Station 2: Thinking about High School Social Structures

Read the following newspaper story, then discuss the questions that follow.

Inside Quad-City high school cliques

By Ann McGlynn, QUAD-CITY TIMES (Iowa, 1999)

On a rainy Wednesday morning, just before the school bell rang at 8 a.m., it started.

One group of students, some with hair dyed black, clothes to match and earrings dotting
lips, eyebrows and tongues, stood to the right of the school doors. Other students, some
wearing jeans, jackets and with hair up in ponytails, gathered to the left.

In between, teens from other groups passed by without notice on the way to meet friends
near their lockers.

This scene happened to play out at Bettendorf High School last week. But it is replayed at
every high school every day: teens grouping with similarly dressed, like-minded teens in
cliques.

The jocks. The preppies. The Goths. The Mansonites. The skaters. The thespians. The
musicians. The dirties. The computer geeks.

The Quad-City Times recruited 12 high school journalists to get first-hand accounts of
what unites and divides teenagers. In interviews with more than 35 high school students,
the reporting team heard about different viewpoints.

Despite those differences, the reporting effort showed one important point of agreement:
everyone must work harder to show respect to others.

"Weíre failing there. Weíre failing with respect. Weíre fixing the symptoms and not the
cause," said Lyndsay Deckert, a senior at DeWitt (Iowa) Central High School.

Cliques form in the junior high and high school years because teens are working to form
their identity away from their family ó the first social group, said Linda Petersen,
assistant professor of social work at Marycrest International University of Davenport.

"Kids need to do that. They need to dye their hair purple of pierce their tongue. We want
kids to experiment with different personalities," she said.

Some kids go into a clique that is opposite of their familyís personality. Others join a
clique that has the same characteristics as their parents and siblings, Petersen said.
"Some cliques serve as almost another family, in which people hold different roles, and
offer an alternative support group," said Meghan Smith, a student at United Township
High School.

Yet others cross the line between cliques and have friends who are cheerleaders and gang
bangers. Some donít reach out to a group; they reach out to a teacher or pastor or another
adult.

Itís when teens canít reach out that many get into trouble, Petersen said.

"Itís good to feel like you belong to something," Davenport North student Tania Derrick
said.

However, cliques can be damaging, too, Petersen cautions.

"There is unneeded hatred among the cliques," said Kim Frizzell, a student at Pleasant
Valley High School. "You donít even know each other, but you hate one another."

Mark Vincent, a social psychologist at Augustana College in Rock Island, agrees.

"You tend to like members of your own group and not like the members of other groups
... and think ëwe are better than themí," he said.

Frizzell has been at the receiving end of comments about the "other group."

"Some would say we are drug addicts, violent, racist, consumed with death and darkness.
They say we donít shower. They say we are psychos and gay. They use very derogatory
terms."

Vincent explains humans do tend to believe that members of other groups are all the
same. At the same time, they recognize the distinct differences among the people in their
own group ó physically, mentally and emotionally, he adds.

It takes a conscious attempt to break down that thought process, as well as an opportunity
to do so, he said. And itís the opportunity that may be the hardest part.

"People will tell me, ëI didnít like you before because of your friends. Now that I know
you, youíre pretty cool,í" said Bambi Suits, a student at United Township High School.

Vincent offered one suggestion for students: ask to designate a day at school to encourage
students to talk to someone they have never spoken with before ó kind of like a dress up
day for homecoming week.

"You could start a whole new dialogue," he said.

High School Cliques
Every school has "cliques"; small groups of people with similar interests who hang out
exclusively with one another. But are cliques harmful to the high school environment?
The next time you walk into our school cafeteria, take a look around. If your school is
like a lot of others in Malaysia, there are gaggles of kids sitting together in little groups,
each group distinctly separate from the other. These cliques are the driving force behind
social patterns in the high school setting; the clique you're in determines whom you
associate with, what activities you're involved in, and whether or not your high school
experience is a happy one. And if you're not in a clique, what do you do? The cliques in
High School really seem to alienate a lot of kids. The athletes won't talk to the drama
kids, or the skaters won't talk to the academic kids, it's li

There are a lot of kids who seem really unhappy because there aren't a lot of people with
similar interests to hang around with, Some people think that kids who aren't in a clique
are in a little clique of their own. Usually those people aren't happy being by themselves,
they're just lonely and they actually feel like outcasts. In-depth analysis 24/7 of every
school shooting makes kids realize there is a way to get noticed, whether it's good or not.
Some cliques in high school are jocks, nerds, geeks, and cheerleaders. Our school has all
these little cliques that compete with each other. It's really hard to get into one of them if
you're a loner, so a lot of kids are just left out. Cliques in high school seem to have a
greater effect on the kids that don't fit into a group than those associated with a certain
crowd. So, what's the solution to all of the anguish caused by cliques? Is it enough to try
ignoring the confines of a clique and do your best to become acquainted with a variety of
people? Is it the media's fault some kids don't fit in? Should the school administration be
responsible for making everyone play nice? Will there ever be a time when all students
will be treated equally? I guess we'll never know. It's got to stop, or else our schools are
going to be in some serious trouble. Sure, the existence of cliques can decrease
communication between students in a school, but can they really undermine a student's
quest for happiness, or even cause violence, as the media suggested in the wake of school
shootings like the one in Columbine? There are so many acts of violence in schools now,
and it's because there are lots of kids that don't fall in to a certain group. Susan also
believes that the media has an integral role in the cause of clique-related school violence.
" Some common cliques in many high schools are groups such as rappers, bookworms,
and gangsters. If we want to change cliques we need to change the media. Student leaders
agree that the growing lack of unity in schools is one of the most difficult problems they
face.
School Cliques: Are You In or Out?

By Samantha Tay ­ Staff Writer

Every day, when I walk through the halls of my school, I see the sport jocks, the
"hot" babes, the "plain janes", the geeks, the loners, the troublemakers,

The list is endless.

Why is it like that? And how can I, or any other teenager, fit into this crazy world of
cliques we call school?

It's not easy, but in this special report, we asked you, our web readers, to tell us
what you think of cliques and how you deal. Here's what we heard.

A Comfort Zone

Some teens think cliques are just a normal part of school and give a sense of
security and belonging.

"If you have a clique, you have a place where you belong," says Thomas, 15, from
Mount Vernon Secondary.

"There are cliques at my school, but it's not such a big deal. People tend to blend in
pretty well," agrees Audrey,17, from Catholic Junior College.

But others say cliques force you into being like everyone else.

"To me, cliques are just a way of conforming and fitting some mold. That's really the
only purpose they serve," says Claudia, 19, from the National University of
Singapore.

Here's some small comfort. Experts say school cliques are totally normal.

"Cliques are part of the process of figuring out who you are," says Dr. Antony Chin,
associate professor of psychology at the University of Sydney, Australia. "They're a
training ground for developing adult social skills."

But sometimes, cliques hurt.

Leah, a student at a particular Junior College, remembers the pain of seeing not only
classmates -- but teachers -- treat a certain group of teens like they're more special.

"There was one particular incident in my school, where the teacher caught one of the
more popular 'rugby' boys smoking and after being told that they weren't allowed to
smoke in school,'' remembers Leah. "He says to the teacher, 'But we're the special
ones...we do what we want..and walked off.' And the thing that disgusts me most is
that he let them go without incident, even after he told them no."
Power Plays

At their worst, cliques can isolate people, making some teens total outcasts, while
others rule the school.

In some schools, many teens say some cliques in their school definitely have the
power.

"I don't like to admit this, but the "Pai Kias" and the prefects join together and reign
over everyone else,'' says Jamie, 15.

"There is this clique of 'elite' girls in my secondary school that used to exclude
everyone who weren't as pretty or as sociable as them." laments Alicia.

"A clique for social reasons is a good thing,'' adds Thomas. "A clique as a power
group is not good."

Floaters Rule

So what can we do?

Some teens say they reject cliques and have different groups of friends.

"I'm a floater,'' says Suzanne, 19, of the National University of Singapore. "I'm
friends with everyone, I guess, and that's OK with me. Too often people are defined
by the clothes they wear, the people they hang out with, but I've developed my own
sense of style and so dodged being judged by others." "I moved myself away from
those kinds of people because I realized it was too hard to be mean to everyone who
was different than me,'' adds Kristin, 18, from Singapore Polytechnic.

And Stephanie, 19 from NUS, says we need to realize that people are more than
labels.

"There's so much more to people then the stereotypes we give them,'' she says. "I
think life would be so much simpler if we could all accept one another and praise our
uniqueness.

"I say, instead of fearing what other people think, be brave, say hello to someone
who is walking alone down the hallway,'' she adds. "Invite somebody to sit with you,
if they don't seem to know anyone."

Build Teams

Dr Chin also has a few suggestions. Schools can do more "team building' -- getting
students involved together in a project or activity. (This is an idea you can present to
your principal or get a school group involved in organizing).
"Whenever groups have a common problem to work on, that's when people usually
rally together and forget their differences," he explains.

Teenagers can also try to build friendships with different people and not get so
caught up in who's popular and who's not. You can, for example, join clubs where
you'll meet people outside your clique, but who have similar interests.

The most important thing to remember is that who you hang with isn't who you who
you are. You need to be your own individual person and focus on things that help you
be yourself. Before you can feel comfortable in any group, you have to feel
comfortable with yourself.

"I try not to let cliques rule my life because I have an attitude of 'Who cares?,'' says
Amanda, 19, from Singapore Polytechnic. "I am me and no one will stand in my way.
At recess one day Madison's teacher found her sitting alone at lunch, looking sad and
upset. She could barely bite the peanut butter sandwich that she usually couldn't wait to
eat. "What's the matter, Madison?" the teacher asked.

Later that afternoon, Trey was standing alone by the basketball court after school. Trey's
mom asked him why he didn't go play with Zack and Steve, who were shooting hoops.
He told his mom he just didn't feel like it, so they walked home.

But the truth was, Trey and Madison were facing the same problem: They both felt left
out, and their feelings were hurt.

Madison was so sad that she didn't want to eat, and Trey was so mad that when he got
home he slammed his bedroom door. Kids who were their friends yesterday weren't their
friends today. What happened?

What Are Cliques?

Cliques are groups of friends, but not all groups of friends are cliques. The thing that
makes a group a clique is that they leave some kids out on purpose. Usually one or two
popular kids control who gets to be in the clique and who gets left out. Kids may act
much differently than they did before they were part of the clique.
Everyone feels left out by friends once in a while. Friends are people just like us — they
make mistakes and usually we can forgive them (after all, we make mistakes too!).
Sometimes friends fight and make up again.

But sometimes kids form groups that they won't let other kids belong to. A clique is a
group of kids who hang out together and won't let others join in. Sometimes kids in the
clique are mean to kids they think are on the outside.

For instance, Trey and Steve always played basketball after school. But Zack started
pushing Trey out of the group, and now even Steve was saying mean stuff to Trey. Same
with Madison and Allie. They used to have sleepovers all the time, but now Cleo was
hosting the sleepovers and she didn't invite Madison.

Kids might form cliques in elementary school or in middle school. Sometimes cliques are
made of kids who share an interest in something, like sports or computer games or music.
Sometimes the kids in them want to be popular or want to belong.

Both boys and girls have cliques, though people who study these groups say girl cliques
may be worse. Girl cliques are often meaner and more hurtful in the way they treat girls
who aren't in the group.

If you are on the outside of a clique, it can hurt your feelings. You might feel very
frustrated, angry, or sad and want to cry or say mean things about the people in the clique.
You might feel lonely if you're alone at lunch or after school, or even afraid if you feel
that someone might pick on you or fight with you. You might be frustrated or upset
because you don't know what to do. You might feel down on yourself because the group
doesn't want you as a member. You might feel hurt because of the ways other kids keep
you out.

Why Do Other Kids Join Cliques?

One of the hard things about cliques is if a person who was your friend joins one and
starts treating you differently. Sometimes, the problem starts with an argument between
the two of you. But other times you can find yourself on the outside of a clique even if
nothing happened.

Sometimes you get left out because you look, act, or dress differently from the other kids.
Or just because you're the "new kid" in class. Kids who get into cliques usually want to
be popular and feel cool. Sometimes kids think that belonging to a clique will keep them
from feeling left out. Some kids feel more powerful when they are mean to other people.

Kids in cliques sometimes act differently than they would outside the group. They often
go along with what the others are doing, even if they know it's not right — even if it
means leaving out a friend. They might feel bad about it, but they can't figure out how to
be cool and still be nice to the person who's not in the clique. This is no excuse, though.
Plenty of kids manage to be nice to everyone — kids in and outside their closest group of
friends — without being part of a clique.

Sometimes kids in cliques find that they don't really want to belong to it anymore. They
don't want to be bossed around by the rules of the clique, and they don't want to leave
others out and hurt people's feelings.

Sometimes they realize they are missing out on being friends with great kids outside of
the clique. Some kids realize that they have to give up some freedom and maybe even
change the kind of people they are or what kind of music they like or clothes they want to
wear.

Even if no one is being mean to you personally, you still might find it annoying if there
are cliques you're not welcome to be part of. Or you might be part of a clique, but are
getting tired of being bossed around.

As kids get older, they usually outgrow the need to be part of a clique or they are more
relaxed about who is "in" and who is "out." For some kids this takes a while. Most
cliques have disappeared by the end of high school, making way for more fun and
enjoyable friendship groups.

What Can People Do About Cliques?

Parents, sisters and brothers, other family members, and teachers can help when someone
is being left out or treated in a mean way. They might help by giving you advice on how
to deal with mean kids. Sometimes they can teach kids that it isn't OK to treat others this
way and show them ways to stop kids being mean to other kids.

If you or someone you know is being treated meanly or bullied by members of a clique,
telling an adult is important. Adults can also help kids learn to play together, include each
other, mend hurt feelings, and repair broken friendships. They can encourage kids to
make friends and belong to a group without leaving others out. They can show kids how
to be popular by treating everyone with respect and kindness.

If cliques are upsetting you, what can you do?

• Find friends. If you find yourself left out of a certain group, focus on other
friends. Hang out with kids who aren't part of a clique. Sometimes this means
finding older or younger kids to hang out with, or making friends outside school.
Sometimes it means being open to kids who look or act differently than you do.
• Speak up. If your group of friends has suddenly turned into a clique, speak up.
It's OK to say that you want to invite others to hang out with you, too. Be
prepared for the fact that the clique might go on without you. On the other hand,
others might follow your lead and stop acting so clique-y.
• Invite a friend. If you're on the outside of a clique and you want to be friends
with someone who's in it, invite that person to do something with you. It might
 help if you can see your friend away from the other clique members. Maybe your
mom or dad could arrange to have that friend visit at your house on the weekend.
By spending time together, he or she might start realizing how silly it is not to
hang out more often. But also be prepared for possible disappointment. Even if
you have a great time together, your friend might still slip back into the clique
when you're all back at school.
• Don't take it out on yourself. Some kids feel they should try to change
themselves — and that's OK too. Maybe you want to get healthy and fit or learn
to smile more and be less cranky — it's great to work on yourself, but do it for
you, not for anyone else. If some kids are mean to you because they think you
don't fit in, don't let them make decisions about the kind of kid you are going to
be. Decide for yourself and then get help to reach your goals. Ask a cool cousin or
friend to help you revamp your wardrobe or get a new haircut. But only change
yourself if it's something you want to do.
• Look for friends everywhere. The most popular and well-liked kids are the ones
who are friendly to everyone. Do your best to let everyone feel welcome to talk to
you. Look for chances to meet, talk with, and play with plenty of different kids. Is
someone sitting alone at lunch? Why not ask her to sit at your table? Or maybe
you noticed the kid standing outside the fence while you're playing basketball. It's
time to invite him onto the court. Who knows — maybe the two of you will really
click (which means to get along really well). Now that's a much better kind of
click!
clique quiz
the classic clique quiz..oh joy
personality test
There are 17 Comments on this quiz (View Comments)

1 the classic color question

black
pink or anyother bright color
blue
orange or someother wierd color
other

2 do u care what people think?

OMG YES! IT IS EVERYTHING!!

alittle bit i just dont like it when people make fun of me
yea only when they say go cut urself or somethin like that
only my friends
HAHAHA NOPE

3 how do u dress?

hollister, american eagle, u know!

umm whatever i see 1st
umm alot of black but some other
colors
black..black..BLACK
whateverrrr i want

4 do u think eyeliner is gross on guys?

ewwwwwwww
umm i dont like it very much
HOT!!
all my friends including me wear it
some guys can pull it off

5 school is...
 so cool! I get to see allll my friends!
would be bearable excpet 4 the popular people makin fun of me
its alriteeee
school..in one word..a nightmare
it would b ok if it wernt 4 the stupid cliques

6 ok last question.....do u know whats going on in politics?

politcs? Why not aks me who jessica simpson is dating!

i follow it...closly
ehhh no
politics is just another way for the gov. to change us
not really but a little bit

Prep

you care about what people think, & are popular..woop de do.

emo

emo is a type of music not a person but uve probalby been called this b4..so go cut
urself..jk

Nerd

You are a nerd...thats all i can say.

Cliques

All adolescents are confronted with a host of challenging concerns. There are academic
performance issues and conflicts with parents about clothing and curfews. Often, there
are worries about money and paying for their education and the extras that are needed.
Then, there are decisions about the future, and, of course, about one’s social life. It is
hard for adolescents to face all of these issues.
In the ideal world, teens would be able to spend lots of time discussing these issues with
their parents. But, often, parents live fragmented lives. They may be working long hours
while simultaneously caring for the needs of aging parents. Feeling that their last bit of
energy has been sapped by so many responsibilities and demands, they may have little
ability to attend to the on-going crises of the teen years. Plus, teens may consider their
parents to be a little out of touch with the times, and they may prefer input from their
peers.

So, not surprisingly, many teens gravitate to cliques or tightly interconnected circles of
friends. These are classmates who share interests and values. They fill emotional voids.
There are probably at least a few cliques in just about every middle and high school. The
larger the school, the greater the number and diversity of cliques. Teens turn to the
members of their clique for advice and support. Adolescents spend their free time with
them. Cliques are the best sounding board if teens are having problems with their
teachers or parents. Members of cliques will listen and be accepting.