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The Next Reincarnation for Tricky Dick 
By Russell Twyce
 
The Next Reincarnation for Tricky Dick 
 The story of the year in 1974 was Richard Milhous Nixon resigning thepresidency over the Watergate Scandal. This is a story of an eternityfollowing Tricky Dick’sdeath in 1994. This is a 1000 word truth orfiction short story inspired by a picture.ByRussell Twyce“Welcome to the afterlife.” Heaven’s gatekeeper said after the 37
th
president of the United States trundled over mortality’s threshold.“Come meet your messenger.”“Here I am in heaven!” Richard Milhous Nixon exclaimed. “I’msurprised. As I saw the story of my life’s years before my eyes, I didn’tfeel my judgment was favorable.”“You’re negative impression was correct: you aren’t coming in herequite yet.”“But I will be allowed in later.” Tricky Dick held his thoughts to himself.‘The many small good things some under my administration didmust’ve cancelled out plenty, but not quite enough of, the less-than-auspicious stuff.’“No.” The gatekeeper replied: even the innermost thoughts are anopen book for heaven’s doorman. “You’ll atone for evil you didpersonally, as well as harms done by the government entity you soeagerly took responsibility for.”“That isn’t legal!” Nixon rebutted. He was a lawyer before he was thepresident.“Law is a Sophist notion and it’s of the worst evil possible. To earn apass through these pearly gates, you need realize that the law only
 
gave you a twisted method of suggesting lies were actually true. Lawsare lies and law only enslaves. Purporting to protect society’s weak byprosecuting for damage done to law itself is an utter falsehood, guiltyof heinous crimes against humanity.”“It still isn’t intrinsically fair then.” The recently departed lawyerswitched defenses. “I didn’t know each person my army killed, or if taxagents did overzealous harms. I was only seated in the President’sChair. The Oval Office held the power, so it must bear most of theculpability.”“Wouldn’t that horse manure be convenient for you, and the rest wholust for power and like to blame their wrongs on inanimate objects?” The keeper chuckled. “If the flag dies while you’re on your soul’s nextmission, I’ll transfer some of your karma obligations over to thebanner’s immortal soul.”“You’re oversimplifying a complex political notion.” Dick Nixongrumbled.“That is the true problem because truth is simple and the moreconvoluted you try to make it, the closer it resembles a falsehood. Then suddenly, it’s a lie that you still want people to believe is true.However, you’ll have plenty of time to fully grasp it.”“In hell?” Tricky Dick’s mind envisioned torments as described inDante’s Inferno.“What eternal point would putting a soul on a rack or into a pit of boiling oil be? That’s a ridiculous concept the church installed tosolidify their hold. Here, you meet your messenger and we search forstories that perfectly suit you.”“The church has been responsible for many atrocities in history,” theex-lawyer said as he recalled a joke about the many popes in heavenand the first lawyer allowed in getting the nicest suite, “but dead
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