Listening

Mindful Listening Ability to be present in the moment when communication is occurring is actually listening.

Listening
Why are we Poor Listeners? Listening is more tiring than talking. Mindful listening demands a total concentration. An average person normally speaks at a rate of 125-200 words per minute. An average listener can comprehend upto 400 words per minute. This difference leaves lots of idle time for mind to wander. Hearing is constantly happening physiological process. 2

Listening
Levels of Listening 1. Marginal Listening: as the sender speaks, the receiver does not pay attention, result is misunderstanding and errors 2. Evaluative Listening: listeners pays reasonable attention but evaluates senders remarks as correct or not, once the receiver hears something he/she does not accept, listening stops 3. Emphatic Listening: is the ability to understand and relate to anothers situation and feelings.
It is not easy because it requires concentration.
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Listening
Being Mindful Empty your mind of thoughts, ideas, plans, and concerns so that you are open to the other person. Concentrate on the person, say to yourself, I want to focus on this person and what he or she is feeling and thinking. Try top push the responses which you are framing in your mind away, they interfere with your concentration. If your mind wanders, dont criticize yourself, thats distracting, gently refocus on the person, its natural for thoughts to interfere. Let the other person know you are attending mindfully by giving nonverbal responses (nods, facial expressions), asking questions and keeping eye contact. Evaluate how mindfully you listened. Did you understand other persons thoughts and feelings?
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Listening
Obstacles to Effective Listening Information overload Message complexity Noise, distractions Internal preoccupation Prejudgment Emotionally loaded language Lack of effort Not adapting to diverse listening styles
techniques are different for listening for information and pleasure take care of the cultural differences
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Listening
Emphatic Listening Tips 1. Pay attention 2. Avoid distractions 3. Stay tuned in 4. Do not assume and interrupt 5. Watch for nonverbal cues 6. Ask questions 7. Take notes 8. Convey meaning 9. Think 10. Evaluate after listening and 11. Evaluate facts presented 12. Paraphrase first 13. Watch for nonverbal cues

Listening Forms of Nonlistening

1. Pseudolistening: it is pretending to listen. 2. Monopolizing: this is continuously focusing communication on ourselves instead of the person who is talking.

Listening
Consider this dialogue: Ali: Im really worried about my Econ class. I just cant seem to get that stuff. Salma: Well, I know what you mean. Econ was a real struggle for me too, but its nothing compared to the stat course Im taking now. I mean this one is going to destroy me totally. Ali: I remembered how frustrated you got in the Econ course, but you finally did get it. I just cant seem to, and I need for course for my major. Ive tried going to the review sessions, but Salma: I didnt find the review sessions helpful. Why dont you focus on your other classes and use them to pull up your average? Ali: Thats not the point. I want to get this stuff. Salma: You think youve got problems? Do you know that right now I have three papers and one exam hanging over my head? 8 Ali: I wonder if I should hire a tutor.

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Forms of Nonlistening
3. Selective Listening: it involves focusing on only particular parts of communication. e.g. smokers listening to hazards of smoking 4. Defensive Listening: involves perceiving personal attacks, criticism, or hostile undertones when none are intended. 5. Ambushing: is listening carefully for the purpose of attacking a speaker. E.g. public debates between political candidates 6. Literal Listening: involves listening only for content and ignoring the relationship level of meaning. We are therefore insensitive to others feelings and to our connection with them. Danger is that it can disconfirm others. 9