A Watcher Watchesby Joshua Allen(Originally published in

The Fifth Di...

, May 2009)

And so we come to Earth, last stop on our tour of historic places. If you look out the

-ward viewports you will see anauthentic reproduction of what Earth would have looked like inits prime. You'll see sparkling blue oceans and several distinctmasses of land interspersed throughout. As we'll be approaching from the dark side--what the ancient inhabitants of Earth called "Night"--you'll also see a representative sample of lightgrouped around what were once metropolitan areas composed of several million billion Earthbound organisms, including theillusive, long-extinct "human," a strange being that claimed sentience but was unable to control even its basic bodily functions such as heartbeat and digestion. Though the humanswere granted nominal status in the League in the ancient year DXI 847, they quickly lost status by inventing nuclear weapons,which they later used to destroy themselves in war many humansdubbed "Armageddon," after a legend in some ancient storybook.

Prechipto rotated her second orbital head-module stage-clockwise until it was upside down. Those fools, they were

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flying in at the wrong angle, nearly 180 degrees clockwise oftrue

-ward. All the continents, the pointy ones, anyway, werepointing up instead of down. Any school child could tell you thefallacy of up-down in three-dimensional orientation, butPrechipto also knew that to experience Earth as the Earthlingssaw it, you had to look at it with the pointy landmassespointing down. Down.Prechipto shook her head as she rotated it back tobaseline. They would pay with this violation of authenticitywith a harsh note. An unseen tentacle probed her ambiguous area.The He was hungry. She decided to disengage sexual arousal aftera moment's thought. He would have to find some other hims andhers to share commune with. Prechipto was much too angry. Shecould feel the ache of His rejection as she left the crowdedroom. He tried to make her feel guilty but she twisted Him theapple. How dare He.* * *Tyson watched the tape a second time, scarcely believinghis eyes. He'd had a feeling, a suspicion that had eaten intohis mind like a still, quite voice--for weeks now--but until thetape had appeared in his bedroom, on his bed, and tied with ared ribbon bowed beautifully as though by Martha Stewart, he haddismissed these thoughts as utter irrationality, at best, orextreme sexual guilt, at worst. Somehow, he had suspected that

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someone was watching him when he had sex with his wife, Bridge,and now he had irrevocable proof. A tape with them enjoying eachother and supplying each other with pleasure in supposedisolation while someone watched and recorded.And though nothing specifically had compelled him to do so,certainly no rational reason and no sense that there were cluesin the images embedded in magnetized plastic strip as to theidentity of his watcher, he kept watching the tape again andagain. And againThe changing pressure and sucking/rattling sound of thedoor opening made Tyson jump and clench up all over, quiteinvoluntarily. He shut the VCR off, looked frantically for aplace to stash the videotape, but realized he had no time. Heleaned back and folded his left leg over right, to try to hidehis erection.Bridge set her keys on the TV, she was digging through herpurse looking for something, probably something asinine, likelip balm. She glanced briefly at the blank TV. She had no ideawhat he'd just been watching. All he had to do was hit "Play"and her world would be destroyed."We need to run to the store." When Tyson had no responseto offer, Bridge threw up her hands. "We need milk Ty."