• Embed Doc
  • Copy Link
  • Readcast
  • Collections
  • CommentGo Back
Download
 
Opening volley
– the following is the closing paragraph of the 3
rd
section of the autobiography (Book III) when I am summing up my feelings about thevery turbulent year I spent studying in Eretz Israel when I was 21 years old.
As you can tell, this was truly an action packed year and for me, it was quitechallenging. The turbulence of the year was not only physically distracting but itcarried many emotional ups and downs in the package. The East Coast yeshiva that Ihad attended for the previous seven years was in a veritable desert; there was virtuallynothing to do but study. In addition, though it was far from Natwich, it was close to New York, so when there was an open Shabbat, I would visit some relatively closerelative that I could feel comfortable with. Incidentally, my Ponovezh uncle from BneiBrak had been compelled to return to the U.S. “temporarily” (this wound up to lasteighteen years) so he was not currently in Eretz Israel. In America, I had relativesgalore that I would not hesitate to eat in their homes. Here in Israel I had virtually noone. Sure, I had an easy time making friends but the comfort of family was non-existent. I was lonely. It’s amazing that I even got any studying done, but I did. As theyear wound down, I was looking forward to returning to the dull tranquility of theAmerican scene. That was it, I had had enough! I had “seen it all” and learned theropes and I certainly got my money’s worth. At this point, I certainly wasn’tentertaining any ideas about coming back here to live.
 
The following 2 paragraphs are excerpts from Book IV of the autobiographywhich describes my courtship with my intended 5 years later. Herein were thefirst cracks in the foundation:
We saw each other on Tuesday night and, on this date, she started to lay out her cards. She very much wants to go back to Eretz Israel. In fact, she grabbed one of only four available slots to work the following year as a dormitory counselor at theseminary that she was attending so that she could join a more advanced study programin Eretz Israel. When she was accepted for the post, she conceded to the director thatshe expects that she is going to start dating, and asked him if it is fair for her to holdthe coveted spot – what if she goes so far as to get engaged? His response was: “It’san occupational hazard.” So her plan is to go back to Israel if she doesn’t get engaged.And even if she does, she would like to live in Eretz Israel and her husband shouldstudy all day long and he can be a Kollel head or maybe the Rabbi of a synagogue …
And a bit further on:
That week, we invested two more dates, much of which were dedicated to the task of reassuring her that these current developments are merely responses to undesirablecircumstances and do not reflect my true aspirations. I was still expected to make aneffort to salvage some Kollel time. This much I considered to be a no-lose situationregardless of what ultimately emerges, so I had no problem with it. Furthermore, her ambition of eventually settling in Eretz Israel is not to be disregarded and must remainan open item on the agenda. To this it was easy to say that I say my
ani maamins
onmost days and that all Orthodox Jews aspire to eventually settle in Eretz Israel, yourstruly no less. After all, I was brought up as a Zionist, wasn’t I? She said she wasn’tthinking such long term. I assured her that we will monitor events and “take things as
 
they come.” We were both thinking in terms of letting the issue come up for review ona Sabbatical basis. For me this meant once every seven years. For her, it meant onceevery seven days.
The following excerpt is from Book V of the autobiography. Here is where theevents (and my wife) take control. In this section, I mention that we had theopportunity to visit Eretz Israel 3 times over the first six years of our marriage.This narrative picks up immediately after we returned from the 3
rd
trip in 1992.Parts of this excerpt appear in
One Above and Seven Below 
.
In the meantime we had returned to Natwich and that trip was indeed the finalfamily excursion to Eretz Israel for quite some time. I had been proud of myachievement in providing my wife with the opportunity to quench her thirst for theIsraeli experience so many times in the early part of our marriage. This would allowus to maintain a link while we grow as part of the thriving Torah community in Natwich. I was satisfied. Devora wasn’t. She wanted more. And she would delicately bring up the subject now and again. And again – and again – and again...When it did come up I would point out to her that, for the moment, thecircumstances in Natwich are too beneficial to be tampered with. We have acomfortable home, I have job security, adequate pay and a good deal of leeway withmy work schedule (I had a mug in the office with the maxim:
The road to success isuphill unless Daddy owns the company
). We have nice neighbors, we have family, thekids are doing nicely in school, I maintain a steady study schedule, I have a goodrelationship with the community leaders, etc. In short – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.But, as a means of brushing her off and buying a little time, I did say that thingsdon’t remain dreamy forever. So, maybe, someday in the future, I might possibly feeldifferently about this. Like, if she keeps on popping out babies at the current rate, wewill hit a crossroads: we will outgrow the three bedrooms of our house and we willhave to either overhaul it or replace it, tuitions will overwhelm us and, accordingly, Imay need to look for an alternative to being a salaried worker even if it is for thefamily business, and my
chavruta
(study partner), Menashe, will feel like lookingtoward bigger and better things for himself. She asked me when, exactly, will that be?I said that I didn’t exactly say that it will be, but these things are all eventualities thattend to occur and then we can reevaluate…“Like, when?”I glanced at her protruding midsection. “About 3 to 5 years based on past performance.”She marked the date.In the ensuing years, as our roots grew deeper into the native soil, the balance of  power was shifting. After about eighteen years of failing to reestablish himself, myuncle from Ponovezh packed up his wife and remaining (unmarried) children andreturned to Eretz Israel, buying a dwelling in the up and coming chareidi town of Kiryat Sefer. Subsequently, another aunt and uncle from Connecticut took the plungeand wound up in Beitar. Devora’s uncle and aunt, the ones on the 1981 Sabbatical,had purchased an apartment in Har Nof which they were renting out. They announcedthat they were only waiting to marry off the rest of their four daughters and then theywould occupy their place. In short order I had one sister in Jerusalem, one in BneiBrak, the uncles in Kiryat Sefer and Beitar were there and marrying off children, more
 
on the horizon and every relative that relocated to that side of the ocean meant oneless on this side. For me, the landscape was markedly different from my yeshiva year when I was virtually alone.To top all that off, I began to come to Eretz Israel even more frequently – bymyself. This is the beauty of the diamond import business. Our business was to import polished diamonds from their point of manufacture and to distribute them in theUnited States. In the 1980s and 1990s the Israeli Diamond Exchange climaxed as themost active one in the world. My father began entrusting me with the chore of buyingand, as such, I merited a series of trips to Eretz Israel courtesy of Hirshman DiamondImports, Inc. From about 1994 or 1995 I came to Eretz Israel on business trips with amandate from my father to shop for diamonds. My wife only allowed me these business trips if I accepted a mandate to shop for real estate.Finally, in 1996, the two children’s bedrooms were filled to capacity, we had threeK-8 plus one nursery school tuitions with two more on deck, and my
chavruta
and Iwere approaching the final chapter of tractate Chullin. Our firstborn was eight yearsold and was approaching what is known as the aliya “danger zone.” After all mystalling, I knew quite seriously that we are facing a window of opportunity that willonly shrink.In August of that year, I undertook another business trip and, this time, I truly didcome with more than one order of business. Through the assistance of my Bnei Brak  brother-in-law, I merited an audience with Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky, Shlit”a. I told himthat I am an American businessman from Natwich with a growing family and my wifehas been on my case to settle in Eretz Israel
me’az hayita l’frau
.
1
He responded byquoting a Mishna in tractate Ketubot: “All [spouses] can demand immigration to EretzIsrael but not all [spouses] can demand emigration. This applies equally to thehusbands and to the wives.”
2
He did not seem interested in discussing details such aslivelihood prospects, ages of children, or related issues. I thought it would be wise toget a second opinion from one whom I could converse with at length, and in mynative tongue. I approached Rabbi Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg, Shlit”a and presentedthe issue. He didn’t seem to be too interested in particulars either; he merely said that“I am pro Eretz Israel.” I asked him if I do not need to be concerned about the prospects for a livelihood and he said that if I make sure to distribute a respectableamount of 
tzedaka
(charity) I should not be concerned. So much for lengthyconversations. To make one final stab at a dissenting vote, I approached the Rebbe of Gur, Shlit”a. No dice. He did nothing more than wish me
hatzlacha
(success). The bout had gone 15 rounds and Devora won by a 3-0 decision. Despite this, there wasone permanent member of the [job] security council who retained veto power – Dad.
 
My father had always been aware of my wife’s pro-Israel inclinations so it was nosurprise to him when I told him that we actually want to go. There was another reasonthat he wasn’t surprised. My place in the business was responsible and authoritative aswell as comfortable as, after all, I was the crown prince. My official title wasExecutive Manager. It was my father’s show and he ran it well and it all wentsmoothly as I had no desire or justification for any conflict. I knew my place. It was(and is) both his and my sincere desire that he continue running his show, with G-d’shelp, for as long as possible. Still, I was being groomed to be capable of running myown show, yet, I didn’t have my own show to run. This is a common problem in
1
Pronounced
l’froy
meaning “ever since she was a wife.” Play on words from Exodus 9:24
me’az hayita l’goy
which means “ever since it was a nation.” In the real verse, it is referring to a plague. Here, it is not – is that right,dear?
2
Talmud Bavli Ketubot 111a
of 00

Leave a Comment

You must be to leave a comment.
Submit
Characters: ...
You must be to leave a comment.
Submit
Characters: ...