Aries
(March 21 - April 19)
Relationships are a lot like tables. One leg is love, one is trust, one is shared pleasures,and one is shared dreams. Lasting relationships need all four legs for balance, to hold upthe burden of your troubles. In your case, though, you'll never get rid of that irritatingwobble.
Taurus
(April 20 - May 20)
Today you will have the eerie sensation that either you are going crazy or you are beingwatched by something indescribably evil. Luckily for you, you're in fine shape, mentally.
Gemini
(May 21 - June 20)
Good day to go out and play in the mud. Or at least, find some way of making squishysounds.
Cancer
(June 21 - July 22)
You will have a grilled cheese sandwich today, and a bowl of tomato soup. When nobodyis looking you will secretly dunk your sandwich. You never tire of the wild life, do you?
Leo
(July 23 - August 22)
Today you will join the political action group "Whiners For Peace", and will call up your senator's office and whine at them. Don't forget to sign up for the big "Pout Out" nextmonth!
Virgo
(August 23 - September 22)
Today you'll suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, and believe me, that'll
hurt
.
Libra
(September 22 - October 22)
Excellent day to make strange mouth noises, particularly in a crowded elevator.
Scorpio
(October 23 - November 21)
Today you will see a free floating full torso vaporous apparition! It'll turn out that your glasses are smudged.
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