Embed Doc
Copy Link
Readcast
Collections

CommentGo Back

Download

A tribute to Vyagalamma on Mother’s Day

Nancy Regan famous quote “ A woman is like a tea bag, one gets to know its strength once it isdipped in hot water” suited Vygala a woman from Mysore who lives in the memories of her children and grandchildren. Had Vyagalamma been alive today she would be a centenarian. Shedied in 1979 when her kidneys failed her. She lives in her children and grandchildren’s memoriesas a pillar of strength and this dedicated to her memory.

Vyagala was 13 years old when her brother bought a friend and introduced him to the family. Heinformed that the friend’s family owned coffee estates in Croog and would be a suitablebridegroom for Vyagala. The girl playing around the house tormenting her Portuguese stepmother, looked over her shoulder, did not like what she saw but kept quiet. All these men at homewere mostly in Military Uniforms and never really spoke to them. The Stepmother was a youngwoman with braided hair tied firmly criss- crossed making her look still like a child, she did not saya word for or against this proposal. She was somehow left in a convent and the orphan waschosen by Vyagala father to be his second wife. With this courtesy visit Vygala fate got sealed.The day of marriage was not much different from other days, owing to the fact that the Vyagalafamily was one which was recently converted to Roman Catholic; she was being married to aLingayat farm owner who promised to marry in Church. Many of her relatives were converts inother Christian groups too. Vyagala father served the English Army those days and like to believethat his daughter would enjoy being owner of an estate.The Estate was huge and her husband had separate quarters at the farm and so Vyagala playeda lot and slowly learned to keep the house and learned farm work, especially keeping a tag of allthe produce from the estate and farm. She was good at Supervision and kept accounts of everything. Her days were busy, but the in laws were not all obliging, a brother – in – law waskind but he seldom got his say in the family.Vygala was in her twenties when she realized her burden, she had six children, all girls except for the first born. He seemed to be good with his hands, played the drum well, but was very fidgety,was not the one to listen. Well, he was her son and she cared. Vyagala, now knew that she hadbeen very ignorant and with no family support from the in laws , the marriage was not the one her brother intended. Her husband was an alcoholic and not of a very good character. He kept tellingher that he was not very well and thus would need his nurse to be with him and in her ignoranceVygala would carry the children and shift from the small house to the Verandah. How cold it wasthere in the morning and after her coffee which she shared with the husband and the nurse shewould be on her way to oversee the work at the estate. Her work got over only after mid nightmost days, but she was enthusiastic and self motivated and did not have a problem with longhours. Her parents had died and these days while she met her brothers and cousins was alwaysfor very short visits. She had another problem, she with child again, her work at the estate whichshe was now doing without her husbands help was tedious.One day Vygala’s husband complained of severe pain in the abdomen which as it increased hecried out to her, called her inside and told her how sorry he was that he had wronged her allthrough these days. He was dying. Vyagala, knew that the family would not let be at the estate if he died and killing her and her children was a simple thing, for those who eyed the property. Whowould she turn to, her decision was made, she would take her children and her meager belonging, which was some money and her ornaments, to the city ( Mysore), she would rent ahouse and secure the family. She gave up her rights to the land to secure her children’s safety.Before she started out her brother who was an officer in the Army by then and had a big familyvisited her, his offer was that she leave the children in Croog, they could be settled into anorphanage and he would look for a Catholic alliance for her. She was very good looking and thehard work at the estate only added to her built, he was sure she could be settled well again. Hisonly problem was the child still in the womb. What would they do?

She would face his threat of not meeting her again, but she did not abandon her children, theywere her strength, she took them to Mysore like she decided. It took her some days to settle themand she went up to big farm owners who needed Supervisors for their warehouses, she knew her work of drying, cleaning and bagging and stacking. Sometimes she was paid with millet andpaddy, sometimes with money. A six pence would carry her through the week very well, sheneeded to keep some saving for the time of birth of this seventh child who would never be awareof who his father was.That day Vygala had woken up, early even the cock had not crowed and saw that her fourthdaughter was awake too, so she called her and gave her some rice and curry to eat, this was theleft over from the previous evening meal she had cooked. This was she usually ate before she leftfor work, she would carry some millet dough balls for work, she would eat this dry with some rawonion for lunch. It was a bleak day; it had been raining all night. She put the child she had fed tosleep again, told her to go out during the day and see if she could attend the local school andwent out. It was still not yet 5 am in the morning, she was scared but she had to go. Vygala got toher work place by 5.30 still in dark because of clouded sky.It was lunch time and she was just sitting down to have her lunch, her stomach was big with thechild, and even walking was taking time. She saw that her elder son was running towards her,how he had got the guard to let him in surprised her, he was breathless. She walked as fast asshe could with him, when they reached back, the younger girls were crying, the neighbors were ather house, they broke the sad news to her. Her two older daughters had been playing in the rain,they gathered some water dripping from the roof tiles in their cupped hands and drank it. It wasonly their still and cold bodies which were lying on the floor for Vygala to see. The younger children were crying not knowing what to do.Vygala had no tears in her eyes, her only concern was to save the other children. Vygala never considered the episode normal. Something had to be terribly wrong, she had survived with thechildren on the hostile farm, there there were snakes, wolves… it did not happen there. Shemade a quiet vow; she had to find a safer place for the children. For the burial, she took her elder son and visited the local church, they would help her. She sent a word to her cousin in Bangalore,he would visit them.She looked for a safe locality and settled there. The child was also born, it was boy, this broughther joy. This is the boy who will be with me in my old age she thought.The new house was good, the locality had a school and very kind teachers who took her daughters and admitted them into classes as per their caliber. The elder girl called Abhishekamdid not like the school and Vygala taught her to cook and she helped in caring for the babybrother. Vygala taught of her as a blessing to the family. Abhishekam was very sincere, knewhow to maintain the house, she was also very clever, she never overworked, she always got allthe small jobs done from her sisters. He brother, Anna, as he was called would do all the hardones, all she had to do was praise him.It was Francina her fourth born who was bright, she did not like house work, she was the first oneto wake up, eat the leftovers with her and then sit with the books given to her by her teachers atschool. Vygala, knew franccina would be dependable and would take care of any trouble that her children got into. She would, however, need help in doing her chores around her family that her other children would be made aware and she Vygala knew she had a team that stuck together for life. Kamla, the youngest girl was active but she was forever stuck to Francina except when shewas hungry, then she was with Abhishekam. She was also the favorite of the Anna too.Vyagala was aware that she had more daughters than sons and to protect them was becomingmore difficult as her elder son grew to be a teenager and was roaming the streets rather than stayguard at home. Initially when she came to the city the neighbours were caring as she was

pregnant and although finding work and working to and from work was difficult the days wentsmoothly. Vyagala was also aware that now that she was not pregnant, the men in the city hadtheir eyes on her. Vygala helped her neighbors with stock of paddy and millet from her store whenfamine stuck and they in turn protected her and her children. But the nights were difficult, peopleknocked on her door, the daughters woke up, Franccina asked who it was and why they werenot opening the door, Vygala told her that this knock was from Unearthly beings and told the girlsnever to open the door in her absence. The girls agreed. Vygala, knew this was untrue, but shewould explain this to them when they grew older. This was Single parenting in a place and at atime that was never fit for such working women as Vygala.Vygala’s uncle came in to look her up, he was pleased with what she had accomplished. He wasalso sad at the lack of attention that her children got. For instance when typhoid struck the city, allthe girls caught the disease, Vygala still could not be home to take care of them, all she could dowas to admit them into the children’s hospital opened by some missionaries. All the three gotback home after a month each. They were skin and bones but alive. She thanked god thatplague had not hit them or their neighbors. She made it a point to say night prayers everyday.Vygala accepted the offer of marrying her elder son to her uncles only daughter, the girl wassophisticated and good looking and it was her favorite niece, she only wished her son would bemore like her. When Anna saw the girl he was wonder struck, he did everything asked by Vygala,skilled as he was ,his earning increased and the family could move into their own house. Sheshared her joy with her cousins with whom she maintained friendship. Her own immediate familyhad moved away to Delhi, and all communication stopped.Life continued, her two daughters were doing well at School, Franccina had stood first in theSchool in first public exam of class seven and was keen student. She also kept the house in goodshape, she never really entered the kitchen though. Tragedy struck at this crucial time whenVygala was just considering that it would be a good time to get her elder daughter married. Sheknew for this she would need help from her cousins, she needed to make time to discuss this withthem. Tragedy was in the form of her daughter – in –law being detected with Tuberculosis of theintestine.Vygala took this calmly, continued her work schedule, got abhisekam married to a very smart andgentle man army cadet from Coimbatore, which was near Mysore. Abhishekam came to helpwhen Susheela was born, the first born of Anna, but alas the disease worsened and Kanti theadored daughter – in – law had to hospitalized. This was real tragedy, when she sent food for thedaughter – in- law it came back without being touched, she wanted to see her baby and theVygala knew she could not send the baby for fear of losing it. Vygala promised Kanti that shewould personally look after Susheela and extracted a promise back that she would never ask for her at the hospital. At this pint of time Kanti was shifted to a sanatorium. A Sanitarium helped inseclusion for fatal disease which could spread, it had beds under a tiled roof on the edge of thehospital compound. The beds were kept two to three feet away from each other and no body wasallowed to stay with the patient. Francina who went with tiffin box of food for Kanti came back withstories that she had seen ants entering and leaving from the skin of her legs and arms, andVygala heart bled with sadness. Within six months from then Kanti died, leaving Vygala again a

mother

of an infant. Vygala now mostly prayed to Mother Mary for strength, till now her favoritesaint had been St.Antony in whose name she had named her first born.Her Son wished to marry again, he had already got over the death of his lovely wife, this timeVygala went to the convent to look for a orphan. She was very sure that this is what she wantedto do, with what life was giving her she would never be rich enough to donate or adopt. Shewould have to work hard all her life. She was also impressed by her step mother character in her childhood and hoped for a similar understanding female brought up in similar circumstances. Sheexpected that she would be able to love the mother less child.Soon the grandchildren came inone by one, vygala realized that Kanti’s daughter the elder born was delicate and did not fit intothis family although she was with her. Vygala continued being a mother to her grand daughter for