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4 Nanny vs. Granny

4 Nanny vs. Granny

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Published by Elizabeth Breed
September 21, 1987
September 21, 1987

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Published by: Elizabeth Breed on Aug 08, 2013
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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Nanny vs. Granny 
September 21, 1987. Shakespeare is in the back, unseen, in the shadows. Harry is sitting on thecouch, coughing. He is ill. Lucy enters, she is carrying a cup of soup.
LUCY. Harry.HARRY. Hi, Lucy.
LUCY. I thought you’d be at 
HARRY. I didn’t want to get the girls sick, and Mary was nice enough to…
(he has a coughing fit.)
LUCY. Cough all over her house?HARRY. Pretty much.LUCY. Where are they now?
HARRY. Mary took Nellie to her dance class. They’ll be back in a bit.
LUCY. How’s your fever?
 HARRY. Last I checked, it was 102.3.
LUCY. Oh, sweetie… I mean…
I made you some soup.
HARRY. Are you sure that my mother in law didn’t make it an you put it in a bowl?
 LUCY. No, I totally made it. I opened the can, put the wa
ter in, you know. I’m a master chef!
HARRY. It’s good. Thank you.
 LUCY. The second load of laundry is in the dryer, Nellie has been bathed and is down for
her nap, and all the recycling is sorted. Now, I want you to sit back and relax and I’ll
take care of everything.HARRY.
You know you don’t have to take care of me.LUCY. Come on, I don’t mind. You’re a good dad and you deserve to have a day to relax.HARRY. You think I’m a good dad?
 LUCY. I do. I really do. You have a three year old daughter who adores you, and I adore
 HARRY. You adore me?
LUCY. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that… that’s wrong. I’m sorry.HARRY. Is that why you’re taking care of me?
LUCY. No… no, I really… I care about you.
HARRY. You do?
LUCY. I’ve only known you for what… oh wait… Harry…
 HARRY. What?
LUCY. Today’s our anniversary.
Our anniversary?
LUCY. Uh… yeah, it’s stupid. But a year ago today…we met. Right here… on this couch…
 HARRY. Oh yeah? Right here?LUCY.
Right here. You don’t 
(Harry sneezes violently.)
Oh, Harry, you’re burning
up. We have to break that fever of yours. Bundle up.
(She wraps a blanket around him, and lingers.)
There. Isn’t that better?
HARRY. Much. I wish…
 LUCY. You wish what?HARRY. I wish that Matilda were here.
LUCY. She’s at work.
HARRY. I know.LUCY. Do you feel better?HARRY. A little.LUCY. Harry, can I tell you a secret.
HARRY. I’d be careful about the kinds of secrets you tell in this house.
LUCY. Right. About htat… obviously what you have with Matilda is amazing, but… how
strong is it?HARRY. What do you mean?LUCY. She has Shakespeare? An imaginary friend.
HARRY. She’s had him since she was a kid.
LUCY. And she’s not a kid anymore. She’s a real live woman with a husband and I
kid and a
mortgage. And needs, and… a job she loves…
HARRY. What are you trying to say, Lucy?
LUCY. Harry… Mr. Rhodes… Harry…
HARRY. Lucy…
LUCY. I don’t want to cause anything, but my secret… my secret is…
(She leans in to Harry.)
HARRY. What are you doing?
HARRY. You shouldn’t do that.
LUCY. Oh… I’m sorry. I just thought that you…
HARRY. I just don’t want to get you sick.
LUCY. I don’t care about that. I make excellent soup.
 HARRY. Then kiss me.
(Hesitant, she does. At that moment, Granny walks through the door.She stops, and Harry and Lucy abruptly part.)
Oh, well… it looks like your fever’s breaking. Hello, Mrs. Asher.
GRANNY. Lucy. How’s my son
-in-law?LUCY. I think his temperatures down a bit.
GRANNY. You know that’s not how you’re supposed to check, right?
 LUCY. Right. I knew that.GRANNY. Hello, Harry.
HARRY. Mary…
GRANNY. Lucy, Nellie’s outside. She’s going to need her bath before her mother picks her
up. Would you mind?LUCY. Of course not.GRANNY. Thanks so much, dear.
(without another word, Lucy leaves. Granny turns to Harry and is silent for a few moments.)
So… fever broken? I don’t assume that’s the onlythink of yours that’s broken.
HARRY. Mary, I can explain
 GRANNY. What? Hallucinations? Your sweat blind
ed you? Maybe you’re not even sick at all.
 HARRY. She came on to me.GRANNY. And you let her.

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