listen to the Lord when God told him he'd better not cast a spell on Israel.Even his brayin' jackass had more sense than Balaam did, and when Balaam'sdonkey saw a shiny angel that was so big he tied up traffic on the PromisedLand Freeway, that donkey tried to do a quick U-turn and head on home. ButBalaam was blind as a bat. He couldn't see no angel and thought that donkeywas just bein' ornery. So Balaam kung-fu-chopped the donkey to try andmake him mind. At least that's what the donkey told my great-grandsire athousand generations removed, and his name was Boaz the Bullock, whofounded the Bullock division of the Tithe Clan. But Boaz was one tithe that jumped over the fence and got away. Anyhow, Boaz the Bullock got capturedby Gideon the Gadite who used him to sire a whole herd of fat, juicy tithesfor the Feast of Tabernacles. But some of my kinfolk didn't get the chop.They stampeded up north to Spain for greener pastures. And some of theirkids…uh, I mean, calves, ended up on Spanish cattle boats so they could go toAmerica to sing Yankee Doodle Dandy and hang out with the buffalo out onthe range.Folks, a crazy notion's been goin' round for some time that a tithe isgreen paper with numbers on it. But filthy lucre ain't a member of the Titheclan, though a peach or potato might be. My best buddy Cowboy Cody, he'dspend hours readin' his Bible to me, 'cause he's a lay preacher at his church.Nobody at the ranch pays him much mind now, so he uses me as a guinea pigto practice his sermons on. But Cody's problem is he'll put more stock inwhat church tradition says than what his King James Bible says. It plainlysays that a tithe is farm or ranch produce, plain and simple. If Boaz theBullock was alive today he'd say money tithes just don't cut the mustard!Now, here's the first cud to chew on:
If Peter, James and John could peek down from heaven and watch some ofthe carnival clowns passin' themselves off as Gospel preachers, they wouldwonder how those varmits could'a got past the watchmen of the church totwist the “faith once delivered unto the saints” spoken of in Jude verse 3.Guess the watchmen of the church must'a been dozin’ off on the job, huh?Used to be a preacher was so poor and hungry he could smell chicken fryin'clear across the county. Now he can sniff a hundred-dollar bill from adistance of ten rows and ten aisles.