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Speech_divorce - Rafa

Speech_divorce - Rafa

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Published by Kate20

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Published by: Kate20 on Jun 04, 2009
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05/11/2014

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Attention Getting Opener Marriage is one of the most important stages in our lives. Feelings such as loveand respect for each other are very common in this stage. However, duringmarriage, there might appear disagreements or conflicts that could lead todivorce. Divorce does not have to be the only solution; there are somealternatives that can help couples solve a problem. I will focus on 3 possiblesolutions to avoid divorce. They are dealing with conflicts adequately,establishing a balance between work and marital life, and seeking professionalhelp.Dealing with conflicts adequatelyA marriage is characterized by love and mutual respect for each other.However, it would be difficult to sustain a marriage believing that live wasalways going to be a “bunch of roses” all of the time.In most of marriages, there might be occasional conflicts or disagreementsabout diverse kinds of issues. However, it is possible for couples to solve themby communicating each other openly and being prepared to make sacrificesand compromises.According to the book Marriage Fitness, which was written by the psychologistMort Fertel and me in 2002 the best way to deal with conflicts adequately isbeing respectful. That means the couple has to show respect towards eachother. Besides, it is important to be quiet and listen to the spouse, so that he or she can finish what he or she is saying without any interruption. Additionallywhen a spouse complains about something or express how he or she feels, it isadvisable to pay close attention to what he or she is saying and not to go on adefensive attitude.Based on Family Dinamics Institute, it is advisable not to make assumptionsabout what a spouse is thinking, saying or doing. If a spouse is not clear aboutanything, he or she might ask the other person to explain things more dearly.Furthermore, it is important to avoid generalizations such as always or never ina disagreement since most of them are unfair and untrue.Moreover, in order to deal with conflicts satisfactorily, it is important not to usederogatory names and put labels on your spouse. That means a spouse can notlabel the other person describing him or her as fat, lazy or by using otheoffensive words. Instead, tell the spouse how something he or she has donehas made you feel in order to solve the disagreement successfully.In case a conflict can not be solved in the moment the couple could take a timeout to think and reflect before finding a good solution. A spouse could tell theother person that she/he is going to leave things there for now and talk againabout that disagreement in other moment. This will help to discuss things in acalmer, more rational state.Establishing a balance between work and marital life

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