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"Alone But Never Lonely"Most of us are alone at some time or another . . . even in a marriage, in acourting relationship, or when we are single. Alone with deep seated personalissues, alone with our individual thoughts that cannot be communicated to anyone,and alone in our quest to find true meaning with God. Somehow, there are just somethings that we can't share with even the closest friend or marriage partner. Beingalone can either "make" or "break" us. In my experience, being alone has been oneof the most difficult trials to face. I have always built my life aroundrelationships, socializing and good friendships. Now, having to face starting lifein a new country, and another failed relationship, loneliness has been something Ihave had to deal with in an urgent and desperate way. How do we deal with it in away that will "make" us.If we depend on the relationships for ourhappiness, we tend to "take" more from therelationship than "give" to it.What I have come to learn, is that when we rely on romantic relationships, in somecases marriage relationships, and even general relationships for our happiness, wetend to miss out on the deeper and richer ingredients that feed the people we havethose relationships with. In other words, if we depend on the relationships forour happiness, we tend to "take" more from the relationship than "give" to it. Mytimes alone have taught me to depend on God for my happiness and innercontentment. I believe personally, that once we have reached the point where wecan be totally content with God alone, God will supply all our needs forrelationships. As Paul says in Philippians 4:12, 19, "I have learned the secret ofbeing content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whetherliving in plenty or in want . . . my God will meet all your needs according to hisglorious riches in Christ Jesus." In this unique position with God, we will thenbe continuous "givers" to the people with whom we have relationships. What adifference.(God wants us to find happiness alone with Him first, before we look torelationships, interests, academic pursuits, our jobs, or individualaccomplishments for our happiness)Please let me share a few points with you that changed being lonely, to beingalone with God - an honor that many great bible heroes were blessed with, and thatmade them the beacons of truth and inspiration that we know them for. Moses had tospend 40 years alone in the desert before he could lead Israel . . . Joseph wasalone in a foreign country as a slave and then imprisoned . . . David was alone inthe pastures tending sheep . . . John the Baptist was alone in the wilderness . .. Jesus spent 40 days and 40 nights alone in the wilderness before His ministry .. . Paul was alone in Arabia before his ministry . . . John the Revelator wasalone on the isle of Patmos. The following points came to me in my times alone,and in hurt and heartache:1. The War to Control Our ThoughtsThe worst part about being alone is having to deal with our thoughts and memories.
 
When there is no one to talk to, and the silence around us is filled by ourthoughts, what do we think about? Thoughts like, "why am I alone," or "I've beentreated unfairly," or "I wish I had someone special to be with me," or "how do Iget out of this situation I'm in?" keep racing round and round our restless minds.While being alone, I have come to realize that our thoughts are under a constantattack by the forces of evil. If you haven't already read the works of RogerMorneau, please go get a copy of "Incredible Answers to Prayer," from your localAdventist Book Center. He says that, "A satanist priest bragged to me how Satanhad forced the Creator to leave the devil's newly acquired domain. The man saidthat Satan declared that such a demand was his legal right before the universe,and that the devil had gotten his wish."At that time," the priest said, "the master (Satan) stated that he and his angelswould make themselves invisible to human beings also, thus leaving people free tolive their lives as they wanted to. He emphatically argued that the only fair wayfor supernatural forces to influence human conduct should be by flashing thoughtimages into individual minds."(Satan is constantly flashing negative, and discouraging, thoughts into our minds.These thoughts are more severe when we are alone. There needs to be a focusedawareness to counteract his attacks).Yes, there is a war between the forces of Good and Evil for the control of ourthoughts. Being alone makes us an easy target for Satan to hit us with happymemories from the past, to hit us with hurtful thoughts from the past, to hit uswith angry thoughts because of our loneliness, and to hit us with thoughts of lowself esteem for not attracting people toward ourselves. He hits each person withdestructive thoughts uniquely tailored according to the specific experiences intheir lives that will haunt and terrorize them to the point of total despair.Again Paul steps in to clarify this war for the control of our thoughts in 2Corinthians 10:3-5, "For though we live in this world, we do not wage war as theworld does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On thecontrary, they (our weapons) have divine power to demolish strongholds. Wedemolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledgeof God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."Here is the key. Being aware that God and Satan do their work in controlling ourlives, through controlling our thoughts. What is more powerful than our thoughts?Every action or decision is born and raised in our thoughts. Think about it. So,if every thought that comes into our minds is arrested, cuffed, taken captive, andmade obedient to Christ, God will be in control of our lives, and give us thecomfort, confidence and composure to face being alone. Remember that the thoughtswe think aren't necessarily "our" thoughts. They are put there by Satan. And evenif they are "our" thoughts, they too can turn against us and pull us down. Ourthoughts must be God's thoughts. We need a constant flow of God's positive andpowerful thoughts crowding out our personal thoughts and the thoughts Satan plantsinto our minds.2. Turning Self Awareness into God AwarenessBeing alone tends to draw our focus onto ourselves. A continual focus ontoourselves causes a slow downward spiral in our confidence and composure. OswaldChambers in his inspirational devotional, My Utmost For His Highest, August 20,talks about turning self awareness into Christ awareness. He says, "Wheneveranything begins to disintegrate your life with Jesus Christ, turn to Him at once,asking Him to re-establish your rest. Never allow anything to remain in your life
 
that is causing the unrest. Think of every detail of your life that is causing thedisintegration as something to fight against, not as something you should allow toremain. Ask the Lord to put awareness of Himself in you, and your self-awarenesswill disappear. Then He will be your all in all. Beware of allowing your self-awareness to continue, because slowly but surely it will awaken self-pity, andself-pity is satanic. Don't allow yourself to say, "Well, they have justmisunderstood me, and this is something over which they should be apologizing tome; I'm sure I must have this cleared up with them already." Learn to leave othersalone. Simply ask the Lord to give you Christ-awareness, and He will steady youuntil your completeness in Him is absolute."What really helped me to change my self awareness into Christ awareness is toacknowledge every single thing around me as a gift of God . . . either a createdgift, like the birds, the trees, the plants and animals, or an unseen gift likeman abilities, friendships, health, and even my loneliness. When I involved God ineverything I did, I couldn't help becoming more and more Christ aware and "Christappreciative" as I saw Him in and around me in everything. I then turned to theuniverse to get my thoughts stretching even further . . . wow, I opened theencyclopedia and leant that our galaxy alone is 100,000 light years long and30,000 light years wide. [See picture above] (One light year is the distance lightwould travel in one year at the speed of light, which is 186,000 miles persecond). My Christ awareness really took on a new meaning when I asked the HolySpirit to command my thoughts away from myself to the endless and the limitlessdimensions surrounding the Great Creator and Controller of the universe. If theGreat Creator and Controller of the universe can control the countless galaxies,can't he control my seemingly complicated life and give me the caring, thecomfort, and the companionship I need to enjoy my life to its fullest. 3. Building Our Lives Around GodIn my life so far, I have learnt that we can't build our lives around anything oranyone for lasting happiness. Nothing lasts. Whatever we build our lives around tofind happiness, can disappear at any given point. Our jobs, our families, ourhealth, our interests and hobbies, or whatever it is that gives us happiness andsatisfaction, can crumble and fall apart at any time. How is it that we build ourlives around things like this? I lost my father through a tragic accident at theage of 4 years. My mother, only about 29 at the time, had her whole life comeapart in a matter of hours. I have had friends that have lost their jobs due tocompanies closing, I personally have had a relationship that I thought would endin marriage, fall apart on me months before we were due to be married. As humanswe migrate toward the comfort zone of having many activities, people and thingsaround us for our happiness. God's heart aches. God created you and me to be in aintimate, romantic relationship with Him, where He would be the central focus andquest of each of our lives. The word "know" in the Bible is the same word used forthe beautiful act of love making between a man and a woman. (See picture below).Jesus said in John 17:3, "Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, theonly true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent." It is that simple.How do you get to know a person? There is only one way. Spending time together.The people I have spent the most time with, I got to know the best. It is obvious. . . but why is it not so obvious with God? Where do you spend most of your timeevery day? How much time do you spend with God every day? I mean quality, focused,uninterrupted time, alone with Him? Most of us have grown up with the concept thatattending church is enough to get to know God . . . maybe attending prayer meeting
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