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How to Be a Good Wife
 
http://relevantlifesolutions.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=447&Itemid=26You want to be a wonderful wife, but what does that mean? Ultimately,it's up to your and your husband to determine the needs of yourrelationship and how each partner can do their part to fulfill them, buthere are some guidelines to start off with.
Steps
 
1.
Be secure in yourself.
Putting yourself down in front of himis another way of insulting his taste in women. If he is with you,it's because he wants to be. He will find you sexy even if youdon't feel like it, if you act the part. Remember that attitude andwillingness are large parts of being sexy. Poor self-esteem and a"void" in your life is terrible for marriage. Make sure you stillhave a fun and interesting life. If your husband left tomorrow,would you still have girlfriends you see at least once a month,hobby clubs you go to, sports you play? If not, your husband willalways be working to fill a void he can't, and will feel inadequateand unhappy.
2.
Express, don't accuse.
Except in the rare event that yourhusband happens to be psychic, don't expect mind-readingpowers. If you want something, ask. If something is wrong,say so. Don't drop hints or figure he'll "come around".Communicate calmly, clearly and directly. Relationships workbest when each partner calmly express their current emotionwithout harping on what he has done. Frequently, a "I feelattacked" or "I feel sad" is all it takes for him to step backand ask, "Why?" Then simply say, "When you slammed thedoor, I felt ignored." Let "I feel" be your guide.
 
3.
Don't expect the moon.
He needs to keep trying, you needto keep trying, but neither of you is perfect. Unmet expectationstend to frustrate everyone. However, if you both keep working onyour marriage, you will always be covered, even when one of you comes up a little short. If your expectations are truly toohigh or unrealistic, then set standards that are obtainable. Forexample, it is unfair to expect to be lavished with possessionsand have the love of your life home for every meal. Should youwant more together time, be prepared to have that desirefulfilled at some expense.
4.
Pick your battles.
Nagging and nitpicking can destroy arelationship. As long as the dishes are clean and unbroken,for instance, don't nag about how to load the dishwasher "theright way". Let him do things his own way. Don't sweat thesmall stuff. Focus on what is important.
5.
Offer sex frequently.
To most men, this is the most crucialarea of their marriage and defines the tone of theirrelationship with their wife.
If you doubt this or are notsure if this applies to your man, try reading the next 3paragraphs to him and watch is head nod, his eyes lightup and his entire face smile.
 a.Most men have deep emotional (and physical) desires and needsassociated with sex and your willingness to approach him oftenis crucial to his happiness and your marital success. Many menwould like to have sex every day; for some men, once a week isenough. Most normal, healthy men are pleased with 3 to 5 timesa week.b.Consider trying especially interesting lovemaking at least once aweek, including taking the time to push him for a second (orthird) round. Normal, healthy men do require a “recovery time” before they can achieve erection and climax again, but with theright kind of stimulation, this is easily achieved in 15 to 30minutes.c.Without the frequent intimate acceptance and love that comesfrom your lovemaking, a man can and will become dissatisfied,grumpy, and ultimately suffer from feelings of rejection and evenanger. On the other hand, if you offer sex to your man frequentlyand he will be content, kind, gentle and eager to please you inany way possible.
 
6.
Keep your sex life interesting.
Be willing to try new things(or even suggest/approach them without asking) and discussthem--don't just turn them down immediately if he suggestssomething you don't find appealing. This may make him feelrejected. At least be willing to discuss it, and perhaps try it, butnever do anything you are uncomfortable with after discussing itwith him. Also, don't be afraid to discuss anything you might beinterested in. Physical intimacy is as important to a marriage asemotional intimacy. Nurture them both.
7.
Accept him.
Only by accepting him as he is, do you havesuch deep respect and gratitude for him that you would neverwant him to change in any way for you. He has so much to offeryou if only you give him the space to be himself. He is a growingindividual, just like you are. Help him grow in the direction thathe chooses, and give him the chance to help you.
Tips
•
Don't criticize your husband, not in his presence, not in his absence,not when you're in front of people, and not when you're alonetogether. Be supportive, encouraging, and compliment him as much asyou can. This doesn't mean you shouldn't voice your concerns, butthere's a difference between expressing your needs and criticizing hisability to meet them.
Warnings
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If you're forced to do things, if he hits you at all, if he tries to controlwho you see or demeans you, it's definitely not a good relationship. Areal man gets what he wants without forcing. Talk things out or see acounselor. If he turns violent, even once, make sure you're safe.Depending on the situation that might mean moving out, or calling thepolice, or telling someone what's happening - whatever you do, don't
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