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How to Have a Great Marriage
http://relevantlifesolutions.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=446&Itemid=26The wedding is over and so is the excitement of planning the wedding.Soon you will be settling in to married life. Having the perfect marriageis a mix of compromise and honesty, not subservient behavior.
 
Steps
1.
Be yourself from the start of any relationship.
If you beginthe relationship by putting on the front of a perfect hybridversion of you and some sort of Stepford wife, what happenswhen the cracks begin to show? Be yourself from day one, andyour spouse will have proven that you are accepted and loved forwho you really are, not who you are pretending to be.
2.
Exercise your sense of humor.
A good, stout sense of humoris indispensable for a great marriage. Try to see the humor indifficult situations, it'll help you both roll with tough times muchbetter.
3.
Forgive, forgive, forgive.
The three most important words fora good marriage.
4.
Give each other the benefit of any doubts.
You have built arelationship based on trust. Don't assume that your spouse isdoing things for the purpose of irritating you - maybe s/he justdoesn't realize something s/he does is bothering you. Let yourspouse know about things that bother you without assuming theworst of him or her, and once it's out in the open give your matetime to make adjustments and corrections.
5.
Try to let the little annoyances go.
Ask yourself if somethingirritating you is really worth fighting over. Is something
wrong
,or is it just
different 
from the way you would do it? Allowdifferences to go by without comment. If something is
really 
bothering you, talk about it in a non-accusatory way, and see if you can work it out without arguing.
6.
Find ways to share responsibility.
If you're both working 80hours a week, why should the wife still have to do all the cookingand cleaning? Try to find a mix of jobs you both do better, e.g.dishes and lawn mowing, and share responsibility. Find ways of creating a routine that involves everyone, i.e.: “If you take thebins out, I’ll bring them in", “You wash, I’ll dry", etc. This will
 
avoid the nagging housewife syndrome. Remember, you will beliving together forever( till death do you part) - save some fortomorrow. The world won't come to an end if you don't finish allthe laundry today.
7.
Make time to sit down together once a day and share timetogether.
Even if it's only 10 minutes before bed, talk, cuddle,and share each other’s company.
8.
Don’t expect perfection.
Remember, your spouse is human,and so are you. Make allowances for the human condition: tired,overworked, over-stressed, family illnesses, personal illnesses,and simple frailty.
9.
Do something nice for your partner during a rough patch.
Cold shouldering or constant arguing about a contentious issuewill likely just drive you apart. A thoughtful gesture can go along way in helping you feel closer to each other, making it thatmuch more likely that you will work through your problems. Thisworks especially well if you feel like your partner does notcompliment or do nice things for you often any more. Startcomplimenting them and make it a point to be nice -- they'llWANT to do something nice for you!
10.
Try to find something nice about your partner every day,and say it to them!
Whether it's a compliment on his/her outfitor a thank you for just taking out the trash, it always feels goodto get a little boost from the person you love. And you'll feelgood doing the boosting.
11.
Learn from your mistakes.
When you say "I'm Sorry", meanit! That means you won't repeat the action. Apologizing and thenrepeating the behavior shows your mate that you weren't thatsorry after all, and it erodes trust over time.
12.
Keep no secrets, and avoid even the appearance of anyhanky panky.
Being transparent with your partner is important,because it shows you each trust one another with every detail of your lives. If you're harboring secrets, they will eventually befound out and that will spell trouble for your marriage. Keepingthings clear and open prevents suspicion and jealousy. Don't dothings to get a rise out of your spouse, and if someone at theoffice is hitting on you and won't stop, tell your boss about it andask that one of you be transferred. If you maintain a cleanappearance and an honest, open communication with yourpartner, you will be trusted when it's truly imperative.
13.
Remember that marriage is a nuts and bolts arrangement.
While you're planning your wedding, you may entertain fairy-talenotions of a life lived happily ever after. The reality of marriage is
 
that sometimes, it's just a day to day grind - one or both of youmay be tense, on edge, bored, not happy with the other one, notfeel so warm and fuzzy. It's not all about your feelings.
Repeat:it is not all about your feelings.
It's about your commitmentto one another. Whether or not you "feel" like you're in love,"feel" you're getting your needs met, or whatever, the reality is,you have sworn a vow to one another. A lot of the time,marriage isn't romantic at all - it's about teamwork and gettingthe job done every single day.
14.
Plan for down times.
You will have much less stress to dealwith if you work together to plan a budget, accumulate at least asmall savings account ($500 emergency fund can workwonders), and prepare for the times when things go wrong, lifewill be much smoother.
15.
Act like everything's okay.
If you're having a rough patch,feeling like you just can't remember what attracted you to him inthe first place, wondering what possessed you to marry her... just smile and behave yourself in a kind, genteel way. Act likeeverything is normal. In fact, go out of your way to be kind,thoughtful, and caring toward your mate. It may sound weird,but if you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and actlike nothing's wrong, eventually, everything really
will 
be normal,okay, and even better.
16.
Don't be afraid to go to bed angry.
A lot of well-meaningpeople say that you shouldn't let the sun set on a fight. But it'sfar better to simply come to a point in the argument where youcan stop fighting actively and sleep on it. Instead of continuingan argument that is escalating out of control and going in circles,stopping, resting, and waking refreshed can give you newperspective, and help you come to a better and more satisfyingresolution than just fighting it out until you're both battered,bloody, and after you've said things you can never take back.Sleeping on it will also help you allow residual negative feelingsto dissipate - you don't always just say, "Okay, that's it,argument over," and return to those warm, loving feelings -sometimes resentment lingers awhile. Let it go - get some rest.You'll both feel better in the morning.
17.
Ask yourself what you can do today to make yourspouse's life happier.
By finding one way each day to makeyour partner's life just a little bit nicer, you will never forget thatyou truly do care for him or her. Doing nice things for your matemakes you think nice thoughts about him or her. It's a goodhabit.
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Nezzy967

These are great steps. Thank you for posting! Nezzy :)

reply08 / 28 / 2009
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