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AM 2013 Frederick Study

AM 2013 Frederick Study

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Published by: LaurenEvans on Aug 13, 2013
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12/19/2014

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WHO PAYS FOR DATESRunning Head: WHO PAYS FOR DATESWho Pays for Dates?Following versus Challenging Conventional Gender Norms
 
Janet Lever Department of Sociology, California State University, Los AngelesDavid A. Frederick 
 
Crean School of Health and Life Science, Chapman UniversityRosanna Hertz
Department of Sociology and Women‘s Studies, Wellesley College
 
Correspondence to jlever@calstatela.edu.
Dr. Janet Lever, Department of Sociology, CaliforniaState University, Los Angeles, 5151 State University Dr., Los Angeles, CA 90032.
 
WHO PAYS FOR DATES
Abstract
Conventional notions of chivalry dictate that on a ―date,‖ the man pays, whereas egalitarian
ideals suggest gender should not determine who pays for the entertainment expenses. Here weexamine the extent to which people embrace or reject these competing notions. Unmarriedheterosexual participants (
 N 
= 17,607) completed a survey posted on NBCNEWS.com andreported their behaviors and attitudes regarding who
does
and who
 should 
 pay for dates.Consistent with conventional norms, most men (84 percent) and women (58 percent) reportedthat men pay for most expenses, even after dating for a while. Many women (39 percent) wishedmen would reject their offers to pay, and 44 percent of women were bothered when menexpected women to help pay. Nearly half of men (44 percent) said they would stop dating awoman who never pays, and 64 percent of men believed that women should contribute to datingexpenses. The majority of men (76 percent), however, reported feeling guilty acceptingwomen
‘s money. In
terms of behavior, 4 in 10 men and women agreed that dating expenses wereat least partially shared within the first month, and roughly three-fourths (74% of men, 83% of women) reported sharing expenses by six months. Associations of these behaviors and attitudeswith age, income, and education were examined. These data tell us which people are resisting or conforming to conventional gender norms in one telling aspect of dating that historically wasrelated to
the male‘s displaying benevolent s
exism, dominance, and ability to fulfill breadwinner role during courtship.Keywords: Dating, Doing Gender, Undoing Gender, Close Relationships, Gender Norms, MatePreferences
 
WHO PAYS FOR DATES
There has been a dramatic convergence in men‘s and women‘s participation
in thefamily and workplace over the past forty years. Despite this move toward equality, there appearsto be considerable adherence to conventional gender norms. As Ridgeway (2011, p. 185)describes it, there is a cultural lag between our beliefs about gender and the changes in thematerial circumstances between men and women. As England (2010) notes, shifts towardsgender equality in terms of how romantic relationships are organized have been particularlystagnant. Norms based on persisting gender stereotypes are still readily apparent in dating patterns in which the prescribed behaviors for heterosexual men and women differ substantially(Eaton & Rose, 2011; Grazian, 2007; Laner & Vetrone, 2000; Zelizer, 2005).
Dating Norms Among Adults
Recent studie
s of initiating intimate unions have put the spotlight on collegiate ―hookingup‖ in which sexual encounters between casual acquaintances or strangers typically last just one
night (Bogle, 2008; England, Shafer, & Fogarty, 2007). Dating, however, is not a thing of the past. This term is still widely used on college campuses today, typically after 
―hanging out‖
together long enough leads to
―dat
ing
‖ (England, 2013).
Bogle (2008) agrees that on campus the
term ―dating‖ is
later after many hook ups lead to a
couple‘s defining
themselves as boyfriendand girlfriend, but she notes that for many who never get that far, dating may be absent fromtheir college years. Post-college, based on interviews with a small subsample of graduates, Bogle(2008) describes a re
verse: formal ―dating‖ replaces hooking up as is the way to get to know
someone and young adults have money to spend and enjoy going somewhere on their planned
―dates.‖

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