Lego to Build Wall on Mexican Border
Candidate No. 5
Minister of Silly WalksDear Editor/students of Weston High School:You, my fellows Westonians are some of the ﬁnest that this school has ever seen. Your attention to class workand attendance has allowed you to receive one of the best educations in Massachusetts. The diverse class structurethat you have encountered should help you in your pursuit of greatness. Every necessity has been covered in thisinstitution.As a youngster, you developed social skills during frees, where you could caucus with fellow classmates toensure that social image that you portray is the one that you want. Rich study of cultures has opened your eyes tothe way that life is outside of the utopia of Weston. Like the life of a General Motors CEO.Math and science courses are unparalleled at Weston High School. In the biology rooms, the fetal pigs seteach room abuzz giving them that science feel that will help to induce learning no matter what the psychological cost.Math rooms fare the same. State of the art technologies allow learning to take a digital approach. No longer can onesay that they could not get the notes, for they are already online before the bell. This school lacks nothing that an upand coming student could want. Woodshop, who would want a woodshop?-The un-silent minority
Letter to Our Esteemed Editor
Nogales, Arizona—After a long and bloodybidding war, the LegoGroup of Holland hasﬁnally won a contract tobuild a fence along theborder between the UnitedStates and Mexico.Bidding forthe contract was ﬁrstannounced by the Bushadministration back inlate November, 2008, andwrapped up in early March.For those whodo not know how biddingworks, a bidding war iswhen multiple companiesvie, or “bid”, for contractsto build or do something.They offer to do the taskfor a certain amount of money, and who everoffers to charge the lowestcost generally wins. “As I recall, thestarting bid was 500million dollars to buildthe fence,” said Lego CEOKjeld Kirk Kristiansen, “weeventually got it down toabout 30 million.” Lego’s chief competitor in the building,Rent-a-fence, had to pullout after it was discoveredthat its fence was onlyintended to be temporary.Already, a teamof more than 3,000 Brickmasters and “volunteer” school children have begunlaying the foundation forthe fence, which will stretchabout 900 miles from theGulf of Mexico to the PaciﬁcOcean. “Everyone atﬁrst thought thiswas ridiculous,building a fenceout of Legos,” said the Legosupervisor of the project,Larry Buildez, “but when youtake ﬁnancing andthe environment intoconsideration, it’s actually agood idea.” Although thestandard Lego brick is a2-stud by 4-stud brick,because of the scope of thefence, Lego plans to usethe above-standard 2 by16 stud brick. “Each brickcosts about 1 and three-ﬁfths cents to make, soeven though we’re talkingabout several million bricks,that’s really quite cheap,” said Buildez.Including the totalcost of bricks and workers,the fence is estimated tocost about 17 million USdollars to build. As for thedisparity with the contractprice, Kristiansen explained, “this is essentially a Legoset, and like all Lego sets,the price is going to be jacked up far beyond whatit should be.” Even more like aLego set, the fence willbe builtby handfollowingeasy-to-usefull-colorinstructionbooklets. “Alot of ourworkerswill be coming from dayschools, or volunteerbuilders from around theworld,” said Lego’s HumanResources coordinator MarkSteinbrick, so it’s importantto have a set of directionseveryone can follow.Actually, themajority of the workerswho will be laying outthe individual bricks arefrom Texas and Arizona’spublic schools, who will beworking for desperatelyneeded community service.Department of HomelandSecurity agent Jack Bauer,who is overseeing securityfor the project, believesthey are just doing thisto get out of school, andimpress colleges, but hehas no proof.To ensure honesty,all the student builders havesigned a document statingthat they genuinely wantto help their communities,are not interested in doingthis only for colleges to see.Interestingly enough, all 5,314students have signed theirnames as “I. P. Bucketts”.Mr. Bucketts, of Houston, TX, could not bereached for comment.With regards to thefence itself, the Lego designteam decided to go with asimple and elegant layout. “It’s a large wall,” said Legodesigner Bjork Bon Jovi. Thefence, when ﬁnished willbe about 10 feet high, fourfeet across, and 900 mileslong. However, unlike earlymodels, the ﬁnal product willincorporate a variety of colors,representing recycled partstaken from other models. “We try to avoidmaking new parts if we can” said Kristiansen, “reusing oldpieces is just part of the fun.” Despite this so-called “fun,” a Lego ofﬁcial, speakingon condition of anonymity,said that in fact, Lego wasscrapping several other largeprojects, including its Moonbase, to provide the necessarymaterial for the fence.
PHOTO / toyrhinos.nl