Dont Waste Your Twenties Part 1: Taking Advantage of the Unique Powers of the Twentysomething Brain

by Brett & Kate McKay February 4, 2013

At age 20: Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard and cofounded Microsoft, and Sir Isaac Newton began developing a new branch of mathematics. At age 21: Thomas Alva Edison created his first invention, an electric vote recorder, Steve Jobs co-founded Apple Inc., and Alfred Tennyson published his first poetry. At age 22: Inventor Samuel Colt patented the Colt six-shooter revolver, and Cyrus Hall McCormick invented the McCormick reaper, which allowed one man to do the work of five At age 23: T. S. Eliot wrote The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, John Keats penned Ode on a Grecian Urn, and Truman Capote published his first novel, Other Voices, Other Rooms. At age 24: Johannes Kepler defended the Copernican theory and described the structure of the solar system. At age 25: Orson Welles conscripted, directed, and starred in Citizen Kane, Charles Lindbergh became the first person to fly alone across the Atlantic, New York farmhand Joseph Smith founded the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, John Wesley began planting the seeds for Methodism at Oxford, and Alexander the Great became the King of Persia. At age 26: Albert Einstein published five major research papers in a German physics journal, fundamentally changing mans view of the universe and leading to such inventions as television and the atomic bomb, Benjamin Franklin published the first edition of Poor Richards Almanac, Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin, and Napoleon Bonaparte conquered Italy.

An impressive list of accomplishments to be sure. And despite how many might interpret this kind of precociousness, I would argue that these men accomplished what they did not despitetheir age, but because of it.

A Disposable Decade?
Maybe youve heard it said, or even said it yourself: Thirty is the new twenty. Things that were once markers of maturity in the past finishing school, landing your first real job, getting hitched, having kids, buying a house are getting pushed back later in life. Instead of hitting these milestones in ones early or mid-twenties, as our parents and grandparents did, economic, sociological, and cultural factors have postponed these steps for many until the latter part of the decade, and into ones thirties. This has opened up an unprecedented period of time and development for young adults. The twenties have been relabeled emerging adulthood or extended adolescence, and because of its nascent nature, there arent a lot of guideposts on how a man should spend this new stage of life. In the absence of such guidance, the twenties have come to be seen as a time to dabble, drift, and adventure, with the idea that you can get serious about stuff later once you hit thirty. Thus, the twenties have been branded as disposable an inconsequential holding period between two decades of schooling and becoming a real adult. But the idea that ones twenties are unimportant couldnt be farther from the truth. In fact, thirty is the new twenty is one of the biggest lies of our age. In this two-part series, well explain why.

This Is Your Brain in Your Twenties

The prevailing view these days is that people used to get started in life earlier simply because the economy allowed it, or that the Man shamed people into quickly becoming a grown-up instead of spending time being free, having fun, and exploring, and, since these factors are no longer in effect, there arent any good reasons for making important and consequential decisions and commitments in your twenties anymore. While that explanation of why milestones have been delayed has truth to it, there does in fact remain very compelling reasons for beginning to shape lifes most important elements while still in your twenties and they dont have anything to do with culture or economics. Rather, theyre biological, and thus timeless they apply just as much to the 1950s as to today. Now we could delve into one aspect of biology as it concerns delayed adulthood that of reproduction as it isnt just affected by age for the ladies; aging male sperm is

thought to be responsible for mutations that lead to things like autism and schizophrenia. But well cover that important topic another time. Today I want to center our discussion on something that transcends fatherhood, and affects all the big life decisions youll make particularly as it concerns things like career and relationships, even faith. And thats the twentysomething brain. The human brain develops from bottom to top and from back to front. At the bottom-center sits the limbic system, in which resides some of the more primitive parts of our brain, areas that are responsible for things like sleep, hunger, emotions, sex, and pleasure. Located at the front of the brain is the prefrontal cortex. Last to develop, it is often referred to as the CEO of the brain the executive of the mind. It helps you do things like process probability, regulate emotions and impulses, delay gratification, handle uncertainty and abstract goals, plan for the future, and make good decisions and judgments. During adolescence, both parts of the brain swing into action and interact as they move you towards adulthood. The limbic system revs up your feelings of emotion, motivation, and the craving for reward, causing your teenage self to feel restless and increasing your desire to do big things, take risks, experience everything, forge friendships, and become independent from your parents. At the same time, your prefrontal cortex begins its final maturation and starts to act as a check to these new surging impulses, attempting to keep you from doing anything too stupid. (The New York Times has a neat interactive webpage showing your brain maturation from childhood to young adulthood.) This is why young adults often seem capable of great maturity at some times, and then do bone-headed things at other times the impulsive and CEO parts of their brains are having a tug-of-war, and sometimes one wins, and sometimes the other does. For this reason, your personality is kind of uneven during this period. In your early twenties, your prefrontal cortex is almost finished maturing, but not quite. It used to be thought that the prefrontal cortex finished developing during the teen years, but we now know that its maturation isnt complete until around age 25. What this means is that from approximately ages 15-25, youre walking around and experiencing the world with an adolescent brain. This is why almost all of us can look back at episodes not only from high school, but also from college, that make us shake our heads and ask: What was I thinking?! Now, you might gather from all this that its best to wait until your thirties to make big decisions after all until your prefrontal cortex is fully formed and mature. But this isnt the case, for as one neurobiologist put it, your twenties are not simply a time of enormous risk, but also one of enormous opportunity.

What are those enormous opportunities that your twentysomething brain offers you? There are two big ones and they only come around once in a lifetime. First is the opportunity to passionately and uninhibitedly go after big goals, figure out lifes big questions, and make important commitments. Second, is the opportunity to take an active role in the development of the executive part of your brain in order to create a foundation for lasting success. (These brain advantages apply to teenagers too, obviously, but twentysomethings have a lot more leeway to make their own decisions and thus exercise their brains special powers. Theyre at the crossroads of opportunity and independence.) In todays post well be focusing on the first advantage of the twentysomething brain; tomorrow, well delve into advantage numero dos.

Twentysomething Brain Advantage #1: The passionate, uninhibited motivation to fearlessly go after your passions, figure out lifes big questions, and make important commitments.
It may seem like a cruel twist of nature that at the same time you are feeling motivated to take risks and seek rewards, are experiencing a surge in emotion, and are beginning to grapple with the complexities of adulthood and make decisions that will influence your whole future, the executive part of your brain isnt up to speed yet as if youre driving a car with faulty brakes. And indeed, thats how researchers long saw it that the adolescent brain was broken recklessly and pointlessly impulsive. But more recent research has shown that the same qualities of the adolescent brain that can be liabilities, can also be distinct advantages not accidents of nature at all, but purposeful evolutionary adaptions. That purpose is to get a young adult to venture from home, strike out on his own, explore new turf, and take chances in the search for success. Those able to successfully harness the unique energies of youth have, from time immemorial, gained an edge over their peers. As neuroscientist B.J. Casey put it, the unbalanced nature of the adolescent brain is exactly what youd need to do the things you have to do then. What kind of powers does the adolescent brain give you that you need as you venture into adulthood? There are three:

Fervent passion Fearlessness in the face of risk A keen and thoughtful curiosity about people and the world Deep Passion As weve discussed, during adolescence the limbic system of the brain starts amping up your feelings of emotion and motivation, while at the same time the prefontal cortex begins to develop its capacity to check the impulses the former generates. And again, the frontal lobes

complete their maturation around the mid-twenties. Before that time, the limbic system, particularly the amygdala, reacts more strongly to stimuli than it does in adults. While the frontal cortex generates a thinking response, the amygdala produces a more emotional, gut-oriented reaction. Neurobiologists arent sure of the exact relationship between the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex in the adolescent brain (and remember, this is the brain from ages approx. 15-25), beyond the fact that the latter becomes more strongly activated as it matures and begins to act as a greater and greater check to the former. But I like to imagine the set-up in this (totally unscientific) analogy: The prefrontal cortex is like a sieve. In the adolescent brain the holes in the sieve are large, so that stimuli from the outside world mostly goes right through, and lights up the amygdala, creating an emotional, gut reaction. As the frontal cortex matures and strengthens, the holes become increasingly small the net catches and analyzes more and more of the stimuli before it hits the amygdala, giving the brain the chance to come up with a rational, measured response. Indeed, the prefrontal cortex is also known as the area of sober second thought, as it is the part of the brain that weighs the consequences of a choice. This is why in your teen years, up through your early twenties, you experience things reallyintensely relationships are intense, spiritual experiences are intense, emotional highs are high and lows are low. New experiences feel amazing; thrills give you more of a rush. Stimuli from the world goes directly into the brain instead of being caught in the cortex sieve and dryly analyzed first. Experiences are able to light up your emotional amygdala, allowing you to feelthings deeply. Here you have the neurological reason behind the famously fervent passion of youth. The intensity of the adolescent brain can make our teenage years and early twenties feel overly dramatic. But this passion also allows twentysomethings to feel strongly about issues, causes, people, and spirituality. It can drive you to start movements, take action, and make commitments steps which are then facilitated by the next twentysomething brain power. Fearlessness in the Face of Risk In addition to the intensity and emotion the amygdala brings to the equation, the reward centers of the brain are also highly sensitive during this time. This drives you to take more chances. Contrary to popular belief, adolescents actually overestimate some risks those of the known variety, like the risk of getting pregnant or getting an STD. But they underestimate unknown risks anything where the likelihood of winning and losing is ambiguous. Adults will often shut down the idea of such risks as soon as they cross their minds, but an adolescent will take time to really consider them.

Obviously, this penchant for risk-taking can have a down-side theres a reason the mortality rate for adolescents is triple that of grade-school children. But, fearlessness in the face of risk can also be absolutely necessary in getting you to go after your dreams and ideals. Making any big decision or commitment involves risk will my business fail, is she the one, will I be happy a thousand miles from home? And risk kicks the prefrontal cortex into high gear What if this happens? What about x,y,z? Obviously, rational analysis is a great thing, but there are some things in life where you just have to push down your fear and take the plunge. The twentysomething brain gives you the fearlessness to do so. But as the prefrontal cortex gathers strength, it starts to talk you out of doing anything risky and is more inclined to maintain the status quo. Paralysis by analysis sinks in. A Keen and Thoughtful Curiosity About People and the World Now you may be thinking, Sure, twentysomethings have the passion and the courage to make big decisions, but theyll probably make the wrong ones, because theyre naive and impulsive! Better to wait until youre older. And its true that researchers have found that sometimes the reward-seeking adolescent brain does make more reckless decisions, like choosing to engage in binge drinking or unsafe sex. But thats typically because of social pressure (the young adult brain is also more sensitive to the judgment of their peers). Researchers have actually found that in other, less peer-driven and heated situations, when a reward is at stake, a young adultdesires to get something right, and will actually take longer to decide, and gather more information before doing so, than adults. Which means, researchers say, that there are scenarios where adolescents will potentially make better decisions than grownups. The sensitive reward centers of the adolescent brain not only motivate the process of gathering and pondering information, they also facilitate the learning of new information, which is why adolescents (when it comes to a subject they enjoy, anyway) can find studying more pleasurable and satisfying than adults. All this makes sense: who spends more time willingly examining questions like whats the true religion and whats the best political philosophy college students or their parents? The latter often cannot be bothered, while the former cant get enough of delving into lifes big questions. Because of the sensitive reward system of the adolescent brain, things that feel like drudgery to grownups, like seeking truth, are deeply rewarding to young adults.

Taking Advantage of the Tripartite Powers of the Twentysomething Brain

I like to think of things like starting your own business, landing your dream job, getting married, committing to a faith, and even catalyzing a cultural or political movement, as akin to traveling to space. Once your rocket leaves the earths atmosphere, it can orbit there

indefinitely. But to reach outer space in the first place, you need a huge, powerful force in the form of rocket thrusters in order to overcome the earths strong gravitational pull. Well, your twentysomething brain is that rocket thruster. Twentysomethings are less daunted by unknown risks, and become more motivated and thoughtful by the prospect of reward, while adults are the opposite. During your twenties, youre passionate and ready to learn, and your greater tolerance for risk pushes you to act on that passion and knowledge. Unfortunately, your brains rockets fuel is leaking out as you approach thirty. The time for lift off is now.

Why Your Parents Are Such Squares

Now you finally have an explanation to an observation you probably made growing up: Man, my parents are so boring. They dont seem to ponder deep things or be that passionate about anything. They always stick to their routine and are still listening to the same music they did in college! Ill never end up like that. You probably thought their steady lameness was a function of their actively deciding to settle, or the result of the way their responsibilities had worn them down. These things are certainly factors in Adult Boring Disorder (ABD). But its also because of changes in their brains, changes that will happen to you, too. Most adults are so boring and risk-averse and dont experience life as intensely because the sensitivity of the reward centers in their brains have dulled and their mature prefrontal corti have put the lid on their emotional passions. Your parents musical tastes ended in college (at least this is my personal theory on the matter) because music doesnt produce the same intense, penetrating emotional reaction that it did in their adolescence (You gotta hear this song!) so it doesnt hold their interest as much. Now it seems to me the frontal cortex/limbic system balance varies from individual to individual artists and other sensitive types seem to maintain a little more of the emotional intensity of youth, and of course some devoted listeners do stay passionate about music their whole lives through. Plenty of people strive to maintain their curiosity and sense of adventure throughout their lifetime as well so dont get me wrong youre definitely not destined to become a totally lame-o adult. But after the prefrontal cortex finishes maturing, everybodymellows out, to one degree or the other. In some ways, this mellowing of ones intensity seems like a real loss. People have often wondered why so many talented musicians have died from suicide or drug overdose at age 27 (the so-called Forever 27 Club). Musicians often produce some of their best songs early in their career songs they wrote in their youth that were fueled by the emotional intensity of their adolescent brain. Twenty-seven is right around the time the frontal cortex would finish

maturing. Is it possible the drop off in the intensity that once fueled their creativity and the emotion of their songwriting creates a deep despondency in artists? Maybe. Just a personal theory of mine. But heres the good news not only will the completion of your brain development not make the vast majority of us suicidal, youll in fact experience it as a good feeling and positive change! You can actually feel it happening. There will be a time around your midtwenties when you notice a change in yourself. You start to notice that you feel more stable, more steady, more secure. Youll think about the drama in your life just a few years prior and wonder what you were thinking you will feel like youve changed a lot since then and would now handle things much differently than you did then. When you feel this, youll know your prefrontal cortex has finished maturing. The pre- and post-stages of the limbic-to-prefrontal-cortex shift in power are neither bad nor good; each has powers suited to a different stage in life. In your twenties, when youre making big, important moves and decisions, you need emotion and intensity to spur you to study and ponder lifes big questions, and the strong motivation to take risks, venture out, and make commitments. Then, in your thirties and beyond, you need confident steadiness to overcome your counterproductive impulses and mood swings, and to build the things you launched in your twenties to grow your business, expand your movement, head a family. The trick is simply to take advantage of each power in the season it is given: The twenties are for launching, while the thirties are for building what you launched.

Conclusion
Todays post highlighted some of the unique powers of the twentysomething brain namely its propensity for deep passion, fearlessness in the face of risk, and a keen curiosity about others and the world. But what kinds of things should you channel these powers towards? Tomorrow well discuss the second once-in-a-lifetime opportunity offered by the twentysomething brain the chance to train the builder to whom you will be handing over the reins once the launch of your start-up is complete.

Dont Waste Your 20s Part 2: Train Your Brain for Lasting Success

by Brett & Kate McKay February 5, 2013

In Part I of this two-part series we explored the first once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of the twentysomething brain: its propensity for deep passion, a keen curiosity about others and the world, and fearlessness in the face of risk. But these qualities are only advantages if theyre used in the way they were designed: as the motivation to take intentional, forwardlooking ventures ones that lead to greater learning experiences, personal development, and independence. Taking a risk to see what its like to shotgun a beer wont get you any closer to your ideal future. Rather, at the same time youre launching your passions, you should also be taking advantage of the second great opportunity of the twentysomething brain: the chance to take an active role in shaping the development of the executive part of your mind. If your twenties are for launching, and your thirties are for building, then this is the opportunity to train your builder, the prefrontal CEO to which youll be handing over the reins to your start-up post-twenties. Moving from your twenties to your thirties is indeed very much like launching a company that you know youre eventually going to leave; at the same time that youre getting things going, you also need to train the guy whos eventually going to take your place, giving him the skills and abilities hell need to steer the ship once youre gone. The quality of this training will greatly determine the future success of the endeavor, i.e., the rest of your life.

Synaptic Pruning in the Orchard of Your Brain

Yesterday we talked about a hugely important process happening in your brain in your twenties thats crucial for young adults to understand: the simultaneous revving up of the intense, emotional, risk-taking limbic system, and the maturation of the steady, rational, impulse-checking prefrontal cortex. But how exactly does the prefrontal cortex mature? The majority of our brain development happens in two stages: overproduction and pruning. First, the brain overproduces millions of synapses, more than it could ever use it overprepares for whats to come. Then it organizes and prunes this abundance of neural pathways, getting rid of those not in use and strengthening and stabilizing those that are much like an arborist prunes dead branches off a tree. It has long been known that this overproduction/pruning process occurs during an infants first eighteen months of life. The brain ramps up production of cells to prepare the tot for learning an enormous amount of information about language and the world around him in a short period of time. After age three, it begins slowly pruning away the pathways not in use, so that the human brain is 95% developed by age six.

What scientists have more recently discovered is that a second round of overproduction and synaptic pruning begins in adolescence and extends into a persons mid-twenties. This time, the brains overproduction of synapses is not centered on things a baby needs to know like language and motor skills, but rather on the abilities essential to navigating adulthood rational thought, reasoning, impulse control, goal-setting, and planning. Synaptic pruning is the process through which the maturation of the prefontal cortex actually happens the way in which you train your CEO.

Use It or Lose It
So how exactly does synaptic pruning work? While the completion of the prefrontal cortexs maturation will happen for everyone, not everyones corti will set in the same way. The development of your brain is not simply shaped by age, but also very much by experience. Your brain does not prune its excess synapses in a willy-nilly fashion. What gets retained and what withers away is determined by what gets utilized and what is allowed to lie fallow. As Meg Jay, author of The Defining Decade explains: In a use-it-or-lose-it fashion, the frontal lobe connections we use are preserved and quickened; those we dont use just waste away through pruning. We become what we hear and see and do every day. We dont become what we dont hear and see and do every day. In neuroscience, this is known as survival of the busiest. Or as neuroscientist Dr. Jay Giedd puts it: If a teen [or twentysomething] is doing music or sports or academics, those are the cells and connections that will be hardwired. If theyre lying on the couch or playing video games or watching MTV, those are the cells and connections that are going to survive. Basically, what this means is that the education, experiences, and relationships you choose to pursue in your twenties will determine the course of your brains synaptic pruning process. This means you need to be intentional about tuning your prefrontal cortex for optimal performance in the decades to come! What training do you want give to your prefrontal CEO? What skills and abilities do you want to train your brain to deftly perform for the rest of your life? Some folks downplay the importance of the twenties by saying its simply a dress rehearsal for whats to come. But if thats the case, you need to ask yourself what role it is youre preparing to play. If youre eventually hoping to nab the role of loving, loyal husband, does rehearsing by having only casual hookups prepare you for that? If youre hoping to win the

part of independent business owner, what kind of practice are you getting for that role right now?

Strike While the Iron Is Hot, and the Metal Is Pliable

This final development of your brain is akin to getting a wiring upgrade after its completed, the prefrontal cortex will run faster and more efficiently. But what you gain in speed, you lose in flexibility. This makes the period before the wiring job is complete a time of enormous opportunity. While your brain is still flexible and malleable, you can and must take an active role in shaping how the wire is laid. Never again will it be so easy to shape yourself, learn new things, and become the man you want to be. Now dont get me wrong, brains are plastic throughout our lives. We can always change our habits and behaviors, whether were 20 or 60. But once the adolescent brain finishes developing and sets, changing our course becomes harder to do. The plastic of the adolescent brain is more malleable, while the plastic of the older brain is of a harder variety it takes more kneading and heat to mold it. Or think of it this way: up through your mid-twenties, molding your behavior is like making trails through a grassy field. Once your brain is finished developing, it will want to take the path of least resistance the trails youve already made, the neural pathways that youve already forged. Creating a new trail, post-twenties, will mean hacking a path through a field that has transformed from gentle grass into a dense, weedy jungle that requires a great deal more effort to plow through. Its doable, but difficult. Throughout adolescence and into the mid-twenties, gray matter is pruned as neural pathways not in use atrophy, while those being utilized are consolidated and organized more efficiently. As the graphic alludes to, addictions that begin in adolescence get wired into the brain as it sets, making them hard to shake off in adulthood. This is why researchers have found that after age thirty, your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and personality become relatively fixed and stable. There actually isnt much debate among experts on this point: some say almost no changes are possible after thirty, while other say smallchanges are, and thats about the extent of the divide in viewpoints. What they all agree on is that the majority of who you are is crystallized by age thirty, and as Jay explains, Our personalities change more during the twentysomething years than at any time before or after. In our thirties, we simply continue with, or correct for, the moves we made during our twentysomething years. The reason there are thirtysomething men (and women) who are still head-scratchingly immature, is that they figured they could spend their twenties drifting and partying and then one day when they turned thirty things would magically come together for them and theyd

be ready to shift into another gear. But when their brains set the plastic hardened the things that were going on in their lives at the time waking up on someone elses floor and working at Starbucks had been etched into their corti. If you dont want to be the guy whos living like hes twenty-three at age forty-four (even when he himself is tired of that life and is ready for a different stage) sculpt your prefrontal cortex in your twenties by seeking out experiences and commitments that will exercise and challenge your ability to plan, set goals, and discipline yourself. Stretching yourself now will solidify the best neural pathways, strengthen and season your prefontal cortex, and create a cognitive foundation thats prepared not simply for a few years of fun, but for a lifetime of happiness and satisfaction.

Dont Waste Your Twenties

Understanding more about how the brain works shows that contrary to the idea that these years are disposable and inconsequential, the pursuits you undertake, the relationships you form, and the decisions you make during this decade can in fact have an enormous, outsized impact on who you become and how the rest of your life turns out. This knowledge, coupled with an understanding of the special powers of the twentysomething brain we discussed last time, has hopefully convinced you that thirty is the new twenty is indeed a bunch of baloney. People who tell you: Dont worry. Youve got all the time in the world, may mean well, but are wrong the twenties are not interchangeable with every other decade to come. They are certainly not disposable. Your twenties truly represent a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. A confluence of factors creates a powerful, but short window of time, and you owe it to yourself to make the very most of it. But what does that mean? Must you forego exploring and adventure in your twenties and settle down as soon as possible? Hardly. Your twenties are in fact the perfect time for adventure and exploration, but the experiences you choose should have an element of intentionality. They should not only let you see and try new things, but also broaden your horizons, impact your character, and help you learn and grow. Seek experiences that both harness your passions and exercise and stretch the executive faculties of your mind. Theres room in your twenties for a season working the ski lift at a resort, but you should also make room for a season of leading troubled teens on wilderness expeditions. Theres a place in your twenties for an aimless backpacking trip through Europe, but there also needs to be a place for a well-building mission to Africa. Its a good time to date, but its also an ideal time to get hitched.

Basically, the more of your pursuits that point, however indirectly, towards your end goals, the better. Its not that you must complete all your goals in your twenties. When I say the twenties are the perfect time for launching big things, launching does not mean finishing it meansbeginning. While I started off the last post by listing some of the notable accomplishments made by men in their early twenties, I did so in order to showcase the vast, and often overlooked potential of young men. But just as telling as that kind of list is one that shows the things twentysomething men were doing that didnt bring them immediate success, but put them on the path towards it: At age 20: Plato became a disciple of Socrates, This relationship paved the way for Plato to develop new ways of thinking that would eventually become cornerstones of Western thought. At age 21: Jack London set sail for the Klondike with the first rush of gold-seekers. His adventure in the North would create the fodder for many of his most popular articles and books. At age 22: Charles Darwin signed on as the HMS Beagles naturalist for a five-year voyage to South America and the Galapagos Islands. Although his father had told him not to go, saying it would be a waste of time, the copious notes and observations Darwin made and the collection of specimens he gathered on the journey would lead him to develop his theory of evolution. At age 25: Future mythologist Joseph Campbell rented a shack in Woodstock, NY and engaged in rigorous and intensive independent study, reading the classics for nine hours a day, for five years straight. At age 26: Johnny Appleseed brought apple seeds to the Ohio Valley. Yes, he was literally planting seeds in his twenties. At age 27: Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. quit his job at General Electric to become a full-time writer and Henry David Thoreau went off for two years to live alone in a cabin at Walden Pond. The twenties are not about checking off all of your goals, but rather creating a foundation that will allow you to build towards them for the rest of your life. As Jay puts it: Theres a big difference between having a life in your thirties and starting a life in your thirties.Starting your life and creating a solid foundation involves seeking education, experiences, and pursuits that align with your goals, challenge you, and thus produce what is called identity capital. Identity capital includes resume entries like degrees and jobs and volunteer work, but also our people skills, the ability to be resilient in the face of setbacks, the ability to solve problems under stress, and an understanding of culture, the world, and human nature. Studies have shown, Jay writes, that Twentysomethings who take the time to

explore and also have the nerve to make commitments along the way construct stronger identities. These identities are associated with higher self-esteem, perseverance, realistic expectations, a clearer sense of self, greater life satisfaction, better stress management, stronger reasoning, and resistance to conformity. All qualities that will stand you in good stead no matter where lifes journey takes you. Identity capital acts as the currency of careers and relationships; the more you accumulate the richer you become, and the more and more doors you can open as you move into your thirties and the rest of your life.

Wait Brett! Im Over Thirty and This Series Has Seriously Bummed Me Out! Is There No Hope for Me?
I definitely noticed that were quite a few comments on the first post to the effect of: Well, this is depressing. I wish I had read this earlier in my life. Now its too late for me. Cheer up ye thirty and fortysomethings (or ye spry, tech-savvy seventysomethings). This series was designed to inspire guys in their twenties to gain an understanding of how much potential this decade of their life holds, and that it should be taken full advantage of. But I dont want older folks to walk away from this feeling like theres no hope for them and theyll just have to settle for wherever they are in life. I do truly believe that the twenties are the ideal time to make important decisions, start big things, and make commitments the unique but waning properties of the adolescent brain make it easier to do so than it will ever be again. But doing big things and making changes post-twenties isnt impossible, its just harder. There are plenty of examples from history of men who made their greatest contribution to society later in life (we plan to put together a list of these late bloomers one of these days as well as cover steps you can take to turn things around). I also know several regular Joes who turned their lives around after 30 after spending their 20s drifting and now lead happy, fulfilling, and successful lives. For the disciplined and the dedicated, the gate to greatness is always open. So to sum up: if youre a youngin, I beseech you to strike while the iron is hot and not let the opportunity of your twenties slip away. And if youre a little longer in the tooth, dont wish for what could have been, but push forward with your might. No matter what your age, a strong and wise captain can always turn the ship around.