassinate Lyndon back in 1983. Lyndon ate a piece of Belgianchocolade that year, that M had given to him, and it got stuck in his throat so he almost choked.Apparently his aidee Rick has saved the piece of chocolate from the vomits of LaRouche back in1983, and the fingerprints of M is all over it, and the fingerprints of the anonymous frogmen thatgave the chocolate to her!SOCRATES: It sounds like the Grand Academy of the Basement made that discovery!LYM: They did!STUDENT: But the economy?LYM: LaRouche declares that LaRouche, the greatest LaRouchian economist using theLaRouche-Riemann model, that ever has lived on this galaxy, now forecasts the total collapse of the global financial system.SOCRATES: Again?LYM: I am quoting Lyn:"
Unless LaRouchian governments are established in the U.S.A. and key sectors of Western Europe during the next several years, the coming depression means an end to the existence of humanity as we know it. From the standpoint of theoretical economics, the predicament of the entire advanced capitalist sector coming depression will be like that of theeconomy in 1933. The continuation of the capitalist system into the latter part of this decademeans fascism. Fascism, in turn, means nuclear holocaust by the end of the 1970's..." 
SOCRATES: I think I've heard that one before...STUDENT: Tell me more!LYM: The basic conclusion is:
"The time for this reform is now. Every government which opposessuch a reform should be promptly replaced by one of a more sensible, more productivedisposition in favor of global cooperation to this end.The question to be posed to governments isnot the silly question: "Do you agree?" but, rather, "Are you actually committed to surviving?"" 
SOCRATES questions the LYM-member.
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