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How to Define Love
“How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics soimportant a biological phenomenon as first love?” — Albert Einstein
Love is difficult to define. How do you avoid confusing it with infatuation or lust?Philosophers and psychologists both have attempted to define love, or at least itsdifference from infatuation and lust. If you are looking to find love, the followingobservations may be helpful.
 
Steps
1.The dictionary defines love in the ways we use the word. For example loveis:
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A strong positive emotion of. affection or pleasure. e.g. "His love for hiswork." or "I love cooking."
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Any object of warm affection or devotion or liking; "the theater was herfirst love". I love French food.
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Beloved: a beloved person; used as terms of endearment
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A deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction. e.g. "She was his first love"or "She loves her husband."
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A score of zero in tennis or squash; "It was 40 love!"
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Sexual love: sexual intercourse between two people. e.g. "They madelove." "He hadn't had any love in months";2.Love is characterized by the desire to do anything for that person no matterwhat. And you're willing to work out your problems together. And you justcan't hardly breathe when you're around them and even though you maysee them all the time or hardly ever it's as if you get that rush of what youfelt when you got your first kiss #The Greeks defined love in fourcategories:
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AGAPE love is unconditional love. It is love by "CHOICE". A good example is"GOD LOVES US"
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PHI LEO love is the love of "ATTRACTION" guided by our likes or ourhealthy or unhealthy needs and desires.
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STORGE is a physical show of "AFFECTION" the need for physical touch.
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EROS is the physical "SEXUAL" desire, intercourse.3.Define love, what does it mean to you? Be bold and write down the feelingsand thoughts you have about love.4.Be aware of moments you feel love towards anyone or anything.5.Consider your motives, what are you getting from the situation.
 
6.Think about whether you'd feel the same way if the other person's lookswere to change.7.Capture that feeling with metaphors, poetry or songs.8.Define love like a psychologist: love can be viewed triangularly. There arethree key components: passion, intimacy, and commitment.
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Passion
underlies physical desire, sexual behavior, and arousal. This is thephysical side.
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Intimacy 
is the emotional aspect: closeness, connectedness, and warmth of friendship.
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Commitment 
is the decision-making part "CHOICE" of love; are coupleswilling to work it out?9.Understand that love may start as harmless flirting and smiles and winksand maybe even kissing, but it is usually infatuation at this point, a morecurious approach by one or both parties. While time is usually spent lookingto discover more about this intriguing person, much time will be spentpondering the many possibilities of what could happen, or theconsequences that may become of a certain action, or on the other handthe good that may come of it.10.Understand that most often to the person in love there will be little left of interest in the real world, food will taste bland, concentrating will havebecome a serious mental struggle and even fun pastimes may seemworthless, as pacing and walking or even simply sitting or lying whilethinking about the person seems a more sensible thing to do.
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This type of behavior can lead to serious disturbances at work and at home,especially if the person feeling love is already an item with somebody elsewith whom they may have shared these feelings at some time in the past.11.Note that although love has never been scientifically proven to exist, it isthought; quite accurately as of yet that one can only be in love with oneperson or thing at a time. The part of the human being that is reserved forsharing with another (which some may call the soul, or the heart) is usedup while dedicating itself to that one source, and that it is impossible to feelthe overwhelming feeling twice at once.
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Although similar, love is thought not to be like pain which has definitelocations; it is thought that it can move around, although usually it willreside in the lower stomach or the bottom of the throat, with sensitiveareas like the temples and the legs and joints feeling stressed and weak.The mouth is often dry and the eyes seem strained, and this is all usuallygiven the diagnosis of love sickness; or in some cases where love isn'tpresent; influenza.12.Understand that time does seem to be the only healer in the case of love.The full connection of two loving parties (mutually) could lead to a strongerrelationship, and developments such as procreation and marriage; but inthe case of a single party or the rejection of the first party by the second,or even in the case of a secret love, being in love will usually only fade after
 
the interest is out of sight and out of mind, or gives full closure to thepursuer.13.Realize that in some cases (especially in literature) love will last forever. Nomatter how much time passes by, or what obstacles become present in thepath to true and pure love, love will endure. This may be far fetched fromreality, but many find it to be a preferable way to think.
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Although this may be a much more joyous belief to have of love, there arealso those situations where love does fail. This can be easily said to havebeen due to false love of mistaken identity between persons (as lovers arestar crossed and are meant to find each other). Either way, the differencebetween feeling love and not feeling it is a distinct one, and cannot bemistaken. It is a true sickness that is present and can be more cripplingthan the flu, depression and many other illnesses combined.
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Love can cause war; in the cases of love of religion and the love of money;war can cause people to steal and murder, it can lead to suicide and shattermarriage and family life, it can spread disease and give birth to evil; butlove is eternal and cannot be eliminated, it is what makes people human. "Ithink therefore I am" may also be translated as "I love therefore I am".Being able to think give us the ability to choose our partners not because of their breed or simple survival of the fittest, but in order for us to develop ashuman beings, and to share our love and spread it on to new generations,so that while love lasts eternally, our mark upon humanity lasts foreverthrough our children and children's children; we have made our mark uponhumanity; our genetic code will continue to be passed on and develop forever more. This possibility is a gift, not a dedication, we have to choose aswe were born with conscientiousness, not animal instinct.
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Desire is the want of more and is unfillable, not to be confused with Lovewhich is joy and contentment.
Tips
There are many combinations, all of which form some kind of love. Is therepassion and friendship but very little commitment? This is defined as "passionatelove." Are you committed but feel no passion or friendship? This is called "emptylove." What most people ultimately desire, is "TRUE LOVE" the total package:passion, intimacy, friendship and commitment in one healthy relationship. It's themost fulfilling love. It is unconditional, and in my opinion the only "CHOICE".
For inspiration, read Elizabeth Barrett Browning's famous poem, "How Do I LoveThee?"
For additional inspiration, you might want to consider this Shakespearequotation: "Love is not love/Which alters when it alteration finds" (Sonnet 116)
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