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Divorce

Divorce

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Published by Kate20

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Published by: Kate20 on Jun 04, 2009
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Divorce
It may be helpful to understand a little about how divorce can changevirtually every aspect of a person's life including where a person lives, withwhom they live with, their standard of living, their emotional happiness, their assets and liabilities, time spent with children and other family, and so muchmore. It is important to mention that the divorce rate in the United States is thehighest in the World; it is fifty percent of marriages end in divorce and aconsequence it brings effects in the people who are experiencing a divorce.Today, I am going to tell you the effects of divorce on children, women,education, society, health and the couple who is living a divorce.
Effects of divorce on children:
A study that I did in the University of Minnesota in 2005; I concluded thatdivorce affects children differently, depending on their gender, age and stage of development, in the same way their world, their security and their stabilityseems to fall apart when their parents’ divorce.Children can show negative feelings like:
Fears of abandonment:They worry that their parents don't love themanymore and they feel abandoned. They feel like the parent who left hasdivorced them too. .
Anger: They feel angry although they may not express their anger.
They often feel they are at fault. They may believe something they did or said caused a parent to leave.
Sadness and grief: Divorce is a loss in the lives of children and parents.They experience a grieving process very similar to mourning a death.
Blame and Guilt:Because so much marital conflict may be related to thestress of parenting, children often feel responsible for their parents'divorce--they feel that somehow their behavior contributed to it. This isespecially true when parents fight during exchanges of the children or innegotiating schedules: children see that parents are fighting over them.
Depression:Children exhibit more health, behavioral, and emotionalproblems, and they are involved more frequently in crime and drugabuse, and have higher rates of suicide.Also, in an investigation I did with my colleague the psychologist Dr.Robert Hughes in the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign thisyear, we found three feelings that children can experience in a divorce:
Parental loss:Divorce often results in the loss of contact with one parentand with this loss children also lose the knowledge, skills and resources(emotional, financial, etc.) of that parent.
Economic loss:Another result of divorce is that children living in singleparent families are less likely to have as many economic resources aschildren living in intact families.
More life stress:divorce often results in many changes in children's livingsituations such as changing schools, child care, homes, etc. Childrenoften also have to make adjustments to changes in relationships withfriends and extended family members. These changes create a morestressful environment for children.
 
The same study I did in the University of Minnesota in 2005 showsthe negative behaviors of divorce on children, these behaviors are: problemsin school, nervous habits, repetitive physical behaviors (violence), andregressive behaviors such as bed-wetting, fears, and use of comfort items.They may think they have to "take care" of their parents. Giving upone's childhood to care for emotionally troubled parents is a commoncharacteristic in children of divorce.
Effects of divorce on women:
In a book that I wrote with the psychologist Richard R. Peterson in 1989,called: “Women, work and divorce”, we argued about how a marriage
 
that hasled to a divorce, has a deep impact on the mind of the woman, leaving her tired,insecure, mentally and physically weak.Women can experience the effects of divorce in different ways, for example: When women lose their self esteem,women may be affected by feeling insecure. With no one around to comfortthem at such a crucial stage, a sense of insecurity
 
and guilt
 
overcomes them.Women begin to blame themselves for all that has happened. As a result of which, they suffer from depression. Women begin to question themselves aboutthe challenges
 
that time has set for them. Another effect is the economic well-being, because in most of the cases divorced women have a lower standard of living, and they are more likely to be poor and to receive a public assistance,because woman does not work sometimes and as a consequence, womendepend on the men’s money.
Effects of divorce on society:
Divorce has great effects on society at large. According to aninvestigation I did with my colleague the sociologist David Blakenhorn in 1993 inhis book “Perspectives on Fatherhood” when a divorce occurs in the family,children are living with a single parent, and in most of the cases children livewith their mothers and there is an absence of father. This absence contributesto the deterioration of the society to a large extent. One example of thisdeterioration is that nowadays there is an increased youth crime rate in our society, because a single parent can not work and take care of their children atthe same time.According to sociologist Lenore Weitzman, divorced women get by on about64% of the income they had during marriage. For their children, this translatesinto less money for school activities, clothes, opportunities for traveling andlearning, day care and sometimes food. Children can be called on to do adulttasks before they are ready, like caring for younger siblings. Older children maybe required to work long hours at a job to help bring money to the family. As aresult, they may fall behind in their school work. After a while, the child may feelit is hopeless to try to keep up and decide to quit school and to find easy way toget money. Also, it is important to mention, other effect of divorce on society asa consequence to quit school, it is the use and abuse of drugs and children,according to the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth in USA. Certainly our "fatherless society" cannot be blamed for all juvenile delinquency but it is amajor contributor for the drastic male role in our society, in which father canyield the power to invoke fear among children. This sounds bad but it isn't. Of course, the father can be friendly and loving but never underestimate the power of fear to keep them in line.

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