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StoryofMyLifebyHelenKellerPartI.TheStoryofMyLifeChapterIItiswithakindoffearthatIbegintowritethehistoryofmylife.Ihave,asitwere,asuperstitioushesitationinliftingtheveilthatclingsaboutmychildhoodlikeagoldenmist.Thetaskofwritinganautobiographyisadifficultone.WhenItrytoclassifymyearliestimpressions,Ifindthatfactandfancylookalikeacrosstheyearsthatlinkthepastwiththepresent.Thewomanpaintsthechild'sexperiencesinherownfantasy.Afewimpressionsstandoutvividlyfromthefirstyearsofmylife;but"theshadowsoftheprison-houseareontherest."Besides,manyofthejoysandsorrowsofchildhoodhavelosttheirpoignancy;andmanyincidentsofvitalimportanceinmyearlyeducationhavebeenforgottenintheexcitementofgreatdiscoveries.Inorder,therefore,nottobetediousIshalltrytopresentinaseriesofsketchesonlytheepisodesthatseemtometobethemostinterestingandimportant.IwasbornonJune27,1880,inTuscumbia,alittletownofnorthernAlabama.Thefamilyonmyfather'ssideisdescendedfromCasparKeller,anativeofSwitzerland,whosettledinMaryland.OneofmySwissancestorswasthefirstteacherofthedeafinZurichandwroteabookonthesubjectoftheireducation--ratherasingularcoincidence;thoughitistruethatthereisnokingwhohasnothadaslaveamonghisancestors,andnoslavewhohasnothadakingamonghis.Mygrandfather,CasparKeller'sson,"entered"largetractsoflandinAlabamaandfinallysettledthere.IhavebeentoldthatonceayearhewentfromTuscumbiatoPhiladelphiaonhorsebacktopurchasesuppliesfortheplantation,andmyaunthasinherpossessionmanyoftheletterstohisfamily,whichgivecharmingandvividaccountsofthesetrips.MyGrandmotherKellerwasadaughterofoneofLafayette'saides,AlexanderMoore,andgranddaughterofAlexanderSpotswood,anearlyColonialGovernorofVirginia.ShewasalsosecondcousintoRobertE.Lee.Myfather,ArthurH.Keller,wasacaptainintheConfederateArmy,andmymother,KateAdams,washissecondwifeandmanyyearsyounger.Hergrandfather,BenjaminAdams,marriedSusannaE.Goodhue,andlivedinNewbury,Massachusetts,formanyyears.Theirson,CharlesAdams,wasborninNewburyport,Massachusetts,andmovedtoHelena,Arkansas.WhentheCivilWarbrokeout,hefoughtonthesideoftheSouthandbecameabrigadier-general.HemarriedLucyHelenEverett,whobelongedtothesamefamilyofEverettsasEdwardEverettandDr.EdwardEverettHale.AfterthewarwasoverthefamilymovedtoMemphis,Tennessee.Ilived,uptothetimeoftheillnessthatdeprivedmeofmysightandhearing,inatinyhouseconsistingofalargesquareroomandasmallone,inwhichtheservantslept.ItisacustomintheSouthtobuildasmallhousenearthehomesteadasanannextobeusedonoccasion.SuchahousemyfatherbuiltaftertheCivilWar,andwhenhemarriedmymothertheywenttoliveinit.Itwascompletelycoveredwithvines,climbingrosesandhoneysuckles.Fromthegardenitlookedlikeanarbour.ThelittleporchwashiddenfromviewbyascreenofyellowrosesandSouthernsmilax.Itwasthefavouritehauntofhumming-birdsandbees.TheKellerhomestead,wherethefamilylived,wasafewstepsfromourlittlero
 
se-bower.Itwascalled"IvyGreen"becausethehouseandthesurroundingtreesandfenceswerecoveredwithbeautifulEnglishivy.Itsold-fashionedgardenwastheparadiseofmychildhood.Eveninthedaysbeforemyteachercame,Iusedtofeelalongthesquarestiffboxwoodhedges,and,guidedbythesenseofsmellwouldfindthefirstvioletsandlilies.There,too,afterafitoftemper,Iwenttofindcomfortandtohidemyhotfaceinthecoolleavesandgrass.Whatjoyitwastolosemyselfinthatgardenofflowers,towanderhappilyfromspottospot,until,comingsuddenlyuponabeautifulvine,Irecognizeditbyitsleavesandblossoms,andknewitwasthevinewhichcoveredthetumble-downsummer-houseatthefartherendofthegarden!Here,also,weretrailingclematis,droopingjessamine,andsomeraresweetflowerscalledbutterflylilies,becausetheirfragilepetalsresemblebutterflies'wings.Buttheroses--theywereloveliestofall.NeverhaveIfoundinthegreenhousesoftheNorthsuchheart-satisfyingrosesastheclimbingrosesofmysouthernhome.Theyusedtohanginlongfestoonsfromourporch,fillingthewholeairwiththeirfragrance,untaintedbyanyearthysmell;andintheearlymorning,washedinthedew,theyfeltsosoft,sopure,IcouldnothelpwonderingiftheydidnotresembletheasphodelsofGod'sgarden.Thebeginningofmylifewassimpleandmuchlikeeveryotherlittlelife.Icame,Isaw,Iconquered,asthefirstbabyinthefamilyalwaysdoes.Therewastheusualamountofdiscussionastoanameforme.Thefirstbabyinthefamilywasnottobelightlynamed,everyonewasemphaticaboutthat.MyfathersuggestedthenameofMildredCampbell,anancestorwhomhehighlyesteemed,andhedeclinedtotakeanyfurtherpartinthediscussion.MymothersolvedtheproblembygivingitasherwishthatIshouldbecalledafterhermother,whosemaidennamewasHelenEverett.Butintheexcitementofcarryingmetochurchmyfatherlostthenameontheway,verynaturally,sinceitwasoneinwhichhehaddeclinedtohaveapart.Whentheministeraskedhimforit,hejustrememberedthatithadbeendecidedtocallmeaftermygrandmother,andhegavehernameasHelenAdams.IamtoldthatwhileIwasstillinlongdressesIshowedmanysignsofaneager,self-assertingdisposition.EverythingthatIsawotherpeopledoIinsisteduponimitating.AtsixmonthsIcouldpipeout"Howd'ye,"andonedayIattractedeveryone'sattentionbysaying"Tea,tea,tea"quiteplainly.EvenaftermyillnessIrememberedoneofthewordsIhadlearnedintheseearlymonths.Itwastheword"water,"andIcontinuedtomakesomesoundforthatwordafterallotherspeechwaslost.Iceasedmakingthesound"wah-wah"onlywhenIlearnedtospelltheword.TheytellmeIwalkedthedayIwasayearold.Mymotherhadjusttakenmeoutofthebath-tubandwasholdingmeinherlap,whenIwassuddenlyattractedbytheflickeringshadowsofleavesthatdancedinthesunlightonthesmoothfloor.Islippedfrommymother'slapandalmostrantowardthem.Theimpulsegone,Ifelldownandcriedforhertotakemeupinherarms.Thesehappydaysdidnotlastlong.Onebriefspring,musicalwiththesongofrobinandmocking-bird,onesummerrichinfruitandroses,oneautumnofgoldandcrimsonspedbyandlefttheirgiftsatthefeetofaneager,delightedchild.Then,inthedrearymonthofFebruary,cametheillnesswhichclosedmyeyesandearsandplungedmeintotheunconsciousnessofanew-bornbaby.Theycalleditacutecongestionofthestomachandbrain.ThedoctorthoughtIcouldnotlive.Earlyonemorning,however,thefeverleftmeassuddenlyandmysteriouslyasithadcome.Therewasgreatrejoicinginthefamilythatmorning,butnoone,noteventhedoctor,knewthatIshouldneverseeorhearagain.IfancyIstillhaveconfusedrecollectionsofthatillness.Iespeciallyrememberthetendernesswithwhichmymothertriedtosoothemeinmywalinghoursof
 
fretandpain,andtheagonyandbewildermentwithwhichIawokeafteratossinghalfsleep,andturnedmyeyes,sodryandhot,tothewallawayfromtheonce-lovedlight,whichcametomedimandyetmoredimeachday.But,exceptforthesefleetingmemories,if,indeed,theybememories,itallseemsveryunreal,likeanightmare.GraduallyIgotusedtothesilenceanddarknessthatsurroundedmeandforgotthatithadeverbeendifferent,untilshecame--myteacher--whowastosetmyspiritfree.ButduringthefirstnineteenmonthsofmylifeIhadcaughtglimpsesofbroad,greenfields,aluminoussky,treesandflowerswhichthedarknessthatfollowedcouldnotwhollyblotout.Ifwehaveonceseen,"thedayisours,andwhatthedayhasshown."ChapterIIIcannotrecallwhathappenedduringthefirstmonthsaftermyillness.IonlyknowthatIsatinmymother'slaporclungtoherdressasshewentaboutherhouseholdduties.Myhandsfelteveryobjectandobservedeverymotion,andinthiswayIlearnedtoknowmanythings.SoonIfelttheneedofsomecommunicationwithothersandbegantomakecrudesigns.Ashakeoftheheadmeant"No"andanod,"Yes,"apullmeant"Come"andapush,"Go."WasitbreadthatIwanted?ThenIwouldimitatetheactsofcuttingtheslicesandbutteringthem.IfIwantedmymothertomakeice-creamfordinnerImadethesignforworkingthefreezerandshivered,indicatingcold.Mymother,moreover,succeededinmakingmeunderstandagooddeal.Ialwaysknewwhenshewishedmetobringhersomething,andIwouldrunupstairsoranywhereelsesheindicated.Indeed,Iowetoherlovingwisdomallthatwasbrightandgoodinmylongnight.Iunderstoodagooddealofwhatwasgoingonaboutme.AtfiveIlearnedtofoldandputawaythecleanclotheswhentheywerebroughtinfromthelaundry,andIdistinguishedmyownfromtherest.Iknewbythewaymymotherandauntdressedwhentheyweregoingout,andIinvariablybeggedtogowiththem.Iwasalwayssentforwhentherewascompany,andwhenthegueststooktheirleave,Iwavedmyhandtothem,Ithinkwithavagueremembranceofthemeaningofthegesture.Onedaysomegentlemencalledonmymother,andIfelttheshuttingofthefrontdoorandothersoundsthatindicatedtheirarrival.OnasuddenthoughtIranupstairsbeforeanyonecouldstopme,toputonmyideaofacompanydress.Standingbeforethemirror,asIhadseenothersdo,Ianointedmineheadwithoilandcoveredmyfacethicklywithpowder.ThenIpinnedaveilovermyheadsothatitcoveredmyfaceandfellinfoldsdowntomyshoulders,andtiedanenormousbustleroundmysmallwaist,sothatitdangledbehind,almostmeetingthehemofmyskirt.ThusattiredIwentdowntohelpentertainthecompany.IdonotrememberwhenIfirstrealizedthatIwasdifferentfromotherpeople;butIknewitbeforemyteachercametome.IhadnoticedthatmymotherandmyfriendsdidnotusesignsasIdidwhentheywantedanythingdone,buttalkedwiththeirmouths.SometimesIstoodbetweentwopersonswhowereconversingandtouchedtheirlips.Icouldnotunderstand,andwasvexed.Imovedmylipsandgesticulatedfranticallywithoutresult.ThismademesoangryattimesthatIkickedandscreameduntilIwasexhausted.IthinkIknewwhenIwasnaughty,forIknewthatithurtElla,mynurse,tokickher,andwhenmyfitoftemperwasoverIhadafeelingakintoregret.ButIcannotrememberanyinstanceinwhichthisfeelingpreventedmefromrepeatingthenaughtinesswhenIfailedtogetwhatIwanted.Inthosedaysalittlecolouredgirl,MarthaWashington,thechildofourcook,andBelle,anoldsetter,andagreathunterinherday,weremyconstantcompanions.MarthaWashingtonunderstoodmysigns,andIseldomhadanydifficultyin
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