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Here are some articles written by Susan Polyotfrom previous issues of 
Encore Bride Magazine
, an online magazineof thoughts, reflections, suggestions andopinions for re-wedding brides.A current edition of this online magazine can befound at
encorebridemagazine.com
 You may contact Susan at
admin@encorebridemagazine.com
.We are very interested in hearing from you
!
What do you think of these articles? Let usknow.
 
 
Gifts: Thanks or No Thanks?
The "gifts issue" can be difficult for encore brides. Itcomes down to this: What do you do about receivinggifts from wedding guests? Do you go through theregistry process, do you tell people you want to forgogifts altogether, or do you sidestep the issue, donothing at all, and get what you get?The answer depends largely on your personalsituation. Some encore brides are well equipped withhousehold items. They've already got their silver andchina, and are established in their home. Others, bycontrast, have left their previous marriage with verylittle and are literally starting over. In some cases, thegroom, or his family, may want to participate in atraditional registry, particularly if he has not beenmarried previously. You've got to start by assessingyour situation, and decide accordingly, keeping in mindthat registries are designed to help new couplesestablish their home. If your friends and family boughtyou a fine china service for eight two years ago whenyou got married, you may want to pass up thetraditional registry now. Manners and good tastetrump all.If you don't need to establish a home, then don'tregister. But, if you want your guests to know whichitems you and your groom are going to need as youmerge households, registering can be a very good idea.Since you re not just starting out, you likely have some basics. Perhaps you don't need another toaster or  blender, but you could use some cookware. That'swhere registering comes in handy. But if you decide toregister, it is never in good form to include this
 
information with your invitation, despite what theregistry service told you. It is becoming quite popular for larger department stores to "assist" you by providing registration announcements as an invitationinsert. This is to help you get things you need, theysay. It is to boost their sales, I say. A weddinginvitation should never be a plea for gifts. It is aninvitation to share in your celebration. Tradition hasmade weddings gift giving occasions, but consider howtacky it is to suggest that a gift is necessary when youextend the invitation.As in any wedding, friends and family should be theones to answer the question of where are youregistered. Regardless of your decision on gifthandling, don't let being an encore bride trample proper etiquette.For a number of reasons, an encore bride may decideshe prefers to have no wedding gifts. She may feelawkward about having guests bring gifts to an encorewedding, or she may be well established enough in her own home that the presence of friends and family isgift enough. Again, any mention of gifts in your invitations, either for or against, is not in keeping withetiquette. Instead, you can spread the word by voicingyour preference through family and close friends. Butif a gift is presented at the reception, accept itgraciously…and remember to write a prompt andgracious thank you note.One exception to this rule, I believe, is the weddingthat is a small gathering exclusively attended by closefriends and immediate family. In that case—and Iknow I'm bucking convention here—you could
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