Thinksmart Participant Worksheets and Handouts

Session 1

Introduction to the Course

This course has been designed to help you to help yourself. The activity sheets and discussion topics will provide you with the opportunity to explore different aspects of want in your life. Here are some important points to keep in mind as you make a start: We all have the ability to solve problems and to make effective changes in our lives. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of how to do this. Change of any sort affects us on all levels. For example, a change in the way that you think about a certain situation can lead to changes in how you feel physically and in how you behave in that situation. When you feel stuck, if you take note of what the whole of you is feeling, thinking and sensing then you are likely to come up with some creative solutions to your difficulties. A programme of this type can help you to feel more in control of your life and to enjoy more fulfilling relationships, solve problems more effectively, and feel better about yourself. Remember thinking smartly is a great way to start to think and feel better about yourself! how you think, feel and behave, then help you make the changes that you

Session 1

Remembering Names
Names are an important part of who we are. You may have chosen to shorten your name or use a nickname to reflect how you would like to be known. Remembering other peoples names is an important skill and there are many techniques that can help you do this. One is to link the persons name with something else an object, something they like doing, a colour they like to wear and so on. For each person in the group, note down something that will help you to remember his or her name. Name Memory aid

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Getting to Know the Group

Find as many people as possible in the group who can agree with the following statements. Write their names in the space provided. Statement I own a mobile phone People that agree

I have a pet

I enjoy watching sport

I have seen one of my favourite films more than three times I like spicy food

I got the bus here today

I have an unusual hobby

I dont like chocolate

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Being Part of a Group

Throughout life most of us have the chance to be part of many different groups, including family, school, work, sport and friendship groups. You may feel more comfortable in some types of groups than others and you will have developed certain ways of being and thinking about yourself in relation to different groups. It is important to recognise that you have some choice about this. How I normally cope with groups How I would like to be in this group

What I believe I can contribute

What would help me to feel most comfortable in this group

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Confidentiality
Confidentiality means that what we talk about in the group is special to us and we wont tell anyone outside the group. Its OK for you to talk to your own family and friends about what you do and say in the group if you want to, but remember, what others say is private. If you tell the group facilitators anything that makes them think that you are not safe outside the group or that you are in danger they will have to talk to someone outside the group who can help protect you. But they will try to tell you what they are doing and why. The most important thing is that you are safe. Please think about the rules you would like to have in your group to feel safe. Our group rules about Confidentiality are:

I agree to keep to the group rules and to stick to the confidentiality agreement.
Signature:__________________________________________

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Activity 1: Who am I?
Something important about me Physical features

Personality

Beliefs

Talents and skills

Things I enjoy

Things I dislike

Important events

Important people

Important places

Difficulties I have overcome

Hopes/ambitions

Anything else?

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Activity 2: Character Sketch

Imagine that you are writing a script for a play about your life. How would you describe yourself in a character sketch? Write as though you are your own best friend, someone who knows you better than anyone else and is supporting and understanding of the true you. Start with your name. _________________________________ is...

Activity 3: My House
Sensation Smoke
(how do I feel?)

Session 1

Behaviour Birds
(how do I act?)

(what rules do I believe?)

Roof of Rules

(what do I worry about?)

Chimney of Fears

1. 2. 3.

1. 2. 3.

Window of Truth
1.
(my beliefs)

Window of Truth
(my beliefs)

Window of Truth Doorbell

(my trigger)

2.

3.

(my beliefs)

Yellow Brick Road

(my early experiences)

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Group goals and objectives.

At the end of the course I would like to:

1.__________________________________________________

2.__________________________________________________

3.___________________________________________________

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Session 1

Home Activity 1: Personal Checklist

Shade in the boxes to show how much each of these statements is true for you.
I have a strong sense of who I am I am very aware of how I behave in different ways according to the situation I am in I can usually see things from other peoples perspectives I have a good understanding of how different relationships work I am usually realistic about how I think others view me I am able to be independent and self-reliant

I am able to be in a relationship without feeling swamped or overwhelmed by the other person I understand my emotions and why I feel the way I do in different situations I believe that I am a likeable and worthwhile person I can tolerate my own mistakes I know how to relax and enjoy myself

I am respectful and tolerant of other peoples views

I feel in control of how I express my emotions I recognise areas that I find difficult and may want to work on I like and respect myself I am self-motivated. I tend not to worry too much what others might think of me I believe that I let other people see who I really am through my words and actions I believe that my options, thoughts and actions have value

I am able to distinguish my feelings from those of others I can accept constructive criticism from others I feel OK about my physical appearance I am able to adjust my actions, feelings and thoughts according to realistic assessments of my progress I am usually able to listen well to what others have to say I am confident enough in my own abilities to be able to try different ways of solving problems I cope well with unexpected events

I am able to acknowledge my own strengths I am assertive in the way that I deal with unjustified criticism from others I take good care of myself I believe that I have mastery over my life

I enjoy new challenges

I enjoy talking to new people

I consider myself to be a creative person

I am generally optimistic

I tend not to dwell on past events or worry about the future

I regularly set myself realistic yet challenging goals

I believe that I am capable of fulfilling my potential

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Home Activity 2: Rosenberg Self Esteem Scale (SES)

Please read the following statements and shade the box that best describes how much you agree or disagree with each one
Strongly Agree On the whole, I am satisfied with myself 3 0 3 3 0 0 3 0 0 Agree Disagree Strongly Disagree 0 3 0 0 3 3 0 3 3

2 1 2 2 1 1 2 1 1

1 2 1 1 2 2 1 2 2

At times, I think I am no good at all I feel that I have a number of good qualities I am able to do things as well as most other people I feel I do not have much to be proud of I feel useless at times I feel that I should be valued and I am equal to others I wish I could have more respect for myself I often think I am a failure I take a positive attitude toward myself

Add up the total number of points in the shaded boxes to get your final score:
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Session2

The Magic Circle

Thinksmart aims to help you discover helpful ways of dealing with your problems. It is based on something called cognitive behaviour theory (CBT). Cognitive refers to what you think; behaviour is about what you do. According to this theory what you think about things affects how you feel and what you do:

What you think

What you do

How you feel

We will find out more about this link, but here are some examples to help you understand how it works: Thinking that you are not very good at talking to people may make you feel very worried or anxious when you are out with your friends. You may go quiet and not talk very much. Thinking that no one likes you may make you feel sad. You may stay at home on your own. Thinking that you never get things right may make you feel angry. You may give up trying because you think itll be wrong. Thinksmart will help you realise that sometimes you may not see the whole picture, and maybe only look at one side of the story usually the bit that hasnt quite gone right. Often, you may not even realise what you are doing. It has become part of everyday life and it can be very difficult to see any way out, or to think about how things could be different.

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What You Think

Our minds are always busy. As soon as one thought passes through, another arrives to take its place. We are constantly thinking about all sorts of things. Many of our thoughts are describing things that are going on around us. Others will be about ourselves. These might be about the way we see ourselves: Im fat I have lots of friends Ive got a bad temper These might be about how we judge what we do: Im hopeless at organising myself Im good at sports Im pretty good at making friends They might describe our view of the future: No one will ever want to go out with me Ill never get to university Ill be a millionaire by the time Im thirty

How You Feel

As we have begun to see, the way in which we think affects how we feel. Our thoughts will result in many different feelings. Positive or nice thoughts often produce pleasant feelings. The thought Im really looking forward to that party may make you feel happy. The thought Although we lost I played really well may make you feel pleased. The thought I look quite nice in these clothes may make you feel relaxed. At other times we may have more negative thoughts, and these often produce unpleasant feelings: The thought I bet no one will turn up to my party may make you feel anxious. The thought We lost again we will never win may make you feel angry or sad.
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The thought I dont like these clothes may make you feel worried and unhappy. Many of these feelings will not be strong and will not last for very long. You may not even notice them. At other times, these unpleasant feelings take over. They become very strong and seem to last. The unpleasant feelings people notice most often are those of stress, unhappiness and anger.

What You Do
If these feelings last or become very strong, they start to have an effect on what you do. We like to feel good, so we usually try to do more of those things that make us feel good and less of those things that make us feel unpleasant. If you feel anxious when talking to other people, you may avoid going out or turn down invitations to meet up and do things with your friends. When you stay on your own you may feel more relaxed. If you feel sad or unhappy at school, you may stop going. You may feel happier when you stay at home. If you feel angry when people criticise your work, you may give up trying so hard. There are lots of ways in which your thoughts and feelings can affect what you do. You may notice that you: give up and stop doing things avoid situations that might be difficult become reluctant to try new things It would seem that these changes prove that our thoughts were right all along!
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Difficulty in concentrating would prove the thought that I will never pass these exams Staying at home would prove the thought that No one likes me I havent got any friends Finding it difficult to sleep or putting on weight would prove the thoughts that I look a wreck and No one would want to go out with me Can we look at this again? You may be caught in a trap. You may only be looking for evidence to support your negative thoughts. You may have found it difficult to concentrate today you didnt sleep very well last night. Usually you sleep better, and when you have had a good nights sleep you are able to concentrate. You may have stayed at home last night, but you have arranged to go out with your friends tomorrow. You may have gained 2 kg but does that really make such a big difference to how you look? Your favourite clothes still fit well. Thoughts may magically come true because you are only looking for evidence that supports them. Is it possible that you are only seeing one side of the story? Sometimes by becoming more aware of our thoughts and feelings, we can start to see how the things we do are affected by our thoughts and feelings. This is the first step to changing our behaviour.

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Session2

Activity 1: The Magic Circle

Think of a situation where you felt happy.
What were you thinking?

What did you do?

How did you feel?

Think of a situation where you felt sad or angry.

What were you thinking?

What did you do?

How did you feel?

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Session2

Home Activity: My Thought Diary

Throughout the week note down in your thought diary three experiences you have had Try to give examples of both a good and bad experience Think about what happened in these situations and what you thought and felt at the time You dont need to write lots, just jot down a few notes!

Day & Time

Situation
Where were you? Who were you with? What happened?

Thoughts
What were you thinking?

Feelings
How were you feeling?

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Session 3

Thinking Errors
We have begun to see that some of our hot automatic thoughts are not helpful. They may make us feel unpleasant or prevent us from doing things. The problem with negative automatic thoughts is that they continue to go round and round in our heads and we seldom stop to challenge or question them. In fact, we do the opposite the more we hear them, the more we believe them, and the more we look for evidence or select things to prove them. These are thinking errors. There are six common types of thinking errors that we make.

1. The Downers
With these types of errors we focus only on the negative things that happen. We only see the things that go wrong or that arent right. Anything positive is overlooked, disbelieved or thought to be unimportant. There are two common types of downers:

Negative glasses
Negative glasses only let you see one part of what happens the negative part! If you have a good time, or if nice things happen, the negative glasses will still find the things that went wrong or werent quite good enough. It is these negative things that you notice and remember most. You may have had a really good day out with your friends, but at lunchtime your favourite cafe was full. When you are asked whether you had a good time, you reply No, we couldnt get into the cafe.

Positive doesnt count

With this thinking error, anything positive is dismissed as unimportant or else discredited. The person who hears that a boy or girl wants to go out with them may think: They probably cant find anyone else to go out with.
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Doing well in a maths test may be discounted as you think: But it was easy we learned all that last year.

2. Blowing things up
The second type of thinking errors are those when negative things are blown up and become bigger than they really are. This happens in three main ways:

All-or-nothing thinking
Everything is seen in all-or-nothing terms. It is either boiling hot or freezing cold, and there doesnt seem to be anything in between. You may have a disagreement with your best friend and think to yourself: Thats it youre not my friend any more. If you fall short of perfect, then you see yourself as a total failure. Getting 72% in a maths test may cause someone to think I never get anything right Im going to give up maths.

Magnifying the negative

With this thinking error, the importance of things that happen is exaggerated. Negative events are magnified and blown up out of all proportion. I forgot his name and everyone was looking at me and laughing at me I dropped my book and the whole class was watching me

Snowballing
With this thinking error, a single event or upset snowballs and quickly grows into a never-ending pattern of defeat. The first grey cloud in the sky becomes evidence of an approaching thunderstorm. Not being picked for the sports team could result in thoughts such as Im no good at sports, I cant understand maths, I just cant do anything.
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3. Predicting failure
Another type of thinking error is about what we expect will happen. These types of errors often predict failure and make us expect the worse. This can happen in two main ways:

The mind-reader
With this thinking error, the person thinks that they know what everyone else is thinking. I know she doesnt like me. I bet everyone is laughing at me.

The fortune-teller
With this thinking error, the person thinks that they know what will happen. If we go out, Ill end up sitting on my own. I know Im not going to be able to do this work.

4. Feeling thoughts
With this thinking error our emotions become very strong and cloud the way in which we actually think and see things. depends on how we feel, not on what actually happens. What we think

Emotional reasoning
Because you feel bad, sad and down, then you assume that everything else is, too. Your emotions take over and colour the way in which you think.

Dustbin labels
You attach a label to yourself and think of everything you do in these terms.
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Session 3

Im just a loser Its me, Im just hopeless Im rubbish

5. Setting yourself up to fail

This error is about the standards and expectations that we set ourselves. Often our targets are too high, and we never seem to achieve them. We set ourselves up to fail. We become very aware of our failings and the things we have not done. These thoughts often start with words such as: I should I must I shouldnt I cant They result in us setting impossible standards, which we cant achieve.

6. Blame me!
At other times we feel responsible for the negative things that happen, even though we have no control over them. Everything that goes wrong is down to us! As soon as I got on the bus, it broke down. If your friend doesnt see you and walks past without talking to you, you may think I must have said something to upset him. Remember! It is important to remember that everyone makes these errors at some stage. The problem starts when they happen regularly and Activity 1: The Negative Trap you can or want to do in your life.
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when they prevent you from making real choices about the things

Session 3

Confirm your failure

Negative thoughts

Feels disinterested & unmotivated

Create doubts/ worries

Affect what you do

Produce unpleasant feelings

Make you feel sad, depressed, anxious and uptight

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Session 3

Sams Negative Trap

My exam went really badly Im going to fail my exam

I cant be bothered to revise if Im going to fail anyway

Im never going to get into Uni and my family will think Im a failure

Im not in the mood to go to school or do any work

I dont like myself for letting my family down

I feel upset and tearful thinking about it

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Session 3

My Negative Trap

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Session 3

Activity 2: What Are They Thinking?

Look at the pictures of young people in different scenarios. Imagine you are in their position. What would their automatic thoughts be?

Failing an essay

Having fun with friends

Seeing a younger child being bullied

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What Are They Thinking?

Doing your favourite hobby

Being given a present

Being left out by friends

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Session 3

Home Activity: What Thinking Errors Do You Make? The downers

1. How often do you find yourself looking for the bad things that happen? Never Sometimes Often All of the time 2. How often do you find yourself looking for the things that go wrong or which arent quite good enough? Never Sometimes Often All of the time 3. How often do you ignore or overlook the positive or good things that happen? Never Sometimes Often All of the time 4. How often do you play down the positive or good things that happen? Never Sometimes Often All of the time

Blowing things up
1. How often do you find yourself all-or-nothing thinking? Never Sometimes Often All of the time

2. How often do you magnify or blow up the things that go wrong? Never Sometimes Often All of the time

3. How often do single negative events seem to snowball into something bigger? Never Sometimes Often All of the time

Predicting failure
1. How often do you think you know what other people are thinking about you? Never Sometimes Often All of the time

2. How often do you expect things to go wrong? Never Sometimes Often All of the time

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Feeling thoughts
1. How often do you think that you are a stupid or bad person? Never Sometimes Often All of the time

2. How often do you think that you are a loser who can never do anything right? Never Sometimes Often All of the time

Setting yourself up to fail

1. How often do you think that things are not good enough unless they are perfect? Never Sometimes Often All of the time

2. How often do you find yourself thinking that you should do this or that? Never Sometimes Often All of the time

3. How often do you find yourself saying I must? Never Sometimes Often All of the time

Blame me!
1. How often do you blame yourself for the things that happen or go wrong? Never Sometimes Often All of the time

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Session 4

Balanced Thinking
Often we become stuck in a negative trap and find ourselves making the same thinking errors time and time again. The more we make these errors, the more we believe our negative thoughts and the harder it becomes to challenge them and see things in a different way. In order to break out of this cycle, we have to learn to identify and challenge our negative thoughts. By doing this we shall be able to gain a more balanced view of what is going on. Until you get used to doing it, balanced thinking can be hard. The following questions might be helpful:

Q. What evidence is there to support this thought? Q. What evidence is there to question this thought? Q. What would my best friend/teacher/parent say if they heard me
thinking in this way?

Q. What would I say to my best friend if he or she had this thought? Q. Am I making any thinking errors?
Think back to the previous session on negative thinking and ask yourself:

Q. Am I having a downer on myself and forgetting my strengths? Q. Am I blowing things up? Q. Am I predicting failure (mind-reader or fortune-teller)?
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Q. Are these feeling thoughts (emotional reasoning and dustbin

labels)?

Q. Am I setting myself up to fail? Q. Am I blaming myself for the things that have gone wrong?
Our thoughts have to be realistic. Otherwise we would be fooling ourselves into thinking that everything is problem free and this just isnt the case.

Remember! Balanced thinking is not about rationalising your thoughts. Balanced thinking is not about seeing everything positively. Balanced thinking is about looking for new information that you might otherwise overlook.

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Session 4

Abbies story
Abbie becomes very anxious and fearful whenever she goes out of her house. She has lots of negative thoughts about what will happen, and these make her feel very anxious. Abbie decided to try coping and positive self-talk when she next went out. Instead of listening to her negative doubts and worries, she decided to think differently. Before she went out she used her coping self-talk. Abbie said to herself, Im going to do this today, it will be alright. I have been out before and everything was OK. Im feeling relaxed, Im in charge and I want to go out. As Abbie walked down the road, she used her positive self-talk, with comments such as, Thats good, Im halfway there, I knew I could do it and Its going OK and I know Im going to do it. Abbie kept repeating these thoughts to herself until she returned home. After Abbie arrived home she remembered to congratulate herself and thought, Well done, that wasnt so bad after all. She then treated herself to a long, relaxing bubble bath.

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Session 4

Activity 1: Jamies Day

Read through the story of Jamies day together. Discuss the good and bad points of his day. Using a whiteboard, take it in turns to brainstorm the positive and negative things that happened to him during the day. Did the positive parts of the day make up for the bad points? At the end of his day do you think Jamie would describe the glass as being half full or half empty? Jamie woke up and looked at his clock. He had overslept; it was 8.30am! Hurriedly, he leapt out of bed and threw on his school uniform. He was really hungry but didnt have time to eat breakfast. He grabbed his school bag and lunch and ran out of the door. Jamie was running so fast along the pavement to school that he tripped over a large crack and went sprawling. He felt a sharp pain and peered down at his bleeding knees. Limping, he tried to hurry the rest of the way, but his knees were hurting so much that they slowed him down. The head teacher was walking across the empty school yard when Jamie arrived at school, and she shouted at him to hurry up as he was very late. Jamie felt scared, as he hated getting told off by the head teacher, and wondered if he would get into trouble. Mrs Rogers, Jamies form tutor, looked up sternly as he burst into the classroom, but as she noticed his bleeding knees, she looked on more kindly. She gently sent him off to the school nurse to look at his knees. When he got back to the classroom, he got out his books for Maths and rummaged in his bag for his pencil case, but realised he had forgotten it. He didnt want to get in any more trouble today. He whispered over to Sarah, and asked if he could borrow a pen for the day. No, she replied, You should have brought your own! Amy leaned over towards him, passed him a pen and smiled. Thank you, he mouthed back at her, feeling relieved.

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Session 4 Right, get your homework out, his teacher told the class. Jamie looked up in confusion. What homework? He couldnt remember any homework being set! Everyone else was pulling their homework out of their bags so Jamie pretended he was too and sat low in his chair, hoping that his teacher wouldnt notice he didnt have his with him. Luckily, the teacher quickly moved on and Jamie felt relieved. Hed just have to catch up on the homework tonight. Jamie sat down with his two best friends at lunch time and began chatting away. He was starving after missing breakfast and opened his lunch box eagerly, expecting his favourite snacks to be inside. Instead his lunch box was full of carrot sticks, salad and some really smelly egg sandwiches. A group of girls walked behind where Jamie was sat. Urrrggghhh, whats that stink? one of the girls said, I feel sick! The other girls started sniggering. Jamie went bright red and quickly shut the lunch box lid. He couldnt believe his mum could embarrass him like that! Especially as one of the girls in the group, Tina, he had really liked for ages. Now she would just think he was an idiot. Lunchtime meant football practice, which was Jamies favourite part of the day. He was an avid Leeds United fan and loved watching, reading about or watching football. He pulled on his boots and wandered over to the pitch. Umm, dont think you should really be playing Jamie, the captain said as he noticed Jamie limping slightly. Please let me play Steve, Jamie said, Ill be fine. No, you should sit out today mate, Steve said, I need our best team out there. Jamie slumped off and sat in the bench. He was gutted, as hed been looking forward to the practice all morning. Stupid knees, he thought and sat looking glum. Halfway through practice Steve wandered over to the bench. Go and give it a shot then Jamie, the teams not as good without you! and smiled. Jamie jumped up and jogged onto the pitch. He wasnt going to let some scratched knees ruin his game! He went on to score the winning goal and the team congratulated him. He felt really good and quite proud of himself. The afternoons lessons dragged a bit and Jamie was glad when it was time to go home. He shouted goodbye to his friends and ran out of school. He jogged all the way home, but slowed down as he reached his street. There was a big group of older boys huddled together at the corner of the street. 34

Session 4 He crossed the street quickly to try and avoid them and kept his head down so they didnt spot him. These boys were well known at school for causing trouble and bullying younger pupils. But it was too late. The oldest boy had spotted Jamie and shouted over to him, Oi you, what you looking at? Nothing, sorry, Jamie muttered and carrying on towards home. Dont you walk away from me, yelled the boy, Get over here! Jamie really didnt want to but knew that this boy, Gary, had a reputation around school and he had heard stories of him beating a lot of people up. He reluctantly crossed the road and wandered towards the group of boys. They were all stood smoking and laughing, and staring at Jamie who felt about two feet tall. Come here runt, Gary laughed. Jamie approached him and Gary started sniggering. Where are you off to? Just home, Jamie muttered. Come hang out with us, Gary said, You dont want to be going home when you could be having fun with us! Im ok thanks, Jamie said, My mums expecting me. Your mummys expecting you?! Mummys boy! laughed Gary and the others joined in. Have one of these, he said, and threw a cigarette at Jamie. No thanks, Jamie said, trying to sound confident, although inside he was really scared. Just smoke it, Gary snarled. I dont want to, Jamie said and tried to back away. Gary lunged towards him and Jamie thought he was about to hit him. Leave him alone Gaz, piped up one the other boys. Yeah, dont bother, another muttered. Gary looked around him at his gang of mates and turned and walked away. The others followed, and Jamie felt so relieved. One of the boys looked back and winked at him and he smiled back, then wandered home. Jamie got into his house and found it was empty. His parents must have still been at work. He went upstairs and collapsed down on his bed. What a rubbish day, he thought, thinking back to being late, cutting his knees, forgetting his homework and pencil case, being embarrassed at lunch, not being allowed to play football and then the incident with Gary. He lay back and thought about not bothering going into school tomorrow. Itll save me some hassle, he thought, I dont want to face them all again tomorrow. He turned on his Playstation and began playing to take his mind off it all. Ten minutes later his phone began vibrating, and he picked it up to read the text. It was Tina! He didnt even know how she had his number! She was apologising for laughing at him at lunchtime, and asked if he wanted to do something at the weekend. His heart leapt with excitement. He had liked 35

Session 4 Tina for ages but had always been too scared to ask her out. He lay back on his bed and began texting her back. Maybe he would go to school tomorrow after all!

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Session 4

Activity 2: The Thought Thermometer

Think of a thought you have quite often How strongly do you believe this thought? Where would you place this thought on this Thought Thermometer?

I strongly believe it

10 9 8

I believe it fairly strongly

7 6 5 4 3

I believe it a little

2 1

I dont believe it at all

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Session 4

Home Activity: Deal With It!

Think of a negative thought that you have quite often. Consider ideas or people that could help you to cope with this negative thought.

My negative thought:

These are 3 things that help me to cope with my negative thought:

These are 3 new ideas of how I can help myself cope with this negative thought in the future:

This is how other people could help me:

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Session 5

The Magic Circle

Think back to the Magic Circle from Session 2. It will help you with your learning in this session. What you think

What you do

How you feel

How You Feel

Each day you will probably notice yourself having a range of different feelings. For example, you could: Wake up feeling anxious about going to school Feel happy on the school bus talking with friends Feel angry when your friend forgets to bring the CD you wanted to borrow Feel stressed about completing your history homework Feel relaxed when watching TV at the end of the day You will find that: Some of these feelings will last only a short time Others will go on and on Some will be so weak that you may not even notice them Others will be very strong and seem to take over Our first job is to find out more about the types of feelings that you have. This is not always easy because: We are not always very good at identifying our feelings We often wrap all our feelings up together under one label

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Here are some questions it would be helpful to answer about your feelings:

Q. What feelings do you have? Q. What feelings are the strongest? Q. Where you are most likely to have these feelings? Q. What thoughts go with these feelings?

What Feelings Do I Have?

Learning to identify your feelings is important, as it may help you to learn how to control them. For example, breathing exercises may help with feelings of anxiety or worry, but not with feelings of sadness. Three of the strongest and most common unpleasant feelings are stress, unhappiness and anger.

# Stress
When people feel stressed or wound up they notice a number of different symptoms. The signs of stress vary from one person to another but may include: feeling sick butterflies in the stomach shortness of breath sweating legs feeling heavy or like jelly going red in the face feeling light-headed fainting aching muscles your mind going blank difficulty in making decisions

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# Unhappiness
Everyone feels unhappy at some time or another, but for some people this feeling takes over their life and they end up feeling very depressed. They might find themselves: regularly tearful crying for no clear reason or over small things waking up early in the morning having difficulty falling asleep at night feeling constantly tired and lacking in energy comfort eating or losing their appetite having difficulty in concentrating losing interest in things that they used to enjoy going out less often Because these feelings produce some very strong physical reactions, people sometimes end up thinking that they are ill or unwell. These symptoms then become the reason why they stop or avoid doing things.

Im not sleeping and cant concentrate, so I have given up my weekend job.

These physical reactions are very real, but you may not be unwell. It may be part of a trap where your negative thoughts create these symptoms. If you are unsure or want some reassurance, then check this by talking with your doctor.

# Anger
Anger is a very common feeling and can be expressed in many different ways: shouting, yelling and screaming swearing and threatening throwing things breaking things slamming doors hitting, kicking, fighting wanting to harm oneself
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Feelings and What You Do

Feelings dont just suddenly happen. There is usually something that triggers them. If you remember the Magic Circle, then you will remember that how you feel will be affected by what you do and what you think. You will have different feelings in different places: At school you may feel anxious At home you may feel relaxed In town you may feel worried You will notice different feelings when you engage in different activities: When watching TV you may feel calm When talking with people you may feel anxious When doing maths you may feel happy When playing sport you may feel tense You will also notice that you feel different with different people: With With With With your your your your dad you may feel angry best friend you may feel relaxed and confident teacher you may feel happy sister you may feel stressed

Feelings and What You Think

The way in which we think causes feelings: If you think that you have no friends, you may feel sad If you think that you are disliked, you may feel worried If you think that you did well with your homework, you may feel pleased

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Putting it all together

If you put all this together, you will probably start to notice a pattern.

What you think

What you do

How you feel

What you do
Stay at home alone

How you feel

Sad

What you think

Ive got no friends

Go out with Jim

Happy

We always have a laugh together

Go to school

Stressed

I just cant keep up with my work

Go clothes shopping

Angry

I can never find anything that looks good on me

Have a bath

Relaxed, calm

Its nice lying here

Remember! How we feel depends on what we do and what we think. Try to identify the different feelings that you have. Check whether your strongest43 feelings are linked to particular thoughts or what you do.

Session 5

Putting Yourself Down

Low self-esteem (or self-opinion) can sometimes lead to all sorts of problems with people around you. It can make you feel angry or upset and also cause you to compare yourself negatively with others. You might think other people wont like you. One of the healthiest ways to be around others is to feel equal or the same as others by being your real self not someone you think they might like. Learning to accept yourself can be hard, but one good way to learn is to work on ways that you put yourself down, so that you are more real around people.

Feeling Better About Yourself

We all rate ourselves all the time. We are good or bad, a success or a failure, a winner or a loser. doesnt make it helpful though. We need to try to stop giving ourselves overall general ratings all the time. Things like Im no good at any subject at school, are labels we give ourselves that suggest we are no good. When we label ourselves in this way, we can begin to think quite negatively (Im no good) and feel down. We might not bother to try then, and say to ourselves, Whats the point, Im no good at it anyway! Then we just feel worse. Here are some examples of labels: # Im weak # Im useless # Im pathetic # Im a loser # Im no good # Im bad # Im a failure # I dont matter # Im crazy # Im stupid # Im disgusting # Im worthless Just because we do this all the time

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Here are some ideas of how to deal with your labels: Try not to use them! Every time you refuse to use them (inside your head or out loud) you are improving. If you use them, make yourself keep count put 5p in a jar, or keep a note in your diary or on a chart. This will show you how often you use them and remind you to stop. Instead of using general labels (Im no good) just focus on what part of you or what you do (or dont do) that you arent happy with. Try replacing these general labels for ones that are more accurate: Unhelpful labels Im weak Im no good Im a failure Im stupid Different, more helpful ideas I have strengths and weaknesses I have some really good qualities Im normal so I get things wrong and I get things right I can do stupid things sometimes but that doesnt mean Im stupid

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Activity 1: Sticky Situations

Situation 1
Your best friend hasnt done her homework and asks to copy yours. You spent ages doing it the night before and worked really hard on it. You are really proud of your efforts. You know youll get into trouble if the teacher realises.

Q. What do you think?

Q. How do you feel?

Q. What would you do?

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Situation 2
You see your brother stealing a video game from a shop. He tells you not to tell your parents and says hell lend you the game if you keep quiet.

Q. What do you think?

Q. How do you feel?

Q. What would you do?

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Situation 3
You see some older boys picking on a younger pupil at school. They are being aggressive and the smaller child looks really scared.

Q. What do you think?

Q. How do you feel?

Q. What would you do?

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Situation 4
You are sat eating lunch with your friend when she starts saying unkind things about another girl in your class. The other girl hasnt done anything to upset your friend.

Q. What do you think?

Q. How do you feel?

Q. What would you do?

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Situation 5
Your friend tells you that they are having a horrible time at home and that their parents are always shouting at them for no reason. They are thinking of running away from home.

Q. What do you think?

Q. How do you feel?

Q. What would you do?

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Activity 2: Find the Feeling!

Checklist
Afraid Amazed Angry Ashamed Cheerful Confident Confused Content Depressed Excited Frightened Glad Grumpy Happy Hurt Insecure Mad Nervous Relaxed Sad Scared Tense Unhappy Worried

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Home Activity: How Do You Feel?

Here is a list of situations that you are sometimes in. Think about how you feel when you are in these situations. Look at the list of words at the bottom of the page. Do any of these feelings match up to the situations for you? Write them in the thought bubbles. You can add your own feelings that arent included in the list too

Sharing my feelings

At school

Doing my favourite hobby With my mum or dad

With my friends
Happy Sad Bored Relaxed 52

Feelings Angry Frightened Frustrated Upset Excited Lonely Guilty Confused

Session 6

Activity 1: Hey Relax!

Here a few short exercises you can try to help you relax if you feel tense or stressed. Concentrate on your muscles and especially the ones that seem the most tense. These exercises are easy enough for you to be able to do yourself at home! The more you practice, the better and faster you will become at relaxing.

Arms and hands

Clench your fists and push your arms straight out in front of you.

Legs and feet

Push your toes downwards, gently raise your legs and stretch them out in front of you.

Stomach
Push out your tummy muscles, take a breath and hold it.

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Shoulders
Scrunch up your shoulders

Neck
Push your head back against the chair or bed.

Face
Screw up your face, squeeze your eyes tight and push your lips together.

Sometimes people think about images that make them feel soothed for example the waves on a beach, a babbling brook, the sun on your face. What kind of images can you conjure up to feel more calm and relaxed>

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Activity 2: Feeling Footsteps

The Feeling Footsteps diagram helps you to plot out the steps that you take up to a certain point It could plot a time when you are angry, upset or experience another feeling You should plot your thoughts, feelings and behaviours Plotting each step will help you to realise how this feeling builds up and can lead to a behaviour that you dont want to reach You will then be able to work to help stop this build up of feelings and to remain calmer and more in control There may only be a couple of steps or there may be many
Here is an example of the feeling footsteps for you: Step 5: Step 6: Hit them

Swear, re

Swear, red face, mind blank Step 4: Clench fists, grit, angry face, threaten Step 3: Seems like a dream Step 2: Watching myself from above Stop it and Im going to hit you Feels hot and starts to sweat Step 1: Youre trying to wind me up Normal voice and volume, feels calm

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Feeling Footsteps
Here is a blank diagram of the Feeling Footsteps for you to fill in It can be from an experience of feeling angry, upset or another feeling Try to include your thoughts, feelings and behaviours at each step

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Home activity: Time To Relax

Think about what helps you to relax when you are feeling angry, tense or stressed. Note down these ideas in the thought bubbles. Then jot down some ideas of things you are going to try in the future to help you to relax.

Things that help me relax:

Things that I will try in the future to help me relax:

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The ABC of Why We Do What We Do

To help you understand how the things you do (or dont do) are linked to the way you think and feel about situations or events, we use a simple A B C.

AA- Activating Activating Event Event Something that really happens to you, for example you fail a test. Or something you think might happen, like not being invited to a party.

B- Beliefs When the event happens your beliefs or thoughts about the event will lead to you feeling or behaving the way you do as a result.

C-Consequences Your thoughts, feelings and behaviours that come after the event. So if you think you wont be invited to the party, you would feel upset and angry and then not speak to your friend.

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ABC Examples
To help you understand A B C better, here are 2 examples of events, one real and one imaginary.

A- Activating Event

B- Beliefs

C-Consequences

External (Real) You fail an exam

Im a total idiot

Feelings: You feel angry, upset and sad Behaviours: You decide not to bother revising for other exams

I should not have failed

Ill never pass anything

Internal (Imaginary) You think you will not be invited to a friends party and you worry about being left out

Im not popular because if I was I would be invited

Feelings: You feel worried, upset and lonely Behaviours: You avoid your friends because you think they wont like you

If everyone else goes but me I will look stupid

Nobody likes me

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The ABC Approach

Here is a summary of how the A B C problem approach works:

A B C A B C

You fail an exam at school

You believe that: I should have done better and have failed to get the mark I wanted

You tell yourself: I am a failure. You feel sad and upset so you decide not to revise for future exams.

You imagine that you will not be invited to the party

You believe that: I am unpopular and nobody likes me

You tell yourself: I am a loser. You feel upset and lonely so you avoid seeing your friends.
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Activity 1: Your Own ABC Examples

Learning to write down and organise the separate parts of a problem will help you to understand and control what you do as a result. Write below or on a piece of paper, examples of two events that have had an effect on you recently. Think about one external event (something real that has happened to you), and one internal event (something you imagined might happen to you).
A- Activating Event B- Beliefs _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ C-Consequences Feelings__________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ Behaviours________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ Feelings__________ __________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ Behaviours________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ _______________

External (Real) ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ Internal (Imaginary) ________________ ________________ __ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ _____

_________________ _______ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ ________ 61

Session 7

Activity 2: What Did I Do?

Pick one or more of the scenarios that you have experienced. Describe what you did, and then how that made you feel.

Scenario 1

Your friends pressured you into doing something you didnt want to.

Is your reaction good or bad?

What did you do?

Do you see a link between reacting well and feeling better?

If you reacted badly, did you feel worse?

How did you feel after you did that?

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Scenario 2

Your parents kept shouting at you for no apparent reason.

Is your reaction good or bad?

What did you do?

Do you see a link between reacting well and feeling better?

How did you feel after you did that? If you reacted badly, did you feel worse?

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You were teased a lot when you were younger.

Is your reaction good or bad?

What did you do?

Do you see a link between reacting well and feeling better?

How did you feel after you did that? If you reacted badly, did you feel worse?

Session 7: Why Do We Do What We Do?

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Session 7 Scenario 4

You fell out with your best friend after a silly argument.
Is your reaction good or bad?

What did you do?

Do you see a link between reacting well and feeling better?

How did you feel after you did that? If you reacted badly, did you feel worse?

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Home Activity: Your Actions

Think about the things you do when you are happy, scared and upset. Draw or write these actions in the boxes. What do I do when I am happy?

What do I do when I am scared?

What do I do when I am upset?

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Changing Your Behaviour

We have discovered that sometimes we have negative and unhelpful thoughts. We think that things will be difficult. We expect and predict the worse. Sometimes it is hard to see anything positive. We have come to understand that these thoughts may make us feel uncomfortable. We may try to make ourselves better by: Avoiding situations that we think will be difficult Withdrawing and staying where we feel safe Stopping doing things that might make us feel unpleasant This may bring some immediate relief, but over time you will probably feel worse. As you do less you may find yourself feeling more and more down. Anything new needs an even greater effort, and it becomes harder to tackle any new challenges. Strong unpleasant feelings flood back as you feel cross and disappointed with yourself. And so it goes on.... and on... and on... An important way of breaking out of this trap is to become more active and take control. Push yourself to do things. As you become busier you will notice a number of benefits.

You feel better

Becoming more active means that you have less time to notice any unpleasant feelings or to listen to any negative thoughts. You will start to feel better.

You feel more in control

You start to regain control of your life and do the things that you want to do

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You feel less tired

Doing nothing is very tiring! You will feel very lethargic and exhausted. Although it sounds silly, the more active you become, the less tired you feel.

You want to do more

The hardest thing is to get started. Once you become active you will want to do more. Quite simply, the more you do, the more you feel like doing.

Your thinking becomes clearer

Doing nothing makes you feel sluggish both mentally and physically. Activity sharpens up your thinking.

Increase Fun Activities

The first and hardest job is to get going again. A useful way to do this is to increase your enjoyable activities. Set yourself targets to increase the number of enjoyable activities that you do each day or week. Make a list of the things you enjoy/want to do and those activities that you used to enjoy and have now stopped. These can be any activities at all, and remember that they dont have to cost money. They could be: Social activities talking to a friend, having someone round for tea Outdoor activities going for a walk, swimming, shopping Indoor activities listening to music, watching a video, reading a book, drawing, playing video games

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From your list choose the activity that you would most like to do. Choose a day, set a time and do it! Gradually build more and more enjoyable activities into your life.

Map How You Feel and What You Do

There will probably be certain times of the day/week when you are more likely to notice strong pleasant or unpleasant feelings. It may be useful to tune into these and find out whether there are any patterns or particular difficult times. A useful way of doing this is to keep a diary: Write down what you are doing and how you feel each hour. Use the Feeling Thermometer to rate how strong your feelings are. At the end of the week, look at the diary and see if there are any particularly good/bad times and whether any activity made you feel better/worse. If you find a link between certain activities and strong feelings, then try planning your time differently. Where possible, try to do more of those activities that make you feel good and less of those that make you feel bad.

Small Steps
Sometimes starting an activity might seem too large a step to tackle all in one go: At these times it might be useful to break down the task into smaller steps Each smaller step feels more manageable This increases the chances of success, and each step will move you closer to your target The following case study shows how Jenny used this technique.
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Jennys Swimming
Jenny liked swimming, but over the past six months she had become down-hearted and unhappy and had not been swimming at all. She listed all of the activities that she wanted to start again, and chose swimming with her friend Susie as her number one choice. Although she wanted to do it, the thought of going swimming with Susie seemed an enormous challenge. Jenny decided to break this task down into the following smaller steps which she felt she could handle.

1. Go to the swimming baths and find out about opening times and
costs.

2. Go on her own late one evening for a short 10-minute swim. 3. Go on her own late one evening for a 30-minute swim. 4.
Go swimming on her own one morning (when it was busier) for

30 minutes.

5. Go swimming with Susan one morning for 30 minutes.

Breaking the task down into smaller steps made it easier for Jenny to be successful.

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Face Your Fears

Breaking tasks down into smaller steps is helpful, but you may still put off doing them because you feel too anxious. Anxious feelings often stop us doing the things we would really like to do. However, by not doing them we then have to cope with other unpleasant feelings such as sadness and anger. You might feel very frightened about going to school, but staying at home might make you feel sad. You might feel scared about going out with your friends, but staying in on your own might make you feel angry. At these times it can be useful to face your fears and learn to overcome them. You can do this by going through the following steps:

1. Use small steps to break down your challenge into smaller tasks. 2. Think about coping self-talk and practice using it. 3.
Relax and imagine yourself successfully coping with your first

task.

4. Test it out, one task at a time. 5. Praise yourself for being successful.

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Activity 1: Stepping Stones

What is your task or challenge?
________________________________________________________

Break this down into smaller steps that will be easier to manage. Look at all the steps and number them in order of difficulty.

You can now begin with the easiest step. Once you have achieved it you can move onto the next, and so on until all of the steps are completed! You will realise that breaking down challenges into smaller steps makes them easier to achieve.

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Activity 2: Its All About Me!

Write your name in the star. Pass the piece of paper round the group. Each person will write one positive comment about the named person it can be about anything to do with them!

When the piece of paper comes back to you, read the comments that have been written. How did you feel when you read the positive things that people had to say about you? Hopefully they will make you feel good about yourself, and you will remember that positive activities will result in you having positive feelings, and also that its always nice to compliment someone!

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Home Activity 1: My Activity Diary

Keep a diary for 3 days of things you have done and how you have felt. You can use the Feeling Thermometer to rate how strong these feelings are. Can you see any patterns between what you do and how you feel?

Day 1
Time Activity Feeling How strong are my feelings?
7.00 am

8.00 am

9.00 am

10.00 am

11.00 am

12.00 pm

1.00 pm

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3.00 pm

4.00 pm

5.00 pm

6.00 pm

7.00 pm

8.00 pm

9.00 pm

10.00 pm

11.00 pm

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My Activity Diary Day 2

Time Activity Feeling How strong are my feelings?
7.00 am

8.00 am

9.00 am

10.00 am

11.00 am

12.00 pm

1.00 pm

2.00 pm

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3.00 pm

4.00 pm

5.00 pm

6.00 pm

7.00 pm

8.00 pm

9.00 pm

10.00 pm

11.00 pm

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My Activity Diary Day 3

Time Activity Feeling How strong are my feelings?
7.00 am

8.00 am

9.00 am

10.00 am

11.00 am

12.00 pm

1.00 pm

2.00 pm

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3.00 pm

4.00 pm

5.00 pm

6.00 pm

7.00 pm

8.00 pm

9.00 pm

10.00 pm

11.00 pm

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Home Activity 2: The Feeling Thermometer

How strong are your feelings? How would you rate your feelings on this Feeling Thermometer?

Very strong

10 9 8 7

Fairly strongly

6 5 4

Quite weak

3 2 1

Very weak
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Session 9

Learning to Solve Problems

Each day brings a new set of problems and challenges. For example: dealing with being unfairly told off by a teacher trying to stay in your seat at school coping with teasing by an annoying brother or sister negotiating with your parents about staying out late When we encounter a problem we have to think about the different ways in which we could deal with it and then make a decision about what we will do or say. Sometimes we make the right choice, while at other times we seem to get it wrong. There will always be times when this happens, but some people seem to make more wrong choices or find it harder to solve problems than others. When this happens it is useful to think about how you are dealing with your problems and whether you could try to solve them in different ways.

Why Do Problems Happen?

There are many reasons why we are unable to solve our problems successfully. Some of these reasons are quite common:

Acting Without Thinking

Decisions and choices are sometimes made too quickly. You may rush into something without really thinking through what will happen. Nicks problem Nick heard his dad say that he had left the shopping in the car. Wanting to be helpful, Nick rushed out and carried all the bags from the back seat of the car into the house. He didnt check with his
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parents, but if he had he would have found out that their shopping was in the car boot. The bags he brought in were for a party his dad was organising at work. Sabrinas problem Sabrina heard her teachers instructions to copy her work into her book, and she immediately picked up her pen and started. Unfortunately, she didnt hear the next instruction, which told her to use a pencil and to start her work on a new page. Nick and Sabrina were both trying to be helpful, but in their rush they created more problems for themselves.

Feelings Take Over

Strong feelings like anger or anxiety sometimes take over and prevent us from thinking problems through and making the right choices about what we do or say. Mikes problem Mike became very angry when he was tackled during a game of football, and he kicked the other player. The referee sent Mike off the pitch. Jennys problem Jenny didnt understand her schoolwork, but was really worried about asking her teacher for help. She didnt ask, she got her homework wrong and she had to stay behind after school and do it again. Mike knew that if he kicked someone he would be sent off. Jenny knew that if she got her homework wrong she would have to do it again. At the time Mike and Jenny were not able to think about the consequences of their behaviour. Strong feelings took over and prevented them from thinking these situations through.

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Cant see any other solution? The third reason why we cant solve problems is because we just cant think of another way of doing things. We become very fixed in our ideas and cant see any other solutions.

Learn To Stop and Think

It is useful to learn a way of dealing with problems which ensures that you dont rush in with the first thing that comes into your head. A helpful approach is the Stop, Think and Go traffic light system:

Red Amber Green

Stop and consider your problem Think about what you do or say Go with your plan

The first step is often the hardest, and sometimes you may find it hard to stop yourself from rushing in. Practise imagining a picture of some traffic lights and as you see the red light think to yourself,

stop. As the light comes on, take a few deep breaths. This may help
you to calm down and slow down enough to let you plan and think about what you want to do, and go with your plan. The more you practice, the easier it will become.

Identify Different Solutions

Sometimes we meet the same problem or challenge every day but often end up making the wrong decision over and over again. When this happens, it is useful to stop and think about all of the different ways in which you can deal with this problem. Try using the or method to find as many possible solutions as you can. Another way of doing this is to take a sheet of paper and write down
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all of the possible solutions you can think of in two minutes. The idea is to get as many ideas as you can, so dont worry if some of them seem unrealistic or silly.

Billys Problem
Billy felt that his friends often ignored him, so he came up with a list of solutions to find ways in which he could get his friends to listen to him. I could talk louder shout stand in front of their faces so that they would have to listen to me keep repeating myself talk with one person rather than all the group find things to talk about that really interested them find a new group of friends

For Billy, the idea of shouting all the time seemed silly, and changing his group of friends was not really possible. Some of the other ideas he came up with were more useful. Billy decided that he needed to listen more carefully to the things that really interested his friends. He also decided that he would try to talk more with people on their own, rather than trying to join in with the group discussions. If you find it hard to think of any different ways of dealing with your problems then it may be useful to talk this over with someone else. Ask how they would deal with your problem, and see if they can suggest some different ideas.

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Think Through The Consequences

Once you have made a list of possible solutions, the next step is to work out which is the best one. Think about the positive and negative consequences of each idea and then choose the one that you think, on balance, will work best. This involves five steps:

1. What is my problem? 2. How could I deal with this problem? 3. What are the positive consequences of each solution? 4. What are the negative consequences of each solution? 5. On balance, what is the best solution?

Mandys Problem
Three girls at school have started to tease Mandy and call her names at break time. On the first day, Mandy became very angry and chased after the girls. On the second day, she hit one of the girls and ended up in trouble in front of the head teacher. On the third day, she called the girls names back, but this seemed to make the name-calling worse. Mandy decided to sit down and work out how she would cope with this problem.

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Talk Yourself Through it

Another useful way of learning to solve problems is to ask someone who is successful to talk to you through what they do: Ask them to tell you what they do Watch them doing it Then talk yourself through the problem This can be very helpful for those problems that seem to occur fairly often.

Michaels Problem
Michael felt very worried when he met his friends because he often did not know what to talk about. His friend Rob was very popular and always seemed to know what to say, so Michael asked for his help. Rob said that when he arrived at school each morning he would go up to his group of friends, say hello and talk about something that had been on television last night, such as a sports match or the latest episode of their favourite TV soap. Rob went to school with Michael the next day and as they arrived Rob talked aloud about what he was going to do as Michael watched. The next day, when Michael arrived at school he talked aloud about what he was going to do, Im going to walk across the playground, go up to Max and Ed, say hello and ask if they saw the game last night. Michael did this and was pleased to find that he was soon chatting with his friends. The next day he talked himself through it again, and after a few times Michael found that he was now doing this without thinking.

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Activity 1: Stop, Think, Go!

The traffic lights below will help you to deal with a problem you may have. Follow the 3 steps stop, think and go! Planning this out means that next time the problem occurs you should be ready to try out your new solution, which should hopefully help to deal with it!

STOP
What is your problem?

THINK
What is your solution?

GO!
When will you try it out?

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Activity 2:Talking To Yourself

Sometimes you have a problem that happens again and again. It can help to talk to or watch how someone else copes, and then to try out the ideas yourself. You can then make a plan to hopefully help you deal with this problem What is my problem?

Who could I talk it through with who has had the same problem?

How do they deal with this problem?

Which part of their plan can I use and when can I test them out?

How did it go?

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Home Activity: Problem Solving

Write down a particular problem that you may have it can be anything. Then think of all the possible solutions you can to solve this problem or to make it easier.

My problem is

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Personal Checklist
Shade in the boxes to show how much each of these statements is true for you.
I have a strong sense of who I am I am very aware of how I behave in different ways according to the situation I am in I can usually see things from other peoples perspectives I have a good understanding of how different relationships work I am usually realistic about how I think others view me I am able to be independent and self-reliant

I am able to be in a relationship without feeling swamped or overwhelmed by the other person I understand my emotions and why I feel the way I do in different situations I believe that I am a likeable and worthwhile person

I am respectful and tolerant of other peoples views

I feel in control of how I express my emotions

I am able to distinguish my feelings from those of others I can accept constructive criticism from others

I am able to acknowledge my own strengths

I recognise areas that I find difficult and may want to work on I like and respect myself I am self-motivated. I tend not to worry too much what others might think of me

I am assertive in the way that I deal with unjustified criticism from others I take good care of myself I believe that I have mastery over my life

I can tolerate my own mistakes I know how to relax and enjoy myself

I feel OK about my physical appearance I am able to adjust my actions, feelings and thoughts according to realistic assessments of my progress I am usually able to listen well to what others have to say

I enjoy new challenges

I believe that I let other people see who I really am through my words and actions I believe that my options, thoughts and actions have value

I enjoy talking to new people

I consider myself to be a creative person

I am confident enough in my own abilities to be able to try different ways of solving problems I cope well with unexpected events

I am generally optimistic

I tend not to dwell on past events or worry about the future

I regularly set myself realistic yet challenging goals

I believe that I am capable of fulfilling my potential

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Rosenberg Self Esteem Scale (SES)

Please read the following statements and shade the box that best describes how much you agree or disagree with each one
Strongly Agree On the whole, I am satisfied with myself 3 0 3 3 0 0 3 0 0 Agree Disagree Strongly Disagree 0 3 0 0 3 3 0 3 3

2 1 2 2 1 1 2 1 1

1 2 1 1 2 2 1 2 2

At times, I think I am no good at all I feel that I have a number of good qualities I am able to do things as well as most other people I feel I do not have much to be proud of I feel useless at times I feel that I should be valued and I am equal to others I wish I could have more respect for myself I often think I am a failure I take a positive attitude toward myself

Add up the total number of points in the shaded boxes to get your final score:
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My House

Sensation Smoke
(how do I feel?)

Behaviour Birds
(how do I act?)

(what rules do I believe?)

Roof of Rules

Window of Truth
(my beliefs)

1. 2. 3. 1. 2. 3.

(what do I worry about?)

Chimney of Fears

1.

Window of Truth
2.
(my beliefs)

Window of Truth Doorbell

(my trigger)

3.

(my beliefs)

Yellow Brick Road

(my early experiences)

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Session 10

Thinksmart Evaluation Form

Name:_______________ Date:______ For each of the following questions please put a tick in the boxes below: Have you had fun in the group? Not at all A little bit A lot Loads

Has being in the group helped you get on better with others? Not at all A little bit A lot Very much

Has being in the group helped you feel more confident? Not at all A little bit A lot Very much

Has being in the group given you new experiences? Not at all A little bit A lot Loads

Do you think that the group had helped you feel better about yourself? Not at all A little bit A lot Very much

Has being in the group helped you with your worries? Not at all A little bit A lot Very much

What would you tell other people about the Thinksmart group? Load of rubbish They were ok Very good Brilliant

Any other comments about the programme or group?

93