By E.BLAIR LAING
STAFF WRITER
W
e all recognize the labelbisexual,and most of us arefamiliar with terms likefluid and queer.But whatabout pansexual? Bi-curi-ous? Hetero or homoflexible? What does itall mean?We’ve heard the stereotypes about bisex-uality,particularly in relation to women—it’s just a phase,they’re just sluts,they’llgrow out of it or that bisexuality is just astepping-stone on the way to acceptinghomosexuality.But are these stereotypestrue?
SOCIOLOGY
The results of a 2008 study done byProfessor Lisa Diamond of the University of Utah showed that bisexuality is not merely a“transitional stage”for women,but is in factpotentially a “third orientation.”This studymay reflect what some of us already believe,but sociology’s understanding of sexuality,particularly bisexuality,is still rough.“The deep question underlying any studyof sexuality is where do we get our sexualorientation,”said sociology professor PaulaEngland.“And that is too big of a question.”England believes that both genetics andsociety may have their influence.“There may be a lot of people who,basedon their biology,could be bisexual,”Englandsaid,“but because of culture they end upheterosexual.”
DOUBLE STANDARD
“Kissing girls is something I do for thesame reason I do a lot of other things—it’sfun,”said Taylor ‘10.“I don’t think I have tobe bisexual because of what I do,or a het-erosexual-gone-wild.I’m just sexual.Andhappy.”In society today,it is becoming more andmore common—and acceptable—forwomen to kiss each other and claim to bestraight.In fact,it is something of a fashionstatement at the moment for women to kissother women or be bisexual.And men oftenthink it is ‘hot.’However,it is very rare to see men in thesame situation.Take,for example,thebisexual doctor 13 on “House,”or thelack of bisexual men on “The L-word,”aTV show about an LGBT community inLos Angeles.“A lot more women than men identifyas bisexual,”England said.“Why that is isa whole other question.”England’s personal theory relates tothe changing nature of gender roles.It isnow more acceptable for men andwomen to do the things that the othergender traditionally did.However,thepush is stronger for women to adopt maleroles,as female roles were often portrayedas inferior.“For women to want women as an objectof sexual desire is kind of doing what menhave always done,”England said.“But it ismuch more stigmatized for men to be bisex-ual.There is a little more permission in thesystem for women than men.”
BIVERSITY
Chrysanthe Tan ‘10,along with girlfriendAlexis Ortega ‘09,is the current co-presi-dent of Biversity,the Stanford group forboth men and women who identify as bisex-ual.As someone who struggled with her ownsexual identity,she has had to come to termswith many of the stereotypes surroundingbisexuality.“Bisexuality can be a stable identity—itis not necessarily just a stepping stone,”Tansaid,“although lots of people do go backand forth on the Kinsey scale.”The Kinsey scale is one of the simplestscales for determining sexuality.Everyone isassigned a number from 0 to 6,with 0 beingpurely heterosexual,6 being purely homo-sexual,and 3 being equally heterosexual andhomosexual,or bisexual.A term such ashomoflexible would refer to people whoidentify as mostly homosexual,but aresomewhat fluid,or a 4-5 on the Kinsey scale.So much of the discussion surroundingbisexuality sounds very abstract and techni-cal—the numerical scales,sociology andevolving gender roles.What effect do thesestudies and stereotypes have on the peoplearound us,the people who might be less—or more—than straight or gay?
TRUE STORIES
Chrysanthe Tan ‘10
Tan had been attracted to girls sincekindergarten,but had always assumed thiswas normal and had heard bad things aboutbisexuals.The first time she kissed a girl,shewas 16 years old and had a boyfriend.Thenshe met a girl at camp.“Growing up,I assumed I was going to bestraight,”Tan said.“After the first time Ikissed a girl,people were pressuring me toidentify myself.I thought that every girl hasthis phase,and that I just needed to get it outof my system.”She ended up deciding she would allotherself a certain number of kisses with thegirl,then stop.Unfortunately this didn’twork,and she was almost kicked out of camp.She has since had a boyfriend whoknew she was bisexual and was okay with it,and is currently dating girlfriend Ortega,who is also bisexual.“I feel like I’m still figur-ing all of this out everyday,”Tan said.“Everynow and then,I’ll beattracted to a guy andremember that it’s notso simple.I want tokeep supporting thebisexual identity.”
Alexis Ortega ‘09
Ortega’s story isa little different.“I think I’ve always hadsome sort of idea that Iwasn’t entirely straight,”Ortega said,“but I was busywith other things.”In high school,she had aboyfriend when she realizedshe was starting to like herbest friend,a girl.“That was the startingpoint,”Ortega said,“but I was-n’t sure if I really wanted tobe bisexual.”After this,Ortegawent through an anti-girl period,until dat-ing Tan at Stanford.“I use bisexuality as something to helpexplain my identity,”Ortega said.“I thinkyou can switch at different points in life.”
Casey ‘10
Casey is another openly bisexual womanat Stanford.“I never thought I was a lesbian becauseI was always attracted to men,”Casey said,“although I had lesbian Barbies as a kid,and that should have been an indicator.Ihave self-identified as bi since I was 16.”Casey’s first kiss was actually with a girl,although she has explored sexual relation-ships with both genders.“I sort of discovered myself with my for-eign exchange student in high school,”Casey said.“You always wonder if it’s aphase.However,I eventually began to thinkthat everyone is bi.There is a sexuality spec-trum,and few people are actually complete-ly at one end or the other.”Since coming to college,Casey has most-ly had relationships with men.“Part of it is that there are so many moreopportunities with guys,”Casey said,“although when I am with one for too long,I miss the other.”
Kelly ‘10
So far,Tan,Ortega and Casey have allbeen women who have been openly bisexu-al for a number of years.Kelly,however,is awoman who only recently came out pub-licly.“It’s all really recent for me,so I’m stilltrying to figure it out,”she said.“The reasonI came out as bi is because I can see myself dating both men and women.I self-identifyas a lover.”Kelly had been in a long-term relation-ship with her boyfriend of many years whenthey broke up this year.Prior to coming outas bisexual,she had only dated men and hadnever really worried about publicly labelingherself as bisexual.“I’ve only dated guys before,but I’vealways kind of known I was bi,”Kelly said.“I never really thought it was an issuebecause I dated guys,but it started bother-ing me more and more.”Kelly recently went on her first date witha girl,and has yet to come out to her par-ents,although she has come out on campus.“I’m afraid to tell my parents becauseI’m afraid they’re not going to believe me,”Kelly said.“We’re really close,but the ‘it’s just a phase thing’ is a little intimidating.”
Robert ‘11
Robert is a man who hasn’t yet come outofficially,either to his family or friends,although he has told some people that he isnot quite straight.“If you had to give me one label,I guessbi would be the best,”Robert said.He first began to suspect that he wasn’tcompletely straight when he was 16.He hadbefriended another guy on his swim team,when he started to realize that he paid moreattention to the friend than the friend paidto him.“I knew something was up and I started
Off-campus study spots
Profs get check-plusfor
looks
, likability
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Wednesday,March 11,2009
The Stanford Daily
F
EATURES
By JESSICA WERTHEIM
T
he library—a place for concentration,papersand problem sets.Unfortunately,it can alsomake you neurotic as hell.“There are creaky chairs in Bender,”said Olivia Haas‘11.“It’s like an echo chamber in there.The truth is Ihaven’t studied in the library all quarter.It’s too quiet inthere.You sit down,and it sounds like fireworks.Unzipyour backpack,and you might as well have brought in a liveband.And good luck if you have any Velcro.”Other students opt not to study in the library simplybecause it is too far away from their dorms.“I’m so lazy,”said Brian Pesin ‘12,“and my desk is muchcloser.”Sterling Camden ‘10 agrees.“The libraries are too far away,and are not open lateenough—except Meyer.Meyer is open,but Meyer is ghet-to,”he said.“It’s more like a tech lab;there aren’t evenbooks in there and there is horrible neon lighting.”Instead,Camden frequents the dining halls when he haswork to do,preferring the supply of unlimited coffee to thecross-campus trek.And then there are those who prefer being completelyoff campus to study.University Avenue is consistently awinner for this crowd.“I actually don’t work well in the library,”said MeghanVinograd ‘11.“It’s a little too quiet and not conducive tothe way I study.But at the same time,when I go off cam-pus,I also can’t be in a place that’s really noisy or has a lotof distractions.I try to find a balance.”For Vinograd,that balance is found at Coupa Cafe.“Coupa is my favorite,mainly because it isn’t too silent,and the noise isn’t overwhelming,”she said.“There is acalm lull of other conversations going on in the back-ground.”“I find that when I’m in a new place,”she added,“itgives me a fresh perspective and focus,which is especiallyhelpful for writing assignments.”Coupa Cafe seems to attract a more permanent crowd,andapparently,some students almost never leave.“Many of the Stanford students who come are herelonger than I am,”said Paulette,the shift manager atCoupa.“They order,usually a coffee or chai,and then will justhunker down for the rest of the day on their laptops.Sometimes a larger group will come in for dinner andgroup studying,usually girls,and they won’t stay longerthan two or three hours,”Paulette added.“But for the mostpart,the students study individually.”Paulette’s co-worker,Diego,Coupa’s barista,remarkedon the greater influx of Stanford students over the last fewdays.“I can usually tell when Stanford students are about totake finals,”he said.“There are always more of them here,and they tend to look heavily caffeinated.”Linn Kuo,owner and manager of University Cafe,is inthe business of providing stressed Stanford students withtheir caffeine fix.“There are always students camped out here,”she said.“They order coffee and a cookie,then work on their lap-tops.”“Some students are here until we close,especially onweekends,”she added with a laugh.“We have to ask themto leave as we are cleaning the counters and closing thedoors.”Anne St.Geme ‘10 is one such weekend studier.“I usually just leave campus on the weekends,”she said.“I have something against cooping myself up in the librarywhen the weather is nice.”Anne is the oldest of six children,so for her,a littlebackground noise is often necessary to be productive.“I often work at Peet’s Coffee in Town and CountryCenter,”she said.“I’m a fuzzy,so I’d say I get my bestwriting and brainstorming done in that sort of environ-ment.”But when it’s crunch time for St.Geme,she resorts toGreen Library,avoiding Meyer at all costs.“I’m really not a big fan of Meyer,”she said.“It kind of smells funny,plus the lighting is awkwardly bright andthere are no comfy chairs.I would rather be in Palo Alto.”Lucky for St.Geme and countless others like her,therestaurant owners on University Avenue seem to enjoythe Stanford students who flock to their businesses.“They are quiet and respectful,and always ordersomething,”Kuo said.“They’re good kids.”
Contact Jessica Wertheim at jessw89@stanford.edu.
By MELANIE SCHEIBLE
“I
went on Facebook to choose my TA[teaching assistant],”said a freshmanwho prefers to remain anonymousbecause he is still enrolled in the section.“I wanted a female,because I can’t payattention to a man.”That freshman is out of luck,though:Scientifically,the classic excuse that “I learn better from someoneattractive”doesn’t hold up.“There is no evidence of students learning betterfrom attractive professors,”said beauty and discrimi-nation expert Deborah Rhode,a Law School profes-sor.“There are only perceived differences.Studentsrate physically attractive professors better,and profes-sors rate physically attractive students better.”Attractive Stanford professors’ high ratings,how-ever,may not be entirely based on biased perceptions.Several of Stanford’s faculty members who are seen asthe most attractive have particularly good relation-ships with their students.From open door policies toactively taking an interest in student life,these facultymembers make students feel respected and comfort-able.“I’m an open book,”said Michael Feola,a post-doctoral fellow in the Introduction to the Humanities(IHUM) program,whose students put him above aseven on the attractiveness scale from one to 10.“Themost interesting people I deal with in the course of thetypical day are my students.”So how does Feola—whose students simply callhim “Michael”or “Feola”—create such talkative anddynamic discussion sections? Feola believes it may bethe laid-back classroom atmosphere that he nurtures.“I’m not really interested in the petrifying heirar-chy,or talking at them,”he said.“A relaxed classroompersonality may have something to do with it.I thinkI’m just interested in what they have to say.”Daniel Porsche ‘12,a student in Feola’s class,agreed.“I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t like MichaelFeola,”he said.“He relates very well to students andgoes the extra mile to summarize points we sometimesmiss in a nice,compressed way.”But let’s be honest,now—what about Feola’slooks? Mai El-Sadany ‘11 recalled the first impres-sions of a current sophomore,who preferred to remainanonymous in order to avoid crossing any student-teacher lines.“We were talking about Feola and how cool he was,and she was like ‘Dude,if that guy asked me to marryhim,I would do it in a heartbeat,’”El-Sadany recalled.Whether it’s his dashing good looks or simply thegenerous way he makes himself available to students,there is no denying the predominance of female stu-dents seeking out Feola’s attention.“Other TFs [Teaching Fellows] give me a hard timeabout the perceived preponderance of female stu-dents who want to speak to me outside of class,”Feolanoted.Feola approves Facebook friend requests from stu-dents,but never initiates them.And he certainlydenies any responsibility for the “Feola is hot/best TFin the world”Facebook group,comprised of 22 mem-bers of the Stanford student body.Other faculty,though,are more inclined to activelyseek out and forge friendships with current students.Donna Hunter,a lecturer in the Program in Writingand Rhetoric (PWR),tries to know all of the studentsin her classes very well.“Nobody loves their students more than I do,”Hunter said.“I’m interested in what they have to say,interested in them as people.With only 15 students ineach of my classes and three required conferenceswith each,I get to know them well.”Treating students as equals and adults is importantto Hunter.“I’m not attached to a hierarchy;I don’t need tohear myself talk,”she said.“If you’re going to call meprofessor,I’m going to call you student.”She can,however,see how friendships with stu-dents may be perceived negatively.“I have as many former students who are now myfriends that are female as male,and I’ve never seen anegative reaction to this from colleagues,”Huntersaid.“I imagine it would be harder,though,for maleteachers.I don’t know if a male teacher could get awaywith the hug I require from each student at the end of the quarter.”Empathy seems to be a common trait amongstStanford’s best-looking faculty.While Hunter sympa-thized with the predatory stereotypes associated withmales,Feola identified a supposed double standard inappearance.“The way that women are criticized for being suc-cessful because they are attractive rather than smart isa complete double standard,”Feola said.“No matterhow good-looking a guy is,the system is set up so he is judged by his talent,whereas women are always facedwith some kind of tension between being pretty orsmart and not both.”Some women in academia choose to dress especial-ly conservatively,wearing little makeup and choosingunremarkable hairstyles.According to Rhode,though,these women in academia are in the minority.“Appearance matters less in our occupation than itdoes in many others,”she said.Hunter said she has encountered this double stan-dard on rare occasions,noting that “there have been
I
STANFORD NO LONGER JUICY:
Gossip Web site shuts down, life goes on
I
CODING LIKE BUNNIES:
Computer science students tackle infamous BunnyWorld project
ONLINE @ WWW.STANFORDDAILY.COM
MASARU OKA/The Stanford Daily
During dead week, many students ditch the library and hit the books at coffee shops like Peet’s in Town and Country.
Please see
PROFS
,page 3
T
RUE
L
IFE
:
“I’m Bisexual”
Please see
BISEXUAL
,page 3
CRISBAUTISTA/The Stanford Daily
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