James Kensey's mom attempted suicide for the first time when he was 5 years old. He found her sitting in the bathtub, waste high in water and still wearing her bath robe. She was holding their telephone which had just started ringing.“Jimmy-boy,” she spoke calmly, “what are you doing in here?”“Mommy the phone is ringing.”They remained, frozen in silence; neither daring enough to answer the phone. Finally it stoppedringing. In her mind, James' mom replayed the scenario of just letting go. Just dropping the phone.After all, she's so close, she's already come this far. It won't matter what happens, expect just maybe, itmight not work. It might not do anything.“Mommy I'm hungry.”“James, baby, can you call Aunt Denise?” His mother asked as she handed him the phone. “Doyou remember how to do that? Tell her mommy needs help.”From then on, that was the code for when James' mom would need to go back to the hospital.That and when she would call him Jimmy-boy. “Jimmy-boy, I think you should give your Aunt Denisea call.” Here it goes again. Another month or so with the insufferable Aunt Denise.Both women were rather cold to James. The main difference being that his aunt chain smokedand didn't care for cooking and that his mother had an obligation to take care of him, at least a legalobligation. Those months, James subsided on Hungry Man and Hot Pockets. The microwave was theonly appliance that got much usage. Sometimes the stove would be used and James would be treated toa meal of Velvetta mac & cheese.Aunt Denise would smoke inside. She never believed in opening windows.“Cold air is bad for your lungs,” she would ramble on to the boy, “it hardens them, makes itharder to breath. I knew people that spent all night outside and they choked to death. Don't you forgetthat boy. And don't you go off opening any windows and killing off your Aunt Denise. Then there will be no one to take care of you.”
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