UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL

THE SECOND TIME AROUND

SIRI ATMA SINGH KHALSA, M.D. ESPANOLA, NM

MARRIAGE IS THE CARRIAGE THAT TAKESYOUTOGOD. ThisiswhatYogi Bhajantaughtmein1979anditiswhat I believe now. Trusting in God, I did not pursue a wife, but rather I consolidated my spiritual practice,

prepared myself for marriage and let Godtakecareoftherest.WhenIwas marriedandfoundthatmypersonalsadhanawouldleadtosuchrapidpersonal change that we would grow apart, I set my personal pace to match my spouses. Thus I verified that personal sacrifice always leads to spiritual growth. Eventually I was forced to choose between performing my duty and preservingmymarriage.WhicheverchoiceImadethepersonalcostwasgoing to be high. I chose what I felt was the highest good, but I lost a 20 year relationship,mychildrenwhereforcedthroughadivorce,andmydreamsofa single cozy grandparents home was destroyed. Worse still, my trust in a partnershipwasdestroyed.Mydistrustmadeconstructinganewuniondifficult formynewpartner,thoughconstantloveandnurturingeventuallyhashealed thispain. Ilearnedthatnomatterhowgoodorbadarelationshipmaybe,thereisno substitute for time spent together. This being said, relationships are a lot easierwhenyoubothnotonlylovebutalsorespecteachother.Withmynew partner we have both merged deeper in four years than our 20year prior marriages afforded. Why? We both already knew how to serve and sacrifice, whentoleadorfollow.Webothknowhowtohealandstrengtheneachother.

MARRIAGE ON THE SPIRITUAL PATH

UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL

Creating a new relationship after divorce takes a different set of skills than startingfresh.Besideslosingmytrustinpartnerships,Iwasntsurehowmuch I really wanted or needed a new relationship. The dream of having children andcreatingacozyfamilyfreeofdivorcewasgone.Whatcanwedoforeach other?becamethefocus. WebothwanttoliveandshareYogiBhajansteachingswithequalintensity. Our marriage has evolved around healing our wounds and enhancing our strengths. We are both good selfnurturers, but we prefer to nurture each other instead. It is more fun to pass your daytoday in giving rather than hasslingandhustling. TheSiriSinghSahibsteachingsareselfappliedtogrant us the power to serve others as well as each other and ourselves, just as we are. YogiBhajantestedusbothandthatisnice.Weknowhowtosacrificeand shareandwhentorelaxandplay.Werespectourstrengthsandourweakness. Wespendourtogethertimeenjoyingandexpressingouruniqueidentitiesnot seekingsatisfactionofourpersonalneeds. Our shared commitments built trust, bore intimacy, and then a merging of souls.IfeelblessedthattheSiriSinghSahibtaughtmetocommit,trust,and sacrifice. This allowed me to merge with him and it allows me now to merge withmywife,NamKaur.Asuccessfulmarriagerequiresthesametoolsasthe spiritualpathandpromisesthesamerewards,mergerofonesoulwithanother,
1 2 Atma intoParmatma .

MarriageisnotaboutwhatIhaveorwhatyouhave.ItisnotaboutwhatI amorwhatyouare.Marriageisaboutwhatwecanbebyjoiningourpolarity.

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IndividualSoul UniversalSoul

MARRIAGE ON THE SPIRITUAL PATH

UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL

When the goal of marriage is to obey the soul in purity and piety then union must occur, because there is only one Soul. If I merge into my soul or your soulorthehighestSoul,itisalloneSoul,oneCreation.IfIliveforyouandI serve your soul and I merge into your soul, I escape the pit of Spiritual Ego whereIserveonlymysoul. MarriageisthepersonalandpublicdeclarationthatIwillservethisothersoul unto Infinity. We will sink or swim together. Thatis the real spiritual test of marriage. It is not our earthly success or failure that pleases God, but our abilitytocommitandsacrifice.Marriageisthusapracticegroundformerging withallsouls.Wecommittomergewithonesoulandwhateverittakes,thatis thesacrificewemake.Thesecretistoconstantlynurturethehighestaspectof oursexualpolarity,ourpartner,becauseittakestwowingstofly.
Dr. Siri Atma Singh served as one of the Siri Singh Sahibs personal physicians. He gave up his personal medical practice to devote himself fulltime to the care of his Teacher.

MARRIAGE ON THE SPIRITUAL PATH