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l6 te r,
f
h e
ir "
isP >l ' 4q -d
l,lh e nI
w as
a
c h i-Ic i
o f
e ig h t
o r
s o
\u elia c t a
m a i-d
fro m
Ire la n d ,
S h e
cam e
a c c ro s s
lo o k i- n g
fo r
a
hom el
a
p la c e
t o
liv e
aw ay
fro m
hom el
a n
e a s y
p a s s a g e
fro rn
o n e
l i f e
in to
th e
n e x ti
a
p la c e
t o
f i t
j-n to r
.{ s
A n d
s h e
trie d ,
b u t
fa lle d .
S h e
lu a so n ly
g re e n
- -
th e
g re e n e s t
I t d
e v e r
s e e n ,
@ ud.I
th o u g h t
g re e n
w as
a
c o lg rr,
S tre
s ta y e d
w ith
u s
o n e
n ig h t
- -
f i y
b ro th e r
a n d
I
l're vie re
s tra n g e rs --
o u r
v J a y ss o
fo re ig n --i()o n e
t o
th e
o th e r
- -
in e x n e r ie n c e d ,
a ll
th re e .
Iri/^ ^
T
^ * ^ - i
1
^ l
lv a D
r
D p '/rr-.,*
v lh e n
th e
v lild
s tra in s
o f
tu n e le s s
f!'ja s
i t
rrtu s ic ? )
lv a fte d
f o rth
in to
o u r
liv in g
ro o rn fro rna
h a rm o n ic a
s h e r d
fo u n d
i n
th e
to y -
b o x
o n
th e
fl-o o r
b y
th e
p la y ro o rnO o o r?
e a rs
lla s
I
s p o ile d
lv h e n
th e s e
s o u n d s
s o
w j-ld
a n d
s tra n g e
h u rt
m y /a n d
n y
s e n s e s
t o
a n
e x c r u lc ia tin g
lro in ,t?
itv ith ;n o
r e lie f
J -ns ig h t? ?
t'a s
th is
fe e lin g
e g -+ i* + -if:f+ a
s o m e th in g
I
h a d
a s h e d
fo r?
lrlia s th is e rie
s o u n d , Iik e
s a n d i:a p e r
o n
in yn e rv e -e n d s ,
th e
re s u lt
o f
ln h a rm o n y
b ro u g h t
w ith
m e
fro in
a n o th e r
s p a c e
- -
a n o th e r
tin ie
o r
a n -
oth e r
T :la ce ?
t t
m a tte re d
litt1 e ,
th e n ,
h o v ,ri t
E o t
th e re
o r
v riry r o r
v ,rh e n !
S h e
v ro u l-d n tt
lis te n
t o
in yp fs s s ,
th is
g e n tle
m a id
fro m
lr e la n d ,
I t
v /a s
lile e
t i r e
a u n t
w ho
lv o u ld n r t
h e a r
th e
p a in
I
fe lt
a t
h e r
.m e rc i[e s .
tic k lin g .
A
n o v re r-h u n g ry
g ro r,v n -u ph a d
s tru c k r
a g a in .,
T h e
n a tu ra l
- - t
te n u re
o f
th e
p e a c e
th a t
h o ld s
h a rn o n y
t o
i t s
b re a s trd is tu rb e d .
F ,o rv
c g n
h a rlra o n y s u rv iv e
th e
ra u c o u s n e s s
o f
u n d is c ii:lin e d
s o u n d s
th a t
v j-o I-
a te
a
g e n tle
n a tu re ?
R e a c tio n
i s
lik e
a
s p rin g f
l i y
a rm
w as
th e
fo rc e
b e h in d
u n 6 e n tle
in -
te n b j-o n s
m ade m a n ife s t.
f
h it
h e r!,
P a re n ta l
ln te rv e n tio n
trv a s th e
re s u lt
o f
th is
o ffe n s iv e
in s u lt
t o
m y
S l:v \* 1 .
' L
I
@ a n c 1 t}re s fia in e Ie x jle rie n c e d w a s in e v ita b 1 e |a n o th e r
^ r'r^ ^
* c
th e
ro u n d
o f
s u b m is s io n s
,:Q ,"!P
th e
p o w e rle s s n e s s
o f
a
i
LJU 6
A u u \'u
U \
c h ild
a n d
th e
fu tilitl'
e n g e n d e re d
b y
itrlrre rh a irs
tt i l
life rs
e n d
- -
S o
v ,'r o n g ly
g r
rig h tly
fe e lin g s
a re
b e s t
n o t
h -s te n e c i
to ,
o r
n o t
t o
lra v e
a t
a 1 1 .,
a n c j.s p irits
a re
b e tte r
b ro k e n .
J -h z rn e s s a -A g 1 tlrry [
q + ;d rc g c q ^ ,/
W s
th is
g e
p ra 'f[-re
fro ri
a
c h itd n js
u n d is c ip ]i,n e d . rffiffi;-r'i)
"-n o V
(
f
a n
b e c o m in g
a s
a
l i t t l e
c h i- ld
a g a in .
T 'h e y
rn ig h t
lis te n
t o
m e
f , } r i . s
I
I
t i t r e
a ro u n d .
\t'la trrrlty
j - s
o fte n
fo u n d
i n
th e
im m a tu re
b o d ie s
c f
c h i-ld r\u20ac n r
g J rl,r
Q u .:jl"tl
j$
g it4 lr
tlih e nf
liv e d
i n
th e
to rv no f
S le n c e r ,'l'/e s t
V irg i-n ia
o u t-r:a tie n ts
fro rir th e ,S ta te
llo e n ita l
fo r
th e
ln s a n e
w e re
o n
th e
s tre e ts
e a c h
d a y .
C neo f
th e m
o fte n
iv e n tin to
th e
re s ta u ra n t
lv h e re I
s o m e tim e s a te ;n y
Iu n c h .
i : i e w o u ld
s e a t
h im s e lf,
a c c ro s s
th e
ta b le
fro m
n le .
lfie rc le n g a s e
i n
c o n v e rs a tj-o n ,
b u t
I
d o n ft
r e i'ir e m b e rju s t
v rh a t lv a s s a id
a s id e
fro n r
th e
o n e
b it
o f
in fo rv n a tj-o n
h e
d is c lo s e d :rtA c t
c ra z y
a n d
y o u
w o n rt
S O
in s a n e .rr
I
r,v a s n lts u re
what he
m eanto r
why he
s a ld
1 t.
I
k n e v r th a t
th e re
lv e re
tirn e s
i n
m yl i f e
I
fe l-t
I
w o u ld ,
I
a l-s o
lin e r v th a t
I
h a d - c o n s c io u s ly
c h o s e n
t o
e x p e rie n c e
m yl i f e
i n
th e
c o n te n t
o f
d o in g
I 'r r yth in g itt.
ilx n e r le n c in g
l i f e
i n
v , r a y st h a t
I
c o n s id e re d
n le a s a n t
a n d
fu n
v re re n o t,
f f i n
s u re ,
a c c e n te d
b y
th e
s ta tu s -q u o
a s
h o in c '
n rri
f
o
n
v v *rrri
L 1 u !v s
*o rir& l
a t
i t r y
o .g \u20ac r
Y e t
I
h a v e
n e v e r,
d u rin g
th e s e
tin e s
c o n s id e r e d ;ly s e lf
o u t
o f
J in e
o r
in s a n e ,
f n
fa c t
i t
v ,ra sq u ite
th e
o p o o s ite .
T h a t
v ra s v rh e nI
fe lt
th e
s a n e s t
e v e r!
l - t
lra s
a llv a y s
b e e n
i n
th e
s ta tu s -q u o
s o c ie ty
th a t
I
fe lt
s tra n g e
o r
p u t
o f
n la c e r
th a t
f
d .id
n o t
q u ite
h e lo n g
- -
th a t
f
m ig h t
b e
a c tin g
to o
d i-ffe re n t
o r
i n
ry a y s
th a t
m ig h t
c a u s e
p e o ';le
t o
th in h
th e re
v ,/a s
s o n e th in g
v rro n g
l ' r i t h
n e .
B u t
f
H .n e w th a t
I
v 'io u ld
h a v e
t o
a c t
S rre tty
fa r
o u t
o f
lin e
t o
b e
n ic k e d
u p
b y
th e
trm e ni - n
lid h ite
c o a ts tr"
trA c t,c ra z ,y
a n d
y o u
v ,lo n rt
8 o
in s a n e rr,
I t
i s
o n t;r
re c e n tly
I
ira v e
d is c o v e re d
th e
w is d o m
o f
th is
a d v ic e .
O ne
rn o rn in g
I
w as
fe e lin g
th e
fru s tra tlo n
o f
re a l-
o r
im a g in e d
\u20ac X -
p e c ta tio n s
a n d
re s tric tio n s
p la c e d
u p o n /'b y
w hat
s e e n lsn o re
a n d
ru o re
t o
b e
a
s ta tu s -q .u o
e x is ta n c e .
'fh a t
o ld
fe e lin g
o f
b e ln g
tra irp e d
i n
som \u20ac-
o n e
e ls e s
n s h o u ld s tt
re tn rn e d .
T h e
iin p o s s ib ility
/
o f
liv in g
s o n e o n e
e ils e r .is
d re a m
h a d
o n c e
a $ a in
h it
hom e.
f
v /a s
s u re
I
w as
5 lo in :$in s a n e
b e c a u s e
I
o o u ld n l!
g g
iq !
S o
,
th e re
m ust
b e
s o m e th in g
lv ro n g
lv ltir
m e.
T h e n ,
a s
p e r
rn yfrie n d rrs
a d v lc e ,
I
c u t
lo o s e !
I
fa c e d
m y
fe a r
h e a d
o rrr
I
a c te d
th e
l'r a yI
fe lt.
I
g r iilm a c e d ,
f
la u g '0 e d ,
a n d
I
c rj-e d
a n d
d .id
a ll
o f
t l i e
th in g s
I
iin a g A p e c i
c ra z y
n e o p le
w o u ld
d .o .--
.A ,n dy o u
k n o lv
iv h a t?
I t
fe 'lt
s o
ro o d !
ru jlJ ffiflr
. r r i: iii.rJ l]iu f G ]? g u ir-u f,
T h is
ria s
m y
s l,.e c ia l
d re s s .
I t
v ra s n e v i'a n d
I
fe lt
n \u20ac l[rr M y
s p irits
s o a re d
v rith
a
s e lf-c o n fid e n c e
I
h a d .n e v e r
k n o u rn b e fo re .
T h is
w as
th e
h in d
o f
d r e s s " i:e o 'ir le
re m a rh e d
a b o u t
* -
th e
k ln d
th a t
iin - o e 1 sn e o rle
t o
s in g le
y o u
o u t.
I t
r,,v a sru s t-c o lo re d r
o r
b u rn t-o ra g g je ,
i f
y o u
v illl,
trirn m e d
j - n
rn o le -c o lo re d
s a tin .
T h e re
in 'a s c lo n g
c u m b e rb u n d t
s a s h
th a t
v rra ::n e d
trv ic e
a ro u n d
tn yv ra is t,
a c c e n tu a tln g
i t s
s r n a lln e s s .
I
fe l-t
s h a n e ly
i n
in y e g ro ll/n -u p
h o d y
i n
th e
d re s s
th a t
d ld
i t
n ro u d
a n d
th e
n o le -
c o lo re d
s u e d e
s h o e s
th a t
rira tc h e d .
A n
e v e n in il
o f
d a n c in 6 g
th e
J f,a n $ o ru ith
s o iln e o n e tira t
k n e rn rh o ,,r'
w as
i n
th e
o ffi-n g ,
I t
i,ra s a
fa r
c ry 'fro n
M iss
S e m p le rs
D a n c in g
C la s s
ln rh e rew e
l-e a rn e d
t i i e
l',ia ltz
a n d
T lv o -,S te .p .
i ' l y
n a tu ra l
s h y n e s s
th a t
b rJ o u g h t
o n
th e
s r,'re a ty ;c a lm s
a n d
d ttie r
n e rs tr& ra tio n
a n d
t i r e
s lia trre s , to o e
w as
a ll
th a t
m a rre c l
it.--s o n e h o l,l
th e s e
a n n o y a llc e s
a lv ta y s
s u b s id e d
e n o u .g ht o
a llo ',v
a
c e rta j-n
am ount
o f
e njo y rn e n t
t o
c o rn e th ro u g h ,
(rr-a n rn 1 y ,
1 n
lh is
v e ry
m o ra e n t (rig h t
n o r,v )a
k ln d
o f
c le p r e s s lo n
v
v -
s rrt)v 4
i s
s tv e e p in g
o v e r
m ec
I
a rn c o rn in g
t o
a -p o in t
i n
m y
l i f e
tira t
I
re s ls t
lo o h in g
b a c li.
I t
i s
a s
il:o u g }'
I
a in a c tu a lly
g o in g
th e re ...
I t
i s
d e a d e n in g
n o t
t o
g o
fo rv ra rd .
T ltis
l s
th e
n q r,v-a g e ...A
tj"m e
fo r
c h a n E 5 e rr r&
rre w
c o n s c io u a n e s s
i s
c o rn in g
in to
i t s
o tr'/rreI
lv a n t
t o
b e
a
n a rt
o f
th a t.
f
n e e d
t o
s trip
a v /a y
th .e
p re te n s e
a n d
th e
e x c e s s
b a g g a g e .
I t
i e
u a in fu l
t o
b e
lo a d e d
dow n
w ith
w hat
I
n o
lo n g e r
n e e d .
I t
ar r r r o y s 1 n s th a t
c lo th in g
rv a s
o n c e
t o
b e
i,'io rs h ir:p e d
a n d
th e
th o u g h t
th a t
f
v ra sr$ s # r
t o
b e
v ro rs h i-i.rire c l
fo r
J -o o h in 6 ;g o o o ,
I
c a n n o t
s u s ta i-n ,
I t
i s
th e
d iffe re n c e
b e tv ie e n
b la c k
a n d
v ,'h ite
- -
th e
d a rk
a n d
th e
lig h t
th a t
b o th e rs
rn \u20ac rr
A n d
a s
th e
o ld
rn e e ts
th e
n e rvth e
c o n i* ,
tra s t
te lls
in er
a n
ta k i-n g
rn y s e lf
to o
s e r lo u s ly
t o
s ta y
v rith in
th e
b o u n d a rie s
o f
t i t i - s
p a {{e i
of 00

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