Dating Without The Game

This book is dedicated to all the shameless truth seekers out there.

To those that choose authenticity, and integrity; over manipulative, and fake behaviors.

For it is to the genuine amongst us, to whom the truest of victories belong.

Introduction

IMAGINE IF YOU were met with this statement:

We are all men, and all men should act manly.

Imagine if you were bombarded by the weight of it. A statement that you knew made sense, but one that you didn't know how to apply to your own life.

Maybe you were told this in school, or maybe it's something you heard from a well meaning friend. You knew — on a genetic level — that this statement was true. But, on a conscious level, the actual practicalities of the statement, of acting manly, were as foreign to you as flying a fighter jet. The point being, that as males, we all have a notion of how we should be and act — manly. But, that notion is for most, as elusive as could possibly be.

In this book I'm going to share with you, over 20 years worth of my training in the field of manliness. I’ll distill thousands of hours of reading material, and empower you with my own hard earned experience — all with the aim to teach you how to get in touch with your own manliness. But bear in mind, it's not just for you that I do this. No, I'm doing this because by empowering you, I'll be empowering society. Sounds a bit grandiose, right? Read on, and all will be revealed...

We men, we are all born with manliness coursing through our infant souls. It is a birthright. Just as women are blessed with femininity, we are blessed with manliness.

Think of manliness as a preinstalled purpose, or code. Our Creator, is not in the habit of making mistakes, and as such, every one of us is born with a perfect mindset. A mindset that is designed to evolve, mature, and strengthen — throughout the years of your life. And just as we develop skills like speech and the ability to read, our manliness is designed to flow stronger and stronger through us — a process that naturally moves us from being adolescent boys, and into the lofty realms of manhood.

This process used to work with effortless ease. For hundreds of years, neither man nor woman, struggled with their inner identities. But yet, as is with most problems with humanity — society began to pervert this natural ebb and flow that had served us so well.

There have been many injustices that have tainted human history. Injustices that have caused us as a species, to commit atrocious and heinous acts; acts that we now look back upon, with regret.

Out of all these atrocities, the one that concerns us the most with this book, is that of the suppression of women. Women have historically been recorded as, being mistreated. Their rights were withdrawn, and for centuries they had been at the mercy of men; men  that held all the cards of power. These men were not always intelligent, nor were they fair, and as a result women had to suffer in silence. Think about that for a moment, having your whole life, and its direction — all being at the mercy of someone, not because of his wisdom, but just because he had a penis! You'd feel as if you'd been born into an unfair lottery of gender. Resentment, would be inevitable.

This unjust status quo was first truly impacted upon, by the honorable sacrifices of the Suffragette movement. These brave women, fought — sacrificed their lives for — the rights of women. Their sacrifices did not go unnoticed, and went on to inspire generations.

The liberation of gender roles flowed into the 60's and 70's where women — finally — were beginning to walk down the road that would lead them to equality. However, as can happen with any suppressed group — their new found rights and opportunities had come too late, and by this point some women had developed an inner hatred toward the male of the species. Personally, I find this understandable. After all, don't some people who've been bullied, become bullies? We humans are designed to survive. And one of our ancestral — most primal — of responses to threats, is to try to assume the role of the aggressor. We assume this stance, not always out of hate; but more in the guise of self preservation.

So, if we connect the past to the present — with all the aforementioned information in mind — we will notice that gender roles have been distorted. In an aim to level the playing field of life, women have tried to — mostly with good intentions — attempted to eradicate sexism, or the onset of male misogynistic behaviors. However, along the way, this suppression of male behaviors, has resulted in men losing their way in life. A good analogy would be to think of how an antibiotic works. Yes, it aids in the killing off of an infection. But, it also kills off good cells too. Which by default, leads to an overall weakening of the immune system.

Using this example as a guide, lets now think of bad male behaviors as the virus, and the suppression tactics employed by some extreme factions of women — as the antibiotic. The employment of this approach would lead to similar results whereby bad male behaviors (the virus), would be attacked by women (the antibiotic). This would result in the bad behaviors being attacked, and maybe even eradicated; but in the process would also lead to the destruction of positive male traits too. Leaving the stability of society (the immune system), truly weakened.

The result of this very real and current process, and one that is currently at play in our modern day society — is that women are constantly looking for, but can rarely find, a Real Man.

In fact, most women may already view the idea of finding a Real Man, as a myth. This is due to the fact that in their day to day lives, most women mainly come into contact with needy/submissive guys, or overly aggressive assholes.

The needy or submissive guys (we will call them the Nice Guys), will sacrifice their identities, buy gifts that are undeserved, and will pretend to like everything a woman does — all in the hope that she might like them. Which in turn, leads to zero attraction.

On the flip side, you've got the asshole type of guys (lets call them the Jerks). These guys do generate attraction because they are not as needy as the Nice Guys. However, they again are — like the Nice Guys — being manipulative. They're manipulation is expressed by their belief that they must constantly be verbally sparring, or putting on a drama-infused show for women. Yes, this can build short term attraction with some women, but in the long run, it leads to nothing more than possible one night stands, and dysfunctional relationships that are riddled with drama — which is not surprising, as this is the premise that these relationships are originally built upon.

The Real Man that women are looking for, is becoming like the tiger — rare, and on the verge of extinction. As a result, the current pool of guys that women are left with, consists generally of the Nice Guys, and the Jerks.

So why is the Real Man — who was prevalent at one time — now facing extinction?

Well, to put it simply, we have as a society — outgrown him.

In our pacification (pussification) of all things male, we have created a world of boys that have stumbled into adulthood, as opposed to having made a transition into manhood. In many indigenous tribes, men faced a right of passage that guided them into the world of being a man. They were taken under the wing of older males, shown how to hunt, fight, and develop their natural talents for the good of their tribe. This process developed their psyches, and naturally matured their once adolescent minds — resulting in them becoming strong, steely, and responsible men. Through this process, they developed into men that the women of the tribe would feel honored to be with; men that could fulfill their woman's need for emotional, and physical strength. They became — in essence — pillars of strength that even the most independent of woman, would appreciate having in her life.

As humanity progressed, and life became increasingly easier; certain roles/ needs became obsolete. However, in our beautiful ascension into the technological marvels that we enjoy today, we began to ignore, or perhaps even tried to redefine — what essentially makes us human; which is essentially our need for harmony between male and female.

This need for male and female harmony has always been — always will be — present. It was there when we discovered fire, and it will be there when/ if we start colonizing other planets. Unfortunately, we are losing sight of this need. It is fast becoming a distorted image, in the theatre of our ever-progressing lives.

If we do not restore this balance now, our societal problems will escalate, as will divorce rates, and broken relationships.

As it stands, we live in a world where guys feel emasculated, and lost in life. A world where men choose supplication to female energy, or conversely choose to cause harm to female energy.

Where women were once the suppressed, and chose aggression in order to seize equality. Now males are on the verge of a cross-roads. On one side, we have the choice of continuing down our current societal path; a path where we are heading for a society riddled with passive aggressive men. Men who would begrudgingly supplicate themselves by day to their female counterparts; while by night, seek out hateful outlets for their frustrations, and sexual energies. Outlets such as increasingly aggressive internet porn that promotes the demeaning of women (which is already on the rise), and in the worst case scenarios - instances of rape. I can see this resentment, this hate, beginning to rise. Right now, it's an undercurrent, but without being tended to — it could very well easily become, an uncontrollable tsunami.

Do we really want to repeat an uprising of the battle of sexes? To have a time in history that we can record as 'when men took back their place in society by force'?

Personally, I don't see this as progressive or conducive for anyone, regardless of gender.

The other road available to men, a road that they may not even realize is available, is that of reconnecting with their own birthright, and their inherent Manliness.

THIS is why I wrote this book. With the sole aim of reconnecting men with their real, true, and MANLY selves. To help men to stop fantasizing about what it would be like to be a Real Man, and for them to KNOW what it feels like to be a Real Man.

The problem with most of the materials that exist on this subject, is that they approach the expression of manhood, solely from a dating perspective. Whereas in truth, dating is only a part of the journey, and not the entire purpose of it. To look at dating alone, would be like me trying to teach you how a car engine works — but only showing you the workings of the pistons; it would be showing you only part of the entire picture. Without the entire picture, you’d always be playing catch-up.

Most dating books are — for the most part — well written, and include some very valid points. However, they focus on short term interactions or one night stands. They tell you how to act with a woman to build attraction, and teach you how to act like an attractive man. This is all good, and if a guy dedicates himself to 'field testing,' the material in these books, he will most probably get laid, and could become very good at bedding women. But, is that what our romantic aims in life amount to? Is sex all it takes to be happy? If that was the case, wouldn't everyone in a relationship (good or bad), every millionaire that can sleep with as many prostitutes as he desired; be happy? Yet, they’re not.

Don't get me wrong, sex is good, in fact it's great. But, sex without love — well call me cynical — but I think that's simply like masturbating in-between someone's legs.

I've met many world class Pick Up Artists. Guys that have slept with hundreds of women. Sure these guys have fun, but I've found one common problem that they all suffer from; lack of fulfillment.

These men, and the books that they have written, all teach you how to act attractive, but the problem with simply acting, is that it's not authentic.

When you fake being attractive, the chinks in your armor will show at some point. For-instance what if you picked up a girl at a bar for a one night stand, and then after you slept with her, you realized that you actually liked her? You start dating her, and very quickly, she realizes that you weren't the man you pretended to be. What do you think would happen? Pretty simple, she would leave you. For all you know, you could have had the best of relationships with this woman, but pretending to be someone you're not, being manipulative — has just cost you that relationship.

I've encountered this very same scenario with many of my coaching clients who have sought my help to restore their relationships. My advice to them was to tell them that it cannot be done. My advice to them was to view their experience as a lesson — a costly one — in the importance of being a GENUINE man, that lives a GENUINELY attractive lifestyle. No. Acting. Necessary.

Throughout the course of this book, I will be making constant reference's to what is known as the ‘Seduction Community.’ The Seduction community consists of Pick Up Artists, Dating Coaches, and the plethora of ‘Gurus’ out there, that all make money from telling you how to act attractively. I will also be using common terms that these circles use, and then decoding them; all in the aim to open your eyes to certain realities of dating. The reason I’m choosing to use the Seduction Community as an example is because this is the most pervasive and prominent force in modern-day dating. In some way or another, I’m confident you already must have inadvertently come across materials, or people, that have risen to prominence from this community. However, its important to remember that despite us using the members and products of this community as an example of what we do not want to be — they are NOT the enemy, and should not be viewed