Juking the Stats By /u/runnerag

INT. OPERATING ROOM A bloodied and burned man is lying on the table, writhing in agony as DR. SMITH (70s, graying) is operating on him with some basic tools. DR. SMITH Nurse, hold him still! A MIDDLE-AGED NURSE pins the mans arms down to the table. Her gloves slip on some of his charred skin, flaking some of it of. DR. SMITH God dammit! We cant afford any mistakes! NURSE So sorry, Doctor. BURNED MAN GYAHHH! EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD - NIGHT A man in a business suit is power walking down the sidewalk, a BRIEFCASE in his hand. He makes it to a crossing light just as the red hand symbol pops up. SUITED MAN (to himself) Always late, always late. He checks his watch. INT. OPERATING ROOM The EKG on a nearby shelf is pulsing every few seconds. DR. SMITH Hes stable, for now. NURSE Sir, he cant stay like this for much longerDR. SMITH Really? You think that needs to be said?

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2.

NURSE I only meantDr. Smith holds his SCALPEL up. He lowers his voice to an angry whisper. DR. SMITH Ive kept countless people alive with only this. Since before you were fucking professors to get through med school, Ive prolonged hundreds of lives. (beat) Fucking hell, where is he?! EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD - NIGHT The suited man is pacing impatiently. As soon as the little white man appears on the crosswalk indicator, he jogs across the intersection. He steps over a NEWSPAPER on the street, with the headline: DR. ARNOLD SMITH UNDER MALPRACTICE INVESTIGATION INT. OPERATING ROOM Dr. Smith is leaning against a wall. The EKG begins to flatline, beeping the emergency. DR. SMITH Shit, were running out of time. Go see if hes here, we need that equipment. NURSE Who did you say Im looking for? DR. SMITH A goddamn pterodactyl. The nurse stares at him blankly. DR. SMITH Jesus Christ, they let any dumb cunt work here now. Learn sarcasm, and pay attention. Henry. Abrams. NURSE Right.

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3.

DR. SMITH You have no idea who that is. NURSE Well... DR. SMITH Just look for a man in a fucking suit, darling. INT. HOSPITAL LOBBY The suited man is standing at the assistance desk where a clerk is helping him. CLERK Do you have an appointment with him? SUITED MAN Hes expecting me. CLERK I cant let you see the doctor without an appointment. NURSE Henry! Abrams! The man turns to see the nurse approaching. HENRY Take me to him. INT. OPERATING ROOM Dr. Smith hunches over the burned man with his scalpel, cutting away burned and scarred flesh and applying ointments here and there. The man convulses. The EKG is running wild. DR. SMITH Dont you die on me! Dont you fucking die! The door slams open. Henry Abrams sprints over to the table, followed by the nurse.

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4.

DR. SMITH Finally! Did you bring the equipment? HENRY Doctor, are you sure this one needs the treatment? DR. SMITH Hes beyond what I can do with my tools. HENRY Very well. Stand clear. Henry sets his briefcase on the counter. Flips the locks. Rummages through some papers. Pulls out an object wrapped in a sterile gauze. Henry waits for one more nod from Dr. Smith. He gets it. The gauze falls away. BANG The bullet is fired directly into the mans chest. He goes limp, and the EKG reflects his death. HENRY Technology sure is a bitch. Dr. Smith turns to the horrified nurse, smiling and jerking his thumb towards Henry. DR. SMITH You see that? Ive got a helluvan attorney.