CONTINUED: 2.FEMALE AUDIENCE MEMBERS
Oh, we wanted to stand up andhiss...
MALE AUDIENCE MEMBERS
..."We’ve seen shit, but never likethis!"
Max Bialystock has done it again!Oh, the book was rotten. The songswere stinkin’. What he did toShakespeare, Booth did to Lincoln.
The carpenter stands at the top of the ladder, next to themarquee.CARPENTERWe had this especially made up forMax Bialystock.The carpenter pulls on the lever and "Opening Night" isswitched to "Closing Night." The audience members laugh.AUDIENCE MEMBER COUPLE(hailing a cab)
Oh, we couldn’t leave faster.
What a disaster.
The audience members walk near a man hidden behind anewspaper.AUDIENCE MEMBERS
We are still in shock. Who producedthis schlock? Why that slimy,sleazy Max Bialystock! What a bum!
The man puts down the newspaper angrily, uncovering hisface. He is MAX BIALYSTOCK, 50s, slightly balding, a tadpudgy. He wears his suit with cape and a "producer’s hat."The audience members laugh and then leave. The usheretteswalk up to him, crying.MAXYou know, the reviews come out alot faster, when the critics leaveduring intermission.The usherettes walk away, still tearing into theirhandkerchiefs.(CONTINUED)