Love's Dangerous Trance
by Lisa M. (digesthisickness)
If it is debased and painful, I suffered it;Heartsick actions that involved degradation.But I did them for love while I hid burning tears.Detached my mind from my body's sensations,Then slowly I realized I wasn't in love.My heart was never taken into account."Would it bother you, hon, if she joined us?"Hollow concerns that were never borne out.When I grew stronger and left the cruel influences -False love, feigned intimacy, fake compassion -I realized my intense need to show my loveWasn't valued, but was used as a weapon.How convenient for them that I had been cursedWith a childhood that had conditioned me to please.So desperate to believe that I could be lovedI sold my soul out of the need to appease.After surviving my past and those so-called lovesI'm now suspicious and wary of romance.If you reveal your fears they will use them against you,So I've renounced Love's hypnotic trance.