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Page 1 of 11Elizabeth Strong.rtf09.05.19 8:42 PM
Elizabeth Strong - A Story
by Guy A. Duperreault inspired by a short story by Wes McLeod
Elizabeth awoke. She thought it a good sign that in contrast to the sweatproducing nightmares she'd been having almost every night for the past fortnight,last night's dreams had been quiet. From them remained feelings of peace andmeaning despite all details of the dreams having already fled from memory.But when she focused her eyes on the snow-like patterns in the ceiling,Elizabeth shivered with the thought of blizzards and danger. With a deep breathshe pushed away these bleak thoughts, ascribed them to the changeshappening in her body, and prayed that the doubts about this day had beenpurged during her training and constantly re-affirmed resolve.She turned her head to look at her husband. His smooth back andshoulders looked expansive from this close range. The easy movement of hisstrong and well proportioned body as he breathed seemed so innocent. Likehim. His small birthmark evoked in her a sense of his humanity, his vulnerability. Heis, she thought, truly 'my baby.'But not for much longer!Elizabeth tried to stop the thought of the need she will have by the end ofthis day for Jim's forgiveness. Sentimentality will not undermine my course! shereaffirmed. Despite her will, though, there arose in her mind's eye what he mustsee when he looks at her: the "false" her that he thinks she is, that she has allowedand even encouraged him to see and seek.She carefully eased out from under the covers. The cool air surprisedElizabeth. Her nakedness, unusual in the morning, took her back to last night'spassion, during which their night clothes flew from under the covers like so muchunwanted chaff. But the remembered sharing and togetherness of thosedelicious moments turned to sadness with the thought of what Jim will find whenhe wakes: her half of the bed empty and in the kitchen beside the coffeemachine a terse, bewildering, note.
I have some business to do. On my own. I'll see you
–
 tonight, although I'mnot sure when. Supper is ready in the fridge for the microwave. Please donot panic. I will explain all tonight. And I will bring great news! Please, please be patient. I love you, Beth
.
The juxtaposition of this image – that of the model wife, lover, friend and,hopefully soon, mother – with what she has surreptitiously prepared herself to doduring the last several months brought tiny prickles of anxiety and shame inducedsweat to the back of her neck and knees and in the crux of her elbows.To relax and ease her mind Elizabeth stretched forward and kissed Jim on
 
Page 2 of 11Elizabeth Strong.rtf09.05.19 8:42 PM
the right shoulder, just under that heart melting birthmark. "I love you," shemouthed.Elizabeth reached down and grabbed her thick sport socks. She movedslowly, gingerly, praying for a nauseous free morning. Balancing carefully first onthe one foot then the other, she eased them onto her feet, then padded out ofthe bedroom, past the guest room which will soon be the nursery and ondownstairs, carefully stepping over the two squeaky steps and into the bathroom.Feeling embarrassed and incomplete, but for the sake of quietness, she left thetoilet un-flushed.The recently oiled hinges on the hall way closet door opened with just awhisper. From behind the winter coats Elizabeth eased out today's cloths. Shehad put them there several days ago while Jim was at work, in anticipation of thisday – and of last night.As she stepped into her panties and slipped on her bra she chuckled atJim: Elizabeth knew that he was convinced that he had been the seducer, so wellhad she seduced him. Men, she thought, are really such simple creatures! Theyrequire only that the right part of their anatomy gets tickled at the right time. Andshe loved him all the more for that simplicity in him, a simplicity which continues toexist despite the air of sophistication he likes to project as a "serious" doctor andincreasingly respected medical researcher.Dressed now, except for shoes, Elizabeth padded quietly into the kitchen.She turned on the coffee maker's timer, and quietly re-confirmed that coffeewas in the filter and that water was in the holder. From out of her bag she slid thenote and set it next to the coffee maker. She turned to leave, then stopped,turned back and gently kissed her message.At the door Elizabeth fished out from the closet uncharacteristic shoes –sturdy plain pumps, which she put on after exchanging the sport socks for a pairof heavy nylon knee highs. They matched "her" clothes, which were comprised ofa plain white blouse in thick cotton, buttoned almost to the neck, a tired greencardigan and heavy and long dark green wool skirt, also well used. At her neckwas a small, but noticeable, crucifix and pinned to her sweater was a cameo.Elizabeth had bought them all from consignment and pawn shops or swap meetsduring the last fortnight. She had carefully constructed what she imagined to bea simple, over forty, librarian-like, non- threatening woman's persona. Elizabethsmiled at the thought of Jim's reaction to these "clothes". "I haven't married thespinster of my sixth grade, have I? So why are you dressed like her?" he'd snapwith false testiness.Elizabeth was not sure how she would answer that. But as she looked atherself in the hall way mirror, she began to feel the clothes take hold on her:somehow she felt older, slower, less bright. It was as if she were falling undersome kind of spell. That's a good sign, she said to herself. The disguise is foolingeven me!Elizabeth re-confirmed that, except for a small amount of money in an
 
Page 3 of 11Elizabeth Strong.rtf09.05.19 8:42 PM
otherwise empty wallet, her purse housed only a pair of dark sunglasses andleather gloves. Then she eased out of the front door like a thief in the night. It wasstill thirty or so minutes before dawn.As she moved down the walkway, her shadow cast by the cheery porchlight growing taller and taller, Elizabeth thought wistfully of childhood's simplewonder at it. Elizabeth's still flat stomach fluttered with excitement and fear andexcitement and possibility. She touched it with both hands, grateful for thisunexpected gift.At the sidewalk Elizabeth stopped and looked back. The safety andsecurity of home called to her. She almost went back, frightened in knowing thatshe was about to cross – had in fact crossed – an ill-defined threshold frominnocence into the uncertain future of open-eyed mendacity. 'Is that whatmaturity is?' she wondered. 'The making of dangerous choices, rather than beingmade tame through choices made for you?'Elizabeth turned and walked away. She needed to buy a morning paperbut did not want to be recognized by a local shop keeper, so walked manyblocks in order to hide herself from her community.It was light by the time she entered a corner store she had never seenbefore. Elizabeth bought only the paper and left, proceeding several moreblocks before stopping at a bus stop. She flipped immediately to the "Personals"section, skimming without seeing the standard SWF's and the like. What her eyeslooked for, Elizabeth almost hoped would not be there. But it was. Her coursewas set.She folded the paper, tossed it into the garbage can and waited for thebus. Within half an hour the bus took her in. It spat her out again forty-five minuteslater in the awakening city.Already the streets were full of people scurrying about their business. Asusual, the ebb and flow of the vehicles and pedestrians struck Elizabeth as anelaborate dance, one that writhed to a hidden music. Without being aware of it,and despite the clothes and being more than two hours early, Elizabeth becameone of them and was now hurrying to her destination.A chance sighting of the dowdy person she saw scrabbling fearfullythrough the crowd in a mirror-like window startled her. She stopped and lookedat it intently, for it did not feel connected to her. "Its" sunken chest, the slopedshoulders, the drawn and fearful face, the plain and tired clothes: all seemed tobelong to somebody else, to something else. The costume had stolen her away.With several deep breaths she straightened her spine, relaxed back hershoulders and eased the tightness out of her face. She assured herself that whatshe was about to do was not only important and worthwhile, but a significant steptowards reclaiming from her husband responsibility for her life. The sugar coatedprison she had allowed – nay, had actively made her life into – would be no more.He'll understand! she averred to herself. Her stomach tightened a bit with theexcitement of being free and with fear of her husband's reaction.
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