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How to Maintain Romance
http://relevantlifesolutions.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=449&Itemid=26There is so much more involved in keeping romance alive than justcandles, bubble baths, and foot massages. You each have to work at itin order to maintain and enjoy romance in your life. Here is how tofeed the romantic fires in your relationship in a deep and meaningfulway.
Steps
1.
Tell the truth.
Truth is the ultimate aphrodisiac and a great wayto create connection with your partner. For example, you mightsay "I feel safe when I am with you" or "Sometimes I feel scaredthat we get so busy with other things that we forget aboutcreating close moments together, but I really want to be closewith you." Just share your true feelings and speak from yourexperience. If you are concealing in your relationship, you willnot feel connected, so consider making truth an ongoing priorityin your life.
2.
Appreciate yourself and your partner
. Appreciation means"to grow in value, or to be sensitively aware of." Take time tounderstand just what it is that you like about yourself, and yourpartner. Saying for example, "I am doing a good job as a parentby taking time to hug the kids in the morning before they go off to school." or "I really appreciate how dedicated you are to your job." Successful relationships have a 5 to 1 ratio of appreciationsto criticisms, so if you really want to heat up your relationship,start appreciating!
3.
Listen.
All humans crave being seen and heard. Being with yourpartner, and really listening to them can be magical for you both.Often, we want to fix their problems, but it is much morepowerful to listen. Saying, "Wow, I can understand you arefrustrated." or "That must have been hard on you." Let yourpartner know you're hearing them.
4.
Create romance within yourself first
. We often try to "get"our partners to be more romantic by believing we need tochange them in order to have what we want. The truth is thatyou are much more likely to have what you want when 'you'show up in that way. For example, create your own romantic
 
mood--dress, put on music, prepare sensuous foods, take sometime to love and appreciate yourself. It will not take long for yourpartner to join in the fun!
5.
Ask for what you want
. Let your partner know that you aredeeply interested in spending some romantic time with them(You would be surprised at how often they are unaware of this.)Whining, demanding, and manipulating are contrary to creatingromance, so do your best to ask using kind and loving words.
6.
Bring play back into your relationship
. Levity is a sexy thing.If you are stuck in thoughts of how much housework you have todo, or that you might wake the kids, more than likely you willnot feel romantic. Laugh about the ways that you take your self out of a romantic mood, and soon, you will be back in it.
7.
Speak your partner's love language
. We often becomeconfused and disappointed by expecting the other person to dosuch and such romantic things. Do to your partner the thingsthey like as well as you telling them what 'you' like, want, andexpect. When you fulfill their needs and desires, you will end upreceiving the same in return!8.Accept each other unconditionally, respect each others wishesand dislikes. Keep the mystery and fascination to each other.Love each moment as if it is the last.
Tips
•
Communicate with your partner about what each of you wants in thearea of romance, without making the other person feel wrong for theirdesires. One may want less romance, the other may want more,however by communicating, each can have what they want, it justmay not look the way you think it is supposed to. For example, howcould you create a romantic evening just for yourself? (This is a reallypowerful step to creating a life of joy!)
•
Portions of this article are based on the works of Drs. Gay and KathlynHendricks
Warnings
•
Many couples will subconsciously create an argument just when thereis an opportunity for romance. This happens because we haveconditioned ourselves to avoid intimate connection. We are afraid of 
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