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m ust tell it to you before you go," K evin said at our fourth and w hatwas to have been o u r la st m e e tin g . " F o r m e it sy m b o liz e s G o d 's in v o lv e m e n t in th e w h o le a ffa ir. I t w a s ju s t to o m u ch of a c ~ in c id e n c e ." ~

H e w ent o n , "I rem em ber how we used to pray fo r G od to protect the farm ers. I know , b e c a u s e th e p a re n ts o f th e g irlfrie n d I h a d w h e n I w as in th e a rm y h a d b e e n k ille d b y terro rists. T h e farm ers w ere having-I

a n d th e ir w iv es in th is h o u s e , a n d th e y w e re h a v in g d rin k s a n d s ta n d in g a r o u n d in th e lo u n g e . T h e te rro ris ts h a d d e c id e d to h it th e fa rm h o u s e a n d h a d c u t a h o le in th e se c u rity fe n c e . T h e y c ra w le d th r o u g h in to th e g a rd e n , a n d o n e g u y fire d a ro c k e t. I t w as s u p p o s e d to e x p lo d e o n im p a c t w ith a h o llo w c h a r g e a n dc a n y the whole blast forward.It should have blown a hole through the wall and filled the w h o le r o o m w ith s h r a p n e l a n d k ille d ju s t a b o u t e v e r y o n e.. ..B u t it d id n 't g o o ff. T h e ro c k e t w e n t th ro u g h th e ro o m

a t a b o u t c h e s t le v e l w ith o u t h ittin g a n y o f th e p e o p le th e re a n d o u t th ro u g h th e o th e r w all in to th e g a rd e n w h e re it e x p lo d e d . N ow a fte r th e y had fired the rocket, the terrorists ran out of the garden an d w aited in the bush to see w h a t d a m a g e th e y h a d c a u s e d . T h e y c a m e to th e re a liz a tio n th a t s o m e th in g h a d g o n e w ro n g... .S o th is te rro ris t d e c id e d to fire a n o th e r ro c k e t. H e p ro m p tly fix e d a n o th e r o n e [ o n to th e la u n c h e r] a n d fire d it, fo rg e ttin g h e w as s ta n d in g in fro n t o f th e se c u rity fe n c e . H ittin g th e fe n c e th e ro c k e t im m e d ia te ly e x p lo d e d , k illin g h is th r e e b u d d ie s . H e w as b a d ly w o u n d e d , b u rn t. W e f o u n d h im

there the next day.So,as a result, none of the farm ers w ere killed an d all of the terrorists w ere accounted for. I suppose w ith all th e a d re n a lin a n d th e h e a t o f th e m o m e n t, h e h a d fo rg o t h e w as s ta n d in g in f r o n t o f th e fe n c e . F o r m e th is w as a te s tim o n y o f G o d 's p ro te c tio n o f th e fa rm e rs... .T here are s o m a n y o f th o s e s to rie s I c o u ld k e e p o n te llin g y o u ," K ev in c o n c lu d e d . " I'v e e v e n th o u g h t o f w ritin g a b o o k ."

d u r in g m y s tu d y o f w h ite S o u th A fric a n s in th e e a rly 1 9 8 0 s. H e , h is w ife B a rb a ra , a n d th e ir tw o c h ild r e n liv e in a little r a n c h h o u s e in a v illa g e n e a r C a p e T o w n . K e v in d o e s n o t c a ll h im s e lf a Z im b a b w e a n because he left Rhodesia before it becam e Zim babw e.Ab o y is h -lo o k in g m a n o f 2 4 , h e is o f m id d lin g in te llig e n c e a n d s e e m in g ly little d e p th . H e is ta ll, h e a v y se t, d o e s n o t s e e m to b e a b le to s it s till. H e c o n tro ls a te n d e n c y to p u t o n w e ig h t by b o d y b u ild in g . H e h a s tu r n e d h is g a ra g e in to a g y m n a s iu m a n d c o v e re d its w a lls w ith p h o to g r a p h s o f w e ig h t- lifters. "Y ou can never beat the iron," h e says. "Y ou're alw ays aw are of your w eakness. You can always add another w eight.There's no sense of pride am ong bodybuilders. T h e y 'r e

le a d a l i e a k in to th a t o f C h ris tia n ity ." K ev in s e e s n o c o n tra d ic tio n b e tw e e n b o d y b u ild in g a n d b e in g a p re a c h e r. H e has even thought of opening a com m ercial gym nasium .D espite the rules his church im poses-no

a p p e a r s a t e a s e w ith life a n d w ith th e fo ib le s o f o r d in a r y p e o p le lik e h im s e lf a n d th o s e in h is c o n g re g a tio n . W ith respect to his parishioners' guilt over prem arital sex-'T hey

K e v in d o e s n o t lik e p a s to ra l c o u n s e lin g , th o u g h h e tra v e ls m o r e th a n 5 ,0 0 0 k ilo m e te rs a m o n th v is itin g p a ris h io n e rs a n d p ro s e ly tiz in g . H e lik e n s h is itin e r a n t m in is try to P a u l's . H e him self prefers preaching. H e spends hours each day praying,w aiting to receive the w ord of G od, an d though he is as capable of quoting scripture as any preacher in his c h u rc h , h e p re fe rs to p re p a re h is se rm o n s th ro u g h m e d ita tio n a n d in sp ira tio n ra th e r th a n th r o u g h s tu d y . H e is , in fa c t, a n ti-in te lle c tu a l a n d c ritic iz e s h is b r o th e r , a u n iv e rs ity g r a d u a te w ith w h o m h e c o m p e te s , fo r b e in gb o o k is h .

K e v in 's f a th e r is a n A n g lic a n p rie s t, a n A frik a n e r w h o , h a v in g le ft th e D u tc h R e fo rm e d C hurch,was ostracized by his fam ily.H e m oved to R hodesia an d never bothered to teach h is s o n s A frik a a n s . H e is a p ra c tic a l, d o w n -to -e a rth

w ho does not com m and a u th o rity b u t is lik a b le . K e v in 's m o th e r h a d b e e n a d a n c e r b e fo re s h e " to o k to h e r b e d " w hen

u n h a p p y c h ild h o o d . H e r m o th e r w as a c ru e l d is c ip lin a ria n , b e a tin g h e r u n til s h e b le d . " O n c e s h e tie d h e r u p a n d lo w e re d h e r in to a w e ll." H e r f a th e r w as a p p a re n tly a r a th e r in e ffe c tu a l m a n .

K evin was raised by A frican servants.Ihave seen his photograph at four years old, s u r r o u n d e d by a b o u t th irty b la c k c h ild re n . H e is v e ry m u c h th e m a s te r. H is fa m ily m o v e d around a lot,and Kevin w ent to 13schools.H e never graduated from secondary school. D u rin g a d o le s c e n c e h e liv e d in a v illa g e in " te rro ris t" te m to r y . O f th e 1 2 w h ite te e n a g e rs th ere, K evin tells m e w ith little em otion, 4 of th e 5 boys w ere killed by terrorists an d 1 of th e7g irls h a d h e r le g s b lo w n o ff. K ev in n e v e r tra in e d fo r th e m in is try in a n y fo rm a l w ay. H e sees him self as a m an of action, an d despite the "passivenway h e prepares his s e rm o n s , p re a c h in g is a m a tte r o f a c tio n fo r h im . H e g e ts c a m e d aw ay by it. H e is in fa c t "a bundle of energy" an d just as his overly developed body seem s to burst out of his clothes, so his "spirit" seem s to burst o u t of his body. H e know s his charm an d has lived by it. H is s to rie s a r e p a r t o f th a t c h a r m , a n d h e lik e s to te ll th e m .

the Poetl o Daydream ing, Freud distinguishes "poets w ho, like the bygone creators of epics and tragedies, take over their m aterial ready-m ade,and those w h o s e e m to c re a te th e ir m a te ria l s p o n ta n e o u s ly n (1 9 6 3 b 3 3 9 ).T h e la tte r, m o re th a n th e f o r m e r , w h o s e " in d e p e n d e n c e " is lim ite d to " th e c h o ic e o f m a te ria l," re s p o n d to a s tro n g e x p e rie n c e

c h ild h o o d ) a n d a w ish th a t is fu lfille d in th e c re a tiv e w o rk (F re u d 1 9 6 3 b :4 1 ).T h e re s u lt h a s e le m e n ts o f b o th th e p ro v o k in g o c c a s io n a n d th e m e m o rie s p ro v o k e d . H e re , a s e ls e w h e re in h is tr e a tm e n t o f lite ra tu re , a n d , I w o u ld stre ss, th e c o n fid e n c e s th a t o c c u r in th e p s y c h o a n a ly tic h o u r-th e

ig n o re s g e n r e a n d o th e r lite ra ry a n d c o m m u n ic a tio n a l c o n v e n tio n s . T h e d is tin c tio n b e tw e e n o rig in a l, s p o n ta n e o u s w rite rs a n d th o s e w h o m a k e u s e o f re a d y -m a d e m a te ria l is s im p lis tic , f o r e v e n th o s e w rite rs w h o a p p e a r to b e m o s t o rig in a l a r e in fa c t c o n s tra in e d by la n g u a g e , e x p re s s iv e c o n v e n tio n s , a n d lite ra ry h e rita g e . T h e s e c o n s tra in ts a re s tru c - tu ra l, p ra g m a tic , a n d a x io lo g ic a l. E v en th e m o s t a v a n t-g a rd e w rite r is c a u g h t, w h e th e r b y