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Finding Hope at All CostBy: Ronald F. Brown3/8/2007Transfixed on the distorted reflection as the elevator doors closed, Karen felt her world crashing in onher. Flashes in her mind of Earl’s words played in an echoing loop, “I’m sorry Karen there is nothing Ican do.” A single tear trying to hold back slowly makes its way down her left cheek as the distortion inthe metal reflection flashes Karen’s face playing silently the same words echoing “nothing I can do”.She pulls her right hand which held a crumbled Kleenex in her shaking hand to her face to wipe thetear so no one would notice her pain when the door would open on the ground floor. The weight of hersituation caused her to lean back on to the back rail of the elevator. As a ding noise rang to alert herto the ground floor arrival, Karen watched as her blurred existence separated with the opening of thedoors. Taking a moment to gather the strength to exit the elevator, a very sharply dressed man withthe most amazing looks walked into the elevator and said to Karen, “Miss, are you getting off here?” Karen still in a daze said, “Huh, yea, sorry.” The very handsome stranger said, “Are you ok?” Karenquickly replied as she moved quickly toward the door, “No”, and quickly stumbled to exit the elevator.The stranger grabbed her arm and looked her in the eyes, “Miss, is there anything I can do?” Shebarely hearing his words pulled away from his hand and focused on the parking garage ahead to findher vehicle. The man in the elevator said, “Sorry, I was only trying to help.” But Karen with the wait of Earl’s words could barely function let alone notice the compassion of the caring man.Fumbling through her purse to find her keys, Karen reached in and pulled out the key chain which hada keychain with a photo of three people held closely together, it was Karen, Rick and Earl at herwedding to Rick six short years ago. As she stared with free flowing tears at the photo, Earl’s wordsflashed again in her mind, “nothing I could do.” She made her way to her red mini van and pressedthe lock button on her key ring and hastily opened the driver’s door. Throwing her purse on thepassenger seat, she sat down and she laid her head back against the head rest and let her tears flow.Her pale lips trembling from the flood of emotions and again Earl’s words “nothing I could do” echoedin her mind. She pressed the lock button and reached for Rick’s T-shirt from the back seat that he left just yesterday and held it to her face. Taking a deep breath to try to take in the smell of his cologneand perhaps a little of his essence, she flashed to the last tender kiss they had shared twenty-fourhours ago. “Oh Rick, what am I going to do now.” Having not slept since the day before, Karenreached the recline button on the driver’s seat brining it back to an incline position curling up on herside with the shirt still close to her face. She slowly fades into a much needed sleep not caring thatshe was in the parking garage of St. Mary’s hospital. As slumber takes over Karen’s five-foot sixframe, her beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes seek only to rest for a short time.Her mind still taking in Rick’s cologne and Earl’s words, “nothing I could do” cause Karen to fade into adark place. She sees flashes of her wedding day with Rick. The tender kiss at the alter at St. Peter’sChurch, the loving pushing of wedding cake in each other’s faces at the reception and the birth of Steven their first child only two short years ago. Flashes of their long walks on the beach last summerwith loving hand holding as the water moved between their toes. The look upon their friends facesonly last month at a surprise anniversary party Rick arranged, seeing all the love that was in theirlives. A flash to a tender kiss only last week as they were in the Bahamas on vacation. As the kissends, Karen mumbles “What am I going to do without you?” Sleep takes over her restless mind fromshear exhaustion.Hours went by in an instant and Karen awoke to Earl tapping on the window. She jerked with surpriseat this sound. “Karen” Earl said. Karen clicking the lock to the door opened it up to find Earl’s handoutstretched to help her out of the car. “Oh Karen” he said. Karen having known Earl since she firstmet Rick seven years earlier, reached out to him for an embrace letting loose the remaining tears as
 
she trembled. Earl quickly moved the hair from her face and said, “Karen, Rick is still in a coma. It isin God’s hands now.” Karen said “Oh Earl, what am I going to do?” Earl with the strong manlypresence he always had said, “Karen, we pray. Rick is a strong man with a lot to live for and I knowthat he wouldn’t give up without a fight. You can’t do anything here. I’ll stay with Rick as my shiftended and call you if there is any change in his condition. You need to go home and take care of Steven.” Karen said, “Earl, how can I leave the hospital? What if he dies while I’m away?” Earl quicklyresponded, “Karen, I managed to stop the clot in his brain and he is on blood thinners. He is not goingto die tonight, or ever if I have any thing to say about it. You need to go home and hold Steven andpray. I promise I will be in his room the whole night. You can see him in the morning. We just need tosee if he comes out of the coma and that is the body’s way of trying to heal itself. Trust me; if Ithought he was going to die tonight, I wouldn’t let you go home.” Karen knowing Earl was always anhonest person at any cost replied, “Earl, I trust you, it is just so hard to leave hear.” Earl quickly said, “I know Karen, Rick knows you love him. Remember, the last thing he saw before he past out wasyour loving face. Go, take care of Steven and I will look after Rick.” Karen torn with her emotions knew Earl had her best interests at heart responded, “Ok Earl, thanksfor being there for Rick. You’re the best brother-in-law in the world; I know Rick always looked up toyou. I’ll go take care of Steven, please call me if anything changes.” Earl taking Karen into his strongarms gave her a hug and said, “You know I will. Give my love to little Steven.” Karen getting back intoher mini van adjusted the seat and starting the mini van, looked one last time at Earl in his scrubswith a loving look waving as she drove away. She kept trying to stay focused on the road but foundher mind thinking of her loving husband with an uncertain fate. As she reached her home she pulledinto the driveway putting her mini van in park and turned the engine off. As she got out of the vehicle,she put her hands on the roof and looked up at the sky seeing a full moon with a caring face lookingback she said, “God, if you can please bring my Rick back to me, you know I need him and Stevenneeds his daddy.” She then dried her tears to compose herself before walking into the house. Karen’s mother Susan wasthere with little Steven in her arms. Karen trying to be brave said, “Hello Steven, Mommy’s home.” Steven, wiggled so that Susan would put him down ran to his mom and gave her a big hug. Karengrabbed him and lifted him in her arms and kissed his cheek. Karen’s mom joined the hug andwhispered to Karen, “Earl called me and told me the latest sweetheart. It’s going to be ok. I know itwill.” Karen trying to stay strong, said, “Mom, I’m going to take Steven upstairs to put in to read himhis bed time story and put him to bed. Can you wait here?” Susan said, “Sweetie, I’m not goinganywhere. I’m here for as long as you need me.” Karen responded, “Thanks Mom. I really need yourstrength.” As Karen climbed the steps with Steven, she kept kissing his neck like she always did whenshe would take him to bed. As she slid him under his covers, she sat down next to him on the bed.Steven looking up at his mom said, “Mommy, where Daddy?” Karen with her bottom lip tremblingcaressed his cheek and said, “Honey Daddy is sleeping now and when he wakes up, he will comehome.” Steven looking at his mom puzzled, “Mommy, Daddy is in bed? Can you wake him to kiss megood night?” Karen said, “No Steven, Daddy is sleeping somewhere else for a little while.” Stevenresponded, “Mommy, I want Daddy.” Karen responded, “Honey, Daddy will be home as soon as hecan. Mommy is going to read some more of the story Daddy was reading you, ok?” Steven said, “Oh,ok mommy.” Karen reaching for the book on the night table opened up the book and found the page which Rick hadplaced a book mark and began to read. “As the moon reached the top of the sky, the light shinedupon the sleeping man under the tree. Love in his heart for all that he held dear made his slumbersweet.” “Daddy” Steven said. Karen trying to hold it together said, “Yes, Steven, he is sleeping likeDaddy.” Steven said, “No mommy that is Daddy.” “Yes, the man sleeping is Daddy.” Karen beganreading the story again, “As the man slept sleeping he was comforted by the love of his wife in a far
 
off land and his little son who waited at home. The sleeping man smiled in his sleep as he thought of the love in his heart.” Steven then closed his eyes and said, “I love you too daddy.” He then fellasleep. Karen kissed his cheek and said, “Night my special boy.” As Karen rose from her son’s bed, she took the book with her down stairs to show her mother whatshe had just read. Susan not sure how to react said, “Karen, I never heard that story before, what isthe book called?” Karen looking to the cover said, “The story of Ricky by James Johnson.” Susan said, “Huh, what happens next?” Karen opened the book and began to read, “As Ricky lay upon the groundhe flashed back to the time he met his wife all those years ago. He remembered her smile and itwarmed his soul as he slept. Mom this is too weird.” Susan said, “Karen, read on.” Karen wanting tosee what happens next read on. “Ricky so in love with his wife and son kept smiling as he filled hismind with all the joy and love he had waiting for him at home. He thought of all the miles betweenhome and where he lay sleeping and started to cry. Raising to his feet in his sleep he began to walktoward his home. All the way he kept remembering his wife’s smile, his son’s hug and all that wasthere waiting for him. As if by the love in his heart he managed to move without wavering to find hisway back to his sweet Rose Petal.” Karen alarmed by what she just read said, “Mom, did you hearthat, he calls her Rose Petal? That is what Rick calls me.” “Oh my, Karen, read on.” Karen encouraged by this strange tale continued, “As Ricky continued his journey, he heard the sweetsounds of the song they had danced to on their first date. The words brought such joy to his travelingsoul. The words played softly in his mind, when I hold you in my arms, I see my world in your eyes,when I see you in my dreams, and I want to wake to find you in my embrace.” Karen knowing thosewords from a song Rick had played on their first date on an old 45. “Momma that is the song Rickplayed me on our first date.” Susan looking with amazement, said, “Karen, please read on.” “As Rickystarted humming the tune in his mind, he began to sway as if to hold his sweet Rose Petal in hisarms.” Karen began to cry as she continued to read, “The sun found its way to rise as Ricky continuedto recall all the love he had known in his soul. The forest grew thick with lilies and honeysuckle whichmet his senses with the wedding to his lovely Rose Petal in the spring.” Karen stopping again said, “Momma, lilies and honeysuckle were in the garden where we got married.” Susan looking upon herdaughter said, “I remember sweetie” as she stroked her daughter’s hair. Karen reaching for hermother’s hand said, “Momma how can this be?” Susan not knowing what to say said, “Karen, I don’tknow but let’s read on.” Karen quickly raised the book to find her place to continue. “As Ricky madehis way to the end of the garden in his mind, He remembered the sweet kiss of his Rose Petal withlong blonde hair and the bluest of eyes. This brought a smile to his sleep walking mind. He thought tohimself, I have to find my Rose Petal again. He then walked past a park where children were playingand heard the sound of his son saying, I love you daddy. This brought a tear of joy to Ricky’s face ashe continued onward to find his way home. His dream kept him on the move all through the day. Herecalled the first time he saw his son when he had been born. He called out his name in his sleep,Steven.” Karen’s eyes, met her mother’s as she kept on reading. “The more he thought about howmuch Steven brought joy to his life with Rose Petal, he walked even faster as his dream continued.” Karen looking at her Mother said, “Mom, can you believe this. When was this book written” Shequickly looked to the beginning, she dropped her jaw as she saw the author wrote this story in 1945. “Mom, how can a story written in 1945 have my life in it?” Susan looking puzzled said, “Karen, whoknows, but read on.” Karen quickly finding where she had left off read on. “Ricky moving onward withsuch joy passed by a stream which had water rippling upon the rocks in its path. Ricky rememberedthe picnic he had with his Rose Petal and son Steven in the spring time.” Karen started crying recallinglast spring how they too had done just that. Reading on, “Ricky’s heart jumped for joy at this memoryas he kept walking onward with the rhythm of his heartbeat. The sun moving past as he continued his journey made its way to the western sky. Though tired his memories draw him onward. He felt thebrush of a willow tree brush against his arm and he recalled the sensation of how his Rose Petal loved
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