pdx ~ aug 27 2013 ~ 130am
i had a lot of poems from freshman year of college sitting around.i never did anything with them b/c i thought they were bad poems:lots of abstract imagery, vague foreboding, emotionally bankrupt stuff that stemmed from being in an unrequited love situation with someone.the images 'meant' something to me, but only to me, and for that reasonthe poems were embarrassingly personal in a way that was coded,a way that was afraid of being honest and, like, 'poetically ethical.'so i decided to revisit the poems are if they were raw material.i used whatever phrases i thought sounded good, changed things at liberty.it was a massacre, i loved it. i originally was going to release them as they were,in some sort of gesture toward transparency of writerly process, but decidedit's not worth anyone's time. i'm a much better writer now, the original poemsneeded the scalpel like i need to be murdered by a refugee.the idea was that if i couldn't bear to be honest when i originally wrote the poems,i could edit them without worrying at all about the 'emotional honesty'of the final result re the unrequited love sitch. meaning i was free to dowhatever i wanted, and construct entirely new poetic ontologiesthink of this in light of a 'consistent process of primitive accumulation'not sure if that means anything to anyone, i'll explain that later maybe.anyway while most of the results drastically differ from the source poems(which share names with their respective revised versions)a few remained mostly the same, simply because of my nostalgia.i'm weak like that. the result of this editing process (one sitting, ~7hrs),is, i feel, a more honest framing of my relationship to the original poemsthan showing the original poems would have been. except i kept the dates...i have little to no connection to the feelings that 'produced' the original poemsit's funny how sometimes you can be more honest about somethingby not including it. am i pulling this off?