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INT. PACKED THEATRE - NIGHT.Tim Minchin is coming to the end of a brilliant piano solo.CHLOESquee!ALEXA EXTRASWe want more! We want more! We wantmore!Tracey lurks in the backgroundTIMI need to get away from thesemultitudes of fangirls!Tim jumps in a taxi to make a quick getaway.CHLOECome back! I have wine for you!*flings*Chloe thinks for a moment, stroking an imaginary goatee.CHLOEWeeblackpirateninjakittehs, trackhim down....WEEBLACKNINJAPIRATEKITTEHSMew.Everyone leaves.SHRIEKING SHACKDamn. Am I too late to be in thescene?EXT. A CRAGGY MOUNTAIN SOMEWHERE IN SCOTLAND - EARLY MORNINGTim is making his way across the countryside. Needless tosay he is looking wonderful.TIMAh, it’s good to get away from allof those fangirls. Although the onewith the wine did seem rather nice.It’ll be good to have some peaceand quiet.(CONTINUED)
 
CONTINUED: 2.STEREOTYPICAL AUSSIE TOURIST SOFIEG’day mate! Would you like a shrimpon the barbie!?TIMErr.STEREOTYPICAL AUSSIE TOURIST SOFIEHey, you look kinda weird...do youhave a few Kangaroos loose in thetop paddock?Tim just looks at her.STEREOTYPICAL AUSSIE TOURIST SOFIEI’m abso-bloody-lutely pooped. Mindif I rest here with you for awhile? I’ve got a really good jokeabout a Kiwi and a Pom! Hey, do youlike my cork hat!Tim runs.EXT. A FEW MILES BEHIND AT THE SAME TIME.The weeblackpirateninjakittehs are slowly gaining on Tim.WEEBLACKPIRATENINJAKITTEHSMew.Tracey lurks.The Shrieking Shack is puffing along, far in the distance,desperate to be included in a scene.INT. AN ATMOSPHERIC CAVE - DAY, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE NIGHT.A Soothsayer is reclining on a mossy bed and saying wisestuff.SOOTHSAYER DENISEA smooth sea never made a skilledmariner.......A candle losesnothing by lighting anothercandle......Always look on thebright side of life*whistles*.....Do what you can,with what you have, where youare....
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